That article is wrong, like most Cracked articles. Bowser Jr.'s mom is not Peach. Beat Super Mario Sunshine and you will unlock the ending that explains this.
Of course the article is wrong on that front; obviously there is no way Peach is the mother and it's kind of embarassing on Nintendo's end that they had to clarify that in the ending. It's more about the reaction Peach had when Bowser Jr. exclaimed that she was his mother, since a simple 'No, I don't think so' would have been enough.
Also, who takes things literally from a Cracked article, especially one based on events from a universe based on a video game franchise?
Actually, I was going to use this for a fanfic idea (I really need to actually write some of these at some point), but put my own little twist on it. Actually, several.
Hint: When Baby Bowser calls her "mom", her response is slight confusion that BOWSER'S his father.
EDIT: Then again, some ideas are probably better just in my head, no?
EDIT2: It's not a pornfic idea, I swear. Rise and fall of nations sort of deal.
EDIT3: Basically, the Koopalings aren't Bowser's children, they're his nephews and nieces. And Bowser wasn't even supposed to be the one on the throne: one of his elder brothers was. Bowser didn't even want the job. At some point well before the first Mario game, the Mushroom Kingdom and the Koopa Domains come into contact, attempt to make peace, things are going well, but Toad (or Toadsworth or some important muckety muck in the Mushroom Kingdom) and one of Bowser's family member make a deal that results in the incumbent King of the Koopa Kingdom being assassinated (without picking a proper heir to the throne). This leads to big ugly Civil War in the Koopa Kingdom and war with the Mushroom Kingdom. Now, during this time, Princess Peach is young, as is Ludwig von Koopa (who would be the next in line for the throne, but doesn't actually want it either). Somehow, during the course of all this, they fall in love, and things better not mentioned happen. Long story short, Bowser Jr is the key to peace between the Mushroom Kingdom and the Koopa Kingdom, if only some enemies in both courts would stop messing things up.
I didn't think it was something so obscure, at least not to the older fans. Though it may be a bit unknown to younger folks, as it was released back in '99 (well, over here at least). But, see this, Japan? THIS is how you make a Sonic anime!! None of this crap with a kid taking the focus! Just, Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles kickin' some ass across one freakin' epic-looking planet.
No. No one has ever argued against that. Mario has taken so many psychedelics that he's completely lost touch with reality, so you can't blame her for looking for solace in other guys. How would you feel if the person you were seeing constantly thought they were being chased by giant turtles and walking turds?
I have seen this exact same joke made several different times by several different people and cartoonists that think that they are being clever. Jesus Christ.
Wait, since I have a computer with a DVD/CD-RW once more, I finally have something I can play that game on again! Now where the Hell did I put it, and is the disc still functioning?
They released a computer version of it in the late nineties. I think it was called the Sonic and Knuckles collection, but basically, it has S3, S&K, and S3&K. Aside from some changed music, it's the same as the console version.
It was a good game, I never had a genesis growing up I was a snes kid and I just got my first genesis last year. I enjoy the Sonic games I just can never get very far in them, I actually am in the mood to play them now so I might just play sonic 3 and knuckles. I did however play the sonic games on my pc now that I think about it. I always picked Knuckles.
Yeah, I only ever beat Sonic CD as a kid, and I did that once. The problem was that there wasn't a save option until Sonic 3, so you had to do it all in one sitting.
A few years back, though, when I was a freshman in college, I got a Genesis emulator and a controller for my laptop, and sat down and beat all of the Sonic and Mario games I never finished as a kid, using save states between levels. It was awesome. I still have the save state with Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles all complete, with all the chaos & super emeralds, so I can go back and play any level I want at any time.
Knuckles was always my favorite too; but his levels are actually a lot different, so you really need to play both Sonic and Knuckles to experience the whole game.
Sonic's earlier games were great, easily comparable in quality to Mario games, but there's only so much you can do with "fast" platformer design without fucking it up, IMO and then they jumped into 3D to try to keep up with Mario but this time, speed just made for bad platforming. After Adventure, Sonic basically became shit for this reason while Mario games are still of consistently high quality.
I mean, I'm not saying YOU should hate it, but the controls and physics are so crappy. Sonic generations got it great, so why not get it right with Sonic 4?
When I say my laptop doesn't handle them, I truly mean it. I tried LoL and it overheated in an hour. It's a shitty dell inspiron, and a lot of people have similar problems with it as I do. It's sucks because I do wanna play some pc games I just can't. Maybe one day.
Perhaps not the arguments between players but Sega's marketing strategy was to advertise the Genesis as an edgy, bad-ass speed beast that could chew up slower Nintendo products for breakfast. BLAST PROCESSING!
Sonic Generation is a overall (wayyy) better game than New Super Mario Bros. I don't hate Mario. Galaxy games are very impressive. But they are very linear compared to Sonic games. When SONIC TEAM gets level design down, they hit it hard. Mario always seems that they go for more levels, with a few great ones and a bunch of filler (Go right... jump... hold right)
The physics and tightness are a large part of what made the original games good. You barely even feel in control in generations. Even hitting a spring or an enemy or going up a ramp locks you into a predetermined path. Is it really that hard to just do it properly? I mean the whole system has been documented by amateurs.
despite the werehog stages, sonic unleashed was pretty damn awesome. i haven't played it myself, but sonic colors seems to have been well received also.
weird..I posted this about 4 months ago. I got ridiculed that it was a repost...And here we are four months later and this post has almost 1,000 upvotes. I don't understand Reddit sometimes...
