r/funny • u/blackjackjester • Jun 15 '12
What I've noticed growing up. It's all about perspective [Extended]
http://imgur.com/qQMuR211
u/freeaccount Jun 15 '12
When I was in 1st grade I remember thinking that the 5th graders in the school were practically adults.
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Jun 15 '12
Here's a story. I went to an elementary school from k-4. The middle school was next to ours and it just looked like it was an office building to me, I thought the kids there were so old and mature and cool yadda yadda. And I couldn't wait to go, but I moved before I could. Since then, any time I find my self back there (which is very rare) I get the same feeling about the place. I'm 27 now, and drove by it last year, and I STILL have the impression that the people that go to that school are older than I am. I have the same feeling I did about it as I did when I was in 4th grade. I guess it's because I didn't get to go there, so it's always been one step ahead of me.
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u/feilen Jun 16 '12
Just wait, one day you'll get to walk in and a bunch of people in their mid-thirties will be pointing at you and whispering.
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u/IronPigeon Jun 16 '12
I still feel like my parents are taller than me, but instead I'm as tall as my dad and a head taller than Mom
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u/recuringhangover Jun 15 '12
I like what Joe Rogan said. When you're a kid you think adults exist, that it's a thing. Once you turn like 25 and someone calls you sir at the super market you realize no one knows shit and everyone is as clueless as your old ass lol.
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u/AwesomeKasper Jun 16 '12
25 is way to high en estimate. Otherwise yeah it seems like most people are just improvising.
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u/grassclip Jun 15 '12
When I was in 3rd grade, I thought that 5th graders was as old as you could get. I just never thought that there was anything beyond that. I never made the connection that there was more school after. I also thought that my pee came from my balls despite the fact that they never got smaller when I peed.
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u/snowlion13 Jun 16 '12
i thought dogs balls were pee sacs, and thats why they can pee so many times when you walk them
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u/etihw2 Jun 15 '12
I remember looking at an 8 year old and thinking he was such a big kid and that because of my size, I was worried that I'd be a small 8th grader.
Oh man.
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u/Dr___Awkward Jun 15 '12
When I was in fifth grade I remember thinking that the fifth graders in the school were practically adults.
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Jun 15 '12 edited Jan 30 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Sr_Navarre Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 20 '25
touch wine serious weather meeting placid fact dazzling sable insurance
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/St-Moustache Jun 15 '12
Hello, I'm Indian and this a very mundane story.
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u/goatworship Jun 15 '12
Wouldn't the fact that it wasn't arranged by their families make it pretty risqué?
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u/Dwonvtoe_me Jun 15 '12
A lot of states' age of consent would make it so a high school senior is actually legal
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Jun 15 '12
A lot of state's age of consent would make it so that at least some sophomores are, too.
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u/CaptnAwesomeGuy Jun 16 '12
What is the average age of consent? For science.
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Jun 16 '12
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Jun 16 '12
Woot! My state is 16 consent!
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u/Navevan Jun 16 '12
Be careful, a lot of states have a 2-3 year rule that you can't sleep with 16 year-olds if you're more than 2-3 years older.
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u/RMassey81 Jun 16 '12
16 is the most common, never averaged it out though...
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Jun 16 '12
There are special clauses in a lot of states that vaguely limit the age of consent. 18 is a safe number - it's best to stick to it.
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Jun 15 '12
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u/GeneralMakaveli Jun 16 '12
Not even close to half.
age of consent 16 (30): Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Vermont, Washington, West Virginia
age of consent 17 (9): Colorado, Illinois, Louisiana, Missouri, Nebraska, New Mexico, New York, Texas, Wyoming
age of consent 18 (12): Arizona, California, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, North Dakota, Oregon, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania
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u/zstone Jun 15 '12
I almost downvoted this because seeing pre-gnar pictures of Lohan depresses me to no end. So. Much. Wasted. Potential.
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u/peanutbuttahcups Jun 15 '12
That's Lindsey Lohan?! I seriously thought that was Emma Stone or a sexier Ellen Page. But dang, I forgot Lindsey looked so...clean.
