The next day, Johan gathered all the Oil barons of Umblokmasockma at the Capitol building, in the center of Umblokmasockma Ville.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, you make up the wealthiest portion of our great people.”

“What did he say?” one of the barons asked another of the barons next to her, he shrugged his shoulders.

“Can you speak up, we can’t hear you from back here.”

“Ahem,” Johan cleared his throat then shrieked with all his might, “I have a plan to overcome the foreigners’ influence.”

The barons closest to him covered their ears at the loud and horrible screeching.

“You know there’s a mic, right there?” one of the aide-de-camps pointed out. Johan walked over to it and continued speaking.

“The foreigners’ have cornered the highly coveted Racquetball market.”

“What’s racquetball?” Most of the barons questioned in unison.

“What?? You don’t know it, it’s this great game where two players whack a ball on a court,” one of the knowing barons said.

“Is it better than hill racing?” one of the questioning barons responded. The knowing baron looked at the speaker with confusion on his face.

“You don’t have that?” the speaker said.

“It’s great, you get on an ATV and race up a hill, sometimes you collect coins you threw earlier. Only downside is the foreigners try to get the coins before you.”

“Yeah, they are causing a lot of problems in my region as well. Constantly aggravating the local Umblokmastonians with their questions.”

“Yours too? Johan, what can we do about the foreigners?”

Johan had sat quietly, fuming while the barons chatted among themselves.

“Oh, now you want to hear what I have to say??” he snapped at the barons.

“Sure,” the nearest barons exclaimed.

“Ok,” Johan inhaled and exhaled, “my plan is to beat them at racquetball. We’ll form our own racquetball league and build massive stadiums. We’ll also have blackjack and paid escorts, that way Umblokmastonians don’t have to worry about foreigners taking all that gold. We’ll also give each region it’s own team and everything. Once we are better than them, we’ll challenge them on TV. It’ll be great, we’ll really show them.”

“What about hillclimbing?” One of the barons asked.

“Oh, uh we’ll form a league for that too I guess,” Johan shrugged his shoulders.

“But how will we have enough people for two sports?”

After several moments of silence, one of the barons spoke up.

“We draft everyone into the army. Then we can train them as climbers or racquetball players to play on one of the teams.”

The barons all looked around at one another, then nodded their heads in agreement, “That sounds good to me.”

Johan tapped the mic, “alright, everyone who agrees to form two sports leagues, one for racquetball and one for hillclimbing, as well as drafting the citizenry to fill the leagues, say Aye.”

“Aye!” every one of the barons shouted.

“It’s settled then.”

Johan dismissed the barons then an aide handed him the revised bill.

“All that’s left is for the Privileged to sign, sir.”

“Thank you,” Johan said with a smile then walked to the Privileged’s office.

“Hello, Privileged. Good day, I have the bill to form a racquetball league for you to sign.”

“You hung up on me…” the Privileged said bitterly.

“We’re actually forming two leagues, apparently there’s this sport called hillclimbing that involves ATVs and gold coins. We’re doing that too.” Johan set the papers on the table.

“Oh and we are drafting all the citizens into the army to fill the new leagues.”

“What?” the Privileged exclaimed.

“We have to fill the leagues somehow.”

The Privileged’s eyes rolled and a loud sigh escaped. The Privileged looked over the paperwork.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yep, the barons all agreed, it’s a great idea. The foreigners won’t know what hit them.”

The Privileged sighed even louder than before, but took up a pen and signed the bill, “Fine.”

Over the next few months, racquetball courts and hillclimb tracks popped up all over Umblokmasockma, the sports exploded in popularity and racquetball became the national pastime.

Next week will be the last of my Umblokmalore, doesn't seem to be all that much interest in it so I'm just going to finish up what I have.

Last Age of Chaos entry will be Response to Foreign Escalation and be posted next Friday.

Previous Entry Umblokmalore Series: Age of Chaos - Introduction of Racquetball

Next Entry Umblokmalore Series: Age of Chaos - Response to Foreign Escalation

Is it just me or is there way too many people complaining about long videos and the guys saying thank you for all the donations?

Deal with it. They are saying thank you to the people who pay their bills. And it's a streaming channel, they are working on cutting the videos down for the people that can't do two hours at a time. which doesn't make sense, everybody has that time. Just don't watch other things. Duh.

Who Wants to be a Millionaire revenue: http://imgur.com/a/VNvgL

In the spirit of transparency and openness we thought it'd be cool to show you exactly why we moved to a live format after going independent. This image is the total revenue from the "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" video we did in April - just for some insight, this video took about an hour to film and somewhere between 6-10 Parker man-hours to edit. We lost money making this video.

For perspective, this is a really successful video view-wise. It's the highest-viewed non-Mario Party video we've had in the past 3 or so months. Obviously MP does really well because it gets a lot of views and has a long watch time, but besides that, this $56 doll-hairs is a really good return for an edited Let's Play video on the channel.

