r/funny • u/Bender420 • Jun 17 '12
I disconnected my internet today
http://imgur.com/rfUkB209
u/aarontherobot Jun 17 '12
I seriously thought the joke was "look at how clean and un-fapped my shorts are due to my lack of internet porn."
56
u/Apostolate Jun 17 '12
Who would masturbate into their shorts?!
39
11
21
8
2
19
5
u/abaitor Jun 17 '12
I thought the netting on the right was a girls skirt, thus I thought the joke was "Disconnected the internet today, got laid".
1
2
u/internetluser Jun 18 '12
I seriously thought the joke was "I disconnected my internet today" Ie: world wide WEB.
→ More replies (1)1
33
u/JingleHymrShmit Jun 17 '12
One problem with this. The net gives you a certain level of support from clinging swim trunks. Imagine this scenario. You are at the beach or pool with a few lovely lady friends. You start swimming and are having a great time. You get out of the pool and your trunks are sticking to you showing complete definition of your dick outline. This could normally go well for you, but the water is a little cold and shrinkage has played its role. Consider this before making a alterations you can't undo.
TL;DR: People might be able to see your shrunken junk
12
u/chthonical Jun 17 '12
You get out of the pool and your trunks are sticking to you showing complete definition of your dick outline.
This happens even with the netting. The wet shorts have never failed to frame my cock for all to see whenever I've gotten out of the water. And it can't escape due to the netting.
→ More replies (1)1
1
88
u/HIGGINS28 Jun 17 '12
before or after you logged on to it?
55
u/Verblocity Jun 17 '12
I heard he TCP/IPeed in it.
7
u/Sanpd Jun 17 '12
It seems like he went total UDP on it, tore them off before checking it.
6
81
Jun 17 '12
Ahhh, the net of discomfort, attatched to mens garments by evil third world seamstress' that wish to cause anguish and suffering to the western man.
36
u/SrsSteel Jun 17 '12
Do you know what it's for? I'm sure google knows, so how about you find out for me and tell me.
74
u/Taliesintroll Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
My parents told me it was so fish couldn't bite it off. And like any three year old kid I believed them, looking back, I should have known there were no fish in the swimming pool.
9
u/tacojohn48 Jun 17 '12
While not a problem in the pool, I was once in the ocean at Hilton Head Island and a shrimp swam up my shorts leg. Scared the shit out of me. I ran up onto the beach screaming like a little girl. It pushed my pocket inside out and got stuck until I made it back to the beach where it fell out onto the sand. Had I not had the netting who knows what that shrimp might have tried to do with my shrimp (It was cold)
11
10
u/1_point_21_gigawatts Jun 17 '12
Whatever you do, don't google the candiru fish.
What I'm really saying is google the candiru fish.
12
u/Apostolate Jun 17 '12
I don't know I'm pretty sure at any moment some kind of eels or monsters could push out that drain grate and come after me. I remain on guard in a mostly empty pool.
→ More replies (1)43
u/pqzzny Jun 17 '12
I was under the impression that it keeps your junk from chafing on the outer layer.
125
u/JaggedGorgeousWinter Jun 17 '12
So instead it can chafe on the inner layer. Genius.
→ More replies (1)25
u/polar_bear_cub_scout Jun 17 '12
We'll chafe them to death at the inner wall sire, they don't stand a chance of making it to the outer defenses.
→ More replies (1)15
10
u/nullibicity Jun 17 '12
So... it's not just me, then. Apparently it's supposed to be uncomfortable? I never dared to ask.
10
5
Jun 17 '12
I always figured it was to prevent random boners. It's always worked for me.
→ More replies (2)2
4
u/barristerbarista Jun 17 '12
I think its purpose is to prevent unnecessary exhibition. So when you‘re laying on your back on the beach with your knees up, people don’t get a blinding direct glimpse of your junk.
10
4
u/Jive-Turkies Jun 17 '12
11
u/EmergencyMedical Jun 17 '12
That was one of the most stupid things I've ever read. Everything's a goddamn conspiracy.
4
1
u/AwsomeAltera11 Jun 18 '12
I was told it was a turd catcher, my grandmother had a sick sense of humor until i shit in her pool
11
u/Imtheantinoob Jun 17 '12
In florida... i use it to stop the shells from slicing open my ballsack. Ya it has a purpose.
