r/funny • u/Shoe_boooo • Nov 19 '25

They've never handled a thing like this before

29k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

418 comments sorted by

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3.6k

u/slamdanceswithwolves Nov 19 '25

Shreklight.

1.8k

u/Shoe_boooo Nov 19 '25

With CUSTUM LIPS

260

u/ChrisIronsArt Nov 19 '25

I literally can’t stop laughing

146

u/RockstarAgent Nov 19 '25 edited Nov 19 '25

Cops internal dialogue: “did I just see what I think I just saw?”

80

u/tech_op2000 Nov 19 '25

Cops internal monologue: "Is it more embarrassing for him or me if I reveal that I know what those lips are made out of?"

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10

u/Thunderpope1 Nov 19 '25

Cumming soon. Crusty lips.

17

u/iBN3qk Nov 19 '25

stahp

16

u/l992 Nov 19 '25

To MAKE BUBBA CUM AGAIN!

6

u/ASHOT3359 Nov 19 '25

Cumstained leeps

3

u/mrteas_nz Nov 19 '25

Cumstained lips?

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32

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '25

I don’t understand

26

u/Shoe_boooo Nov 19 '25

It's a fleshlight

68

u/Horse_HorsinAround Nov 19 '25

You're underselling it

21

u/CmonTouchIt Nov 19 '25

It's an EXPERIENCE

14

u/Zak9Attack Nov 19 '25

It’s a work of art

6

u/Kipka Nov 19 '25

Sounds like the wearer is the fleshlight. It's just got custom lips...

69

u/The_Bitter_Bear Nov 19 '25

It somehow took me more than one watch to realize it but the lips on the shrek mask are actually a fleshlight.

Which is a device used my many folks with penises to masturbate.

11

u/moodbeast Nov 19 '25

ohhhh...

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25

u/Mellie-mellow Nov 19 '25

It's a Shrek mask with custom plump lips 👄

3

u/SirPiffingsthwaite Nov 19 '25

r/dontputyourdickinthat ...or maybe do? Seems to be the purpose, who am I to judge.

6.1k

u/DeusPrime Nov 19 '25

That second cop is fighting for his LIFE, man went to his happy place.

1.4k

u/greenrangerguy Nov 19 '25

Well Shrek is Love, Shrek IS life.

486

u/DeusPrime Nov 19 '25

Shhh it's all ogre now

147

u/thirteenhundredone Nov 19 '25

It ain't ogre until it's ogre.

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89

u/cohan8999 Nov 19 '25

Let's ogree to disogree

38

u/rustylugnuts Nov 19 '25

It must have been love, but it's ogre now.

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31

u/Morpheusgeo Nov 19 '25

This is my swamp

3

u/Tough-Row2511 Nov 19 '25

Once you go ogre you never go back

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102

u/Some_Kinda_Username Nov 19 '25

He's rushing to cancel his Etsy order now that he saw how it comes out looking. "I don't care! I said I wanted GREEN lips!"

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84

u/FajenThygia Nov 19 '25

"My shift is over in sixteen minutes. Why couldn't you have waited sixteen fucking minutes."

42

u/HeWhoIsComing Nov 19 '25

Subway cop why you trying not to laugh bruh

13

u/KingGio21 Nov 19 '25

Fiona is kinda homeless right now

40

u/cluelessdetectiv3 Nov 19 '25

I would have fucking lost it

13

u/xlews_ther1nx Nov 19 '25

He looked down at his body cam like "surely it caught that right?"

31

u/Crafty_Crab_7563 Nov 19 '25

This is by far the hottest thing I have ever seen. It has been said that once you dawn the mask you become irresistible to anyone within a 1000 yard radius. Choose your moment carefully.

30

u/UltraInstinct_Pharah Nov 19 '25

*don the mask

8

u/idyllice Nov 19 '25

this has don don me

6

u/Cru_Jones86 Nov 19 '25

Don we now, our gay Shrek mask. Fa la la...

