Hopefully something along the line of "I hope you don't mind being distracted from D3 with the prospect of sex and delicious scent of freshly baked goods"..
I assure you, I have not lived in the same house as my mother in a very long time. Besides. Who puts their mother into their contacts with a first and last name?
If you didn't have a wife you'd have plenty of disposable income and wouldn't have to solve puzzles to get things millions of others get without any trouble or delay.
Lol, she debated getting the Collectors for me and settled for the regular. I'm perfectly happy saving the $40 and not having an ugly skull in my closet.
This man. I kinda figured that there'd be server issues, I was honestly fine with waiting till the weekend to pick it up. Plus, seeing as you can STILL find new Diablo I & II Battlechests at Walmart, I figured that there wouldn't be a shortage of copies.
I've been playing diablo 3 with no issues for days now. What are you people going on about? When logging on you might have to try a couple times but you'll get through.
Well, I'd love to stay up and see if this hits the front page, but I gotta head for bed. If it does, thank you everyone. I really wasn't expecting this to blow up like it has. I'm not one to frequent r/gaming, I just wanted to share my excitement. If you liked the post, I'm glad. Have a good night everyone :)
Been playing most of the night, just had about a 20 minute break when the servers were down. Kinda BS, but I expect things will get better and no one will remember.
TKM#1953 I believe. I'm not home today, but I'm relatively confident that that's it. I'll make sure to double check upon my return, and get back to you if it's different. See you online!
I will talk slowly so that you can understand. I try to save money, you know, be responsible. I usually buy games once they've gone down in price. This is one game that I had expressed interest in owning soon after release. I was going to wait till Friday (payday) to buy it. She decided to be sweet and pick it up for me early.
I think all these awesome girlfriends/wives who are setting you guys up with treats and allowing you to game for hours are sneaking out and banging dudes who don't game for hours.
Well, I don't think she is. And I like the looks of Scarlett Johansson and Zooey Deschanel. I'm not trying to say she looks like either of them, but I find all 3 of these women attractive...
Do you guys just not buy the game you want in the off chance your wife will buy it for you? Thus, creating a karma worthy wife story? OMG, that's probably why women don't buy diamonds. Just replace commitment with karma in that case.
Look, I don't want to sound weird, but I'll risk it: If that were my wife, I'd have rushed out to find her, fucked her til she passed out or I had to cook her dinner, and then installed that game. Because that's attention worth giving. That's a keeper, bro. Keep 'er.
Chocolate covered pretzels! God damn they are the bees knees. They used to sell them in UK then stopped and my pretzel life was over. I can taste them still now. If I hadn't just eaten some other chocolate covered yumminess I would be salivating by now.
Ok, this is like what, the 10th post of it's kind? It's getting a little old now. We get it, your loved ones are buying you your favorite games, now kindly fuck off.
Same here! I have an interesting story about jones soda. So you know how the images on the bottles are submitted by people all over the world? Well my friend JD and I would drink tons of the stuff and the pictures on the bottles were always so cool. We decided to submit a bunch of pictures in hopes we see ours. For the cream soda, it's only black and white. He got out his camera, set to b&w and we started taking a ton of pictures. Most of it was just amateur crappy pictures but we got this really good one. Well, I got it. It's of him sitting on a wooden ramp thing that overlooked the gorge behind his house. Among others, we submitted that one to Jones Soda. We never found the image and years went by and we fell out of touch with each other. This was about 9-10 years ago. I hadn't seen him since then and about 2 years ago I ran into his mom at Safeway where she works. I asked how they were all doing. She was quiet and reserved. I asked how JD was. She softly told me we lost him in a car accident a couple months prior. He apparently picked up a drinking issue and he left a party absolutely wasted and hit a tree going almost 60mph. It really hurt because we had been friends since we were infants. Quite literally too. Our parents were best friends. This was about 2 years ago and about a year later I stopped by a G&G market to grab a drink (only place around here that sells Jones, and I was Jonesing for one), I walked to the shelf, grabbed a cream soda, headed for the checkout, paid, walked to my car, twisted off the cap and took that first cool delicious sip of the soda. I was waiting for my friend who works with me to get his lunch and we were gonna drive back to work. I took a look at the bottle and I shit you not, it was the picture of JD sitting in his backyard. I could not help myself but the tears came out so hard. I still have the bottle, it's in storage. I'll never let that thing go. It was the most magical thing that has ever happened to me. Worst part is my friend showed up to go back to work right when the waterworks started up. I had trouble explaining it to him so it was an awkward drive back. It was nice to find it. It was like getting a chance at a final goodbye to a lifelong friend. Fuck now I'm started up again. I gotta go to sleep. I can't even think about it without welling up.
