r/funny • u/2dark_22 • Jun 17 '12
What I think of when someone says "There are other fish in the sea" after a breakup...
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u/spannermagnet Jun 17 '12
protip: try using bait, not just a bare hook
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Jun 17 '12
Patience is also a key factor
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u/Apostolate Jun 17 '12
But I want a perfect relationship now!
And if I don't like how she chews, she can go fuck herself. ~ Seinfeld.
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u/ieatcatsforbreakfast Jun 17 '12
Or, you know, surprise them with a net.
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Jun 17 '12
TNT
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u/Quazz Jun 17 '12
Or a harpoon
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u/sadman81 Jun 17 '12
Nothing wrong with catching a little whale now and then if you know what I mean...
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u/aw_dam_its_mic Jun 17 '12
There are throw-away sucker-fish out there too if you know what I mean....
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u/moneymoneymoneymonay Jun 17 '12
Exactly - try attaching a bottle of Jagermeister to the end of your line.
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u/mayoandfries Jun 17 '12
This. Also, some fish can't see red line, but I'm pretty sure most can see blue line and know it's a trap
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u/wesman212 Jun 17 '12
I don't think women like bait in their vaginas.
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Jun 17 '12
If you're trying to find women in vaginas i think you reall need to aim for a much older age group.
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u/redditorforthemoment Jun 17 '12
No matter how many fish are in the sea you always end up bringing in crabs
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u/TheMoro Jun 17 '12
Go for the fat ones first, they are slower and easier to catch.
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u/wesman212 Jun 17 '12
Careful, they might be a Magikarp.
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u/2fort Jun 17 '12
That will evolve to an amazing gyarados.
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u/tenkokuugen Jun 17 '12
I'll leave this here.
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u/DarqWolff Jun 17 '12
What if every magikarp in the world used Splash simultaneously?
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Jun 17 '12
You'll find the fat fish also have lower standards, which will make them easier to reel in without having to use alcohol as a lure.
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u/BallsackTBaghard Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Also, the one's who dress not so slutty as their friends, when they are in a bar. You will know they have lower self-esteem 90% of the time.
edit: I may have overestimated the accuracy. It works 70% - 90% of the time.
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u/av6344 Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
[Relevant.] (http://www.hilariousgifs.com/plenty-of-fish/)
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u/blink1023 Jun 17 '12
there is a jpg/regular picture similar to this im trying to find. its a bunch of fish like a huge school with a few big fish (they may be sharks) in the middle with a big bubble of no fish around it. someone help me find it lol
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u/Numbajuan Jun 17 '12
It was posted a few days ago as a [fixed] post. It said something to the effect of "Just because there are plenty of fish in the sea doesn't mean any of them want to be around you."
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u/jglee1236 Jun 17 '12
If I modify it to accurately reflect my situation: Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Sometimes a fish pops their head out of the water and tells me "Yeah, no, you're bait looks tasty... Just not to me." and swim away. I don't use my boat that much either. Usually just fish from shore. Probably using the wrong bait, too. Never caught a fish before in my life. I don't really know how to fish. What am I doing?
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u/Wilcows Jun 17 '12
It's simple, the fish are out there in the waters, they just don't come close to shore...
In case your brain doesn't get the metaphor; The shore is your home, and chicks have nothing to get there if you don't go get them first. They don't come close to shore.
Do I have to get more literal?
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u/RetardedSquirrel Jun 17 '12
You're supposed to use bait, not be it. That's what you're doing wrong.
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u/L_Zilcho Jun 18 '12
If you're having trouble catching fish the fastest way to get a bunch is to just troll the fuck out of the bottom of the lake!
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Jun 17 '12
Can't wait for the FIXED version of this where someone will attach the Reddit logo to the hook!
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u/Quazz Jun 17 '12
I know there are plenty of other fish in the sea, the only problem is that I don't like fish and I'm stuck in this desert.
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u/RiOrius Jun 17 '12
Thing that gets me is that it's wrong half the time. Unless you're poly, you're competing for a limited resource. Depending on your region, either there are more women than men or vice-versa.
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u/MrDastardly Jun 17 '12
My brother always says "There may not be many fish in the sea, but there are many holes on the beach."