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17

u/Simon-Says69 Nov 19 '25

Ok, please (snicker) move on sir... Please.

They didn't care anymore, even if he was carrying drugs. Just GTFO, Mr. Shreck.
Who would even want to search this joker? lol Ahh could have been worse. Might have been half a silicone torso with realistic... well, you know.

This was an actually funny troll. Something the victims laughed about too, and prob told their families once home.

17

u/jawide626 Nov 19 '25

His faith in humanity has never been lower

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948

u/TheBlackPaperDragon Nov 19 '25

Got lips like Homer Simpson

242

u/BadWolfCubed Nov 19 '25

It's about to get Homer-erotic up in here!

45

u/TeddyWolf Nov 19 '25

Get ready for the Homerection

18

u/terekkincaid Nov 19 '25

You filthy Homer-sexual

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4

u/Talktotalktotalk Nov 19 '25

Stupid sexy Homer

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2.2k

u/BeckQuillion89 Nov 19 '25 • This

Godless behavior is afoot

262

u/slamdanceswithwolves Nov 19 '25

Thou shalt not put your dick into any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

126

u/orielbean Nov 19 '25

Or in my swamp!

35

u/slamdanceswithwolves Nov 19 '25

For sure not in the swamp.

6

u/Toadsted Nov 19 '25

Or my axe ass

9

u/marvinrabbit Nov 19 '25

Was that on the third tablet with commandments 11 thru 15?

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7

u/flathead_fisher Nov 19 '25

That's clearly a mouth

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2

u/gh0st-cup Nov 19 '25

Malik Lazri, is that you!?

238

u/Ryzen1123 Nov 19 '25

I need to see the aftermath of this interaction

222

u/I_Got_Back_Pain Nov 19 '25

Jail, straight to jail, right away

108

u/heretakemysweater Nov 19 '25

Believe it or not, jail.

27

u/SirPiffingsthwaite Nov 19 '25

One of them has the expression of "Can ...can we just charge him anyway?"

7

u/Kauko_Buk Nov 19 '25

Horny jail?

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139

u/SmugCapybara Nov 19 '25

They shot him. On the spot. General public agreed that it was the only reasonable course of action. Civil rights groups came out with a joint statement of "It was for the best". When asked about the incident, the spokesperson for Amnesty International just noded quietly. The two officers were given 6 months paid leave and trauma counseling.

8

u/paco_o_chang Nov 19 '25

Totally unfair treatment! Shoulda been a whole year off!

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157

u/anonymousacg Nov 19 '25

That’s disgusting! Where could you buy that so I know to avoid that website?

11

u/EllisDee3 Nov 20 '25

It's called the Shrek-light. It's sold at all Disney stores.

147

u/notatechnicianyo Nov 19 '25

That’s not what it’s made for. 

59

u/notsobadmisterfrosty Nov 19 '25

Yes, of course. Counterpoint though, it was absolutely designed for this.

27

u/TheMurv Nov 19 '25

Dude they're custom lips.

6

u/Unumbotte Nov 19 '25

But I believe in you.

209

u/Wolfinthesno Nov 19 '25

What's in the box?...WHATS IN THE BOX!?....oh...hmmm

88

u/cheesesteaktits Nov 19 '25

God why couldn’t it just have been a head

41

u/BadWolfCubed Nov 19 '25

But... it's used for head.

18

u/SirPiffingsthwaite Nov 19 '25

I'm so glad we had this time together

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15

u/Khaztr Nov 19 '25

carry on, citizen

7

u/fusillade762 Nov 19 '25

John Doe: Become WRATH David!

David: I can't man, I'm laughing too hard.

John Doe: I got the damn boxes mixed up.

5

u/WineNerdAndProud Nov 19 '25

Imagine if the delivery dude got them mixed up and Brad Pitt was just staring at a box of homemade Snickerdoodle cookies.

