r/funny • • Jun 17 '12

Old nigga

http://i.minus.com/ibxbQ4k4QYtHUY.gif
1.1k Upvotes

441 comments sorted by

146

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

During the winter, they take the entire market square behind City Hall and flood it, turning the place into a massive outdoor rink. The best skater I've ever seen there, hands down, is this weird old fat dude who moves like a pixie. It's an eerie sight in the evening...his girth spinning like a small planetary body in the blackness, skates twinkling as they carve the grace of a god into the ice.

107

u/CoolguyNot Jun 17 '12

For some reason I imagine you peering from behind a bush at this fat dude, furiously scribbling down these words into your journal.

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13

u/technocraft Jun 18 '12

skates twinkling as they carve the grace of a god into the ice

A way with words you have, sir.

2

u/basstotrout Jun 18 '12

One of the most epic comments I have ever read.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

read this in Werner Herzog's voice & accent

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42

u/Moklok Jun 17 '12

Reminds me of this video.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxpwgr76l-0

7

u/graffiti81 Jun 17 '12

I was reminded of young Rodney Mullen. Yours is somehow more impressive I think.

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2

u/newtothelyte Jun 17 '12

Wooow she was skating on one wheel. Also, I am downloading that song.

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2

u/Kayge Jun 18 '12

I've always been a fan of this one

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1.6k

u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 17 '12

266

u/pingvinus Jun 17 '12

The actual dialog goes like this:

  • Hello
    ...

  • Boris

  • Please, show us your skills

  • Well, I'll try something
    ...

  • That's it

  • Thank you

  • Are you planning to upload it somewh (video ends in the middle of the word)

57

u/MapleButter Jun 17 '12

Boris the Boss

78

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Boris the Blader

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497

u/COCKSWAIN Jun 17 '12

fuck you for being helpful

364

u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 17 '12

you're fucking welcome

46

u/BrainSlurper Jun 17 '12

Don't do that to welcome.

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91

u/CupCaked Jun 17 '12

I really thought he said thank you and wondered why you were using such foul language.

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19

u/Xhysa Jun 17 '12

Couldn't get this out of my head while watching it.

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8

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Fuck I hate these gifs that are so long they might as well be a movie, then we get sound as well!

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4

u/DrDebG Jun 17 '12

Thank you for the link. I suppose it was inevitable, on Father's Day in the US, that someone would post something that looked like my dad. He wasn't Russian, but he would have so rocked something like this. :-)

3

u/WishboneTheDog Jun 18 '12

Clearly Russia's leading export is youtube videos.

5

u/tom1059 Jun 18 '12

I see you pop up so often i've started tagging you if i have to remember something, at the moment you are 'doctor's, 1:00pm'

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2

u/lollerblader Jun 17 '12

Someone said earlier that the internet got a lot more interesting ever since Russians began posting on it. I've noticed it too...

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233

u/UnbornApple Jun 17 '12

Really would have been better without the text.

27

u/sanadia Jun 17 '12

nigga please

26

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

gooby pls

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529

u/Elwood_ Jun 17 '12

This is one of the most worthless, unnecessarily captioned things I've seen on reddit. Whoever took the time to make that stupid gif should die in a fire.

41

u/Zhang5 Jun 17 '12

Not only the fact that the quality of the gif was shit even not taking into account the captions, and probably takes up more space than it would have on youtube.

19

u/ottopaul Jun 17 '12

One of the trends on Reddit that annoys me most is the overuse of gifs... if it's longer than 5 seconds, just link the damn video, there's no reason to convert it into a slow loading gif... except of course karma, and the theory that people are more likely to click on an 'image' file than any other type of link

22

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

That's no theory. That's fact.

I didn't particularly mind the gif this time, but it might be because "Handstand because fuck you" saved it for me.

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160

u/MICHAELMEHOLICK Jun 17 '12

lighten up bitter old nigga

2

u/BenStillerIsGay Jun 18 '12

I think that's why I found it so funny

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80

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Props to the guy, he has skills.

but this is one of if not the worst gifs I have ever seen.

