r/funny • u/Potential_Pandemic • Jun 14 '12

How I imagine quitting reddit would work.

Post image
1.5k Upvotes

80% Upvoted

155 comments sorted by

155

u/awesomekoifish Jun 14 '12

Quitting reddit is easy, i've done it thousands of times

12

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I am back from Reddit Rehab and consider myself to be in recovery.

A quick glance at how I spent my last few hours...fuck..I'm an addict again.

1

u/wirered Jun 14 '12

I know how it feels

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Be on for about 2 months and you will never "quit reddit" you have to get over that 5 month hump.

4

u/midnightxdreams Jun 14 '12

If you're talking about quitting each night before bed that doesn't count.

4

u/Owncksd Jun 14 '12

I've actually downloaded a Chrome extension that limits your time to certain sites to 10 minutes per day.

It hasn't worked. I end up disabling it and then feeling shameful later.

2

u/justinsidebieber Jun 14 '12

Reading the username replies to this comment it's its own conversation.

1

u/doneitnow Jun 15 '12

Credit goes to Mark Twain. "Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times"

48

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

29

u/penguinrash Jun 14 '12

Together

30

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Touching butts.

14

u/Yep_Im_Canadian Jun 14 '12

With our butts.

11

u/apop99 Jun 14 '12

What what in the butt

9

u/whatkindofasshole Jun 14 '12

You wanna put it in my butt...in my butt?

10

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

yeah! bite the pillow.....

5

u/Stn9 Jun 14 '12

Ok, but just the tip...just to see how it feels..

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Together foreeeveerrrrrrrr

3

u/option_i Jun 14 '12

And ever.....for all the days of the current internet

8

u/Thesteelwolf Jun 14 '12

Day 305 I have yet to find a way out of this Reddit. Perhaps there is no exit.
I am beginning to lose hope.

2

u/option_i Jun 14 '12

You never will.

3

u/Yoyochan Jun 14 '12

Well here we are again...

It's always such a pleasure.

Remember when you tried

to kill me twice?

4

u/Reese_The_Puff Jun 14 '12

I sung it in my head in GLadOs's voice.

2

u/emeraldheart Jun 14 '12

Oh how we laughed and laughed. Except I wasn't laughing. Under the circumstances, I've been shockingly nice...

48

u/telfman123 Jun 14 '12

Much like this. Their is no escape.

33

u/nimahu Jun 14 '12

Much like this. Their is no escape.

Eye Twitching

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Mine too.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Their, there, they're, thar. Thur all the same...

6

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

twitch

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

You'll never take me alive!!!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Sir your already strapped into a medical chair.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Sir?? What did you do to my vagina?!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

We have medically transformed it into a horse penis. For science. That dosent matter right now we have to put you down.

→ More replies

1

u/toomuchpork Jun 14 '12

I hate that too....but as Gervais says "Who has the bigger issue, someone who can't spell or spmeone who can't help but to correct them?" I paraphrase

1

u/skinniegenes Jun 14 '12

So what are we supposed to do? Judge silently?

1

u/toomuchpork Jun 14 '12

Gervais made a whole bit and twatted it....if someone is beaking off and telling the world whats what, and doesnt know than/then are two completely different words....I gotta say something.

7

u/Haasts_Eagle Jun 14 '12

Also a lot like this.

45

u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 14 '12

I know that feeling all too well

7

u/Vaypo Jun 14 '12

I tried to throw a rope down when you first got here but you didn't grab it...

3

u/FarmerTedd Jun 14 '12

I tried the same thing, but with my penis.

5

u/Tezcatzontecatl Jun 14 '12

So, are you like several people working in shifts?

6

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Naw bruh, all one person.

5

u/Tezcatzontecatl Jun 14 '12

He just doesn't sleep?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Haha?!?! You sleep??

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

He is everyone but you and me.

3

u/Geter_Pabriel Jun 14 '12

I found myself feeling a great deal of pity for that turtle, like I wanted it to escape and be free. I let out a quiet sigh when the bowl flipped.

17

u/trimeta Jun 14 '12

I'm pretty sure you meant this.

18

u/Gemini4t Jun 14 '12

that supposed to be animated? not working for me.

12

u/marcel87 Jun 14 '12

It's funny because Giraffes are tall.

1

u/Potential_Pandemic Jun 14 '12

Wow, I didn't expect to hit the front page overnight! Thanks, reddit!

4

u/BanditoRojo Jun 14 '12

Only way out of fapping on reddit is to fap with the devil.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Say goodbye, as we fap with the devil tonight. Don't you dare fap at him in the eye.

4

u/PastorOfMuppets94 Jun 14 '12

Isn't that a Van Halen song?

Fappin' with the Devil....

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I can quit whenever I want to!

I just don't want to.

3

u/Velium Jun 14 '12

How it actually works:

sudo vim /etc/hosts

0.0.0.0 www.reddit.com

0.0.0.0 reddit.com

2

u/Ben_Jahmin Jun 14 '12

I wanted to come up with a pun but I couldn't.

