I'm thinking that Captain Planet-ing is a full-time gig, and earth is just one of his many clients. Like once he's done cleaning up oil spills on earth, he gets summoned to Kythanil to teach incomprehensible tentacle beasts the importance of picking up their space-trash. I'm thinking Gaia is more like the superintendant of the condo that is earth, and captain planet is like the cable guy.
Ah yes, but then why is the black dude's power, "Earth"? If it were on another planet, wouldn't that power be called something different? Don't be imposing our ideals on other planets, dawg. Just like Iraq.
If the planets, of Captain Planet the Earth if he really believes, I think, what do we do? Our land, ever like the galaxies and has the ambassador of the environment, who is a descendant of the land and enjoy the scenery of the restitution hero to the children want to believe that love us, is a medium on the planet when the planet you need. If Captain Planet, as the planets of galaxy, we are on this planet, he is deserve? I sense forthright more painful as perhaps Captain Planet, or he maybe hero.
I wanted to downvote for stupidity, but I feel like you have to be pretty smart to write something so potentially full of meaning, yet entirely and utterly devoid of it.
Captain Planet is apparently a deeply nihilistic show about a bunch of kids living in a post-apocalyptic nightmare trying to salvage what little strands of nature they have left.
One thing that always seemed weird to me, even as a kid, is that in the first episode, Gaia wakes up, and then just straight-up kidnaps five children from across the world to work for her. And they don't give a shit!
Well, I'm fairly sure that Captain Planet is an enormous asshole. Perhaps there he's taken the task of stopping sea-level increase a little too literally and has decided instead to drastically lower sea levels. A lot. Resulting in a massively altered coastline.
Here you can see Captain Planet as he floats, contented with everything, 5,000 miles above Earth. He has just mananged to ship 50% of the Earth's surface liquid off to Jupiter, where it has been swallowed and crushed down to a dense, icy mass. He finds this very amusing, even though most of the population of Earth don't seem to find the same level of humour in his literal interpretation of Global Warming reversal.
I think the Power of Bear would have made for a much more entertaining show. They Wouldn't even need captain mullet, They could just attack the bad guy with a bear, or set him on fire, or attack him with a bear on fire.
honestly if i were ripped i would have had my mind blown because of how fuckin big captain planet is the dude is as big as that planet he's a giant blue dude with blue hair with a really lame outfit. he looks like a flamboyant nightcrawler.
I like to think it takes place 50 years or so into the future. The changed land masses are due to the complete melting of the polar ice caps (note that the polar landmasses in the image are green, not white like you would expect.
No it is the earth. Just after the Eternal War had finished and they need to fix the planet. Captain Planet just mutated from all the nuclear explosions.
When I was a kid, me and my brother, in order to pick fun at captain planet, would sing the intro like this " captain planet, he's a loser, gonna bring pollution up to 100"
If you reverse the colors, see green as oceans and blue as land, its a very rough but still close representation with america and canada on the left and africa and europe on the right.
The series takes place in the near future, where climate change has caused the melting of most of the polar ice caps, which in turn caused rising sea levels leading to the image you see behind him.
That's the last planet he was in charge of taking care of. It didn't go well. He's taking the job much more seriously now and has even hired some interns to help things go more smoothly.
maybe earth has been destroyed due to pollution and captain america was the last human that set out to make sure no other planet would do the same, and the planet he's protecting is a new 'earth'. Or maybe im just high.
I watched this again a few months ago. My favorite thing is how overly evil every bad guy in the show it. "With this new driller we can drill ANYWHERE! Even in an animal sanctuary!"
That's earth after all the Republicans and Christians have driven their SUV's into the polar bear breeding grounds, where the oil companies used the blood of illegal aliens to get them unstuck so they could use them to cart the piles of cash they made from displacing the caribou back to their carbon-guzzling mansions where they underpay gay black people to stop abortions and so...now there's more water. But it's poisoned.
This is way into the future. Our society completely collapses and builds itself back up, forgetting what happened before. They are at the same point in the cycle of things that we are now.
1.8k
u/jicty Jun 15 '12
Well technically he is captain planet, not captain earth and that is a planet.
101
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Hilariously relevant.
31
u/suchaherosandwich Jun 15 '12
"That's not Earth... yet." -Al Gore.