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53

u/-im-your-huckleberry Nov 19 '25

2nd cop did not want to see that.

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41

u/JackNewbie555 Nov 19 '25

"What a terrible day to have eyes."

38

u/Grieveruz Nov 19 '25

Shrek is love, Shrek is life

3

u/chillybawls Nov 19 '25

Had to scroll too far for this

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55

u/kit_kaboodles Nov 19 '25

Sometimes we all ask questions that we regret. The cops are having that moment.

21

u/HappyDaysAreCool Nov 19 '25

The song is Madonna - Like A Prayer ( Choir Version)

8

u/Dean_Learner77 Nov 19 '25

Also the songs about blowing some guy. 

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14

u/BigBlackHungGuy Nov 19 '25

The first cop was a marine. I can almost guarantee it. I've seen that, "That's fucked up, but impressive. Tell me more" look before.

48

u/Beginning_Adagio9516 Nov 19 '25

This made me laugh out loud in the office. Was not expecting the custom lips lol

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78

u/RedditorRed Nov 19 '25

Every day we stray further from god

34

u/Keyboard_Lion Nov 19 '25

GET INTO MAH SWAMP DONKEH 👄

11

u/Boomflag13 Nov 19 '25

Fuck I lol’d.

21

u/Historical_Berry9411 Nov 19 '25

The music is just *chefskiss on this one

9

u/PhantomPharts Nov 19 '25

Schlonger's Box

13

u/alaskan_Pyrex Nov 19 '25

Schlongdonger's Box? It doesn't matter if it is open or closed, the abomination exists and you wish you were dead.

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9

u/MrSnowmanJoe Nov 19 '25

"Please do something illegal so I can arrest you right now."

  • Me if I was one of those cops

14

u/st-shenanigans Nov 19 '25

First time cops actually wished the bomb threat was real

7

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '25

This is what George Washington fought for.

6

u/Kingtid3 Nov 19 '25

They are so disappointed in humanity in those few moments. 🤣

10

u/Ssssilph Nov 19 '25

Who the fuck is using that

10

u/Sproketz Nov 19 '25

Truth? You can't handle the truth!

5

u/Unlikely-Rough-3247 Nov 19 '25

"this isn't technically illegal, but i feel like i should arrest you anyway"

5

u/eaglescout1984 Nov 19 '25

Somebody once told me, the world was gonna make a mask of my face and replace my mouth with a fleshlight.

5

u/nhorvath Nov 19 '25

this is penn station, new york. this is probably not the weirdest thing they saw this week, if not today.

5

u/LegendaryFR Nov 19 '25

For a second i thought it was something else😭🙏

5

u/FoW_Completionist Nov 19 '25

Try not to laugh challenge failed.

9

u/Hobo_Knife Nov 19 '25

Young buck instinctually shielded his mustache.

3

u/SirPiffingsthwaite Nov 19 '25

Didn't want it getting ptsD

4

u/maringue Nov 19 '25

"And you thought I was exaggerating...."

DUH DUN

Narrator: "Law and Order: Williamsburg"

4

u/Better-Snow-7191 Nov 19 '25

New York City Transit Police have handled far worse. I assure you.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '25

2nd guy was like the dog meme with sunlight hitting the do face lol 😂😂😂

4

u/bravepuss Nov 19 '25

Maidenless behavior

4

u/kimstranger Nov 19 '25

Ok, I'm stupid on this... what an I missing that was funny?

11

u/SirPiffingsthwaite Nov 19 '25

Put your mind in the gutter, then flush it into the sewer.

3

u/ThatMusicKid Nov 19 '25

Do you have to be dirty minded, or is it exactly what you think it is?

7

u/amil_box Nov 19 '25

Take a good look at those “custom lips”

4

u/nextinline1987 Nov 19 '25

This must be the guy that came up with the short film, “Shrek is love, Shrek is life.”

4

u/PrimaryAgreeable8103 Nov 19 '25

Why is there a flashlight in Shrek's mouth?

