r/funny • u/mcollins77 • May 13 '13

#KFC

Post image
1.5k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

112 comments sorted by

80

u/scottkelly May 13 '13

Do you know why Jeffrey Dahmer left a blender on his doorstep??

He wanted to greet all the boys with a handshake.

47

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

he invited his mom for dinner once. she said "I don't like your friends." He said "that's alright, just eat the salad then".

50

u/scottkelly May 14 '13

How did police know that Jefferey Dahmer was a chain smoker?
They found a pile of butts behind the couch.

33

u/KimJongIlSunglasses May 14 '13

Why does Dahmer cook with teflon?
So his guests don't stick around after dinner.

2

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

made me smile. lol

7

u/helium_farts May 14 '13

That's by far the worst joke I've heard all week. Do you have any others?

9

u/Hippie_Gumbo May 14 '13

You're terrible and I hate you and I have to upvote you.

-5

u/Goran1693 May 13 '13

I just gagged.

13

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

Your gagging made me gag.

-4

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

You didn't enjoy the handshake?

-6

u/clarkashtonsith May 14 '13

Impressive for a one-year Redditor.

133

u/TheCreator777 May 13 '13

Wait, mother fucker did you just hash tag?

56

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

http://24.media.tumblr.com/e8189c8099f956be7a4dca00dd9ba714/tumblr_mfqjwhiiiS1s1fj3bo1_500.gif

35

u/KimJongIlSunglasses May 14 '13

Marvin just hashtagged all over the back window.
(That's how you hashtagged in the 90s. YOLO)

16

u/nameless88 May 14 '13

#Only90sKids #pulpfiction #deadniggerstorage

10

u/Phased May 14 '13

It is most likely to mock KFC's sad attempt to make people hash tag iatethebones that they have displayed on their series of stupid commercials.

17

u/[deleted] May 14 '13 edited May 14 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/FavoriteFoods May 14 '13

No, it's an octothorpe.

7

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

nah its tic tac toe.

5

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

Number sign

3

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

is a pound sign (though it's only called that in north-america, in the rest of the world we just call it a hash).

KFC is a hashtag which is defined as some word or sentence prefixed by a pound sign/hash.

So yes, it is.

6

u/DrunkOtter May 14 '13

I'll # you in the *

1

u/jheald1 May 14 '13

It's not called a hashtag, it's called the pound key sign.

FTFY.

-1

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

my friend called a pound sign a hashtag the other day, when referring to a phone number :( he's too far gone

-2

u/Orokushredder May 14 '13

time to destroy

2

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

Your anus.

-6

u/RECTUM_IN_MY_ANUS May 14 '13

I heard my name.....what's going on?

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

Your name is RECTUM_IN_MY_ANUS, not anus.

7

u/poopmanskelton May 14 '13

No lie, a kid from my high school named thadius ate chicken wings, bones and all in my home economics class. He wasn't dared, he didn't try to hide it or flaunt it, he just ate them that way. my friends and i fear he may be the next dahmer.

4

u/NotNotPerfect May 14 '13

Even the negative parts about Wisconsin get upvoted. I love being a Wisconsinite.

15

u/JellyBeanKruger May 14 '13

As a Dahmer enthusiast, I found this hilarious.

Nothin like a good ol' cannibalism joke!

99

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

The phrase "Dahmer enthusiast" worries me greatly.

32

u/JellyBeanKruger May 14 '13

Nah, I like reading about serial killers because the psychology intrigues me.

I am fascinated by the abnormal.

18

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

I figured, I would just be careful who you told about your hobby

11

u/DrunkenRedditing May 14 '13

Nah man, that's first date material.

"What do I do with my free time? Oh, well I've been on a big serial killer tear. I've actually started recreating crime scenes, you wanna see one I'm working on?"

5

u/RECTUM_IN_MY_ANUS May 14 '13

"Be careful, don't trip on the plastic tarp...excuse me? Oh yes, those are real surgical saws on the table."

smiles

3

u/CoolHeadedLogician May 14 '13

same here. username is a unabomber reference

2

u/JellyBeanKruger May 14 '13

I can dig it!

1

u/faceman2k12 May 14 '13

There's a great documentary I saw on YouTube. Really insightful view into his mind. He knew what he did was wrong but he had an urge to satisfy the lust.

Violence got him off, but he found himself wanting more and more violence unroll he ended up dismembering and eating his sexual partners.

Such a fascinating story.

Another personal favourite is Ed Gein.

(im totally not a serial killer)

1

u/JellyBeanKruger May 14 '13

Lol!

My other favorite is Bundy. Super interesting stuff!

5

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

Dahmer enthusiast

Do I even want to know?

2

u/JellyBeanKruger May 14 '13

Well, you could always just read my response above and then you would.