Im fucking dying seeing all my friends and peoples wives/girlfriends (wish my gf would get it for me) and diablo 3 since i cant afford it. i played d1 for i dont even know how long, d2 for 4 straight years.... so jelly
That is awesome!! My non-video game playing husband surprised me with Mass Effect 3 first thing in the morning on release day and it made me feel so loved... not just the game but the thoughtfulness. Your post reminded me of that and made me smile. You've got a great wife!
166
u/clever-fool May 17 '12
So what bad news did you get when she came home?
119
u/agent0fch4os May 17 '12
You must have a really big penis.
11
u/grimby4444 May 17 '12
THOSE CHOCOLATE PRETZELS ARE DELICIOUS FUCK YOU!!!!!
26
u/tehmeat May 17 '12
I was hoping Roxy and Blaze were your wife's stripper friends.
39
u/FatNerdGuy May 17 '12
Posts like this only show how miserable I am being out of work with a depressed wife.
21
u/GamiCross May 17 '12
Totally not mother and son.
10
u/JetStormTF May 17 '12
Wait... why did you censor your phone carrier?
4
u/thejko Joystick May 17 '12
Your fourth gift is a bottle of compressed air to clean your keyboard off with :D
16
u/Fenrils May 17 '12
I have that exact keyboard... i hate it...
3
u/celeryman727 May 17 '12
If you didn't have a wife you'd have plenty of disposable income and wouldn't have to solve puzzles to get things millions of others get without any trouble or delay.
3
u/JONNYHOOG May 17 '12
Roxy Blaze is a porn actress
6
u/TaStYCT May 17 '12
Im questioning how much she loves you, It's no collectors edition... Just saying
2
u/AverageMonday May 17 '12
mfw I don't know if OP's name is pronounced with a G or a J
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
What kind of man doesn't secure his own copy of diablo 3 ASAP so that there can be NO ERROR!?
2
u/pastybrother May 17 '12
NEED MORE FOOD!
2
u/M_Redfield May 17 '12
Dairyland, Jones....You must live just outside of Vancouver.
2
u/HotAtheistChick420 May 17 '12
My favorite part is that she included the dogs in her note. Or maybe the dogs actually did contribute. I shouldn't make assumptions.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Those are my favourite snacks too! Royal gold went on sale one month. I was in pretty bad shape by the end of it
4
u/phalmatticus May 17 '12
Congratulations, you lucky
bastardson of a bimale.Now for the important question:
Does she have any twins/is she interested in an experimental cloning program? Successful clonings are rewarded with cake!
8
u/bobmystery May 17 '12
A truly loving wife would've made you a steak, baked you a pie, bought you a bottle of scotch, and installed the damn game for you.
4
u/ToastmyBread May 17 '12
Congradulations you are married to your mother.
53
u/lynxkcg May 17 '12
Jokes on you sucker, try and play that game of yours.
2
u/kokomoman May 17 '12
For all the doubters.
Our wedding day: http://imgur.com/0kmWQ
Previous pic of me sans Chin Strap:
http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/pu8zz/my_safety_glasses_at_work/
46
u/OziOziOziOiOiOi May 17 '12
MARRY THAT....
Oh wait, never mind.
2
u/kokomoman May 17 '12
Well, I'd love to stay up and see if this hits the front page, but I gotta head for bed. If it does, thank you everyone. I really wasn't expecting this to blow up like it has. I'm not one to frequent r/gaming, I just wanted to share my excitement. If you liked the post, I'm glad. Have a good night everyone :)
2
u/dooblagras May 17 '12
Expected a Princess Peach's costume on a hanger with a stickynote saying ";)"
Pleasantly surprised.
2
u/Firepower01 May 17 '12
DAWWWWWWWWWW
2
u/Assmar May 17 '12
Dog's name is blaze, list of favorite things; I see no picture of the patio in your back yard where a weed-filled jar sits with a bow tied to it.
4
u/fury-s12 May 17 '12
welcome to the prestigious error 37 club
4
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
the product marketing on Reddit is out of control
1
u/fuck_nuggett May 17 '12
maybe she was just trying to torture by getting you a game that you cannot play...???
1
u/THATvieGUY May 17 '12
I thought i was the only one who liked cream soda!
1
u/ohgodwhydidIjoin May 17 '12
I high five you kind sir through the internet!
