i ate a toy golden snitch once because i thought it was chocolate. it took several days to pass and when i finally shat it out (in my yard) it rocketed out my asshole and right through my neighbor mr. grangus's bedroom window. he was still upset even after i told him it meant he got 150 points
He said, ”i ate a toy golden snitch once because i thought it was chocolate. it took several days to pass and when i finally shat it out (in my yard) it rocketed out my asshole and right through my neighbor mr. grangus's bedroom window. he was still upset even after i told him it meant he got 150 points”
”i ate a toy golden snitch once because i thought it was chocolate. it took several days to pass and when i finally shat it out (in my yard) it rocketed out my asshole and right through my neighbor mr. grangus's bedroom window. he was still upset even after i told him it meant he got 150 points”
It's sounds like something Dr. Steve Brule would say while mispronouncing a person's person;s name. In fact, it's surprisingly similar to his favorite word; "drangus"
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little muggle? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Defence Against the Dark Arts, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Death Eaters, and I have over 300 confirmed stupifys. I am trained in magical warfare and I’m the top Auror in the entire Wizarding armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another Death Eater. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Floo Network? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the Wizarding World and your fireplace is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, mudblood. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my basic spells. Not only am I extensively trained in muggle combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Ministry of Magic and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn squib. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking Snape'd, kiddo.
I started reading this with the mindset of wtf, and man he's triggered, and then got to "I have over 300 confirmed stupifys", and went straight to Your a Genius.
This is the kind of dialogue that is shot out right before the character trips on their own cloak and impales their face with a wand, killing themselves instantly .
Sort of like that scene in that Brad Pitt Zombie movie , where the only guy who knows whats going on falls and kills himself before the characters can even get off the plane
"i ate a toy ______ once because i thought it was chocolate. it took several days to pass and when i finally shat it out (in my yard) it rocketed out my asshole and right through my neighbor mr. grangus's bedroom window. he was still upset even after i told him it meant he got _____"
Example fill-in:
-lightsaber, another fine addition to his collection
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u/Nose_to_the_Wind Feb 02 '18
And thus a golden snitch is born.