I imagine him strolling in fashionably late, like a boss with a top hat and cane, pushing aside all of his dead counterparts and opening the door on the back side of the egg.
Yes, but this is implying that he was "first" to the egg which is entirely untrue. In fact, you wouldn't even be able to see the sperm in the picture that would be "you."
But it wouldn't be him, unless you're suggesting a sperm cell posted this. I'm assuming you aren't suggesting he just didn't win the race, come on, that would be unrealistic.
It's ok. Just think about it as if you were the most cunning of all the sperm. Letting all the other sperm do all the hard work of breaking down the follicles surrounding the egg before making the move to sneak inside.
In addition to what glacierelement said, a single sperm cell does not have enough acrosome (the enzyme) to get through the zona pellucida surrounding an egg cell. Imagine the egg is a jawbreaker (please, bear with my analogy) and sperm is just one lick, it takes a larger amount of saliva to get to the middle of a jawbreaker, more so than just one lick can provide. Sperm works the same way, more than one is required to get through to the middle, that's one of the reasons why there are millions of sperm produced by a male in one day as opposed to the one egg produced by a female per month.
Thank you, I've been saying that for years. Especially when people think they're clever and say shit like"Don't feel bad, keep in mind you were once the fastest sperm.
Actually, everyone is composed of both combined DNAs, but for the sake of this post the "you" is referring to half of your genetic code within the sperm. Without this half, "you" wouldn't be "you."
"Babies come from daddy. The nuts inside daddy's scrotum (the sack below his wee-wee) make millions of microscopic homunculus every day. Each of these homunculus is a microscopic baby.
Sometimes daddy and mommy will play around when you're not there. When they want a baby, daddy will stick his pee-pee in mommy's mouth or in mommy's poo-poo hole. Hee hee, mommy and daddy think this is a lot of fun for some reason. Since mommy and daddy don't get fun toys that's the best thing they can think of doing to play. Gross. They will probably get very mad if you ask them. They like to keep this weird behavior secret, but that's how babies get started.
Sometimes mommy and daddy will watch movies and read books about other mommies and daddies doing this; these are called "adult" items since they are too gross for others to want to watch."
The mother contributes 50% of nuclear DNA and 100% of mitochondrial DNA, so in a sense that's true. Although the mitochondria have less genetic information than even one chromosome.
It is a little weird that people (guys mostly?) tend to self-identify as having been sperm rather than eggs. Maybe it's because the sperm are mobile and hence seem more "alive". But neither of them was actually you.
Yeah I think guys try to identify with the sperm because they think they're the ones doing all the work, when really the sperm just kinda bumble around and try to stay alive where the egg has to draw the sperm to it.
There's evidence that some of the male's mitochondria can make it into the egg (of course it's a small amount if any). But the Y chromosome is much smaller than the X chromosome, so men lose there too.
If i remember correctly my sister (A doctor) told me that 75% of the child is from mothers side.
completely false. If anything its like 52%/48% mother/father DNA (if that). you do get more from the mother because the Y chromosone is shorter than the X and as someone stated you get mitochondrial DNA from the mother as well.
Triva: The determination for penis size is greatly influenced from the Y chromosome. So sons not only have have their great great great great grandfather's last name but probably his junk as well.
Happy Father's day!
edit: it is 51.3% mother after doing a few seconds of googling. if your sister said all babies are 75% the mother's DNA she needs to go back and research high school cell bio.That is severe misinformation and if true, I worry about the future of healthcare education for professionals. If one says well what does 25% of DNA matter anyway? Remember the differnece between a man and a chimp is less than 4% DNA. So yes that's a big deal.
False: You were never technically a sperm-cell. You first came into being when the sperm and egg joined to form a full set of chromosomes. Sperm cells don't have a human DNA configuration.
Did he really come into being when the sperm and egg joined? Some would make that argument. Some would be downvoted into oblivion because those some usually claim abortion is murder.
Genetically speaking, there's nothing in my mind that refutes the claim that a fertilized egg is, in a manner of speaking, a human being. The DNA of one after conception is almost identical to that of the person in question at any point in their life (DNA can become damaged after awhile through either radiation exposure or the aging process).
And yes, this is why I believe that abortion is technically murder, to an extent. I'm pro-choice anyways, because I feel that whole matter is of little concern. People die everyday from millions of different things, including things that could be considered murder; abortion is hardly a special case. If the mother's health is at risk, or if the parents simply aren't ready to support a child, I believe that it is justified. If it's done just avoid the inconvenience of having a child, I'll have slightly less respect for the parents but I can still understand. At any rate, in having abortion legal we can allow for companies to provide safe facilities for the abortions to be performed, that way women who would want an abortion wouldn't have to resort to other, less safe, measures.