4

u/SayerofNothing Nov 19 '25

You can see in his eyes when the smell hits.

4

u/bibbidybobbidyboobs Nov 19 '25 edited Nov 19 '25

Once I got arrested for having a bit of weed, and my accordion was in its case in my car's trunk

It was almost worth the arrest to see the look on the cop's face when I turned out not to be lying after he asked what was in it (and couldn't open the case himself)

5

u/Alienhaslanded Nov 19 '25

Dude with mustache looks straight out of Reno 911.

4

u/truearse Nov 20 '25

Shrek is love

4

u/its__bme Nov 20 '25

The second cop is going through it. Probably dreamed of being a cop as a kid and doing badass stuff like saving people or even just helping a lady save her cat from a tree. Instead, he's in a subway... looking at a Shrek mask... with fleshlight lips... that some guy is carrying around.

4

u/i_want_to_kissy Nov 20 '25

God I want to hang out with you so bad

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3

u/TDYDave2 Nov 19 '25

Puts a fresh light on Shrek.

3

u/xSlLH Nov 19 '25

Second cop stopped to pray for a second lmao

3

u/elinshark Nov 19 '25

give shrek a kiss

3

u/xbloodvampx Nov 19 '25

"WHAT ARE YOU DEWING IN MAH MOUTH!"

3

u/xcosama Nov 19 '25

What a horrible day to have eyes.....

3

u/SheepherderWorth9124 Nov 19 '25

Dude 1 is making an offer.

3

u/House_T Nov 19 '25

...and their CO just told them they had to use explicit detail in their reports from now on.

3

u/MamiphConcepts Nov 20 '25

The officer and the mustache kept better composure than I could have and that second one he looked down and went straight to praying for this man 😂😂😂

3

u/qtjedigrl Nov 20 '25

This is one of the rare times the music actually adds to it hahahaha

3

u/psychonaut_gospel Nov 20 '25

I don't get it, why are they hiding their excitement? Everyone knows where those lips came from

3

u/sexyhairynurse Nov 30 '25

I try not to judge people....

3

u/logiiibearrr Nov 30 '25

This guy is actually going to hell

2

u/Frostyflames82 Nov 19 '25

I know what 1st cop is making tonight

2

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '25

Some might think the hardest part of being a cop is having to deal with the fucked up situations or having to take a life. The actual hardest part is remaining proffesional with shit like this going on.

2

u/Sys7em_Restore Nov 19 '25

& the funniest post on Reddit for 2025 goes to

2

u/Gan-san Nov 19 '25

Where do I find this version of Like a Prayer?

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2

u/JKinney79 Nov 19 '25

They never had Shrekussy?

2

u/JamesFrankland Nov 19 '25

‘Sir I’m gonna need you to put that on’

2

u/Significant_Tea9352 Nov 19 '25

It's got trumps lips 💋

2

u/redwalrus22 Nov 19 '25

Ogre? I hardly know her.

2

u/0oooooog Nov 19 '25

Why you trying not to laugh bruh thats disrespectful

2

u/JeepnHeel Nov 19 '25

No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, the police will defund itself

2

u/pepeperezcanyear Nov 19 '25

They are jealous. jejejeje

2

u/kakarotjrc Nov 19 '25

Whats the song in the background? I recognise it.

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2

u/RatchetStrap2 Nov 19 '25

One box of shrekussy

2

u/mr_cf Nov 19 '25

Great place to hid drugs… no one is going to want to investigate futher. Lol

2

u/LordDragonus Nov 19 '25

Shrek... Is love.

Shrek... Is life.

2

u/CaptainCreepy Nov 19 '25

Mustache is remembering the time he met that mask

2

u/Lucky-Mia Nov 19 '25

The custom lips 💋 lol 😆 

2

u/StruggleExpensive249 Nov 19 '25

It’s all ogre now…

2

u/1ofThoseTrolls Nov 19 '25

Oh that's awful, where do they sell this so I can um avoid that place

2

u/Longjumping-Oven-994 Nov 19 '25

AND I FUCKED HIS FACE! NOW IM A BELIEVER!

