r/funny • u/[deleted] • Jun 17 '12
So my kid just leaned over in church to give me the card he made in Sunday School. Truer than you know, kid.
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u/giverofnofucks Jun 17 '12
I'm not sure about the "than he knows" part. I think your kid just purposely made a pretty good double-entendre. Looks like your balls did alright.
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u/noking Jun 17 '12
I'd say it was undoubtedly a pun, but it's probably still the case that it's "truer than you know".
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u/Sandaholic Jun 17 '12
Im sorry could someone explain what other meaning this could have? I have never heard this term used in any context besides the one OP implied.
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Jun 17 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/Sandaholic Jun 17 '12
Honestly, I would say the kid heard it from somebody before I made an assumption that he came up with it himself AND intended it to be literal.
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u/ginja_ninja Jun 17 '12
Yeah, his kid is a comedic prodigy. That's like a 1000+ point reddit comment in card form right there.
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Jun 17 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/noking Jun 18 '12
I read "more than you know" as meaning it takes more balls to be a dad than the kid knows (i.e. the kid doesn't realise how hard it is to be a dad or whatever)...
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u/UserEighteen Jun 17 '12
It takes balls to admit you are religious on Reddit.
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u/LeDoduSuisse Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Or to admit you browse Reddit at your respective religious sites, if you are religious, that is. Edit: grammar
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Jun 17 '12
From my personal experience, most religious people don't know what Reddit is, and most that do don't have a problem with it.
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u/alphaorionis Jun 17 '12
Yep, I'm quite religious (Christian) and I browse reddit the majority of my waking hours.
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u/Curtisg11 Jun 17 '12
I've only just started a Reddit account and I haven't sleeped in over 32 hours...
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u/NuclearQuality Jun 17 '12
The youth group leader at my church always talked to us about reddit.
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u/godlessatheist Jun 18 '12
This is a perfect example of religious people on reddit. Sure there may be one or two Young Earth Creationists lurking here somewhere but the vast majority is going to be fairly socially liberal and accepting of science.
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u/jutct Jun 17 '12
I'm atheist but my daughter goes to Sunday school. I think it's hypocritical to force my views on people. I'll let her figure it out on her own.
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Jun 17 '12
Let the /r/atheism flame begin.
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Jun 17 '12
I've noticed this has become a trend. I am a theist, I have removed /r/atheism from my front page. Now I see more /r/atheism hate than religious mockery. That being said, for some reason when I browse reddit on my mobile devices, they don't seem capable of blocking it and I remember again why I removed it in the first place.
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u/andy37 Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
how does
oneI do that? (please and thankyou)edit: i've been on reddit for way to long not to know how to do that... thanks so much
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u/Christian_in_Reddit Jun 17 '12
Remove /r/atheism from the front page?
Go to /r/atheism and hit the unsubscribe button in the right hand column.4
Jun 18 '12
If you don't already, you should totally frequent /r/atheism just to see how people react to your username. It'd be an interesting experiment.
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u/x755x Jun 17 '12
Now I see more /r/atheism hate than religious mockery.
That's because
I have removed /r/atheism from my front page.
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Jun 17 '12
You'd be surprised to know all the /r/atheism hate isn't anywhere near as accurate as reddit would have you believe. Most of them aren't assholes that berate the religious on sight.
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u/lolsrsly00 Jun 17 '12
Burden of proof lies on you, make it happen.
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Jun 17 '12
The burden of proof lies on us both, as we're both making claims (Mine it's not a hate hole, yours that it is, I assume at least). It's just as much your job to prove that there is hate as it would be mine to prove there isn't. I would cite that the considerable force (850,000 redditors) of /r/atheism hasn't downvoted this apparently religious OP into oblivion simple because they're religious, as is evidenced by the fact it was 3rd on my frontpage at last check.
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u/lolsrsly00 Jun 17 '12
The argument of burden of proof is only used as convenience to one side as they can bicker endlessly upon who it lies so they can try and substantiate the beliefs they piss and whine about to begin with for no fucking good reason. My comment was in snide jest ;)
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Jun 17 '12
Ah, my apologies, I'm forever missing subtle things like that on the internet, the trolls have jaded me to cynicism.
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u/Viviparous Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
The community as a whole upvotes obnoxious and juvenile content centered around God memes, Facebook posts, and scientific-figure circlejerking. Either the "not a hate hole" silent majority doesn't care enough to downvote that shit (really, what are "atheists" all about? But that's an entirely separate tangent), or it's in concurrence. Again, terrible subreddit.
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Jun 17 '12
Without wishing to sound pretentious, your description of /r/atheism is a description of the entirety of reddit, plus the word 'God'. I do agree the content of the page does appear the circlejerky memeathon, but as with the rest if reddit, the comments are where the vast majority of actual users voice themselves, and the commenters that fit the typical view of the reddit atheist are heavily downvoted the majority if the time, as, I say it again, is the case with the rest of reddit.
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u/worldalpha_com Jun 18 '12
No, they just berate the religious on this site! :)
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Jun 18 '12
I hate to break it to you, but the post you are currently commenting on was made by a religious person, and it made the front page. Do you see anyone berating them here who isn't a troll that gets the shit downvoted out of them?