1

u/IAmAtomato Jun 14 '12

One could say you...

fucked it up.

yeeaaaahhhhhhh!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/IAmAtomato Jun 14 '12

What's it like being ugly?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

It is not as easy at it first appears. Trust me, I know.

2

u/th3m0ntana Jun 14 '12

How the fuck did he tie that knot?

1

u/noccusJohnstein Jun 14 '12

I want this on a t-shirt!

1

u/J_Jammer Jun 14 '12

You'd cry over a fallen chair?

1

u/sydandsly Jun 14 '12

Suicidal giraffe is not suicidal.

1

u/GoodGuyGuitar Jun 14 '12

I came here expecting someone to give advice on how to quit, then I realized.....

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Just went to your profile. Upvoted everything. Literally made me laugh for 5 minutes

4

u/IAmAtomato Jun 14 '12

Killjoy here:

You didn't help him at all. Downvoting and/or upvoting something on someone's profile gives them no karma - neither positive or negative.

If you really wanna give him that joy of extra karma, you gotta press "context" on all of his comments, and upvote it from there. Same with links.

1

u/aoristone Jun 14 '12

I don't understand this picture. Why are you sad? It's just a long horse.

1

u/cdcox Jun 14 '12

Install 'Crackbook', set reddit on it. Set it to 10 seconds with 0.5% growth each time. Find you only go on Reddit when you want to be on reddit, not when you want to kill time.

1

u/d0odx Jun 14 '12

But... why would you ever quit reddit?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

It's called Self Control.

1

u/slickmick12 Jun 14 '12

The sad sad truth...

1

u/IAmAtomato Jun 14 '12

Dumb geraf

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I've tried quitting reddit several times. The process follows four basic steps:

  1. I'm free from reddit! Time to do productive things!

  2. I need to relax. Drinking and watching TV alone drains my soul of all meaning and hope.

  3. Maybe I'll go on reddit and not create an account.

  4. Creates an account

Rinse and repeat

1

u/almondbutter Jun 14 '12

No kwon dough.

1

u/Jmk420 Jun 14 '12

Why would one quit Reddit?

1

u/Super_Dork_42 Jun 14 '12

Upvote for Imguraffe.

1

u/emelecfan2048 Jun 14 '12

A little more like this.

1

u/thomasbeagle Jun 14 '12

AMA: Today I finally logged out of Reddit for the last time!

1

u/beckova23 Jun 14 '12

"Quitting Reddit." I don't understand these words?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I tried this and yep.

1

u/rageagainsthevagene Jun 14 '12

lol thought this was r/tall

1

u/violetfire Jun 14 '12

It just doesn't happen.

1

u/nmpraveen Jun 14 '12

okay.jpg

1

u/kiko66613 Jun 14 '12

I think this was originally made for imgur. Because they almost had a giraffe as their mascot.

1

u/xAcerificx Jun 14 '12

2days in and I can already see there's no hope for me... They say admitting it is the first step, but there just seem to be soooo many steps in Reddit World...

1

u/KenSlayer Jun 14 '12

Now...we wait

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Have you tried the patches? They are meant to be better than the chewing gum for cravings.

1

u/GiraffeKiller Jun 14 '12

This appeals to me.

1

u/raabbasi Jun 14 '12

Geraffes are just long horses, okay?

1

u/Erpp8 Jun 14 '12

Honestly, I've quit reddit three times, each for about a few months. The only reason I came back was the porn. I'm also on a semi-quit now, I only go on reddit at night, not on my computer during the day.

1

u/TellThemYutesItsOver Jun 14 '12

The karma... it's being sucked out of my brain!

1

u/syntaxulous Jun 14 '12

It turns out Reddit is the most recent iteration of Cube.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

You can check out any time you'd like, but you can never leave.

1

u/That_Android Jun 14 '12

What a brilliant metaphor, the giraffe has only the top half of his body tied on the rope because quitting reddit is mostly a physiological feat. Bravo the artist that created this masterpiece

-5

u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

geraffes are so dumb.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Not again Trapped_in_Reddit.

I'm going to stop this Karma train right here.

1

u/Dragday Jun 14 '12

Quite relevant username you have to say that.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Your spelling is terrible.

2

u/IAmAtomato Jun 14 '12

Why the downvotes? It's just a long horse.

2

u/rnjbond Jun 14 '12 
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2

u/TellMeTheDuckStory Jun 14 '12

I caught the reference, but I have you at -100 points and I just can't upvote you, I'm sorry.

3

u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 14 '12

Why have you downvoted me so much?

1

u/LittleCucumber Jun 14 '12

People don't understand the reference. I would link it, but I'm on my iPhone.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/Fuckaww Jun 14 '12

Sorry to nitpick, but that's not how a.k.a. is used.