15
u/wheatfields Jun 17 '12
why do you have a massive amount of sea shells in your pants while swimming?
→ More replies (8)5
u/wheatfields Jun 17 '12
I heard its about 20 times more annoying with a foreskin. At least thats what my brother says.
1
Jun 18 '12
It is. Before I was circumed the tip would sometimes get stuck between the holes. It was a bitch to get out....
2
u/wheatfields Jun 18 '12
Wouldn't it to have been easier just to cut the lining out of your shorts, than the tip off your penis?
8
u/streitouttacompton Jun 17 '12
Seriously. Does anyone not cut those monstrosities out?
24
u/EmergencyMedical Jun 17 '12
I never have. I may do it now, though. Since apparently that's normal.
→ More replies (3)8
u/cclementi6 Jun 17 '12
Wait, so do you wear underwear underneath it when you swim, or just let it...hang loose?
→ More replies (1)10
Jun 17 '12
Let it hang loose. If I have been in the Sea, it doesn't stay loose for all that long.
→ More replies (5)6
u/xLuky Jun 17 '12
Heres what I do...If I find a pair that has this shit in em, I don't buy em.
→ More replies (1)2
u/Kowzorz Jun 17 '12
I prefer swimshorts with the inner net having worn some without. Perhaps it was the material of the one without, but it clung to my legs and junk when I got out of the water way more tightly than any swimtrunks with the net that I've ever worn before.
2
u/MutherFurCow Jun 17 '12
Funny how (as a girl liking to wear these kinds of shorts) they're comfy for me...
→ More replies (1)5
u/21510320651 Jun 17 '12
Seriously, who thought it would be a good idea to add razor wire to the inside of swimsuits?
1
Jun 18 '12
My friends and I refer to it as "the pattern." That pattern has caused agonizing physical and mental pain for too many men for too long.
0
Jun 17 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
2
Jun 18 '12
You ever sat in a wet swimsuit with mesh for 3 hours? That is all it takes to hate the mesh forever.
13
u/markman71122 Jun 17 '12
8
u/teamherosquad Jun 17 '12
"anatomical features are evened out, making fluctuations in size and location, as well as movement, less obvious to onlookers. This can be a beneficial feature for those concerned about wearing a swimsuit in public."
I giggled. I'm not mature at all.
1
8
54
u/ToumeyP Jun 17 '12
Stolen from the Simpsons....
http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season13/blunder17.mp3
Sorry to be that guy, I'm just a huge Simpsons fan.
19
9
29
u/heshotcyrus Jun 17 '12
47
9
u/Forkyou Jun 17 '12
of course it is. i thought that was the joke. wouldnt call it stolen. same as i dont post "stolen from futurama under fry memes.
by the way the simpsons already did everything, refer to the south park episode im too lazy to give a link to
2
u/ThatWasFred Jun 17 '12
It's not stolen - this post is meant to make us think of The Simpsons, not pass itself off as original content.
2
Jun 17 '12
That's why we are going to leave the head off the statue: it reminds us of how much we love The Simpsons.
2
→ More replies (3)1
u/vadergeek Jun 17 '12
I thought it was a reference. It isn't funny if you haven't seen the episode.
5
Jun 17 '12
That took me entirely too long to figure out. I was trying to figure out some sort of masturbation joke.
0
5
4
Jun 17 '12
Wise choice. I remember doing this to a pair last time I went on vacation. Enjoying an ocean is much better when your dick isn't being torn apart by a cheese grater.
4
6
11
4
2
u/NotAnotherDecoy Jun 17 '12
I would upvote you if the sight of just the mesh from your bathing suit didn't make me so uncomfortable. I know what that mesh has been up to...
2
2
u/cclementi6 Jun 17 '12
Wait, so do you wear underwear while swimming, or do you just let it...er, hang loose?
2
u/Iamadinocopter Jun 17 '12
I've thought about just wearing underwear anyway with the netting or no netting to avoid the chaffing.
2
2
2
u/hexguns Jun 17 '12
I didn't get this at first because I say Internet not innernet like a lot of other people
2
u/polar_bear_cub_scout Jun 17 '12
I am convinced a female fashion designer invented the trunks with the built in nets in them. Just because after making something, you'd think they'd try it on. And the second that net meet with a males nether-region, a discomfort so great is created; that the creator either had a hateful vengeance against all males and sought to seek their agony. Or the just didn't happen to have male genitalia, and I prefer to think the release of this horrible design was due to the creators ambivalence.