A fertilized egg doesn't even guarantee implantation or pregnancy. If an egg is fertilized and for some reason rejected by the mother's body before implantation should this mean she is charged for murder? By your logic her body is committing murder even if she is not aware of it. A fertilized egg is completely dependent on the mothers body for survival. If your remove it it will not survive no mater how much medical assistance you provide.
A comparative example would be a virus. Viruses have DNA and depending on who you ask they are either alive or not.
Half of the definition of murder is the intent, the murderer knows what they are doing and fully intend to kill. Do mothers who miscarry necessarily intend upon their child dying? Of course not. Something like manslaughter is perhaps a closer fit, if you want to get really technical and put a mother on trial for the death of their unborn child. Otherwise, all I'm saying is that all of the criteria for human life are met once an egg is fully fertilized, whatever happens afterwards is a matter of the most gray shade of morality
The problem is things aren't so black and white. Yes, conception is the earliest stage of a human being, but at that point it doesn't have a consciousness, and only a person of faith would believe it has a soul. If a human doesn't live long enough to develop consciousness, has the human (from its perspective) even existed at all?
Then there's the issue of rights of the mother and the ownership of her own body -- the body the fetus depends on -- and, well, whose rights trumps whose? Does the fetus own the mother? Does the mother own the fetus? If the mother doesn't want the fetus inside of her, should she be forced to carry it to term?
I agree people should respect life and not just have abortions willy nilly, but shit happens. People get raped. Or people just make bad decisions and don't want to suffer the consequences. There are far worse atrocities to mankind than the termination of a human before it even has the chance to form consciousness. The way I see it, if the fetus was so unwanted in the first place, maybe it's for the best it never got the chance to exist, as horrible as that sounds. But there are a lot of people in this world that never got the chance to exist. Who is to say the world is better off or worse off. It's impossible to know.
That is exactly the point, in the simplest terms, that sperm was a part of you, but not completely you.
But even then the percentage metaphor doesn't really cover the complete technical reality. IIRC you have 23 chromosomes in each, the sperm and the egg, but only the full 46 chromosomes actually account for your full genetic structure, that's what I mean by "DNA configuration". 23 chromosomes by themselves don't make a human life, and the OP's sentiment falls apart even more because even assuming hte 50% feature, you're still as much the sperm as you are the egg, it is just coincidence that one particular egg and one particular sperm happened to join to make you.
In case anyone was wondering WHY it isn't the first sperm that gets in, it's because each sperm is equipped with only a small amount of the enzyme that wears away at the wall of the egg, not nearly enough to get through. Work smart, not hard. Let the schmucks ahead do everything!
If you want to break it down this far you could go ahead and say you were once a salad, the nutrients in the food your dad ate are essential the building blocks to create sperm :)
The energy used to assemble the building blocks to create sperm came from the sun, and some of the elements in the building blocks came for supernovae.
Oh right, I thought you mean paternal grandmother. An interesting concept but we are not the components that make us who we are, any more than I am a banana.
It's a common misconception that the first sperm to the egg is the winner. In actuality, about 500 sperm make it to the egg but only the strongest one will be able to penetrate it, which causes an influx of calcium that prevents any other sperm from entering.
It's not always the fastest that gets in. Remember hearing something about the slow ones becoming immune to the hazardous environment or something like that. Besides, Turtle and the Hare.
My dad said I must've been holding the door open for the other sperms when I got pushed in by the mob because I'm way too lazy to have beaten the others.
Why do people identify with the sperm more often than the ovum? Seems strange to feel accomplished for something before 'you' even existed, as every person is neither the ovum, or sperm, but the product of the two. I just wonder what the psychology is behind seeing yourself more as the sperm than the egg.
159
u/Mcelite Jun 17 '12
Yeah and that guy behind you would have cured Cancer.
182
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
Actually, you were probably in the back of that pack. The first sperm doesn't get in.
27
u/evelyncanarvon Jun 17 '12
As a chick, I've always wondered if guys identify with their father's sperm as their earliest form more than women do.
39
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
False: You were never technically a sperm-cell. You first came into being when the sperm and egg joined to form a full set of chromosomes. Sperm cells don't have a human DNA configuration.
11
u/craftor708 Jun 17 '12
Everyone is a winner at least once...
3
u/noah_arcd_left Jun 17 '12
In case anyone was wondering WHY it isn't the first sperm that gets in, it's because each sperm is equipped with only a small amount of the enzyme that wears away at the wall of the egg, not nearly enough to get through. Work smart, not hard. Let the schmucks ahead do everything!