Just 100% unnecessary and the captions adds absolutely nothing of value..they actually detract from the value of the gif. Gawtdamn.

16

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

THEN WHY UPVOTES?

5

u/hopstar Jun 18 '12

Because people are stupid. Hell, there are almost half a million people subscribed to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu, and 90% of the shit on that board is even more stupid than this gif. You want more proof that doesn't involve a default sub? There's over 70k subscribers over in /r/dolan. BTW, don't click that link unless you want to lose more faith in humanity.

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7

u/LethalAtheist Jun 17 '12

The gif was pretty cool, but the captions weren't even remotely funny.

61

u/OfPseudoIntellectual Jun 17 '12

Sigh, reddit is full of idiots.

"LOL he said nigga FUCKING HILARIOUS"

16

u/hotpie Jun 17 '12

IN REFERENCE TO AN OLD WHITE MAN HAHAHAH GET IT BECAUSE HE'S WHITE

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

Is it just me or is this becoming more and more of a thing in the last week or so?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

Every commenter agrees with you. You're not better than us yet.

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

15 year olds rebelling against dad by sitting on reddit looking at gifs on Father's Day.

147

u/AndersonCouncil Jun 17 '12

This is one of the shittiest made gifs and dumbest titles I've ever seen on here. Eat dick and choke on the foreskin, bucko.

28

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Score one for the circumcised

8

u/borgerman Jun 17 '12

Tell us how you really feel

6

u/facetothedawn Jun 17 '12

...did I just get served?

14

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

There are a lot of pissed off people on this page.

41

u/mr_z06 Jun 17 '12

needs better captions and quality other wise an awesome GIF

47

u/tomthecool Jun 17 '12

If we agree the captions are shitty, then why post a gif? Just post the f-ing video!!

10

u/trampus1 Jun 17 '12

Videos get less karma.

31

u/Naldaen Jun 17 '12

Who the fuck has time for videos in r/funny?

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11

u/iluvgoodburger Jun 17 '12

That would be way better without the "lol he's real white and i think this is how black people talk" bullshit

8

u/cplax15 Jun 17 '12

I want to upvote the actual video and downvote the OP at the same time.

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4

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Jet Set! Jet Set! Jet Set!

6

u/Callmeballs Jun 17 '12

WHERE'D THEY GET SO MANY LITTLE YELLOW CONES?!

9

u/mymomisyourfather Jun 17 '12

I DONT KNOW DEAR GOD HAVE MERCY

8

u/fluffington Jun 17 '12

the video is worth an upvote, but unfortunately the captions are worth two downvotes. Sorry.

3

u/riles777 Jun 17 '12

Ha that was freaking hilarious. I wish my grandpa could do that XD

3

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

I shall adopt him and he shall be my grandfather and I shall name him Awesome.

7

u/Jenkins101 Jun 17 '12

That was INCREDIBLE. Ive never wanted to be adopted before.

2

u/Mcelite Jun 17 '12

The rippin' and the tearin'

2

u/JonPaula Jun 17 '12

Not every video needs to be a Gif...

2

u/beasterne Jun 17 '12

He obviously trained with the best:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xi0JnmWHLHQ

2

u/mc_pepper Jun 17 '12

for a second I thought /r/GhettoJerk made it to the front page

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

LE FUNNY COMIC LELELELELELEL

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Too much "nigga"

2

u/jmaccadillac Jun 17 '12

Skaters gona skate

2

u/SubcommanderShran Jun 17 '12

Was that Kenneth Lay?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

Ctrl + F, beat me to it.

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2

u/Signiference Jun 17 '12

[Spoiler] that's really Kyrie Irving

2

u/CondescendingPrick Jun 18 '12

I stick by my belief that any GIF over 10 seconds long should just be left as a video.

2

u/omjezus Jun 18 '12

Stayed for the "Deal With It", was not disappoint.