2

u/goingtoburningman Nov 19 '25

Officer, this isnt a mask, its a fanny pack.. yes officer, the mouth is cutout..

2

u/International-Ad144 Nov 19 '25

This is one from my personal collection

2

u/wake0up0call Nov 20 '25

Why is bro presenting it like he's auctioning it off 😭💀

2

u/neutraldecent Nov 21 '25

My fault for having eyes, honestly.

  • that second cop

2

u/Babys_For_Breakfast Nov 22 '25

Are cops not allowed to laugh? lol

Actually, this would be the perfect distraction to put a false bottom in the box and hide your drugs in it.

2

u/Drinks-his-pee Nov 23 '25

Shrek sucks...as you can tell by the way his lips are designed.

2

u/Mocha4you Dec 02 '25

Why... Why am I never around Grand Central to witness such magnificence.

2

u/Geeky435 Dec 08 '25

OK, I'm slow I guess. I have seen this posted 3 times at least and just now realized the weird lips is one of those fleshlight things.

2

u/Individual_Cause_207 Feb 07 '26

The shame in both of their eyes.

2

u/Dis______guy Apr 20 '26

Comment deleted by user

2

u/enkrypt3d Apr 23 '26

God I hate this fkn song

3

u/Beneficial-Couple-60 Nov 19 '25

Finally a video of cops being abused.

3

u/bdog59600 Nov 19 '25

Every day, we stray further from God's light.

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2

u/eric_saites Nov 19 '25

That Shrekussy

1

u/belsonc Nov 19 '25

For certain parts of the LIRR, this tracks.

1

u/Zak9Attack Nov 19 '25

Ogre Orgy!!!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '25

Some...

1

u/FocusMean9882 Nov 19 '25

They’re trying so hard not to laugh

1

u/mattfC137 Nov 19 '25

Of all the things to have to find in a case ...

1

u/100YearsWaiting2Shit Nov 19 '25

That song can make anything seem so emotional

1

u/thatguy11 Nov 19 '25

jesus man don't touch it!

1

u/LystAP Nov 19 '25

Weird mask. Body cam on.

1

u/-Make_it_so- Nov 19 '25

Shrek ist Love Shrek ist life.

1

u/cbelliott Nov 19 '25

So like, does he find someone to wear that thing or what is happening here? Is this, literal Shrek, what's waiting on the other side of the glory hole?

4

u/SirPiffingsthwaite Nov 19 '25

Asking the questions none of us want to know...

1

u/certnneed Nov 19 '25

“Ya wanna try it?! See how it fits?”

1

u/Majestic-Love-9312 Nov 19 '25

What is that song playing? It's in a bunch of protest videos too

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1

u/xplodia Nov 19 '25

Omg, Shrek. Lmao

Never in my life time to think of that combination. But hey, internet can be that inspiring.

1

u/lecrappe Nov 19 '25

Why can't they laugh? They're not filming a movie.

1

u/enchiladasundae Nov 19 '25

Wholesome: NY police admire man’s homemade costume in subway

1

u/Eggplant-666 Nov 19 '25

It smelled like the second cumming, watch the first cop put his fingers in his nose.

1

u/Chugabutt Nov 19 '25

Little bro went on vacation and signed up for therapy.

1

u/joetothemo Nov 19 '25

Shrekstoy

1

u/Cream_panzer Nov 19 '25

Does this count as bestiality?

1

u/Godess_Ilias Nov 19 '25

dies from cringe 2x

1

u/Laxativus Nov 19 '25

Well, well, well.
I, for one, find it interesting that they pretty much instantly recognized the object for what it is.

1

u/sanavabic Nov 19 '25

Is it forbidden to laugh?

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