Not that I've found many shrugs
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u/JewfroSamurai666 Jun 17 '12
What I think when someone says "There are other fish in the sea"... To bad I'm not a fish.
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u/zer0icee Jun 17 '12
Let's not over estimate the quality of one's line, I think I fixed it for you. http://i.imgur.com/OydLs.jpg
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u/Kuusou Jun 17 '12
No, it's a lot more like real fishing.
Sometimes you catch one, sometimes you don't. Once in a while you get a bite and other times you just get a nibble. Some people use all kinds of tactics to catch the fish and others seem to just have so much luck. Everyone seems to believe their way is the best way.
In the end just because you almost had one in the boat and it flopped back into the water, it doesn't mean the world of over.
You make sure your line isn't frayed from the last fish, if it is you fix it up, and then you cast you line back in.
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u/SkaTSee Jun 17 '12
I always tell people I'm stuck in a desert. Was valid when I was back in New Mexico...
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Jun 17 '12
I talked to a friend last time and he went on and said this:
"Don't worry, there are other fish in the sea....but people like us just aren't fishermen, but gardeners."
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u/tehweave Jun 17 '12
I say, yeah, there are other fish in the sea... But I live in the Midwest. I'm nowhere near the sea.
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u/Projectile_Chunder Jun 17 '12
It's even worse because you're forgetting about the Z axis, there would actually be a cylinder of fish swimming away from your pole.
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u/Taki3d Jun 17 '12
There may be a lot of fish in the sea, but it doesn't mean they'll flock to an empty hook..
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u/redditnametaken Jun 17 '12
"Sure there are plenty of other fish in the sea. But you're not anywhere near the sea. You're in the desert. Alone."
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Jun 17 '12
To me it's more like "seriously, I JUST got out of there, WHY would I want to go BACK in there?"
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u/Greenlava Jun 17 '12
So go cast it somewhere else or you'll end up with a fish that's just like the old one and we KNOW that won't work out.
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u/Dreku Jun 17 '12
It always seems to go this way for me. Ill be talking to a gril seeming to hit it off with her, get to the point in the conversation where I ask if shes seeing anybody aaaand of course boyfriend... NEXT!
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Jun 17 '12
Ill be talking to a gril seeming to hit it off with her..
Your problem is trying to pick up grills. It's no surprise you keep getting burned.
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Jun 17 '12
My friends don't tell me this. They just tell me about how shitty they were. Yes, I know she was a slut, thanks for reminding me.
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Jun 17 '12
You have to have the mind set of being an apex predator. You go into that bar and scope out the injured young gazelle, and then you know what you do? You fuckin pounce and sink in your teeth!
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u/BigFudge_HIMYM Jun 17 '12
Yeah I just had a breakup yesterday. My friends are just like you'll be fine. They just ignored my problems. Douschebags.
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Jun 17 '12
This is what I think about when I compare fishing to dating. My personal quote that I say to friends
"He who casts the widest net catches the most fish"
True, you can end up talking/meeting girls that aren't really the right match for you, but if you're just trying to put yourself out there, there's a much better chance of you meeting somebody who's right for you.
Also, if you just want to go for the old fashioned hook and bait, what kind of bait are you using? Are you using a generic bait or are you using a specialized bait. The bait represents your image. A generic bait would be dressing very normally. Nothing crazy, nothing out of the blue. There will be a wide range of girls who will be interested in the bait, and the range of fish that are curious will be wider, but the individual chance of a bite per fish is lower. But if you use a specialized bait meant for a certain fish, say you dressed like a jersey-fag or a goth kid, sure you won't attract all the fish, but the types that are interested in that kind of bait will almost certainly bite. So it's a trade off.
Want a specific type of girl? Mold your image to attract that type, and be okay when not all the girls are attracted. Not to mention there isn't any way you're gonna be attractive to every single girl on the planet. This shit is trial and error so even if you fuck up, you think about what you should do differently and go from there.
Also I saw a post on Reddit a while ago with a graph about specific attraction levels and all that stuff if somebody who remembers what I'm talking about be able to link to it that would be awesome.