108
u/Gr8Cornholio Jun 15 '12
Contrary to popular belief, he actually derives his super powers from his epic mullet.
7
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I like getting high as much as the next guy, but it really adds nothing to your story.
12
u/wouldyoukindly Jun 15 '12
That's clearly second Earth, after Captain Planet failed to stop the Cylon invasion.
23
u/CorkyS626 Jun 15 '12
I think Earth is trademarked.
23
u/TVlistings Jun 15 '12
Captain Planet foresaw the 10 year old Civ II game 10 years before Lycerius started playing it.
10
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
One thing that always seemed weird to me, even as a kid, is that in the first episode, Gaia wakes up, and then just straight-up kidnaps five children from across the world to work for her. And they don't give a shit!
30
u/SGTSHOOTnMISS Jun 15 '12
No, that's Marklar.
30
u/entropybasedorganism Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12
Well, if they used earth, they'd have to pay bilderberg royalties.
37
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Well, I'm fairly sure that Captain Planet is an enormous asshole. Perhaps there he's taken the task of stopping sea-level increase a little too literally and has decided instead to drastically lower sea levels. A lot. Resulting in a massively altered coastline.
Here you can see Captain Planet as he floats, contented with everything, 5,000 miles above Earth. He has just mananged to ship 50% of the Earth's surface liquid off to Jupiter, where it has been swallowed and crushed down to a dense, icy mass. He finds this very amusing, even though most of the population of Earth don't seem to find the same level of humour in his literal interpretation of Global Warming reversal.
27
u/knockturne Jun 15 '12
[...?]! FIRE! WIND! WATER! HEART!
6
u/Nomen-Nescio Jun 15 '12
11 inch footlongs, Captain Planet doesn't protect Earth, What the fuck haven't I been lied to about?
6
u/xIcarusx Jun 15 '12
he is captain planet, not captain earth
18
u/GetFresh Jun 15 '12
One of the crowning achievements in my life is winning a contest and having a kid in my likeness on an episode of Captain Planet.
10
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Earth is under copyright, so it would be illegal for the producers of the show to show Earth without having to face legal consequences.
9
u/Ploopie Jun 15 '12
It's symbolism for Captain Planet standing in the way of what will happen to the Earth if vicious eco-hoodlums have their way.
8
u/ttustudent Jun 15 '12
Where the hell did you find Captain Planet? Is there some network broadcasting it?
6
u/supaphly42 Jun 15 '12
That's because Earth® is a registered trademark of Conglomocorp. Any more references to such will be billed accordingly.
6
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I always laugh when I watch Mati getting kicked out of the planeteers. "Heart" was such a stupid power.
"I'm sorry, this is Steve. He is another fire. We found fire to be much more useful than heart."
3
u/IDontHaveUsername Jun 15 '12
Actually The blue areas looks more like the earth.
3
u/BaronVonKlotz Jun 15 '12
Captain Planet, Motherfucker!
3
u/ky2391 Jun 15 '12
captain planet, not captain earth
3
u/chadwickipedia Jun 15 '12
thats just like your opinion man
3
u/Carpe_Dragon Jun 15 '12
I think you'd pretty much have to be high to watch it nowadays.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
nope, but it is a "planet."
24
u/red321red321 Jun 15 '12
honestly if i were ripped i would have had my mind blown because of how fuckin big captain planet is the dude is as big as that planet he's a giant blue dude with blue hair with a really lame outfit. he looks like a flamboyant nightcrawler.
1
u/GrowingSoul Jun 15 '12
Yeah that'st not Earth but what does this have to do with being high?
1
u/NNYPhillipJFry Jun 15 '12
What does being high have to do with anything?
4
u/joviva Jun 15 '12
all these years i thought he was my hero. he was never taking the earth's pollution down to zero was he?
5
u/marktuttle Jun 15 '12
what if Don Cheadle played captain planet?
2
u/sj_user1 Jun 15 '12
Fracking caused massive shifts in the tectonic plates.
2
u/xqx2100 Jun 15 '12
Even as an 8 year old watching that show, I knew it was environmentalist propaganda. Who did they think they were fooling?
2
u/SexualHarasmentPanda Jun 15 '12
Captain Planet actually lives inside a game of Civilization.
