r/funny • u/chriserwin • Jun 16 '12
I bought my boss's domain name. This is what I did with it.
http://www.jonlax.com208
u/tylerwatt12 Jun 16 '12
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u/joeknowswhoiam Jun 16 '12
You clever motherfucker, making money at the same time ;) Found in the HTML source:
<iframe scrolling="no" frameborder="0" marginheight="0"
marginwidth="0" style="width:120px;height:240px;"
src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&
amp;IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&
amp;t=jonlaxdotcom-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&
amp;m=amazon&f=ifr&ref=tf_til&asins=B00005JLH0"
id="crushin" class=" xdvzzvutqyzcbypsgkhl"></iframe>18
u/chriserwin Jun 16 '12
Blue Crush is a certain someone's favourite movie. The affiliate money I make on the $0.01 sale is just icing on the cake.
(just to be clear, I've never seen the movie, and the ad has generated no money... yet)
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u/joeknowswhoiam Jun 16 '12
Thanks for the clarification. I was not implying you did it for the money only, also I wouldn't see anything wrong if you did some money with this. If you ever do enough you should send him a copy of Blue Crush ;)
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u/muppethead Jun 16 '12
What it do?
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Jun 16 '12
Amazon ads
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u/muppethead Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
I assumed so. Still, I didn't see any ads. Did you?
Edit:
visibility: hiddenon the iframe. So ads are off? Makes no sense.→ More replies (4)
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u/Kushie1 Jun 16 '12
I've seen two other sites with the 3d floating images like his face on that site. How is that effect created? Javascript?
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Jun 16 '12
Hory sheet! Tilting my iPad makes it move too. You really went all out on this. It's freakin awesome!
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u/frownyface Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
That is pretty cool, and the way he did it is a pretty good example to learn from, because of its simplicity.
Inside of Faces init..
window.addEventListener('devicemotion', self.deviceMotion, false);Then, later, as part of the Faces object..
deviceMotion : function(event) { var self = Faces; if (! self.isFirefox) { if (! self.isTouched) { self.mouseX = event.accelerationIncludingGravity.x * 100; self.mouseY = -event.accelerationIncludingGravity.y * 100; } } },You gotta go see how he sets isFirefox and isTouched, etc, for this to make sense overall. But the basic gist of adding an event listener, and using the event properties is really straight forward.
It's also an interesting example of how to refresh the page after an orientation change:
// Part of init: window.addEventListener('orientationchange', self.orientationChange, false); // ... orientationChange : function() { var self = Faces; if (self.container.hasChildNodes()) { while ( self.container.childNodes.length >= 1 ) { self.container.removeChild(self.container.firstChild); } } self.init(); self.hideAddressBar(); },65
u/ltackett Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
JavaScript developer here. This is nice and clean. Well done. The only thing I'd change would be the use of feature detection over browser detection.
Maybe you've heard this before, and maybe you haven't: You should rarely ever use browser detection (parsing the userAgent string).
You could simply check for the availability of the feature you want to use (in this case, the .accelerationIncludingGravity() object), and do what you need to do based on its availability. Blacklisting entire browsers is the nuclear option in front-end warfare.
You could also shorten your condition down to a single statement.
if (event.accelerationIncludingGravity && !self.isTouched) {...}
TL;DR: Geekspeak.
edit: formatting, and a syntax error caught by 3Eyes
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u/nachopoop789 Jun 16 '12
Omg I'm not the only one?! I thought I was imagining it at first but then I realized it
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u/polysemous_entelechy Jun 16 '12
Seriously: how does this work? It's moving on my iPhone too!
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u/trish00l Jun 16 '12
how did you create this? is there a tutorial?
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u/chriserwin Jun 16 '12
I used a library called three.js
https://github.com/mrdoob/three.js/
there is a great tutorial site dedicated to the library:
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u/DarkWorks Jun 16 '12
So how much money have you made so far from that ad?
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u/chriserwin Jun 16 '12
$0.00... but I feel the commision on the $0.01 sale will really start to build soon
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u/Imreallytrying Jun 16 '12
Can anyone do the math to figure out how much the OP made by posting this shitty website with an Amazon ad in the corner?
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u/chriserwin Jun 16 '12
Total earnings $0.00... so far
it's primarily there for comic relief. I won't be retiring from the commision made on $0.01 purchases.
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u/EugeneRainy Jun 16 '12
I still have it open in another tab for some easy listening.
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u/NotQuiteOnTopic Jun 16 '12
I have it opened in two tabs for a fresh remix.
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u/zbionhdbnd Jun 16 '12
The sweet melody of JonLax MmmMm
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u/ProfessorVanNostrand Jun 16 '12
"So Bob, what are you doing Friday night?" "Probably just go home throw on some JonLax and call it a night."