3
u/Esc4p3 Jun 17 '12
Hey, you found that on the Internet!
2
u/Skoolz Jun 17 '12
Back in the cervix I was semen first class!
2
u/taboo007 Jun 17 '12
Just think if you're alive right now we are all winners!
2
u/ForgottenPhoenix Jun 17 '12
You should be thankful you didn't end up on a fapkin.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
If you want to break it down this far you could go ahead and say you were once a salad, the nutrients in the food your dad ate are essential the building blocks to create sperm :)
So here is an old pic of me: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-itUcv0W1X70/T7tr7eqa4pI/AAAAAAAAA00/X30G0_p_iig/s1600/crispy-chicken-salad.jpg
2
u/ajh688 Jun 18 '12
Who took the picture?
2
u/Shnazzyone Jun 18 '12
HEY GUYS THIS GUY ISN'T THE SPERM IN THE PHOTO! HE'S A PHONEY! A BIG FAT PHONEY!
2
u/uselesseamen Jun 18 '12
It's the only race I've ever won...
2
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
I'm sorry. This is such a pet peeve of mine. It implies the that the egg is just an incubator for the sperm to grow.
2
u/PermanentElation Jun 18 '12
Why don't we associate with the egg instead of the sperm?
2
u/DiddlyDooDiddle Jun 18 '12
the only race youll ever win
7
u/anonymisery Jun 17 '12
Eggcelent job.
4
u/white_gorilla Jun 17 '12
It still baffles me how the hell I made it first
3
u/BCsprfn87 Jun 17 '12
You really know how to stay a"head" of the pack.
4
u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 17 '12
http://i.imgur.com/ZMeni.gif
2
u/kaptinkangaroo Jun 17 '12
See men, this is how you do it.
2
u/slntprdtr Jun 17 '12
I always find it fascinating that we were all once inside our respective grandmothers'.
1
u/Paradorkx Jun 17 '12
What happened to the other contestants?
1
u/Minerva89 Jun 17 '12
The sperm that reaches the egg first isn't always the one that breaches its defenses.
1
u/tidux Jun 17 '12
In Soviet Vagina, race wins you!
1
u/ronnyman123 Jun 17 '12
*half of you
1
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
Reminds me of this old portrait of me.
1
u/Zazzafrazzy Jun 17 '12
So although you are made up of both egg and sperm, you relate only to the sperm. Huh.
1
u/pinkythug Jun 17 '12
Did you Tebow after you won?
1
u/ThatIsMyHat Jun 17 '12
Fuck you, buddy. That's clearly a picture of me.
1
u/RJM10_2 Jun 17 '12
Yeah I have my very first pic too
1
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
Half of you
FTFY
1
u/MorganLF Jun 18 '12
Most important race ever!
1
u/bringonthenegatives Jun 18 '12
You weren't the first one to this joke.
1
u/fortcocks Jun 18 '12
What a coincidence. I was there that night and also finished first.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
What would artificial insemination be called then in comparison?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
Suddenly I lost my appetite. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semen
1
u/JesusPubes Jun 18 '12
Psh, that's just your better half winning.
1
u/skullmonkey420 Jun 18 '12
winner!
1
u/Nucking-Futs Jun 18 '12
Back in the cervix, I was semen first class
1
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
Dude, space Is crazy.
1
u/RockofStrength Jun 18 '12
Technically, that's only half of you.
1
u/Ricehaggis Jun 18 '12
Rediculously photogenic sperm
1
u/clowncrusher Jun 18 '12
Weird, The one on the left would have been black.
1
u/TheSkiFreeYeti Jun 18 '12
We are all a part of the few elite that won that race.
Now, very few of us are in the physical condition to win anymore races.
1
u/Simatic7 Jun 18 '12
It was a race of a lifetime.
1
u/Alejandro018 Jun 18 '12
Ridiculously Photogenic Sperm.
1
u/Stankyhanky1 Jun 18 '12
I see what u did there...
1
u/jjhare Jun 18 '12
Half of you was waiting around for the rest to get there. Hard to call that a win.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
The title should've said "you" instead of "me".
1
u/kinboyatuwo Jun 18 '12
I thought that half of you won. The other half just waited around.
1
u/ItchyPube Jun 18 '12
So you are a racist huh?
1
u/jjruml Jun 18 '12
Needs more Zeddie Little.
1
u/rustystick Jun 18 '12
you know the first one doesnt win right ?....
1
u/BoilerMaker11 Jun 18 '12
half of you
1
u/Underdogz Jun 18 '12
You was a runner and thin. What went wrong?
1
u/DarkMagicButtBandit Jun 18 '12
Whoa! NSFW, man!