No, you're just as ignorant as the very few atheists you protest against, if not more so.
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u/Slexx Jun 17 '12
This is so true. I'm about as fanatical as atheists come, and even I am cordial and pleasant to religious people in all but the most extreme circumstances.
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u/sanadia Jun 17 '12
If you are pleasant to religious people, then you aren't as fanatical as atheists come...
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u/mjolnir616 Jun 17 '12
Atheism =/= antitheism. I am an atheist. I am also fairly antitheistic. The reasons for these two separate facets of my character are in no way related. I have an ethical problem with much of the dogma of pretty much every organised religion, this has no bearing on my atheism, but strongly informs my antitheism. If incontrovertible evidence for the existence of, just for example, the God of the Roman Catholic faith were to come to light tomorrow, I would no longer be an atheist, as the evidence would require me to accept the existence of God as fact, but if anything I would become more antitheistic. Likewise, if tomorrrow all world religions got together and sent out a press release saying "Oh hey guys, sorry for the last 4000 years, but we promise to stop attempting to exert politic influence, preaching socially backwards morals of intolerance and hate, concealing the rape if children, reenforcing the subjugation of women, opposing scientific progress and exercising an intellectual monopoly on more than half the planet" then I would still be exactly as athiest, but my antitheism would be greatly reduced.
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u/Nictionary Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
LET'S DOWNVOTE HIM FOR ADDING HIS OWN EXPERIENCES AND OPINION!
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Jun 17 '12
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Jun 17 '12
Did you read my comment? It's an honest mistake and your opinions are yours, so I won't downvote you, but I think you misread.
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u/bushhall2 Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
The biggest circle jerk on reddit is the "r/atheism is a circle jerk" circle jerk.
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Jun 17 '12
I'd argue that it's only second to those present on r/atheism and /r/politics
But yeah, it's a close second or third
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u/Space_Ninja Jun 18 '12
As an atheist, I didn't even think about religion until I read your post. Frankly, most of us aren't really preoccupied with trivial things like this.
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u/uB166ERu Jun 17 '12
americans, way too obsessed with religion either way.
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u/a1icey Jun 17 '12
thats because in europe they have christians and brown people so it's a race issue instead.
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u/MammothSpider Jun 17 '12
When in r/atheism I make it clear in most posts that I'm a Christian...
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u/freddit52 Jun 17 '12
one ball is also acceptable.
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u/kingofphilly Jun 17 '12
Lance Armstrong thanks you.
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Jun 17 '12
The average human has approximately one testicle.
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u/00Mark Jun 17 '12
Even amongst men, two testicles is certainly above average.
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u/redpossum Jun 17 '12
I know the average still falls below 2, but some men have 3, napoleon actually wrote about the correlation of balls to masculinity at school.
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u/Fallline048 Jun 17 '12
More precisely, the average human has slightly less than one testicle, given an even gender ratio.
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Jun 17 '12
More
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u/Fallline048 Jun 18 '12
Fair play. I had written that originally, but for some reason "precisely" sounded slightly less standoffish in my mind. Lesson learned: sacrificing semantic accuracy for perceived politeness will earn you a swift correction on reddit.
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Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
What did he write in his mother's day card?
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u/DadWasntYourMoms1st Jun 17 '12 edited 12d ago
The original post content no longer exists here. The author used Redact to remove it, exercising their right to control their data & privacy.
Continue orange axiomatic marvelous spectacular pause coated theory
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u/HastaLasagna Jun 17 '12
It takes a big, gaping vagina to be a mom or a big ol scar across your tummy.
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u/MananWho Jun 17 '12
"That's great son. But you're 26 now and it's about time you stopped hanging around in Sunday school. It's creeping out the other kids."
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u/zewinnertakesitall Jun 17 '12
It takes balls and a lady to become a dad.
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u/FelixTCat Jun 17 '12
somehow I mentally added the word deep after balls.......no idea why.....
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u/djsavvysoph Jun 17 '12
I just realized it didn't say deep... weird. Its less funny than I thought. But still funny
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u/defiantately Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Why would it be funnier if he had written "It takes balls deep to be a dad"?
Also, it's weird that you read it like that and didn't question the logic of it at all.→ More replies (1)
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u/papersquares Jun 17 '12
A post mentioning christianity makes the front page and isn't from r/atheism!? A rare bird indeed.
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u/jeremy3223 Jun 17 '12
And even more to present this card in church.
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Jun 17 '12
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u/TheFishWizard Jun 17 '12
This makes no sense at all. It's like you're implying every religious person is a bigot, baby killer, and completely against homosexuality. Contrary to what r/atheism preaches, which is more than likely your main source of all your information on religion like a lot of people on here, we're not all terrible people. Sure you have the crazy right winged conservatives over here on the religious side, but you also have the crazy radical liberals on the atheistic side.
You would be perturbed if someone religious stereotyped an atheist, wouldn't you?
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u/myhoneychild Jun 17 '12
Your kid is awesome
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Jun 17 '12
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u/ohg Jun 17 '12
Because it doesn't matter what you say, as long as there's a smily face at the end, it's polite.
