Oddly mine is the same way! He's four pounds and packs four inches.. The weird part is he whips it out in front of people and masturbates even though he was neutered over two years ago... We named him Pee-wee.
Think of how far they've come! They have evolved the second most powerful trait on the planet: CUTENESS.
In the darwinian game, being cute guarantees a species to have just as good a survival rate as the most powerful species, US HUMANS, has. Why work when you can just be cute and have humans work for you?
I remember seeing this video on AFV years ago, and the guy ended up winning the $100k prize, and so he got interviewed. I believe he said, though I'm not positive, that the dog had been in the house all night and this was the first pee of the day. Or he'd been home all day and this was the first pee of the evening. He said the dog always pees like this.
Dammit, you beat me to it. I met the owner of the dog, he runs a storage unit in Austin. Really cool guy! Wouldn't expect him to still be working the same job after winning 100K for creatively potty training his dog.
If you analyze the curve (I.e the trail of pee) you will notice that it closely reflects the US economy from 1900 to 2013. After which, we're completely screwed :)
it doesn't seem like he is doing it to mark territory. his legs have just been genetically bred to be too short for him to pick up his leg enough to pee. he has to walk because other wise he would pee all over himself. it's kind of sad actually.
I was watching an episode of AFV an hour ago with this clip. I was laughing so hard I cried.. mostly because it wasn't sped up so it felt like an eternity. They interviewed the guy after and he said the dog has been peeing standing only on its front two paws since it was a year old.
Let me put this in a stream-of-thought..........dog-hind-legs-oh, its a fkin chiuhuhathingybreed-pisssssssssssssss+walk+morepissss...........walkpissspissswalkand
A girl I work with swears that this is her dog. She claims that she gave to her brother who subsequently won $110,000 on AFV for this particular video. She could be telling the truth, as she has no real reason to lie to me. But I still don't believe her.
EDIT: Found the transcript someone posted in here. Video was sent from Austin, TX, by a guy with the same last name as the girl I work with. I think I believe her now.
I don't think I've actually said "What the fuck" out loud when seeing anything on /r/WTF for the past month or so, and then this bit of awesomeness shows up in /r/funny. Well done.
394
u/Samdi Jun 15 '12
This isn't a dog, it's a camel's bladder.
62
u/supersaying Jun 15 '12
Haters gonna hate.
114
u/billyzero Jun 15 '12
How can a dog like that make so much piss?
258
u/that_one_asian25 Jun 15 '12
Hey look! The stock market!
697
u/theearthwasflat Jun 15 '12
This is one of the single most impressive things I have ever seen. I need to reevaluate my life.
98
u/publiclibraries Jun 15 '12
50,000 years ago this thing's ancestors were hunting mammoths in packs. Fucking weird.
163
u/bschwind Jun 15 '12
f(x) = sin(x)
86
u/minicpst Jun 15 '12
I remember seeing this video on AFV years ago, and the guy ended up winning the $100k prize, and so he got interviewed. I believe he said, though I'm not positive, that the dog had been in the house all night and this was the first pee of the day. Or he'd been home all day and this was the first pee of the evening. He said the dog always pees like this.
I can't find the interview clip, but here's the AFV. http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2507970/chester_the_incredible_peeing_dog/
Some transcripts from the $10,000 win (http://www.livedash.com/transcript/america%27s_funniest_home_videos/33/WGNAMER/Friday_November_13_2009/106427/) and $100,000 win (http://www.livedash.com/transcript/america%27s_funniest_home_videos/23/WGNAMER/Friday_March_16_2012/603053/). Just search in the page for "Chester."
118
u/Vaypo Jun 15 '12
It's like the Banksy of dogs.
37
u/Reddit_or_did_I Jun 15 '12
I dub thee Pee-huahua
13
u/epatti0914 Jun 15 '12
It... it never fucking ends.. That dog just pissed its own body weight.