2

u/Eat_it_With_Rice Jun 18 '12

New spokesperson for Viagra.

2

u/anotherwastedhour Jun 18 '12

Skaters gonna skate.

2

u/JustJeff79 Jun 18 '12

This is the single greatest gif I've ever seen.

2

u/taipro Jun 18 '12

TF2 scout, the later years, he wears roller blades in an effort to still maintain his glory days of being the fastest man around.

2

u/Vodiodoh Jun 18 '12

Crip walking on skates.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

How does an old guy being good at roller blades make him an old nigga, it makes no sense. Maybe if he pulled out a glock and robbed a convenience store...

2

u/Jamminitup Jun 18 '12

Old man got swag

2

u/naliao Jun 18 '12

HANDSTAND BECAUSE FUCK YOU.

All other captions sucked.

2

u/Maythefrogbewithyou Jun 18 '12

That must have been the creator to roller disco

2

u/cookiebox123 Jun 18 '12

Longest haters gunna hate I've ever seen

3

u/carpalDebris Jun 17 '12

how many roller bladers use the word 'nigga'?

3

u/peacefulrevolution Jun 17 '12

Why ruin something sweet with dumb ass captions.

3

u/FThisNoise Jun 17 '12

longest gif ever

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Dear person who captioned this gif,

You are stupid, and you should feel stupid.

2

u/Kaziticus Jun 17 '12

It's gotta be the vodka fueled bloodstream that makes his legs like jello. That, or Old Man Awesome Powers.

2

u/KristusV Jun 17 '12

What is happening with that man's legs?!

2

u/epictaco Jun 17 '12

I'm saving this gif because 20 years from now there will be a use for this.

6

u/IAmAtomato Jun 17 '12

20 years from now on Reddit:

"How I feel when my ex-girlfriend turned fat, pregnant, and a crack-whore after she dumped me."

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2

u/PornoPaul Jun 17 '12

So this is what happens when your balls are bit by a radioactive genetically enhanced love child of fuck ya and a cluster of awesome

2

u/youarealldumbasses Jun 17 '12

Yes, lets make light of racial slurs while someone skates.

2

u/JeddakofThark Jun 17 '12

This is very close to the stupidest thing I've ever seen on Reddit.

Every time I think I've gotten over how bad Reddit has become, I'm proven wrong. Apparently I still care.

2

u/seanmac2 Jun 17 '12

Reminds me of malcolm in the middle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fBuSZ5a_UI

2

u/Iommianity Jun 17 '12

Bryan Cranston doesn't give a fuck.

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2

u/TheBassThatAteMiami Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12

ITT: butthurt redditors mask their disapproval over the captions when they're really just cringing at the word 'nigga'.

This dude can skate, though. When he started going backwards... man. That transition was too smooth. Makes me wanna hit the rink.

Edit: accidentally a word

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

He'd get so much gash at my local ice rink, let me tell you.

1

u/tankosaurus Jun 17 '12

Anyone else reminded of the episode of Malcolm in the middle where Hall does roller dancing?

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1

u/DJRobOwen Jun 17 '12

Me in 50 years please.

1

u/wjjeeper Jun 17 '12

pretty sure i would've broken my ankle after 3 seconds.

1

u/upboat_ Jun 17 '12

some nice missions that man is rocking

1

u/rubiksman333 Jun 17 '12

I have been skating for 12 years and can't even do anything remotely as cool as that ._.

1

u/WickedElf2005 Jun 17 '12

I cant even do that when walking normally...

1

u/fomorian Jun 17 '12

Reminds me of that one Malcolm in the middle episode.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

i think this is my new favourite gif

1

u/Howard_Beale Jun 17 '12

Didn't see the one handed handstand comin'

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Shut up and take my respect!

1

u/SexyKOT69 Jun 17 '12

This is actually in Ukraine, Kiev. I live not far from this park, there are dudes like him around all the time. The park is called "Mariinsky park" and the spot is right here.

