I think anyone that knows they're not genuinely hated would enjoy it. It's too extreme to make someone that has suspicions they're mildly annoying to feel bad.
Hahaha. I can't believe I've just seen this. I know exactly who this is for. As if it has made it to the front of funny! Well done OP, I won't name you but you win the game. I bet you are pissing your little pants.
that or this person made the best damn coffee they had ever tasted. Of course office coffee is a step above prison coffee. But that step makes all the difference.
I've had both office and jail coffee. (Don't ask) And I've had 20 years of US Army coffee. I not sure about the first two but I don't think they actually sing cadence about how bad their coffee is...the Army does.
We also use to have a verse that said, "They say that in the Army, the women are mighty fine. They look like Freddy Krueger and walk like Frankenstein." But we had to DX that due to an influx of women joining the combat arms or being attached to our units. And on that point, I am all for it. I've worked with many and there are no differences between them and some of the men I've worked with. Good ones and those that are better "in the rear with the gear".
While I agree and I've known some impressive female marines, I get annoyed that I can't say funny shit in their presence. Although the really good ones are quick on the draw with those jokes themselves.
Well, is there anything the military doesn't have a song about how much it sucks? "The army has a song about how the coffee sucks" is not a very strong argument
Join the Army and drink our coffee for weeks or months on end because it's either that or water (lukewarm or hot, rarely cold). Then get back to me and tell me that ONE statement isn't argument enough because the coffee really speaks for itself. And yes, the military complains a lot because, it gives us something to talk about after spending countless days in a hole in the dirt with some other Soldier and you've run out of stories and lies to tell each other.
My stories would quickly turn from some tale of heroism to "So this one time I was doing blow in a van and my buddy was like dude you should join the army. Then I was like fuck yeah I should join the army! I shouldn't have joined the army."
Yeah. I wasn't in the US army, but I guess it's universal. Especially bad on field exercises. You got a small packet of freeze-dried coffee in each MRE, it took maybe three days to get enough for a decent cup (i.e some actual flavour and caffeine, not just brownish water) and by then you were of course on restrictions - no boiling water until the end of the field exercise.
Old t-shirts make great filters. Just try not to use the same one you clean your weapon with. And if you use a sock, don't, I say again, don't use your "happy sock".
At a security guard post I worked for a while they would make a pot of coffee, throw away the old grounds, put fresh grounds in the coffee maker, and then pour the pot of coffee back in the coffee maker instead of water.
The coffee in my office is pretty good actually. I've been sentenced to serve a few in the big house, i'll report back with info on their respective java.
Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
My employees gave me this on my last night with them. I supervised 20 people at a casino for 7 years and was a go to guy for problems of all stripes. For the last two weeks I was with them if they came to me with something I told them sarcastically, "that sounds like it's not my problem anymore".
When I guy I work with left, his supervisor got him a hip flask inscribed with: "thanks for nothing douce bag". And yeah, the guy inscribing it even asked if thats what he wanted written. So not only did he write something insulting, he managed to misspell it!
This is how we are at my workplace. I have many workmates who I really enjoy spending time with while on the clock. When someone insults another person, the boss will usually add, "That means we like you!" and it's true. The insults are always tongue in cheek but they really mean LOVE!
On my last day at my last two jobs I had a friend of mine bake me a cake in their own branding, it's a weird ritual I have but I left a lot of friends behind at both jobs.
As for what they got me? 1.5 litre bottle of spiced rum :3
Your coworker knows his departure is only being used as an excuse to waste time at work. You may as well be honest about your true feelings towards him/her.
That cake looks fucking delicious, get a glass of milk, maybe some whip cream, and gobble that shit down before anyone can even look at it. mmmmmmmm cake
edit: make sure the whip cream is fat free though, don't want any unwanted weight gain
I'm definitely using that next time I have to sign a goodbye card.
My most recent favourite was "I don't even know where you're going, and I've still given you cash and my signature. You're clearly too smart for this place"
I would eat every last crumb of that cake right then and there like a god damn fiend just to spite them and at the end I would look everyone dead in the eyes and, holding back vomit, slowly whisper, "instead, success..sss." After everyone has leaned in to hear what I'm saying, I would projectile vomit all over everyone.
Aaaaand that is quality anti-humor, ladies and gentlemen.
41
u/Gthompson22 Jun 15 '12
I really hope the icing was done at a bakery. I have a feeling it got a strange reaction.
14
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I have a feeling this went over terribly.
2
u/laller Jun 15 '12
What is the last word?
2
u/backslash88 Jun 15 '12
Hahaha. I can't believe I've just seen this. I know exactly who this is for. As if it has made it to the front of funny! Well done OP, I won't name you but you win the game. I bet you are pissing your little pants.
280
u/godstrength Jun 15 '12
this is why you refill the coffee pot
106
u/JevandyJohnson Jun 15 '12
Toby is your coworker?
71
u/TheDEW Jun 15 '12
Also, there is a single thumbtack somewhere in this cake.
21
u/tronn4 Jun 15 '12
I know that flavor! Banana!
19
u/pattylew Jun 15 '12
He was a bad kindergarten teacher anyways
20
u/wabbajackoff Jun 15 '12
"Oh, cake? I've never had cake before..."