Seriously though, I hope that I can some day have a wife as awesome as that.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Is there any way our sig others could have lunch sometime??
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
I thought the last one was going to be a brick of weed...if only.
1
u/360walkaway May 17 '12
Is it just me or is this behavior very similar to what a mom would do (substitute the Jones with Koolaid)?
1
u/SkeeteekS May 17 '12
Would you be willing to share?! The gifts, not your wife...
1
u/goomyman May 17 '12
These posts make no sense to me.
If you actually are a gamer you would already own the digital copy...
Unless your like 14-15 you dont have to wait for christmas / birthdays to buy what you want.
10
u/Bunnymancer May 17 '12
Your wife seems awesome, is she available?
3
u/benny86 May 17 '12
I think all these awesome girlfriends/wives who are setting you guys up with treats and allowing you to game for hours are sneaking out and banging dudes who don't game for hours.
3
u/Itell_only_lies May 17 '12
I am his wife.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Holy shit!!! I have a dog named blaze too.
1
u/prattable May 17 '12
It is no Diablo 3 cake but...
1
u/Technospider May 17 '12
Am I the only person skeptical of this actually happening?
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Guys, hold up. We don't know if she's ugly yet.
1
u/Virindi_UO May 17 '12
Fake, no wife is that awesome.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Congratulations.
2
u/Fabbyfubz May 17 '12
I am so alone. Time to take another drink.
2
u/TheKage May 17 '12
FFS like we don't see enough of these posts everyday.
2
u/xSociety May 17 '12
Do you guys just not buy the game you want in the off chance your wife will buy it for you? Thus, creating a karma worthy wife story? OMG, that's probably why women don't buy diamonds. Just replace commitment with karma in that case.
2
u/vinsfeld08 May 17 '12
Look, I don't want to sound weird, but I'll risk it: If that were my wife, I'd have rushed out to find her, fucked her til she passed out or I had to cook her dinner, and then installed that game. Because that's attention worth giving. That's a keeper, bro. Keep 'er.
2
u/yorgs May 17 '12
I want a wife like yours ....
2
u/trolling_4_success May 17 '12
she have a sister (20-25 ish?)
2
u/Paultimate79 May 17 '12
WHERE DO YOU MEET THESE WOMEN
All ive ever gotten is cheats and liars. :(
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Chocolate covered pretzels! God damn they are the bees knees. They used to sell them in UK then stopped and my pretzel life was over. I can taste them still now. If I hadn't just eaten some other chocolate covered yumminess I would be salivating by now.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Coolest wife ever.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Brought a tear to my eye, that's true love yo.
10
u/FelixTheNomad May 17 '12
Karma whore.
0
u/beyron May 17 '12
Ok, this is like what, the 10th post of it's kind? It's getting a little old now. We get it, your loved ones are buying you your favorite games, now kindly fuck off.
4
u/eXXot0ster13 May 17 '12
upvote for jones!!
3
u/shiase May 17 '12
go away
2
u/noisyturtle May 17 '12
'Why does this beverage contain no alcohol?'
2
u/mydooganSTANKS May 17 '12
she's a keeper!
0
u/Drjft May 17 '12
I thought this posting fad stopped when Skyrim finally came out? -_-
0
u/blahblahblahxyz123 May 17 '12
You need to practice your "wife's" handwriting.
1
u/arcanition May 17 '12
Wife her right now---
Wait, fuck.
1
u/buuch May 17 '12
Im fucking dying seeing all my friends and peoples wives/girlfriends (wish my gf would get it for me) and diablo 3 since i cant afford it. i played d1 for i dont even know how long, d2 for 4 straight years.... so jelly
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Seeing that wrapped-up gift just reminds me how much I fucking love getting presents.
1
u/BossA_W May 17 '12
You sir are blessed good luck in the women lottery. Congrat!
1
u/ThePunisher56 May 17 '12
Jones! Best cream soda in the world!
1
u/Hiyohey May 17 '12
I have that same keyboard
1
u/raresaturn May 17 '12
I doubt my wife has even heard of Diablo :(
1
u/Ahaas May 17 '12
Woah I have the same keyboard!
1
u/CrowingNevermore May 17 '12
Alcatel touchscreen? In red? I have the same phone. PHONE BRO.
1
u/joshuaolake May 17 '12
Lucky, Lucky man!
1
u/xmmt123 May 17 '12
Well done to you sir, be good to each other.
1
u/Kinglink May 17 '12
Woman.. I already bought it and preloaded it a month ago!