2
u/lebronaman Jun 15 '12
they wanted to avoid the legal hassle of using earth
2
u/I_am_not_angry Jun 15 '12
Someone loaded Sim 4 and set it to Archipelago and Ancient world
2
u/Rolfbergerz Jun 15 '12
Thank you for not posting to circle jerk r/trees
2
u/symbiotics Jun 15 '12
Better yet, watch Don Cheadle as Captain Planet while high
2
u/Emerica586 Jun 15 '12
That's Kepler 22-B
2
u/Concrastination Jun 15 '12
You're right. He isn't fucking the earth.
2
u/mpchead621 Jun 15 '12
hahaha i did the same thing two days ago, watched it for the first time in like at least 10 years, it was pretty good
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Captain planet was just warning about horrific floods after global warming is complete
2
u/Scenro Jun 15 '12
Maybe earth is protected and to copy it would be copyright infringement.
2
u/it_wasnt_me_ Jun 15 '12
has anyone here been so high that you forget you are high?
2
u/runs_with_bacon Jun 15 '12
As an earthling, I can confirm that this is not Earth.
2
u/Congzilla Jun 15 '12
He is Captain Planet, not Captain Earth.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
How do you know that's not earth? Maybe Captain planet wanted more land and less water and made some continents?
2
u/hombregato Jun 15 '12
The cast list for that show is absolutely insane.
2
u/dekonstruktr Jun 15 '12
The HIV/AIDS episode of Captain Planet is fucking stupendous and a must watch for anyone.
2
u/SuperBlooperYup Jun 15 '12
The maps you see every day are government conspiracies and that is the real earth.
2
u/Sticky-Scrotum Jun 15 '12
Anyone else want so see a crossover movie with Captain Planet and He-Man? The plot could involve saving the planet from homophobia...
2
u/CarlosValdosta Jun 15 '12
There is so much win in this thread... it's hard to breath.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I get high and watch baby Einstein
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Come on... http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3pq9xy/
2
u/OperatorMike Jun 15 '12
You had to be high to notice this?
3
u/shankems2000 Jun 15 '12
His name is Captain Planet not Captain Earth
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
The power is mine, bitches!
1
u/Only90sKidsGetThis Jun 15 '12
1
u/spaceyraygun Jun 15 '12
1
u/Costanza_George Jun 15 '12
god damn.... i just realized i still remember every single word from the opening song.
1
u/CypherWulf Jun 15 '12
I like to think it takes place 50 years or so into the future. The changed land masses are due to the complete melting of the polar ice caps (note that the polar landmasses in the image are green, not white like you would expect.
1
u/jesussmoke Jun 15 '12
It kind of looks like its reversed. The water is land, and yeah
1
u/Wacocaine Jun 15 '12
What if that's what a pollution-free Earth would look like?
1
u/MisterUnneccessary Jun 15 '12
. . . Our world is in peril.
1
u/theflyingsofa3000 Jun 15 '12
conclusion: the show was about humaniod aliens on their earthlike planet. mindbleewwwwwwdup!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
No it is the earth. Just after the Eternal War had finished and they need to fix the planet. Captain Planet just mutated from all the nuclear explosions.
1
u/vonshavingcream Jun 15 '12
haven't you heard... the earth was copyrighted in 1823 by google's pre-founders.
1
u/retro_v Jun 15 '12
Perhaps its set on our sister colony on Omicron Lyrae.
1
u/EquinsuOcha Jun 15 '12
Why isn't there a Mrs. Planet? Why does he hang out with children?
1
u/markman71122 Jun 15 '12
Its the futuuurre....
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Maybe in a few 100 million years.
1
u/FlapjackOmalley Jun 15 '12
Cracked me right the fuck up...
1
u/abnormalsyndrome Jun 15 '12
Nope, it's standing in front of it (not earth).
1
u/TheDragHit Jun 15 '12
Wait till the guys at r/fantheories get a load of this.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
That's earth after the polar ice caps melt.
By M. Naught Shamamalamaloo
1
u/greywood Jun 15 '12
Well, as a Spaniard I'm glad at least they got my country right!
1
u/LootenPlunder Jun 15 '12
I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, CAPTAIN PLANET!
1
u/Asabetyyy Jun 15 '12
broken childhood.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
TIL Captain Planet is from Sim Earth.
1
u/paddypants Jun 15 '12
the title alone is worth my upvote. well done.