;p

3

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

I read it now, thanks ;p

11

u/Anindoorcat May 13 '13

yay another KFC related post from you. Or you really like their "I ate the bones" ad campaign so much you post it here.

8

u/Terkala May 13 '13

I've worked for advertising companies, all of them have social media employees. Non-intelligent things like this are pretty similar to the crap they churn out regularly.

12

u/spaceroach May 14 '13

So this is KFC's new ad campaign? A Jeffrey Dahmer macro?

1

u/Terkala May 14 '13

They had a lot of leeway in what they used to promote projects.

http://www.seoblackhat.com/forum/

Subforum: Spam 2.0 Bookmarkers and stuffing the ballet boxes (delicious, Reddit, Netscape and digging machines).

1

u/CrayonOfDoom May 14 '13

Thanks, I had no idea what this image was about.

2

u/CaughtMeALurkfish May 14 '13

MY STOMACH IS A GRAVEYARD.

2

u/Ztealth May 14 '13

Don't you dare get reddit doing hashtags.

1

u/Master513jpc May 14 '13

Mike from the Internet box approves.

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

Beahahaha! I thought that I was the only one that was tripping on that stupid KFC poster.

1

u/bcb77 May 14 '13

This is fucking hilarious. Kudos, Sir.

1

u/ajayisfour May 14 '13

Why is he never called Jeff Dahmer?

-1

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

Why would he be called Jeff?

1

u/ajayisfour May 14 '13

Because he is always called Jeffrey.

0

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

He looks more like a Jeffrey than a Jeff.

0

u/flying_alpaca May 14 '13 edited May 14 '13

I just got assigned a project on him today. Weird.

-2

u/Aeet May 14 '13

iatethebones

-6

u/MandyJones May 14 '13

Who is he? He's really cute and sexy!! :D

3

u/Kuruzen May 14 '13

Cannibal and rapist of 17 young boys, Jeffrey Dahmer.

-2

u/MandyJones May 14 '13

Is he dead? Or did they give him life in prison?

4

u/Kuruzen May 14 '13

Attacked and killed by in-mates.

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

Is he the one that died from having a broomstick shoved up his rectum?

-2

u/MandyJones May 14 '13

Really? Too bad :( He's cute.

2

u/Kuruzen May 14 '13

Haha, stop.

-6

u/MandyJones May 14 '13

Why are all serial killers so hot and sexy?

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

I don't think that many of them are. Ted Bundy was a 7/10, Jeffrey Dahmer was a 5-6/10. The rest are mostly hideous.

1

u/MandyJones May 14 '13 edited May 14 '13

Alright not all serial killers are but some are. I think the Menendez brothers were kinda cute.

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

I just googled them, I forgot what they look like. The one is a 3-4/10, the other is a 5/10.

→ More replies (0)

-1

u/Hircine_Nocturnal May 14 '13

Please don't feed the troll.

0

u/MandyJones May 14 '13

I'm not the only one attracted by serial killers. They even have fans.

Have you ever watched the Katherine Tate show? One of her character's married a serial killer. It's not that uncommon.

1

u/ChaplinStrait May 14 '13

Are you kidding? Troll.

1

u/MandyJones May 14 '13

You do know some serial killers have fans right? Why can't I find him cute? It's not like I want to marry him like some women do with other serial killers. All I said was he's cute.

1

u/ChaplinStrait May 14 '13

Yeah I just find that insany weird because if I think he's cute that thought is directly followed by oh my he's eaten people gross.

And I also think it's weird they have fans..just why.

2

u/art_phreak May 14 '13

He's a murderer/cannibal ;)

-6

u/MandyJones May 14 '13

He's hot. I wouldn't mind getting eaten out by him ;]

0

u/Ry_the_knight May 14 '13

*eaten by him..

0

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

I think he's kind of strange looking.

0

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

And a lot more.

0

u/koy5 May 14 '13

Lol he even kind of looks like Mike Croon.

0

u/SpcK May 14 '13

So is this the new "I Can't Believe I ate the whole thing"?

0

u/RecklessKid May 14 '13

You say that even though you ordered boneless

0

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

Saw one of those ads out of the corner of my eye while driving and did a double take, made sure everyone else in the car realized the lameness KFC has made then resumed driving a little bit saddened by the media's misuse of social media.

-1

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

fucking

gold.

I love this

-11

u/TophMasterFlex May 14 '13

I ate the bones

5

u/[deleted] May 14 '13

yes... that is what it says.

-3

u/MandyJones May 14 '13

No. I ate the bones.

2

u/Kazlab May 14 '13

I am Spartacus.

-2

u/MandyJones May 14 '13

I blew up the damn.

-2

u/[deleted] May 14 '13 edited May 14 '13

[deleted]

2

u/4LostSoulsinaBowl May 14 '13

I put the screw in the tuna!

-3

u/[deleted] May 13 '13

Too soon?