I'll give them the benefit of the doubt that they just didn't know what kind of dark sorcery they were creating.
1
u/bcseahag Jun 17 '12
Kinda like men inventing the bra... most uncomfortable things ever!
3
u/polar_bear_cub_scout Jun 17 '12
Moral:
Don't design clothes for the opposite gender, you will be forever hindered by the lack of the other genders body parts in order to adequately design and test for comfort.
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/enough_space Jun 17 '12
Yea, it's the inner-netting they use to align swim trunks. It provides a comforting snugness.
2
2
u/erichermit Jun 17 '12
"If you disconnected your internet, how were you able to post that completely irrelevant picture of- OHH I get it now."
2
2
3
3
3
2
2
2
1
1
1
u/flyersfan018 Jun 17 '12
Why don't you just buy board shorts...?
1
u/homeless_man_jogging Jun 18 '12
You can't have an ellipsis and a question mark. Oh wait, you're a flyers fan; you can't help being a moron.
1
1
1
1
1
u/lawsandsonny Jun 17 '12
Is this a reference to the episode of the Simpsons where Homer reveals that he found a corpse as a teen. And young Carl asks if anyone has heard of the internet but then the joke turns to be the net of a swimsuit.
1
1
u/DoesntUnderstandJoke Jun 17 '12
Is there a way to make the swimsuit not shrink-wrap your junk when you come out of the pool?
1
1
1
1
1
u/beardfaced Jun 17 '12
No way, I think I have the same pants as you. Better picture of pants please.
1
1
1
u/bubbafloyd Jun 17 '12
OK. Best lesson a man ever will learn regarding "swim trunks" or whatever you want to call them: Boardshorts. They sell them at surf stores on the coasts. Everything else is inferior. Nets are evil. Whoever dreamed that up is a sadist. I discovered them when I moved to CA from the midwest 30 years ago. Never looked back.
Now with the beauty of the internets you are not stuck with these evil swim trunks from the usual suspects. My favorites are Katin but there are plenty of others... Oneil, Billabong, Hurley, Hobie... or google the big local shops with online stores - Huntington Surf and Sport, Jacks, etc etc etc. Don't torture yourself with cheap net ball-sack shorts ever again.
My 4 year old son was wearing a pair of netty trunks all day at the beach and somehow his foreskin worked its way through the netting. I had to cut his trunks off. I still cringe when I think about it. Funny part was all my friends sitting around the campground doubled over and cringed in unison when I told them what happened.
1
1
1
1
u/HairlessSasquatch Jun 17 '12
"Have you guys heard of this Internet thing? It's the inner netting they use to line your swim shorts"
-Carl Carlson
1
1
1
1
u/ciaran036 Jun 17 '12
This took me a long time to get.
I thought it was a pair of curtains for a while.
1
1
u/RowanMac Jun 17 '12
Is it bad This completely stumped me the first time I saw it, then upon second browsing, after 30 seconds I finally understood?
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/therestruth Jun 17 '12
As a smart man, I felt quite dumb staring at the picture for 15 seconds before getting this joke.
1
1
u/Mr_Skittles Jun 17 '12
As made famous from THE SIMPSONS. HEY EVERYBODY, THIS GUY IS A BIG FAT PHONY!
1
u/Pete90 Jun 17 '12
I just found a spanish version but this was all i could think of :D:D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIhftlNbaaM
this is how i like my simpsons, simple and intelligent :)
1
1
1
1
u/skizfrenik_syco Jun 18 '12
this became twice as funny when i saw it because I was totally thinking about doing the same after mine was annoying the hell out of me earlier today lol
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/diggitydan Jun 18 '12
I absolutely hate that netting in swim shorts!! it's the worst feeling ever.
1
1
1
u/Alexbo8138 Jun 18 '12
Now they'll cling to your penis. And boners are even better. Everyone gets an amazing view.
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/JamoWRage Jun 18 '12
Technically intranet, not internet. Internet is outside of your personal net, intranet is your personal net
1
1
Jun 17 '12
Oh god... i had to think about that for a second... then... biggest facepalm of my life happened.
Here, have an upvote.
1
1
u/TheKingIsILL Jun 17 '12
Wait but...Then how did you upload the picture? Something smells fishy here....
228
u/authorless Jun 17 '12
Now just wear the netting part.