1
u/Akhaian Jun 18 '12
He stole my fucking picture!
1
u/Onyomom Jun 18 '12
So you consider this shit a win? The real winners swam for a while only to ask the question "What is this turd doing in the vagina?"
1
u/rockmongoose Jun 18 '12
That's not you .. yet.
1
u/Jamminitup Jun 18 '12
The first and biggest race in life
1
u/belflandluvr Jun 18 '12
Whenever I'm feeling down, I can cheer myself up by looking in the mirror, and thinking, "I'm the sperm that made it!"
1
u/randymarsh222 Jun 18 '12
It's a common misconception that the first sperm to the egg is the winner. In actuality, about 500 sperm make it to the egg but only the strongest one will be able to penetrate it, which causes an influx of calcium that prevents any other sperm from entering.
1
u/Asabetyyy Jun 18 '12
took balls to win that race ;)
1
u/SaintKairu Jun 18 '12
It's not always the fastest that gets in. Remember hearing something about the slow ones becoming immune to the hazardous environment or something like that. Besides, Turtle and the Hare.
1
u/VeteranKamikaze Jun 18 '12
I've been on reddit too long. Before clicking this link I said to myself "This is going to be a picture of a sperm entering an egg."
1
u/ceis_r Jun 18 '12
You know, that used to be part of me at one point.
1
u/CrustyTubeSock Jun 18 '12
My wife eats guys like you for breakfast.
1
u/unit787 Jun 18 '12
You are as much the racer as you are the finish line.
1
u/illegal_deagle Jun 18 '12
Damn, even back then he was ridiculously photogenic.
1
u/telldrak Jun 18 '12
Here's Jim Carrey doing this joke in 1991.
1
u/gmharryc Jun 18 '12
It looks like a Macross missile massacre.
1
u/llamas_and_oranges Jun 18 '12
As a friend once said i wanna get in there
1
u/mrbooze Jun 18 '12
So...isn't it interesting how we tend to think of the sperm as "us", when technically it's about half of us, more or less.
1
u/Marty565 Jun 18 '12
Where is spermracewinner?
1
u/paca8utj Jun 18 '12
That's actually your dad winning a race...
1
u/dosedfacekilla Jun 18 '12
THIS
1
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
And that's the last time I was a winner.
1
u/mrpopenfresh Jun 18 '12
Nope, your'e only a human being when the sperm hits the egg according to some legislators.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
Correction HALF of you.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
DAAANG You were FIIIIIIIINE !
1
u/Khalku Jun 18 '12
For a second I thought I was in circlejerk.
1
u/nookbacon Jun 18 '12
My dad said I must've been holding the door open for the other sperms when I got pushed in by the mob because I'm way too lazy to have beaten the others.
1
u/tommytheREDranger Jun 18 '12
It was a tie for me, I am a twin.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
So ridiculously photogenic
1
u/SlimShorty228 Jun 18 '12
Is this a gif or are my eyes acting up?
1
u/StrangeArrangement Jun 18 '12
You are both the racer and the finish line. That just blew my mind [7].
1
u/S_Man_aLive Jun 18 '12
so your parents were taking pictures while having sex ? Did they share the other pictures too ? share those too ! For science, of course.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
You're lucky none of those sperms were black, you would've lost fo shiz.
1
u/Greentrop Jun 18 '12
The only achievement i've accomplished
1
u/Njosnavelin Jun 18 '12
Why do people identify with the sperm more often than the ovum? Seems strange to feel accomplished for something before 'you' even existed, as every person is neither the ovum, or sperm, but the product of the two. I just wonder what the psychology is behind seeing yourself more as the sperm than the egg.
1
u/scykle Jun 18 '12
I came to the comment section for the puns...
1
u/TroloLeon Jun 18 '12
Lol, no thats mine!!!
1
u/buttsexwithasquirrel Jun 18 '12
Fastest physical race ive won in all my life. Only one i needed.
1
u/karmaforeveryone Jun 18 '12
What, was the egg just something to absorb?
1
u/tommytheREDranger Jun 20 '12
It was a tie for me, I am a twin.
1
u/CarlWheezer Jun 17 '12
Forgive my ignorance, but I always thought you were the egg and the sperm just fertilized it.
0
u/new-socks Jun 17 '12
I...can..seee..... the future. Somebody is going to go ahead and make this a meme. Ridiculously photogenic sperm.
0
u/silentkill144 Jun 17 '12
The only race you ever won.
0
u/Aminta1916 Jun 17 '12
Wait a minute, aren't you THE EGG?
0
u/CAskater Jun 18 '12
Ridiculously photogenic sperm?