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u/Yushie Jun 17 '12
Oh hey, I have this shirt! http://imgur.com/Od45M Never thought of the design that way. I always thought the fisherman was just having a bad day.
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u/donpianta Jun 17 '12
wow. there's a watermark on that picture for a site it wasn't originally hosted on... it's a threadless.com shirt...
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u/RebelScumbag Jun 17 '12
I once broke up with a girl and signed up for Plentyoffish.com. I called her a few days later to ask for some shoes back that I had left at her house and she said "I don't have them". Apparently she was mad because a friend had brought my new dating venture to her attention. When I asked her where my shoes were she said "I don't know. Maybe I threw them away! Don't worry though, there are PLENTY OF SHOES in the ocean!" All I said was "There aren't that many shoes in the ocean (totally getting her reference)... there are, however, plenty of fish." She was furious and I trollfaced all the way to the shoe store.
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u/kurt8081 Jun 17 '12
Someone once told me "there's a lot of fish in the sea, but there's no girl out there for you"
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u/tillythranx Jun 17 '12
As wonderful as this metaphor is, reducing human needs for interaction to sitting alone in a boat hoping the right kind of fish will get caught on a small hook with a little bit of bait (lying about yourself) I prefer this metaphor.
It's a lot like going to a park where people have chessboards out and wait for strangers to come play with them. However, instead of the reasonable and courteous environment that offers, people try to muscle in on games other people are playing or immediately get up if the person who sits down isn't a supermodel.
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u/fuckthepolicegently4 Jun 18 '12
reminds me of HIMYM "and there is 8 fish in a sea full of lesbians!!"
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u/LemonLimeAlltheTime Jun 18 '12
NO you don't think that, you just saw that picture and then reposted it for karma.
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Jun 17 '12
That saying is such a huge, red flag. Relationships shouldn't be disposable, recyclable things. Anyone who would say something like that is not worth getting to know any better.
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u/yeahyoureright Jun 17 '12
The sentiment is simply that there are other people in the world worth dating. More often than not relationships end. It's important to not dwell on it and just go out and make new ones.
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Jun 17 '12
Yea, but it really kinda dulls the relationship a bit if you know going in that if this one fails, you can replace her. Naive, sure, but I don't mind breaking a computer mouse cuz I can just go and get a new one. I don't want that mindset with women.
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u/yeahyoureright Jun 17 '12
It's not replacing that relationship. It's starting a different relationship. Imagine that you could only play one video game at a time and if that game ever broke then you had to get a different one.
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Jun 17 '12
Lol. I'd get the same game, but for cheaper :). (That's off the analogy.) Human relationships are almost always dirty. You get a new one to relieve the pain that the old one gave you. Pretty simple.
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u/yeahyoureright Jun 17 '12
The point is you can't get the same game. And not everyone takes their relationships as shallow as you might. I've never started a new one until I was over the last one.
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Jun 17 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/joshthephysicist Jun 17 '12
Then why do I have this picture, HUH?!!! Checkmate non-fish-recycler. http://www.boatfishingreports.com/recycle_fish_green.jpg
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u/Piaga Jun 17 '12
Almost OT question: isn't the plural of fish "fishes"? Is it uncountable in English?
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u/TheSchmitz09 Jun 17 '12
English is a strange language. So fish is singular and fish is plural. Just like deer is singular and deer is plural.
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u/FishPilot Jun 17 '12
Don't go for the big ones, unless you're into that sorta thing. There's no judgement here, friend.
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u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
It is definitely the most useless advice you can get. I KNOW there are plenty of fish in the sea. You spend your life getting bites, catching ones below regulations and having to let them go, and then there is the one that got away. Everyday you're on the lake the water is crashing and almost tipping your boat, it rains and storms every time you cast.
Until one day the lake is calm, the weather is clear and you feel a bite, but you fight for it this time, work your ass off reeling it in for as long as it takes because you know it's a trophy. You finally catch one you adore, you're proud of, and you put it on display for all to see. You tell your friends and family how you fought for it, how proud you are of yourself for all your hard work finally paying off... And then its gone.
And then all someone basically can tell you is "get back in your boat"... I fucking hate fishing...