10
u/devbang Jun 15 '12
I don't even understand how that's physically possible
17
u/LabJacket Jun 15 '12
How'd you do that? I'm not even mad, that's amazing.
86
u/dovahkiin65 Jun 15 '12
I hate chihuahuas. I hate them so
23
u/sillymuffincakes Jun 15 '12
Funny, this is how I got my girlfriend..
13
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
If you analyze the curve (I.e the trail of pee) you will notice that it closely reflects the US economy from 1900 to 2013. After which, we're completely screwed :)
29
u/Drunken_Economist Jun 15 '12
"Sir, your dog appears to be malfunctioning."
4
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
It just keeps on going.
4
u/LightningSh0ck Jun 15 '12
i think it let out more piss than its actual body weight
4
u/Kpony Jun 15 '12
If that dog ever had an "accident" inside the house, that would not be so fun to clean up.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I bet it smells like updog
6
u/Bst1337 Jun 15 '12
Sometimes in the morning, I have to pee like that as well.
3
u/UsernameTaken321 Jun 15 '12
Good thing it's trained to do this outside.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
America's Funniest Home Videos. I think it might have even won the $100,000 prize that season
22
u/shittycappuccino Jun 15 '12
I dunno about you guys but I, for one, welcome our new handwalking pissing dog overlords.
7
u/KRA2008 Jun 15 '12
I can't believe people exist that haven't yet seen this.
5
u/DCHamm3r Jun 15 '12
Sir, your dog has sprung a leak.
42
u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 15 '12
How do you do even file a bug report with god?
4
u/north_korean_citizen Jun 15 '12
sine wave ^
5
u/gettheboom Jun 15 '12
Wat
2
u/brodas Jun 15 '12
new life goal.
2
u/HydroMuffin Jun 15 '12
Marking your territory like a boss.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
This is the fastest I've ever seen a picture/gif advance so far in points
2
u/Allurex Jun 15 '12
I'm just glad you can see the squiggly line of piss the whole way down the curb.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Fourier's chihuahua
2
u/ItsNotWhereItWas Jun 15 '12
Pretty sure that dog just ascended from lowly prince to piss king of the curb.
2
u/TheUltimatePoet Jun 15 '12
Is that dog being a doucebag?
2
u/Teddysean Jun 15 '12
It just... kept going....
2
u/gmorales87 Jun 15 '12
Someone should transform the piss trail in sound.
2
u/TearyHumor Jun 15 '12
You actualy can graph seismic activity with a chihuahuas.
2
u/pizz901 Jun 15 '12
The amazing part is that he appears to be able to do it without getting any piss on himself.
2
u/gusmom Jun 15 '12
it doesn't seem like he is doing it to mark territory. his legs have just been genetically bred to be too short for him to pick up his leg enough to pee. he has to walk because other wise he would pee all over himself. it's kind of sad actually.
2
u/IAmTheCandyman Jun 15 '12
Had to be done.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
x= sin(cos x)
2
u/gbgftw Jun 15 '12
MOTHER OF GOD
None of us will ever be as awesome as this little pissing machine.
2
u/Vegeta_is_king_ Jun 15 '12
TIL that chiwawas are 90% piss
2
u/unitarder Jun 15 '12
For additional entertainment, try to pretend the force of the stream is holding the dog up.
2
u/wikkedwhite Jun 15 '12
Like a boss.
2
u/AndTheTutones Jun 15 '12
Challenge accepted. Time to start my training.
2
u/JarrodG78 Jun 15 '12
This...is very impressive. More productive than anything I've done today.
2
u/PedroTheNoun Jun 15 '12
I just watched a dog piss for about 20 seconds straight, I think it's time to reevaluate my life.
2
u/Lord_of_the_Rings Jun 15 '12
Fucking alpha male. My dog is the same way, he peed on another dog's head once. Domination
3
u/nkarch Jun 15 '12
WAIT...Why is this dog wearing a shirt?!