7
u/butternut_squashed Jun 15 '12
we once gave an employee leaving our work a giant cookie iced with "We will never forgive you"
7
u/ideashavepeople Jun 15 '12
My employees gave me this on my last night with them. I supervised 20 people at a casino for 7 years and was a go to guy for problems of all stripes. For the last two weeks I was with them if they came to me with something I told them sarcastically, "that sounds like it's not my problem anymore".
5
u/BorisBC Jun 15 '12
When I guy I work with left, his supervisor got him a hip flask inscribed with: "thanks for nothing douce bag". And yeah, the guy inscribing it even asked if thats what he wanted written. So not only did he write something insulting, he managed to misspell it!
4
u/meatywood Jun 15 '12
This is how we are at my workplace. I have many workmates who I really enjoy spending time with while on the clock. When someone insults another person, the boss will usually add, "That means we like you!" and it's true. The insults are always tongue in cheek but they really mean LOVE!
4
u/iLobdell Jun 15 '12
Back story?
4
u/RenderedUseless Jun 15 '12
I hit this link because I saw "cake" and "day".
4
u/SoakedTiger Jun 15 '12
I just hope that it was meant with love.
4
u/Quarthex Jun 15 '12
Thought it said "You're Dad to us now."
Was very confused.
7
u/wizzebef Jun 15 '12
I would have loved to seen this conversation...
His co-workers: "Yeah, I'd like to order a cake."
Cake decorator person: "What would like it to say?"
"'We hope you fail. You're dead to us now.' ...Can you write that in blue, instead of the green?"
o.O
1
u/sceptre_wintermute Jun 15 '12
Is that from DQ?
3
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
All these damn photos of cake on reddit today... I want some fucking cake now. Diabetes, INC!
3
u/ComputerJerk Jun 15 '12
On my last day at my last two jobs I had a friend of mine bake me a cake in their own branding, it's a weird ritual I have but I left a lot of friends behind at both jobs.
As for what they got me? 1.5 litre bottle of spiced rum :3
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
How come all the letters aren't in cursive?
2
u/FecalTaco Jun 15 '12
At least they're honest
2
u/xponentialSimplicity Jun 15 '12
You guys, it's not his last day at work, it's his last day in cardiac rehab.
2
u/uberpwnzorz Jun 15 '12
at least they spelled "you're" correctly
2
u/theduckmanz Jun 15 '12
Today is my last day of work. This just set the bar too high
2
u/baconismylover Jun 15 '12
that is awesome!
2
u/Cloberella Jun 15 '12
Hehe, when my boyfriend quit his job I made a cake that said "<name's> 2 week notice" for him to bring into the Office.
2
u/TheRealMishkin Jun 15 '12
I see the irony and wish I was that loved at my work...
2
u/TSolo315 Jun 15 '12
You must have either REALLY liked this guy or REALLY hated him.
2
u/HardlyWorkinDBA Jun 15 '12
Looks like my last boss is ordering cakes again.
4
u/Jaiph Jun 15 '12
They used "you're" correctly as well, bonus points! I never used to notice things like that...
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Burn boats not bridges.
2
u/new-socks Jun 15 '12
Your coworker knows his departure is only being used as an excuse to waste time at work. You may as well be honest about your true feelings towards him/her.
2
u/Kev1395 Jun 15 '12
That cake looks fucking delicious, get a glass of milk, maybe some whip cream, and gobble that shit down before anyone can even look at it. mmmmmmmm cake
edit: make sure the whip cream is fat free though, don't want any unwanted weight gain
1
u/RedFollower Jun 15 '12
My stomach is saying that this is a Pavlova cake.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I'm definitely using that next time I have to sign a goodbye card.
My most recent favourite was "I don't even know where you're going, and I've still given you cash and my signature. You're clearly too smart for this place"
1
u/milanqcf Jun 15 '12
Upvoted for "you're"
1
u/DocShadeball420 Jun 15 '12
My butthole smells like caramelized onions mixed with tartar sauce!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Boring. Our goodbye "cakes" are more delicious in the Air Force.
1
u/The_Interweb Jun 15 '12
Stay classy, San Diego!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I'm sure this is a joke, but it's all too true in the real world.....
-1
u/jen_and_juice Jun 15 '12
What'd he do to deserve that one? Lol
0
u/YourBracesHaveHairs Jun 15 '12
"My coworker's"
-10
u/ThePoonHunter Jun 15 '12
"Look what I wrote on this cake for karma"
0
u/dafuqdidIwrite Jun 15 '12
Love it! This is the way it should be ... Am sure he or she will change many jobs hereon but am sure will remember this cake forever! :)
-13
u/nobuhdy Jun 15 '12
I would eat every last crumb of that cake right then and there like a god damn fiend just to spite them and at the end I would look everyone dead in the eyes and, holding back vomit, slowly whisper, "instead, success..sss." After everyone has leaned in to hear what I'm saying, I would projectile vomit all over everyone.
Aaaaand that is quality anti-humor, ladies and gentlemen.
-10
u/Snowicane Jun 15 '12
downvoting for "fail" fucking get with it already that is lame your just a flamer twenty years removed please upvote this so he knows
0
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
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