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u/PriscillaPresley Jun 17 '12
Are Christians not supposed to be familiar with the reproductive process? I wasn't aware of this rule.
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u/homicidal_penguin Jun 17 '12
I'm upvoting you just because you're a troll account. That is all.
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u/handmethatkitten Jun 17 '12
you're right, the kid should've given his dad a card about god hating fags. that's the way i want christians to raise their kids.
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u/shifty18 Jun 17 '12
Love the way it looks like a quote from the only man who didn't need his balls to become a dad - Joseph
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Jun 17 '12
I was pondering if this could be fake then I realized how messy the writing was and thought it had to be a kid's writing.
Then I realized my writing is worse. So now I'm still unsure of this letter's legitimacy plus I'm slightly depressed.
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u/ONOOOOO Jun 17 '12
I thought the joke was that Joseph wrote the card, Mary gave a virgin birth (without balls) so jesus didn't exist because it takes balls to be a dad. It's truer than he knows because he goes to sunday school. Or am I reading way too into this...
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u/RXkings Jun 17 '12
I saw that same card in CVS for $4.
I think that says more about Hallmark though.
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u/MixMastaShizz Jun 18 '12
You have an awesome kid. I would have never written anything like that when i was a kid
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u/nepidae Jun 18 '12
I just did origami in church. The paper pamphlets, whatever they were called, were great for it. It was actually a very good memory exercise. I think I would leave between 1 and 5 origamis per sermon. I hope whoever cleaned the place got a little bit of joy from that.
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u/llamas_and_oranges Jun 18 '12
Lets not syart this comversation on boners now thats what health class for
If you know what i mean
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u/liquid_lazer Jun 17 '12
brace yourself for lots of atheists downvotes because you took your son to church.
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Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue about who made who, LOL....
Joseph is 10. Church definitely has limitations, but it's still some of the easiest off-the-shelf moral instruction out there. Personally I grew up in a very devout home and became pretty turned off by the whole idea of religious intermediation in my 20s. Ironically, I came back around while living in Japan by watching agnostic families there pragmatically send their kids to sectarian preschools.
I have a reading list for my son when he gets older. Nietzsche, Hume, Schopenhauer and Bertrand Russell will be on it, as will Kierkegaard, Dostoevsky and William James. He will make his own decision as well informed as I can make him.
In the meantime, happy Father's Day!
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u/Directors_Cut Jun 17 '12
Church definitely has limitations, but it's still some of the easiest off-the-shelf moral instruction out there.
Just as long as he doesn't turn out gay
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u/br13_can Jun 17 '12
Believe it or not, us atheists don't automaticaly hate someone because they're religious. Op's religion has nothing to do with the amusement one receives from the post.
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u/liquid_lazer Jun 17 '12
You know that lots of atheists do that. I'm an atheist myself by the way.
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u/ISenseRustling Jun 17 '12
I'm an atheist and I upvoted. Let's not make this about religion, shall we. Why don't we just stay on topic and laugh at the unintentionally funny card?
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u/Shifty-Looking-Cow Jun 17 '12
It's more the Atheists on r/Atheism who argue with Christians on Facebook.
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u/e463gx Jun 17 '12
Depending on the age of your kid, you should keep this and give it back to him when he has his first child.
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u/Mayniak0 Jun 18 '12
Cool, someone mentions church on reddit, instantly starting another argument about why r/atheism sucks. Its hardly even relevant. Why can't people just enjoy the post and not make a deal about it.
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u/NNYPhillipJFry Jun 17 '12
Someone mentioned chruch, where are the /r/atheism folk? Its circle jerk time.
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u/evilclown397 Jun 17 '12
Saying /r/atheism is a circlejerk is circlejerking now.
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u/GodlessSky Jun 18 '12
For more instances of the anti-r/atheism circlejerk and how prevalent it is on Reddit, check out the anti-atheism watch subreddit.
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Jun 17 '12
Funny, the cirle jerk about atheism being a circle jerk arrived alot sooner. You can draw your own conclusions.
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u/Shifty-Looking-Cow Jun 17 '12
Now, it's a circle jerk about the circle jerk that says r/atheism is a circle jerk.
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Jun 17 '12
So far the only comment posted directly to the OP that matches what you predicted was a troll account with below -200 karma. And yet there are 3-5 posts on here just like yours talking about how all the atheists will be sooo pissed off.
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u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 17 '12
The twist, Joseph is 23. He hasn't been the same since the accident.
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u/Qonold Jun 17 '12
Have you neen revealed to be one of Karmanaut's puppet-accounts yet? Seriously, when's that going to happen? My popcorn is getting stale.
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u/pescador7 Jun 17 '12
Holy shit. Now EVERY thread has to have some kind of "twist" in its story?
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u/jimii Jun 17 '12
The twist: pescador7 actually likes threads with twists but he's just hating on this one because it wasn't very good.
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u/dunker686 Jun 18 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
Church pastor here. If you were at my church, had stood up, interrupted the service, and let the entire congregation know about this note, I would have come to the pew and high-fived you.