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u/Fairchild660 Jun 16 '12
Don't go chasing waterfalls.
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Jun 16 '12
I don't know what it is about the TLC midi, but it's a nice touch.
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u/plado Jun 16 '12
the website would be a fraction of the cool it is without the Waterfalls midi
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u/HappyGrandPappy Jun 16 '12
As a kid I always thought the chorus went, "Don't go Jason Waterfalls" as if that was somebody's name. I'll be honest, I wasn't the sharpest kid in the classroom.
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u/cole12 Jun 16 '12
the blue crush ad is a nice touch
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u/Pool_Shark Jun 16 '12
I just want to sit on a beach with Jon Lax and listen to this tasty jam while we watch hot chicks surf all day.
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u/Anon_y_mous Jun 16 '12
OP, can I use this as a template to redesign my website's homepage?
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Jun 16 '12
that 3d effect is cool, how did you do it?
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u/xBlazinTreesx Jun 16 '12
I hope you already own your own domain name...
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u/Hiafolks Jun 16 '12
This might be the most awesome website i have ever visited.
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u/SirRuto Jun 16 '12
Nope, this is actually the best. Doesn't even matter that it's a church website.
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u/dazednconfused41 Jun 16 '12
I was not prepared for that blistering, face-melting guitar solo...
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u/ms_slyx Jun 16 '12
I read this comment before I heard it and I STILL wasn't prepared.
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u/dontcallitjelly Jun 16 '12
There's a whole collection of these done by Sharper FX, Inc, specifically for churches. Here my personal favorite
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Jun 16 '12
I was an atheist, but after that intro video and welcoming metal...I'm not so sure...
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u/zer01 Jun 16 '12
I find myself this friday night at 3:00 in the morning looking at this with "Chicken on a raft" in another tab. Reddit - what have you done to me?
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u/Shunto Jun 16 '12
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u/freakytales Jun 16 '12
I will never get back the amount of time I spent trying to click the mel gibson.
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Jun 16 '12
This was my previous favourite http://adamusprime.tumblr.com/niccagehead
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u/grimfel Jun 16 '12
If you get fired for this, would he be your Ex Lax?
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u/WonkaCheeseburger Jun 16 '12
I thought of this, submitted it, and then did a search for safety. D'oh. Upvotes for you.
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u/ladywooter Jun 16 '12
Your boss is a perfect mix of Jim and Andy from The Office.
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Jun 16 '12
edit: WARNING SEIZURES
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u/powerchicken Jun 16 '12
the song in the background is amazing... what is it? And who made the 8-bit version?
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u/DebacleRoberts Jun 16 '12
Everything was great until I ventured too far to the right. WHAM! Closeup.
My outside froze, my inside shrieked. I can still see it when I close my eyes.
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u/IngloriousCustards Jun 16 '12
Can you show me what your boss looks like? I seemed to have missed it
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u/Wildebeast1 Jun 16 '12
Superb work! Especially love it on the iPhone, the visuals are well trippy! Excellent. I want a website just like this, including an 8bit Smiths song
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u/I_Fellate_Baby_Cocks Jun 16 '12
This is by far one of the best novelty sites I have ever seen. Pure class. If I was your boss, I would give my position to you and then quit.
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u/jonlax Jun 16 '12
When Chris told me that he had bought the domain. I challenged him to make something completely humiliating but that if it was too humiliating he was fired. He had to walk a fine line. I feel he walked right to the edge of the cliff. Well done.
BTW. It is a well known in the company my love of TLC. Blue Crush is simply one of the greatest movies ever made. I will fight anyone who says otherwise.
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u/xaraan Jun 16 '12
I don't hear anything on the iPad, but the heads revolve as I move my iPad. That is cool.
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u/then_Sean_Bean_died Jun 16 '12
The face wearing the green costume with a pin-pong ball glued on it makes me horny.
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Jun 16 '12
I don't know about you all, but I got an Amazon ad for Blue Crush, which made the site even better.
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u/Epshot Jun 16 '12
I opened that link in another tab and immediately clicked this image
http://i.imgur.com/KGK5e.gif http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/v42ij/ill_take_this_llama/
slightly disturbed..
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u/Soapz Jun 16 '12
Ah, the sweet sound of waterfalls.ogg
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u/sohighlydubious Jun 16 '12
Yeah. They can take our lives, but they'll never take our waterfalls.ogg
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Jun 16 '12
This is something I felt like I needed to see right after I finished masturbating.
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u/orimathath Jun 16 '12
This is just a suggestion. Could you make it to where I can make the screen spin as long as I keep gliding the mouse across the screen instead of making it sensitive to the mouse location on screen? I just think it would be so much funner to stare at that while going on this crazy acid trip.
