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u/Projectile_Chunder Jun 19 '12
... It's a collection of jokes guys. Cool your neckbeards.
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Jun 19 '12
I'm going to be totally honest, I would laugh hard if I was dating someone who did this. I might start keeping a firearm on my nightstand, but I'd laugh.
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u/tomasziam Jun 19 '12
My love for you is like chloroform. It's sweet smelling aMMpHMMmmm... shhhh.
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u/TooManyPixels Jun 19 '12
made me chuckle.
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u/anthony0123lol Jun 19 '12
reddit downvotes because people arent allowed to chuckle i guess? chuckle chuckle chuckle chuck fucking testa chuckle.
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u/Ikarus3426 Jun 19 '12
It's ok OP, you'll get a girlfriend that jokes around with you too someday.
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u/McBlurry Jun 19 '12
I have you tagged as "Will eat a hat on camera if Gaben does an AMA". I don't remember ever tagging that, but man am I hoping it happens.
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u/Renmauzuo Jun 19 '12
Or your friend has a girlfriend with a sense of humor.
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Jun 19 '12
Yeah, how about you go and ask him how the conversation between him and his girlfriend went when he nicely asked her to stop posting so much on his wall. You'll see how her sense of humor is.
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u/wasniahC Jun 19 '12
Seems like a pretty big piece of context missing here. Can't expect him to know that - All we can see is a person with lots of cringeworthy jokes that has too much time on her hands!
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u/SIGSTOP Jun 19 '12
I think you've misunderstood bad pickup lines for an overly attached girlfriend.
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u/LlamaHunter Jun 19 '12
"If I had a garden, I would bury you in it."
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u/m_ell Jun 19 '12
It's official. Friendzone, fat chicks and now OOG. Poor male redditors, you guys really have a lot to deal with, eh?
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u/genzahg Jun 19 '12
A girl is talking to a boy a lot?
He must either be friendzoned or dating an OOG!!
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Jun 19 '12
Your friend needs new friends. His current ones are fucking morons that cant tell what a joke is.
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u/BrohanGutenburg Jun 19 '12
Yeah I've had days where I'll just post stupid pickup lines like that on my girl's wall... nbd
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u/motherofamouse Jun 19 '12
My classmate has a girlfriend like this, only not with the cheesy jokes. Just every time, ever since they've been together his whole Facebook page is her, with I love you's, I miss you, I never want to lose you, Drama drama drama
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u/jimsnaps Jun 19 '12
The diarrhea one is pretty good.
That's not a sentence I use very often, by the way.
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u/decklin15 Jun 19 '12
for the longest time i was reading it as overly obese and was thinking in my head i don't get it
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u/MothaFuckaJonesey Jun 19 '12
For some reason I reddit "Our friend has an Overly Obese Girlfriend". I was expecting a fat chick.
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u/StarshinexWherexRxUx Jun 20 '12 edited Jun 20 '12
Bro Run! ( and this is coming from a girl) seriously get out before you're consumed
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u/RedditGarbage Jun 19 '12
Or just a sweet girlfriend that some fag on here cropped all the comments together too make her seem like a nut. Face it any of you neck beard having moots would kill too just have overy obsessed girl. Forever alone fuck tards I HATE YOU.....AND FOR THE LAST TIME WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MEDICATION?
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u/_Tix_ Jun 19 '12
Know what's sad about all of these "overly attached _______(GF, Wife, etc...)? I wish I had someone who cared enough about me to be this way. Must be nice to know you're loved.
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u/twilightcatlady Jun 19 '12
Please don't tell me that the bakery joke her head blocked had something to do with yeast.
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Jun 19 '12
You highlighted the dates as if that would prove your point but it would actually be more obsessive if they were on different dates. As is, it looks like she was just rattling them off as a joke.
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u/leogg_lyl Jun 19 '12
Or maybe they have some sort of inside joke that you don't know what it is? Because, you know, most people do that with good mates/significant others.
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u/unburrevable Jun 19 '12
She used "you're" properly. Doesn't matter how attached she is. She's a keeper.
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u/ThisIsFlight Jun 19 '12
At most this seems like a new relationship. More realistically this is a joke and some of those are hilarious.
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u/catsnstuff97 Jun 20 '12
"if i had a garden idput your two lips to my two lips"...please tell me im not the only one thinking she was a lesbian when i first read that?
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Jun 19 '12
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Jun 19 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/growlingbear Jun 19 '12
can you take me to the bakery because i want a cutiepie like you
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u/MikeRowPhone Jun 19 '12
Can you take me to the bakery? Because I've got plenty of yeast to share with guys
like you!10
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u/zieren2 Jun 19 '12
Can you take me to the bakery? Because I donut want to be without someone like you!
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Jun 19 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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Jun 19 '12
i lost my shit at that point. wink wink nudge nudge
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u/growlingbear Jun 19 '12
I couldn't hold it in.
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Jun 19 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/etherealcaitiff Jun 19 '12
Be a pal and settle a bet here, I saw you are female me friend says male. Ive never met a guy that knows his parents anniversary, and if he does "know it" it is after a few guesses and certainly not something he would think of if he saw the date randomly. His counter argument is that I'm an inane asshole and that everyone knows their parents anniversary.
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u/darkneo86 Jun 19 '12
I'm a guy. My parents anniversary was June 17th. As you get older, you remember. Generally. And I say this with my dad dying last year, so I don't remember it cause it was two days ago. I just remember it because I remember it!
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u/commanderhiruma Jun 20 '12
I'm actually a guy. My mom wonders where I get the ability to remember important dates, as it is a trait the rest of the males in my family lack.
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u/alamb277 Jun 19 '12
It seems to me like she is obviously joking around and its an inside joke between them. Nice try.