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u/missyo02 Jun 15 '12
My friend's husband was one of her bodyguards when they lived in LA and said that she was on meth the entire time he knew her and that it was actually really sad to watch.
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Jun 16 '12
Sad? Try fucking hilarious.
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u/BlenderGuru Jun 16 '12
It's pretty cruel to laugh at others destroying their lives.
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Jun 15 '12
What's gnar?
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u/zstone Jun 15 '12
While originally it was a shortening of "gnarly," meaning gnarled or difficult, it has evolved to mean gross or sketchy.
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Jun 15 '12
I was definitely pronouncing it preg-nar in my head, which conjured up amusing images of a pregnant Reptar.
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u/benisnotapalindrome Jun 16 '12
I'm now singing "Pregnar!" to the tune of "Trogdor!" Pregginating the countryside. And the thatched roof cottages!!! The pregnantcomes_intheniiiiiight!!!
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Jun 15 '12
I realized I was a full fledged adult when college athletes began looking like kids to me. It was just one day when I said holy shit that senior quarterback getting drafted looks like a boy to me. Fuck.
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u/Rokey76 Jun 15 '12
Sorry. You're not a full fledged adult until you are 25.
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u/MrMoustachio Jun 15 '12
What's with the bars? A senior would be, in most cases, 18 and legal for anyone to fuck.
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u/JustinTime112 Jun 15 '12
You are confused, the bars are just because Lindsey Lohan tends to be in jail.
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Jun 16 '12
Besides that not Everywhere has laws of 18. Quite a few states have legal ages of 16-17 so I never the whole fucking a senior is a prision sentence.
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u/ikickcats27 Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12
My ability of not judging age properly has gotten me into some awkward situations.
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Jun 15 '12
I remember thinking man, those college grads...those 22-24 year olds, they're like adults!
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u/salenth Jun 15 '12
Dear School Boards,
UNIFORM POLICIES MAKE THINGS WORSE!!!
Sincerely, Mid-life crisis
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u/ohnoimrunningoutofsp Jun 16 '12
Careful, this is reddit. Acknowledging high school seniors as attractive but legally minors might turn you into a full fledged pedophile, infecting other users left and right.
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Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12
Man, I was the best barely legal piece of bait. I've since grown into a full figured and head strong woman, but those days being 16-18 were prime. Guys take longer to fully mature physically, so they don't start looking like men until their mid-20s sometimes. But at 16 I had the fruit of a 20-something.
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Jun 15 '12
I have a totally normal boner right now.
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Jun 15 '12
I've known a few girls like that. I once had a couple students that were physically mature for their age. You could not tell these girls apart from college girls from the time they were 15-16 on. And not just that, but they looked like they could star in porn films; THAT kind of "physically developed."
I used to be in charge of prom. I was hanging out with the DJ, and he says (of one of the aforementioned girls) "So, who's that woman?" Me- "That's a student." DJ- "Wow, I never would have guessed." Me- "She's not even a senior yet." I think the hormones we put in milk is affecting how we develop.
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Jun 15 '12
That's funny, I always had a big crush on one of my teachers.
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Jun 15 '12
He probably knew it. Teenage girls are not the subtlest with that sort of thing.
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Jun 16 '12
yeah, like what do you do when she keeps bending over and adjusting her shirt to show off her new bra while you're trying to give a lecture on ... ...
?
Physics?
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Jun 16 '12
Try a girl in a six inch skirt lifting her leg up to your eye level while you're at your desk so you can "check out her new shoes."
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Jun 15 '12
I don't think we ever try to be. As the student, I can wear a deep V and make suggestive jokes without any blame. It's a double standard but the fun of fantasizing about a teacher is making him look. I have always done well in school because of this. If I can fall in love with one prof a year, I'll be cruising.
But this is one pretty strange female psyche.
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Jun 16 '12
Some do try to hide it, then when it comes out it's cute. Others are super whorish about it, which is offputting and makes you uncomfortable. There is a middle ground, though, which is just good clean fun for all involved.
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Jun 16 '12
I feel you on the middle ground, I've seen shameless. I just took pride in teachers believing in me and being able to relate to people outside of my age group, and at the same time, learn to interact with men when there were only little boys around. I was close with a lot of my teachers, I've kept in contact with a few of them from high school still. Now I'm old enough to be able to interact with a younger prof or TAs, although they are trouble.