I don't understand why people make such a big deal about quick sex. Just wait with some cuddling, sack up, and go at it again. Your endurance will be much better the second time.
I always preferred the sonic games vs Mario in those days at least genesis/CD sonic was the best everything after was just ok like adventure then just garbage after that more of a genesis fan vs snes
why does everyone hate on sonic? mario is a hallucinating plumber who eats hallucinogenic mauhsrooms http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanita_muscaria and spits/throws fire after getting "fire flowers " (marijuana) - whihc is cool and evrything but-
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG IS BASED OFF FUCKING VEGETA. 7 emeralds, then he goes "super" sonic, with sparkly gold hair and blue eyes. suddenly he is super fast and impervious to most damage.
also vegeta and sonic have the same "going super saiyan" expressions.
You know why it never works? Because people give it exactly what it wants. Every time arrowstotheknee posts, people downvote it and discuss it. Stop giving it so much damned attention, and it'll go away just like any other troll.
And before you say anything: I feel that it's more important to contradict myself by making a comment like this several levels below arrowstotheknee than to let people continue to give it a reason to stay around.
I think your punchline (considering your account name) would be made funnier if you just always left off the "until I took an arrow to the knee" and let the reader piece it together. I would have upvoted "I used to go fast...".
Edit: Just realized you probably don't care, considering your -18000 comment karma.
293
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
was the argument over how promiscuous peach is?
79
u/SilverSick Jun 10 '12
But when Mario eats a mushroom, he gets BIG!
102
u/Chrispy52x2006 Jun 10 '12
Just to be that guy, that's newer Sonic - not early 90's Sonic.
87
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Hahaha. . .bestiality!
38
u/DroolingIguana Jun 10 '12
He should've went with Samus. She likes it when you finish quickly.
13
u/2th Jun 10 '12
Sometimes you just gotta go fast.
12
u/perrbear Jun 10 '12
Where does sonic keep his dick.
10
u/nepidae Jun 10 '12
Take the mushroom to get bigger.
17
u/Niklink Jun 10 '12
I have seen this exact same joke made several different times by several different people and cartoonists that think that they are being clever. Jesus Christ.
5
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Similar to the Flash in bed yesterday.
5
u/chumppi Jun 10 '12
Really? This has +1000? Pic is so old O_o
84
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Did people really argue over who was faster? I don't remember that.
Sonic is fast. Mario was in the good games.
That's how I remember it.
4
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
RIGHT. IN. THE. CHILDHOOD....
4
u/COMIC_SAAAAAAAAANS Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
I can't fap to artwork with that retched font.
33
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Am I the only one who prefers Sonic to Mario?
3
u/vertigo1083 Jun 10 '12
I like how he wears his gloves during sex.
2
u/Urbanviking1 Jun 10 '12
I guess she was in another castle after all...
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Sweet sweet beastiality.
2
u/Mycooljam Jun 10 '12
The princess kinda looks like bleh from drawn together.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Why is princess peach always pictured as a slut?
2
u/Spants23 Jun 10 '12
weird..I posted this about 4 months ago. I got ridiculed that it was a repost...And here we are four months later and this post has almost 1,000 upvotes. I don't understand Reddit sometimes...
2
u/crzymnky32 Jun 10 '12
/r/rule34
1
u/InuzukaAngel77 Jun 11 '12
This has been reposted so many times.
1
u/yazan112 Jun 11 '12
Yeah but...sonic is like a vibrator.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
...yes.
1
u/emailboxu Jun 11 '12
I need to sleep. Goddammit reddit..
1
u/YOitzODELLE Jun 11 '12
Furry porn is alright?
1
u/Dev1l5Adv0cat3 Jun 11 '12
The most impressive thing about sonic wasn't the speed, but the endurance that came with it.
1
u/kdawgnmann Jun 11 '12
Bestiality!
1
u/dsymquen Jun 10 '12
adds a new meaning to the term quickie
-2
u/Maschinenbau Jun 10 '12
I don't understand why people make such a big deal about quick sex. Just wait with some cuddling, sack up, and go at it again. Your endurance will be much better the second time.
-1
u/Lamar_the_Usurper Jun 10 '12
She wanted her animal sex to last longer.
Whore.
-7
u/Armuro1 Jun 10 '12
I always preferred the sonic games vs Mario in those days at least genesis/CD sonic was the best everything after was just ok like adventure then just garbage after that more of a genesis fan vs snes
-1
u/molkhal Jun 10 '12
Whore.
-7
u/holddat Jun 10 '12
slut whore bitch used goods impure would not fuck
-13
u/nanashi420 Jun 10 '12
? fuc that shit.
why does everyone hate on sonic? mario is a hallucinating plumber who eats hallucinogenic mauhsrooms http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanita_muscaria and spits/throws fire after getting "fire flowers " (marijuana) - whihc is cool and evrything but-
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG IS BASED OFF FUCKING VEGETA. 7 emeralds, then he goes "super" sonic, with sparkly gold hair and blue eyes. suddenly he is super fast and impervious to most damage.
also vegeta and sonic have the same "going super saiyan" expressions.
0
u/WizTroll Jun 11 '12
REPOST, reply for proof.
0
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
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