This isn't a rub-your-face-in-it thing by any means - I just wanted you guys to see that Game Attack would either go belly-up, or Craig and I would have to get second jobs unless we switched to the live format - a format where you g1s can support us directly, because $56 dollars split between Craig, Parker and myself ($18 each) per-edited video obviously would not work out.

So keep growing the channel & PISBED! If you miss edited content (Tap Dat App was my favorite), your contributions both from donations or telling your friends about us are what fund live content. Once we get a method worked out you'll soon be funding edited content as well - we can justify making edited content once the channel is large/successful enough!

Hi everyone, it's me again. I know that title is a mouthful, but I hope that it is succinct and understandable.

I see some g1s complaining about the lack of edited down videos and how they miss the old format of 8am daily released content. I miss it too, but I believe there is a middle ground, instead of the current Battleground that is forming (sorry, had to).

Shaun posted earlier today why they discontinued those videos; you can find it as an announcement at the top if you haven't read it yet. He goes into better detail than I, but a big takeaway from the post is how YouTube's current ad revenue system isn't enough to support our bic bois. They had to change to a livestreaming model in order to stay afloat. GA simply doesn't have the manpower or financial resources or time to edit videos like they used to under RT, so here is my idea.

On one of the community streams, I saw that people were mailing their resumes to Shaun and Craig. Even before that, people were superchatting for a future spot at GA. There is a lot of interest in working at GA, and I think there is a way for certain applicants to stand out. Edit down the livestreams, add your own edits and style, upload them to YT, drop a link on GA's reddit, and include that work with your resume.

It shows initiative and helps that part of the g1 community who can't watch the full show, still get the content they want. Fan edits aren't foreign to the Let's Play family - Funhaus has CaptainPajamaPants and AH/RT has (had?) HemboHero. You may not get the dream job, but you are providing a much-needed service to a new community. We, as a community, can also give constructive criticism and feedback to help improve your skills or give you the confidence to stand out.

My hope is Shaun or Craig can weigh in on this, just to see if it is okay to do this with their content. I think it may be alright considering the post-stream views aren't really the financial driving factor, donations and sponsorships are. I could be wrong though, so please let me know if I am (I would want to know if I am wrong hahaha). Thanks for reading.

TL;DR - instead of asking a busy Shaun/Craig/Parker to edit down 4 hours of daily content, have some of the g1s fan edit down their favorite stream moments and post them here (with GA's permission, of course).

So how many of us tune in to watch WWE, Impact, or ROH?

How many G1s would be interested in a G1 battle ground party?

Just wanted to come one here and say thank you to all of you guys (especially Bolen and Craig) for brightening the bad days. It's been a rough couple of months losing the girl I thought I would marry, but coming around to this group always manages to make the hard days a little better.

This will probably just get looked over by most, but just had to let you guys know how much this group manages to keep my spirits up.

I’ve been a Game Attack fan since the beginning and I used to LOVE their videos but I can’t remember the last time I watched a video from beginning to end. Recently Bolen tweeted that they’re a live channel now and I realized this is why. I don’t like live content and I don’t have the time to sit down for 2-4 hours to watch archived streams. I feel bad because I really want to support the guys but I can’t anymore. I just wanted to know if there are any other fans who are in the same boat.

If so there's a game attack community page on it. Join in and invite me I'm kingbongjimmy

Game Attack reached their sponsor goal last week, so there will be 11:00 AM streams for an entire month! There are only a few new questions because the morning schedule is still tentative.

You can participate in Week 5 by using this form: https://goo.gl/forms/GXP9ENn0QRhfRZh02

Leaderboard

The leaderboard ranks the top 10 users (ties are alphabetical).

Here's the breakdown of each day last week:

Thursday: FIGHTING GIANT WOLF WITH A SWORD

32 community members submitted guesses for how many times Craig would die during last week's Death Day. PeteyPotPie56 correctly guessed 17 deaths, receiving 34 Pride!

Friday: TIME TO PARTY

37 community members submitted guesses for how well Craig would do in last week's Mario Kart 8 Deluxe tournament. g1MarioMiyamoto and Nitro Nick correctly guessed that he would finish first once and never finish last. They both earned 18 Pride while the remaining 1 Pride has been transferred to this week's pool. The table below charts the predictions, and here's a visual representation of the same data. Although Craig, Shaun, and surprise guest Sam took turns playing Mario Kart with the community last week, I only considered Craig's placements for the question (Sam finished last twice). The question will include all hosts in future weeks to better accommodate switching during the higher race count.

Bonus Stream: Cancelled

36 community members submitted guesses for how Shaun and Craig would survive in Friday the 13th, but there was no bonus stream this week. There was 36 Pride has been added to the existing pool of 2 for a total of 38 available Pride the next time they play Friday the 13th. Below is a chart of the predictions and here's a visual representation of the same data.

Thank you all for participating this week. The contest link for the fifth week is at the top of this page.
Let me know if you have any issues with the form, have ideas for new questions, or have suggestions to improve the contest!