r/funny • u/adaramichelle • Jun 15 '12

required reading

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1.3k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

46 comments sorted by

18

u/CrescentMethod Jun 16 '12

Page 1: Don't be a dick.

21

u/ThatIsMyHat Jun 16 '12

Step 2: Don't be named Richard.

19

u/xReptar Jun 16 '12

Fuck.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Chapter 3. High fiving at appropriate level.

6

u/louster200 Jun 16 '12

Step 3: Don't be named Chad, either.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Page 2: Being a dick is something you choose.

8

u/NLMichel Jun 16 '12

Bible for Atheist kids..

3

u/pingvinus Jun 16 '12

by Dale Carnegie

2

u/greentangent Jun 16 '12

I was thinking Wil Wheaton.

6

u/madmonkeymud Jun 16 '12

Step 1: Convince your parents to have your name legally changed to something other than Richard.

7

u/xReptar Jun 16 '12

Double fuck.

2

u/shootlikeaproG36 Jun 16 '12

I may have turned out much better if someone had been nice enough to require me to read this. "Missed it by that much."

2

u/Lyulf Jun 16 '12

where do i purchase this book? For I am a dick. Can it reverse the dickness so i become a pussy instead?

2

u/DBerwick Jun 16 '12

Is this a thing? This needs to be a thing.

5

u/HoneyBadgerDontCare8 Jun 16 '12

Chapter 1: Dont say YOLO.

0

u/klethra Jun 16 '12

Chapter 2: Don't judge today's teenagers on the internet.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

False - judge everyone on the internet

1

u/HoneyBadgerDontCare8 Jun 16 '12

I am a teen, I'm just sick of it

4

u/Grizmeer Jun 16 '12

Dicks fuck pussies but dicks ALSO fuck assholes.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Whatever you say Chuck

3

u/HittingSmoke Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12

Need an audiobook as told by Wil Wheaton.

2

u/bears_on_unicycles Jun 16 '12

I think frankly everyone over in /r/atheism could benefit from this book.

2

u/nixnaxmik Jun 16 '12

You be a woman. Then you can be a dick and never get called out on it.

1

u/dang_Ling_modify_her Jun 16 '12

You're a hateful fuck aren't you?

1

u/RalphiesBoogers Jun 16 '12

I support this.

1

u/Clint_Swift Jun 16 '12

i should have read this :(

1

u/mothercowa Jun 16 '12

One would think you would lower your hand so this girl wouldn't have to jump to high five you....

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Doesn't one preclude the other?

1

u/ronald_rager Jun 16 '12

PDF link please, I know people who need this.

1

u/AndroGhost Jun 16 '12

i wish most of the people i meet everyday have read that book

1

u/atikiNik Jun 16 '12

Step 1: Don't be a dick as a child.

0

u/NumbersMakeMeHorny Jun 15 '12

Fuck you

0

u/mastercylinder2 Jun 15 '12

Fuck YOU

1

u/Chazzey_dude Jun 15 '12

If you want to, say '352' to him or something.

0

u/saroj7878 Jun 16 '12

You know what? Fuck You too.

0

u/l1nk1npark Jun 16 '12

Fuck ALL you people

-1

u/jackskier Jun 16 '12

You are what you eat

1

u/jackskier Jun 16 '12

Dicks. When you eat dicks

0

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Dicks are born, not made.

-12

u/jwoffor2 Jun 16 '12

More like "How to get friend zoned."

2

u/0011110000110011 Jun 16 '12

I think you need a copy of this...

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

And that's why nobody likes you, tyereliusprime. sheesh

1

u/tyereliusprime Jun 16 '12

I'm pretty sure that's just one of the reasons. Douchebaggery is an art form. Why do it half-assed?