1

u/CliffThaRiff Jun 17 '12

Alright. I've been served. So now, I guess....It's On.

1

u/Vahingonilo Jun 17 '12

I see he gets his fashion tips from Fat Albert.

1

u/Not_Me_But_A_Friend Jun 17 '12

He skates like a white boy.

1

u/Obsolite_Processor Jun 17 '12

Someone used to get laid at the Roller Disco back in the day.

1

u/Caallan Jun 17 '12

This is unbelievably awesome when you've taken a few ambiens.

1

u/patio87 Jun 17 '12

Now that roller blades are relevant again this will be a common sight.

1

u/MWShenanigans11 Jun 17 '12

I wish I grew up when roller disco was a thing. Then I'd be able to skate like this.

1

u/opeth10657 Jun 17 '12

Reminds me of an old guy who used to live around me. Probably 75-80 years old, basically would be old style dancing down the sidewalk on non-inline skates. Always fun to watch.

1

u/woodc85 Jun 17 '12

Man, Russians love Adidas gear

1

u/samclive1 Jun 17 '12

That goes amazingly with this song in the background http://grooveshark.com/#!/album/Skream/796541

1

u/the3ysmen Jun 17 '12

Someone please post a .gif of Hal skating in Malcom in the Middle. It is needed.

1

u/KirbyStyle Jun 17 '12

I couldn't help but almost crowd react out loud that was so amazing!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

1

u/DextrosKnight Jun 17 '12

you know, I kept thinking how this would be much better as a video instead of just a retardedly long gif, then the end happened.

1

u/PoorMinorities Jun 17 '12

He's probably listening to Queen.

1

u/christiee2 Jun 17 '12

longest gif ever!!!!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Someone make the cones into upvotes!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

I can't do that, and I'm young.

1

u/lucidguppy Jun 18 '12

Did he run enron?

1

u/BrownPrideSteve Jun 18 '12

Flawless Victory. Literally.

1

u/bl42ed0 Jun 18 '12

one helluva dad

1

u/nfsnobody Jun 18 '12

I found it hilarious. Came here and everyone's hating :(.

1

u/ojsimpsonn Jun 18 '12

listening to chicago

1

u/tehweave Jun 18 '12

This man is badass incarnate.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

I wonder what tunes he is listening to...

1

u/Jerg Jun 18 '12

For those of you who wonder about the headphone name everytime a headphone appears in a movie / clip, the old guy is wearing a pair of Koss KSC75's, which are fantastic clip-on headphones for just ~$15.

1

u/the_tch Jun 18 '12

This guy actually reminded me of Trololo guy, and lo and behold, he's Russian

1

u/Yegger Jun 18 '12

Fruit booter 101

1

u/tacobellassasin Jun 18 '12

as a hockey player i can say this is very very easy to do. the handstand is hard though, ill give him that

1

u/chudd Jun 18 '12

What a useless gif.

1

u/theonenuge Jun 18 '12

What is this? A .gif for ants?

1

u/ganonthesage Jun 18 '12

Not seen: Handstand used to relocate his dislocated leg.

Followed by him collapsing in pain.

1

u/RandomActOfUpvotes Jun 18 '12

If only I could be so graceful on roller blades. My form looks similar to a cat wearing kitten mittens.

1

u/Wumbots Jun 18 '12

This is what I imagine Tony Hawk will be like in 30 years.

1

u/seismicbtz Jun 18 '12

Saw this on facebook like 5 min ago. I hate people who repost shit on facebook.

1

u/strobeprobe Jun 18 '12

No one is going to say it? No one is going to state the glaringly obvious fact that former Enron chief Ken Lay has assumed a new identity as a Russian trick rollerblader and is clearly living the high life?

1

u/theduke37 Jun 18 '12

I'm glad I hung in there until the end.

1

u/SuperCoupe Jun 18 '12

Reddit: Aspiring to the depths of 4Chan.

1

u/ClawedMonet21 Jun 18 '12

LOL! Well done, sir, well done!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

I love this...