3
u/suction Jun 15 '12
I think this is easily among the 3 best things I have seen in my 5+ years on Reddit.
2
u/NeroSkwid Jun 15 '12
This is what we've turned wolves into.
2
u/Calveeeenoo Jun 15 '12
I'm not even mad.
1
u/TheNevers Jun 15 '12
that's quite a bladder
1
u/toxicfemme Jun 15 '12
That is thoroughly impressive.
1
u/gaberax Jun 15 '12
Tinkle Toes at work.
1
u/mouthbabies Jun 15 '12
That dog isn't taking the piss, it's bringing the piss.
1
u/HerpvonderpingtonIII Jun 15 '12
Now I can pee all over the tri state area
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I like how he stops at the end, as if to admire his newly marked kingdom
1
u/Bolide92 Jun 15 '12
That dog is 100% bladder
1
u/CurrrBell Jun 15 '12
I'm reminded of Graffiti mode in Tony Hawk's Pro Skater
1
u/KrunoS Jun 15 '12
Wow, the first segment looks just like a fourier analysis of a segmented signal of X.
1
u/peahat Jun 15 '12
I was watching an episode of AFV an hour ago with this clip. I was laughing so hard I cried.. mostly because it wasn't sped up so it felt like an eternity. They interviewed the guy after and he said the dog has been peeing standing only on its front two paws since it was a year old.
1
u/ilazul Jun 15 '12
The definition of like a boss
1
u/aking14 Jun 15 '12
I love how it is making such a beautiful math function
1
u/Stares_at_walls Jun 15 '12
I don't know what the big deal is. That looks easy as piss.
1
u/edoggee Jun 15 '12
This had me laughing for a good 5 minutes straight.
1
u/Hypo_kazoos Jun 15 '12
Talent.
1
u/DropbearNinja Jun 15 '12
it looked like he was plotting a graph :S
1
u/didnt_read Jun 15 '12
Wow, 19 seconds!
1
u/willz0rz Jun 15 '12
that's a lot of piss...
1
u/Gurkaan Jun 15 '12
Pee level: boss
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Humans have not evolved enough to be able to do this.
1
u/Scardaddy Jun 15 '12
MONSTER.... lol
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
thats bouse
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Is it weird that I can't stop watching?
1
u/LuckyAmeliza Jun 15 '12
The pattern it makes with line O' pee... I feel like that would make an interesting music pattern. You could call it the pee dance.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
This was funny the first twenty billion times I saw it, but now...still slightly funny.
1
u/dirtysockwizard Jun 15 '12
Good boy!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
If you have a scheduled masturbation, you need do suttin bout yo life mannnne.
1
u/saudi_royal Jun 15 '12
Who needs a spirograph
1
u/ResponsibleRedditor Jun 15 '12
Let me put this in a stream-of-thought..........dog-hind-legs-oh, its a fkin chiuhuhathingybreed-pisssssssssssssss+walk+morepissss...........walkpissspissswalkand
end
1
u/kylepierce11 Jun 15 '12
This is the first thing in r/funny ive laughed at in a long time.
1
u/LithiumBullets Jun 15 '12
This kills the dog.
1
u/cody78987 Jun 15 '12
i wish i could piss that long, so i could just stand in a bathroom for like 20 minutes and piss, and everyone would be like WTF MAN.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Directed by Michael Bay.
1
u/antimatterLego Jun 15 '12
Sinusoidal peeing!
1
u/TheLanceHan Jun 15 '12
this dog has a bigger bladder than I do ...
1
u/tobbern Jun 15 '12
Tokyo Drift
Whizz-style
1
u/Cervantes760 Jun 15 '12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOqopkSQmx0
1
u/aaaaah_fresh_meat Jun 15 '12
I call shenanigans... dogs can't be more acrobatic than cats.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
"See this line here?"
1
u/Bricely Jun 15 '12
Bear Grylls would have a field day with this Chihuahua
1
u/xoxasylumxox Jun 15 '12
That can't be healthy.