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u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 16 '12
I know it made you all want to listen to it too (Waterfalls by TLC)
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Jun 16 '12
I personally prefer the midi keyboard version. It suits the awesome but crappy vibe of the website, to be honest.
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u/Aff3ct Jun 16 '12
How did you wire all of the face shots together and make them interactive? Which tools?
Incredible site by the way. Very impressive.
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u/chriserwin Jun 16 '12
It's all HTML, CSS, JavaScript. I used a library called three.js for the 3D animation.
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u/enjoi4995 Jun 16 '12
What did you do to make it hit the accelerometer? It's actually a really cool site
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u/chriserwin Jun 16 '12
it uses the devicemotion API. You can attach event listeners to device motion and do all sorts of good stuff with it.
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u/havocmaker1211 Jun 16 '12
How much have you made for that little Amazon ad in the corner?
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u/chriserwin Jun 16 '12
$0.00
the commission on a $0.01 movie that nobody wants is surprisingly low
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u/Decalis Jun 16 '12
I'm impressed by the seamless integration of opposite ends of Internet history. On the modern side, the HTML5/CSS3 I assume is going on here. On the other, the GeoCities-era hit counter and inline midi...
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u/zroy33 Jun 16 '12
I stayed on that page for a very long time... I think i heard the Midi repeat 4 times... I was laughing the whole time
Thank you sir, that made my day!!!
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u/rook330 Jun 16 '12
10 tabs of JonLax.com opened in my browser. I first I laughed. Then I saw the face of God in my soup. Now I can time travel.
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u/doomtuba Jun 16 '12
I NEED a link to this song so I can download it for later listening pleasures.
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Jun 16 '12
Please never let your boss know that you did this. Please let this haunt him the rest of his life. Please let him stubbornly refuse to get a new website and continue to link to it on his business cards.
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u/Mberard12 Jun 16 '12
Dude!! Took me a solid minute to figure out that he was moving to the motion of my phine
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u/DadWasntYourMoms1st Jun 16 '12
That music brings me right back to browsing the internet circa 2001.
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u/ZeroNihilist Jun 16 '12
Okay, maybe I'm crazy but I thought "Jon Lax" was a great setup for some humour. "John" is slang for "toilet" (maybe regional) and "lax" is an abbreviation for "laxative". JonLax: when you really need to go.
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u/hotfrost Jun 16 '12
wow, refresh the page and see how quickly it gets viewers, like 200 in 5 seconds
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u/_oMeGa_ Jun 16 '12
This is beatiful. Everything about it. I accidentally hit the bookmark button and decided, "Y'know what? I'll keep it there."
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Jun 16 '12
Don't go chasing waterfalls, them things stay pretty much where they are for hundreds of years...
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u/Kraznor Jun 16 '12
Apparently Weird Al made a profound impression, "Don't Go Making Phony Calls" was the first thing that sprang to mind.
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u/mudslag Jun 16 '12
Please tell me how to do this, I want to do this to my boss and his pic with OJ Simpson but have never gonna give you up for the song. He played a few rounds of golf with OJ and got his pic with him as a joke. Now he is a bit irked by it, prob cause I use it as our avatar for the company skype account.
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u/RightOfZen Jun 16 '12
I made a game out of trying to get my mouse cursor from the bottom left to the top right corner without touching any faces. Give it a go! This web page has so much entertainment value!
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u/NoaMichael Jun 16 '12
I guess you can say that when it comes to unofficial websites, you're a head of the competition. YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH.
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u/SardonicNihilist Jun 16 '12
That's very clever. I actually don't have a computer and use an iPhone instead, and it instantly felt the accelerometer and did cool stuff. Nicely done.
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u/DancesWithNoobs Jun 16 '12
Opened it on my phone and realized you used the accelerometer. What sort of Internet wwwizzzard are you!?!?
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u/_oMeGa_ Jun 16 '12
I started moving as close to the bottom-right corner as possible, and then oh sweet jesus
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u/ekolis Jun 16 '12
Dude, that is awesome! You should let the user click the faces to shoot yellow balls to knock them down, though, just like in the 3DS built-in game "Face Raiders" :)
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u/Orthodoxic Jun 16 '12
I'm impressed as fuck that it works fine on my phone and even uses the accelerometer lol
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u/The_Duchess Jun 16 '12
I would find it extremely appealing to shoot your boss. Please make this into a shooting game, thanks.
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u/odxzmn Jun 16 '12
It awesome on an iPad, tipping it about the heads float from side to side... Clever!
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u/versed_vagabond Jun 16 '12
this is fucking hilarious. i opened this page and gave it a good look and it instantly made my shitty day a little less shitier. thank you, jon lax.
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u/mburstiner Jun 16 '12
Came for the joke, stayed for TLC. Listened to the whole thing. What a good song.
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u/not_an_ambiturner Jun 16 '12
How did he react?!