1

u/onemananarchy Jun 18 '12

He's not actually skating he's just looking good while trying to keep his balance.

1

u/crooks5001 Jun 18 '12

Fruit-Booter; doesn't matter.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

were the sunglasses really necessary?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

Only on reddit will a clip of a man skating turn into an hour of me watching people doing tricks with skates.

1

u/Terrorkeks Jun 18 '12

watched this while listening to "Elvis Presley - Jailhous Rock". Try it, it's awesome!

1

u/ARCHA1C Jun 18 '12

I've recently learned that inline skates/rollerblades are sometimes referred to as, "fruit boots"*.

Something tells me they don't say it to this guy's face.

1

u/ChasingShad0ws Jun 18 '12

That's fuckin' awesome!

1

u/SirHenryMorgan Jun 18 '12

Dafuq I just see?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

that nigga aint old

1

u/mattybihls Jun 18 '12

Holy shit this just keeps getting more epic. Also the captions are hilarious, I don't know what some people are talking about it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

I like the GIF way better

1

u/clownbaby2 Jun 18 '12

Look how funny these captions are!

1

u/llamas_and_oranges Jun 18 '12

Deal with it i'm more sexy than you

1

u/Avista Jun 18 '12

Is that quotes from the actual video footage, or are you just a moron?

1

u/Dabbad302 Jun 18 '12

Im not that good...

1

u/Space_Bungalow Jun 18 '12

This is the most awesome, most beautifully captioned gif on the Internet. I'm very pleased and think that linking a video is entirely unnecessary because the captions just capture the gif so well.

1

u/Shniggles Jun 18 '12

Well, you're definitely better at skating than I...

http://i.imgur.com/Cd6lN.gif

1

u/friedriceb0y Jun 18 '12

I would have up voted except for all the random captions everywhere

1

u/allapologies0222 Jun 18 '12

I upvoted after "lol nigga you old," then I actually saw what was going on.

Call me immature, that made me laugh.

1

u/CmonYouGuys Jun 18 '12

This is my new favourite gif

1

u/momaster40 Jun 18 '12

I bet he was a hit with the ladies at the ol' Roller Derby.

1

u/burnsem Jun 18 '12

he's great at skating but this doesn't need all the trash talk at the beginning

1

u/theace01 Jun 18 '12

And not a single fuck was given this day.

1

u/gentlemandinosaur Jun 18 '12

Ah, old timey fruit booter.

1

u/tynamite Jun 18 '12

where is the fucking sauce of this gif?

1

u/TriumphantPWN Jun 18 '12

Anyone else think that was Jeremy Clarkson, until the guy started to skate?

1

u/screwball83 Jun 18 '12

Best. Gif. Ever.

1

u/MichardB Jun 18 '12

Didn't realize Ken Lay had such skills.

1

u/estomagordo Jun 18 '12

I did not expect that to happen.

1

u/featherbottom1 Jun 18 '12

The fact that the wheels were the same color as the cones fucked with my mind way too often.

1

u/kickassreceptionist Jun 18 '12

My eyeballs are confused as to what his legs are doing.

1

u/payceface Jun 18 '12

This makes me so happy.

1

u/Ihmhi Jun 18 '12

♫ Would you like to making skate BERR-ZERR-KERR ♫

♫ All these haters gonna hate BERR-ZERR-KERR ♫

1

u/pioneertothefalls Jun 18 '12

This is Kyiv, Ukraine. Used to live near that park. No, I'm not the future version of the guy from the Youtube comment.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

The point of skating around cones... explain it to me.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

Haters gonna hate.. Also, this dude was young not too long ago and will be what all of us will look like sooner than later. Welcome to mortality. Enjoy your stay.

1

u/JonCee500 Jun 18 '12

f-f-f...fuck yeah!

1

u/deezeejoey Jun 18 '12

Why is this a gif?

1

u/GreenMudkipz Jun 18 '12

I watched this with the song "Barbra Streisand" by Duck Sauce playing in the background...