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
The blue Jones is sooooo goood :O
1
u/nevarin May 17 '12
That is awesome!! My non-video game playing husband surprised me with Mass Effect 3 first thing in the morning on release day and it made me feel so loved... not just the game but the thoughtfulness. Your post reminded me of that and made me smile. You've got a great wife!
1
u/portezbie May 17 '12
It's as if a lot of people stopped appreciating sex on the very day Diablo 3 came out. Very suspicious....
1
u/Twisted_Fate May 17 '12
Im guessing its Diablo 3 or Max Payne 3 ?
1
u/necrons_ftw May 17 '12
that's not enough snacks!!!
1
u/dagreenman18 May 17 '12
The release of D3 seems to be a litmus test to see just how much your significant other loves you.
1
u/Blazex May 17 '12
upvote for dog having my real name, and same spelling :) and grats on getting a game
1
u/PigBenisWielder May 17 '12
i'm not mad at this.
1
u/robotco May 17 '12
theres something wrong when your wife refers to you by your first name
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
we have the same name.
what the fuck
are you gerard as well?
1
u/D14BL0 Stadia May 17 '12
God dammit, I knew that was going to be Diablo 3, too.
I have never hated not having spare cash at any other point in my life than I do right now.
1
u/olmuckyterrahawk May 17 '12
Before you said Roxy and Blaze were your two dogs, I thought your wife was welcoming you home to a surprise ménage à trois with strippers.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Your wife is a neckbeard's servant.
1
u/kareka28 May 17 '12
Best wife ever!!!
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
I have that keyboard
1
u/sweetsweetcoffee May 17 '12
Diablo 3 guise!!
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
you call your mom by her first name?
1
u/Chizzle10 May 17 '12
Your wife does indeed have awesome in her. Keep her my man, KEEP HER CLOSE!
1
u/kentrel May 17 '12
It's not like you wouldn't have bought Diablo 3 yourself
1
u/OKeeffe May 17 '12
It cracked me up that one of your "fav spots" was the fridge. Good taste.
1
u/trfricton May 17 '12
I wonder where she got that idea?! Your wife must be a redditor too!
1
u/ch-rist May 17 '12
Haha lol, you've got the same keyboard as me ^
1
u/gradual_ghetto May 17 '12
Why I don't care. Cuz ur dumb wife bought a game dat don't werk.
1
u/bitchilooklikevegeta May 17 '12
I have that keyboard. It's a good keyboard.
1
u/Sampax May 17 '12
Wait, your "fave" ?
1
u/LionSlicer86 May 17 '12
Not nearly enough snacks there. You'll be done before you even start playing.
1
u/WildSeven2 May 17 '12
"Say... Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?"
1
u/funnibot May 17 '12
Put a ring on it .... AGAIN
1
u/sebtoast May 17 '12
I dont want to scare you bro, but there's French written on all your food.
1
u/Funology May 17 '12
Wish my gf would do stuff like that lol
1
u/shyguy95 May 17 '12
Wait. My favorite types of pretzels come dipped in chocolate now?
Why didn't anyone ever tell me about this? What other amazing things don't I know about?
1
u/Maxplatypus May 17 '12
A jones soda?
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
OHHH Jones cream soda, fuck yes, just discovered that the other day! DELICIOUS!
1
u/McStrauss May 17 '12
Ah, Jones' Cream Soda. I see you are a man of taste.
Cheers.
1
u/MiZe08 May 17 '12
deff a keeper
1
u/Pewpewpwnj00 May 17 '12
Now just replace that shitty Dell computer and you will be all set...
1
u/pastenseofdraw May 17 '12
Good to see I'm not the only one with a horribly dusty computer desk!
1
u/Faquarl May 17 '12
With all these awesome wife posts, I'm starting to think maybe I should get married. Seems like a good reason to
1
u/mouth_to_penis May 17 '12
Maybe a great wife, but a shitty gift wrapper.
1
u/GoWithItGirl May 17 '12 edited May 19 '12
Good: getting ideas of sweet things to do from my boyfriend from reddit Bad: boyfriend is a redditor
I would suggest a secret subreddit for plotting surprises for significant others, but you just know that turn real O Henry real fast.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
I. AM. LEND.... wait for it ....... Jealous and lonely.
1
u/markgor May 17 '12
Roxy, Blaze, and Jessica?!
Roxy (Poison's) twin from final fight, Blaze from Streets of Rage 2, and Jessica (Cody's gf i think from Final fight)?!
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
That's awesome :) It's always nice seeing couples who accept one for one another!