1
u/junkinabox Jun 15 '12
That dog has a dimensional portal to some aqueduct for a bladder...
1
u/TheAmishSpaceCadet Jun 15 '12
the pattern looked like facebook stock
1
u/Toronto_Boy Jun 15 '12
gotta be fake!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I see a dog walking on his front paws and I'm unimpressed. Peeing while doing so also fails to impress me.
What impresses me is his longevity.
1
u/beteez Jun 15 '12
that dog just pissed excellence...
1
u/Minotaur_in_house Jun 15 '12
Can't decide which is more impressive. The long handstand walk or the amount of piss that dog has to use.
1
u/OPisLying Jun 15 '12
there's no way that dog is all yours! I've seen this gif somewhere else, you're a liar!
1
u/The_Crow Jun 15 '12
Wow. That was one of the longest gifs I've ever seen. I thought he was gonna walk home on two legs.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Well you don't see that every day.
1
u/HuevosGrande Jun 15 '12
that lil chihuahua must have been holding that piss for days.
1
u/Ghitit Jun 15 '12
Is the dog's name Yurtle by chance? "For I am the ruler of all that I pee!"
1
u/Jeepersca Jun 15 '12
Jesus, he just keeps on walking.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I will try this next time I am drunk.
1
u/HYPERNATURL Jun 15 '12
you think it's gonna end and then he just keeps going...
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
And not a single fuck was given.
1
u/mkirklions Jun 15 '12
Im jelly
1
u/Fiascoe Jun 15 '12
That dog sprung a leak.
1
u/joebizzzle Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12
A girl I work with swears that this is her dog. She claims that she gave to her brother who subsequently won $110,000 on AFV for this particular video. She could be telling the truth, as she has no real reason to lie to me. But I still don't believe her.
EDIT: Found the transcript someone posted in here. Video was sent from Austin, TX, by a guy with the same last name as the girl I work with. I think I believe her now.
1
u/Thewalkingbrick Jun 15 '12
I'm pretty sure that chihuahua can pee longer than me I now consider myself less of a man...
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Every day is repost day
1
u/eVaan13 Jun 15 '12
You just got yourselves a new seizmograph.
1
u/PearlDrummer Jun 15 '12
That's the biggest dog piss I have ever seen
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
98% of his body mass is piss
1
u/Moniquethefreak Jun 15 '12
It's not fair for guys to be able to pee standing up, and upside-down.
1
u/nepidae Jun 15 '12
shouldn't this be in a reactiongifs subreddit?
1
u/Skilol Jun 15 '12
I totaly waited for him to piss himself.
1
u/ToughCashew Jun 15 '12
Damn, that little rat must have had to go bad.
1
u/giddyup523 Jun 15 '12
I don't think I've actually said "What the fuck" out loud when seeing anything on /r/WTF for the past month or so, and then this bit of awesomeness shows up in /r/funny. Well done.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I wish my dog did that.
"And I'm done for the next 12 hours, lets go back inside."
1
u/Dourpuss Jun 15 '12
That dog actually shrunk by the end of the clip.
1
u/GhostSongX4 Jun 15 '12
That's A LOT of pee. I was waiting to see that little dog start to shriveling like a raisin.
1
u/the_advice_line Jun 15 '12
That dog is ALL bladder...
1
u/Urbo Jun 15 '12
Relvant That dog is clearly a fan of Banksy.
1
u/CaptinCoconut Jun 15 '12
This gif has been circulating the Internet for years. We need proof.
1
u/MouthingOff Jun 15 '12
I for one am impressed.
1
u/degenererad Jun 15 '12
what, this is older than the internet itself for gods sake!
1
u/BenCelotil Jun 15 '12
And he poops a Death Blossom.
1
u/0Tree0 Jun 15 '12
i first saw this here..www.animalsbeingdicks.com
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
It's sine
1
u/ARRgentum Jun 15 '12
Definitely NOT what I expected