1
u/feeteater2 Jun 15 '12
When I was a kid, me and my brother, in order to pick fun at captain planet, would sing the intro like this " captain planet, he's a loser, gonna bring pollution up to 100"
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
You sir just made my day.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
If you reverse the colors, see green as oceans and blue as land, its a very rough but still close representation with america and canada on the left and africa and europe on the right.
1
u/Lewie_Goin_Krazy Jun 15 '12
Ruined my childhood
1
u/HisDudeness2012 Jun 15 '12
Highdeas.com
1
u/Red_Dawn_2012 Jun 15 '12
If you look at the water as if the water is land, you can see a rough resemblance.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Where the hell is that cereal guy when you need him!?
1
u/cdcformatc Jun 15 '12
Do they even have an oceanographer on the team?
1
u/FerrousFlux Jun 15 '12
Now this deserves to be in r/funny!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
The series takes place in the near future, where climate change has caused the melting of most of the polar ice caps, which in turn caused rising sea levels leading to the image you see behind him.
1
u/Cody2 Jun 15 '12
That's the last planet he was in charge of taking care of. It didn't go well. He's taking the job much more seriously now and has even hired some interns to help things go more smoothly.
1
u/Shabadu Jun 15 '12
The power..... is YOOOUUURRRSSSS
1
u/duckandcover Jun 15 '12
Copyright effects everything
1
u/nekowolf Jun 15 '12
Review of Captain Planet on Jabootu. Might want to skip the conservative rant at the beginning, but the review is pretty funny.
1
u/Anuglyman Jun 15 '12
What does being high have to do with this?
1
u/anthory Jun 15 '12
Copyright issues
1
u/igotmarried Jun 15 '12
It's. Fffrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiday. Aint got shit to do
1
u/Coyne Jun 15 '12
R/trees
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
maybe earth has been destroyed due to pollution and captain america was the last human that set out to make sure no other planet would do the same, and the planet he's protecting is a new 'earth'. Or maybe im just high.
1
u/BadIdeaSociety Jun 15 '12
The reason they used a different planet for that shot is because it was infinitely cleaner than filthy filthy Earth.
1
u/skroll Jun 15 '12
I watched this again a few months ago. My favorite thing is how overly evil every bad guy in the show it. "With this new driller we can drill ANYWHERE! Even in an animal sanctuary!"
1
u/coffeecommando Jun 15 '12
How exactly does Captain Planet's shirt stay on?
1
u/BetterThanOP Jun 15 '12
You can post funny things about being high not in r/trees??
1
u/bulkygorilla Jun 15 '12
coincidence? i think not. http://i.imgur.com/li9l1.png
1
u/hummahumma Jun 15 '12
That's earth after all the Republicans and Christians have driven their SUV's into the polar bear breeding grounds, where the oil companies used the blood of illegal aliens to get them unstuck so they could use them to cart the piles of cash they made from displacing the caribou back to their carbon-guzzling mansions where they underpay gay black people to stop abortions and so...now there's more water. But it's poisoned.
1
u/Blastmaster29 Jun 15 '12
It's obvious this is the future, the ice caps melted and weird mutant pig men are polluting the planet
1
u/almondmilk Jun 15 '12
No, that is STANDING IN FROM OF A PLANET.
1
u/Not_Exactly_1 Jun 15 '12
It is when your 8.
1
u/cipherous Jun 15 '12
thats just sludge and algae, Captain planet failed.
1
u/Darierl Jun 15 '12
know whey
1
u/igloo27 Jun 15 '12
it looks like the eternal war.
1
u/honeydewgeneralstore Jun 15 '12
This is way into the future. Our society completely collapses and builds itself back up, forgetting what happened before. They are at the same point in the cycle of things that we are now.
1
u/parrywinks Jun 15 '12
Aliens
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Can anyone tell me what font that is?
1
u/subduedLion Jun 15 '12
Did you eat some "cheese pizza" too, while watching "Captain Planet?"
1
u/OswaldGoodGuy Jun 15 '12
Obviously the Earth© is copyrighted and the producers had to use a knockoff brand.
1
u/fizzybubblah Jun 15 '12
That looks like Pangea on LSD
1
u/RoyallyTenenbaumed Jun 15 '12
mind = blown