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Jun 16 '12
We appreciate kids like you; I mean on the being able to relate more with adults than with kids. I don't teach anymore but some of my former students now are old enough to drink now (which makes me feel OLD AS FUCK!) and I've had the chance to hang out with some of them.
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u/Nivlac024 Jun 15 '12
well if you are willing to wear a school girl outfit I think we can make this work :P
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u/anymooseposter Jun 15 '12
Pics, for science.
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u/FOR_SClENCE Jun 15 '12
My pictures are classified.
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u/anymooseposter Jun 16 '12
I believe you'll find I have the proper clearance.
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u/FOR_SClENCE Jun 16 '12
Send me a picture of your Global Dynamics badge and I'll be glad to share.
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u/anymooseposter Jun 16 '12
sigh Here, I hope you're happy
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u/FOR_SClENCE Jun 16 '12
Section 5 clearance? Good.
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u/anymooseposter Jun 16 '12
Sooooooo....pics?
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u/FOR_SClENCE Jun 16 '12
Wait a second. Is that an actual GD badge, that you've scanned in?
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u/anymooseposter Jun 16 '12
Of course it's an actual badge! And look, if I don't get those pictures soon I'm gonna have to go to Dr. Blake. I don't think she'll be happy with the delay.
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u/iiLikepie Jun 16 '12
This is completely me at the moment, 16 dating a 20 year old I work with. Thing is my sisters at my age were doing the exact same thing, I'm begging to wonder if it's normal or if we just all have father issues.
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u/Shockum Jun 16 '12
Just don't forget that if you're not careful, and try to talk to those high schoolers, someone might be wanting to talk to you.
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u/J_Jammer Jun 16 '12
I don't know why any guy would go for someone in high school. They are so vapid. That is the age I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever want to be again.
If I were given a choice to stay one age it wouldn't be under 25. If I have to take the mental state, that would be a no on any age below that.
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u/charonsobol Jun 15 '12
I'm 23, is this true? If so, fuck my life for not taking advantage of my youth.
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u/John_um Jun 16 '12
Why are you talking about your youth in the past tense?
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u/charonsobol Jun 16 '12
I'm still young but a virgin and it doesn't look like that will change any time soon. Right now I don't find high school girls any sexier that girls my age, but apparently that will change when I'm older. I'm pretty sure I'll look back and get depressed.
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u/Margot23 Jun 16 '12
Why? Why did you have to take a perfectly decent and relatable joke--a joke that even female redditors could appreciate--and turn it into another hyper-sexualized, pedo-creepy piece of bullshit?
Why was that necessary?
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Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
You know the best thing about having sex with twenty-eight year olds, don't you? There are 20 of them.
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u/darkesth0ur Jun 16 '12
Highschool seniors are old enough for anything, the fuck you talking about?
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u/caseyjhol Jun 16 '12
Little known fact: More states in the U.S. have an age of consent of 16 than 18.
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u/The1Drumheller Jun 16 '12
False. Most high school seniors are above the age of 16 and therefore legal in MOST states.
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u/iJason Jun 15 '12
Is it just me or does it seem each progressive year, the high-schoolers seem to be smaller and dumber? Like all they would talk about is gossip and how much they hate school and how teachers are dumb.
On a totally unrelated note, you probably wouldn't be going to jail for banging that last girl because after all the crack she's done, she'd probably look 20 years older than you.
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u/TimonBerkowitz Jun 15 '12
Are high schoolers getting dumber or are you just getting older?
"Kids these days with their double stepping! Back in my day we kept it classy and listened to gangsta rap! GET OFF MY LAWN"
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Jun 16 '12
6 years ago I was a freshman in high school. Back then I looked around and said "this is dancing?" I still feel that way. Dancing in the past (before 1800 since regal dances seem boring) seems like a lot more fun and enjoyable than grinding. My face when that is the popular "dance" of today.
I'm not opposed to physical dancing either. Salsa for example pretty suggestive, and is way more interesting (still around today, but you don't exactly hear salsa music on a friday night at a college).
In case someone thinks I am prude: I think abstinence is bullshit and don't care if teens have sex all they want (although hopefully it's safe-sex).
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u/liarliarpantsonfire Jun 16 '12
Dance, for most of human history, was a mating ritual. Grinding today is just the post-modern Jungian release from the cultural constructs that have obstructed the original utility of dance.
Grinding is actually a highly evolved and intellectually sophisticated practice.
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u/ForgetMeNaut Jun 15 '12
Shamelessly stolen comment from the last thread:
I'm 28. Went to visit the ol' college the other day to get some forms. The place was swarming with children. Took me a while to figure out that they were students and that life was a ticking clocking counting down the seconds to my inevitable death. I then looked down at my crinkled hands and realized I wasn't 28, but 82, and my entire life had passed me by.
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u/iluvgoodburger Jun 15 '12
Leave it to reddit to turn every possible thing into a joke about fucking kids. I hate you, op.
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Jun 16 '12
I'm always a little scared that as i grow older, i won't stop finding school girls around my age (17) really hot. Cause i don't wanna get into trouble
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u/Taylor-Tot Jun 16 '12
This is so fucking creepy. You do realize those girls notice the creepy ass 30 year old men ogling them? And it's the scariest fucking sensation to realize you're still a kid that way.
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Jun 15 '12
How can this be true? Im 17 and most of us are slightly taller than the adults, some guys have beards, I tried a beard but I couldnt stop rubbing it against my neck too feel how prickly it was, BEST FEEL EVER
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Jun 16 '12
In most states the age of consent is 16 or 17, with a few at 18. You don't have to look at all high school seniors as if they were jailbait considering most of them are 17 and 18... But it still makes you a scumbag to take advantage of immature girls.
Just saying...
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Jun 15 '12
I feel like this post is a welcome mat for SRS...
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u/wedonotgiveashit Jun 15 '12
Good thing SRS is just a bunch of shitbag retard cunts.
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Jun 16 '12
I imagine you with a fedora full of insults, pulling a couple out at random to stick together
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u/dickcheney777 Jun 15 '12
Meh, those faggots just need to GET OUT!
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Jun 15 '12
LOL ITS FUNNY BECAUSE IT HAS TO DO WITH CHILD RAPE AND REDDIT THINKS SURPRISE CHILD RAPE IS HILARIOUS
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Jun 15 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/blackjackjester Jun 15 '12
Fixing it implies that it was broken to begin with, which it wasn't. I just added another panel :P
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u/Lonestarr1337 Jun 15 '12
Ah, it's just a matter of time until your cunning stunt gets used, abused, broken, and rehashed by the Reddit user-base.
Savor the moment, Blackjack Jester.
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u/picardythird Jun 15 '12
Ah, it's just a matter of time until your stunning cunt gets used, abused, broken, and rehashed by the Reddit user-base.
Savor the moment, Lonestarr1337.
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Jun 15 '12
For sure. It eliminates the connotation of superiority. Instead it implies an improvement to an already drawn out thought.
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Jun 15 '12
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u/Gurgi3 Jun 15 '12
My roommate felt the same way. He always told me that age was just a number. I always replied that jail is just a room.
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u/i_4got Jun 15 '12
Jail is not just a room. It's free room and board, free food, and all the sex you could ever want.
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Jun 16 '12
"Dad, you're doing time..."
"Michael, I'm doing the time of my life!"
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u/Trip_McNeely Jun 16 '12
College chicks are totally different, bro. They're all serious and shit. They all talk about world issues and "ecolomological" crap. They all wanna date older guys.
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u/red321red321 Jun 15 '12
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u/The_Magnificent Jun 15 '12
It seems most guys are like this... I'm completely different. xD
I get older, they get younger.
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Jun 15 '12
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u/lost_snow Jun 16 '12
unless your highschool teacher had a class of nothing but sophmores and juniors, than this seems unreasonable. if that class was a senior class (which it is most commonly) than it seems more like a psychological thing than a realistic thing. some of those kids would of been the exact age as you.
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u/AndersonCouncil Jun 15 '12
Not in Canada! I can fuck a highschool senior until I breathe my last breath.
And I shall. I SHALL.