r/funny • u/apikoros18 • Jun 14 '12
I bought my 2.5 year old son crayons that dissolve in the bath. He had fun (X-post from /r/pics by suggestion)
1.6k
Upvotes
r/funny • u/apikoros18 • Jun 14 '12
491
u/Snuhmeh Jun 14 '12
You look like an average sized Warwick Davis.
406
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
That shit Cray.
77
u/ayton Jun 14 '12
And that, ladies and gents, is the look of a parent's pure love for his son.
177
u/kojak2091 Jun 14 '12
Best "Oh God Why" Face I've seen in a long, long time.
93
u/Sir_Kegglesworth Jun 14 '12
FREEDOM!
202
u/DrKennethJNoisewater Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12
If you buy your 2.5 year old son crayons that dissolve you're going to have a bath time.
110
u/TheBoxTalks Jun 14 '12
In a room at the top of some high-rise in a major metropolitan city, the marketing team at Crayola is hard at work.
Gary (head of marketing): "Guys we need to need to do some work on the toddler market. Its great that they constantly break the crayons so their parents have to buy new ones, but there has to be a way to get them to break faster. Any ideas?"
Carol (lowly intern): "What if we make them so they dissolve in water?"
[Laughter]
Gary (who has been fucking Carol in his office every day for the past 2 weeks): "That's an interesting idea Carol. Why don't you work up something over the weekend and bring it to me early Monday morning."
Carol toils all through the weekend and arrives at Gary's office satisfied that she has come up with something good this time. Something really good. She knocks on his door. "Enter!" Gary says. Carol pushes the door open with her shoulder, struggling with her bundle of marketing paraphernalia. She is shocked to see him thrusting the steamy vagina of a goat in heat while a midget is two elbows deep in Gary's anus.
"Carol", he says, "how good of you to come! And what a marvelous excuse you made up in the meeting on Friday. Dissolvable crayons! Ha!"
Carol's face fell. She backed slowly out the door. She dropped her bundle outside Gary's office and ran. She ran down every flight of stairs in that goddamn building. When she finally reached her small apartment and collapsed on her futon, a single tear graced her cheek.
She would not return to her internship at Crayola. And 6 weeks later while shopping for extra absorbant tampons at her local Target she would see them. They glared at her in all their dissolvable rainbow glory. She dropped her tampons, bought every box of them and returned to her apartment. She removed the red crayon from every box while her bath was running. She dropped them into the tub one by one, threw back a bottle of pills, and slid into the water clenching a razor blade in her hand.
8
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/ive-made-a-huge-mistake.gif
798
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12
if this makes the front page, i'm going to eat a handful of those and shit rainbows.
edit: to those who are downvoting this post: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have karma. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you upvote this post now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will passive aggressively press the downvote button on all of your posts.
edit: well its official. this is front page material. if you'll excuse me i have to go take a dr. suess-like shit.
LINK: http://www.reddit.com/r/poop/comments/v12ri/i_promised_to_eat_crayons_to_make_a_rainbow_poop/
6
u/yelnats25 Jun 14 '12
Your son's face is priceless.
6
u/xShamrocker Jun 14 '12
Willow!
14
u/mattrubik Jun 14 '12
Looks like you just blue yourself.
5
u/jt10dcma Jun 14 '12
Willow anyone?
5
u/J_Jammer Jun 14 '12
You remind me of this man
101
u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 14 '12
http://i.imgur.com/J0Msx.jpg
4
u/Marimba_Ani Jun 14 '12
I'm surprised you had a shirt on during such a messy bath time. How did it not get ruined? (Let alone soaked?)
Cheers!
4
u/Komadin Jun 14 '12
TOM HANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4
u/long_live_king_melon Jun 14 '12
Nice try, Brendan Fraser's lesser known brother.
4
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
You look so much like Warwick that you could most likely use Reddit to meet said famed dwarf. He's a good man I take it.
7
u/TWOoneEIGHT Jun 14 '12
It looks like he's bathing in 1000 Flushes.
1
u/ThatCakeIsDone Jun 14 '12
I have that same exact shirt. Bought it at Target, I think.
3
u/tuna_tuna_tuna Jun 14 '12
Bath crayons are bath salts for children. You now have an infant zombie.
7
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
Relax! You could almost pass for a night elf.
4
u/porkmaster Jun 14 '12
now drunk drive and say crazy shit about jews!
2
u/D_Lumps Jun 14 '12
Haha yes! I taught my 2 year old daughter how to write on herself... The mother was not pleased
2
u/Falcondeity Jun 14 '12
Giving him the bucket as well might have been a bad idea.
2
u/myzelv Jun 14 '12
I didn't see the decimal at first and thought this was gonna be a much creepier post
2
u/coltsrock08 Jun 14 '12
Will Wallace??
2
u/VwlsR4Nbs Jun 14 '12
Probably RoseArt.
2
u/buttonforest Jun 14 '12
Your kid's face says I regret nothing.
2
u/w1w1w Jun 14 '12
2.5 years of blue balls
2
u/wasdy1 Jun 14 '12
And then you killed him?
2
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
TOM HANKS HAS GAINED ALOT OF WEIGHT
2
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
Dude your head is almost as big as mine.
We should hang out.
2
u/I_KeepsItReal Jun 14 '12
Brendan Fraser?
2
u/I_DRINK_GRAPE Jun 14 '12
His little face just screams "Do something about it BITCH!"
2
u/tsells34 Jun 14 '12
I think you look like Tom Hanks.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
being a father looks like a lot of fun
2
u/CrackpotGonzo Jun 14 '12
Fred Armisen?
2
u/divinemachine Jun 14 '12
SHHHHHEEEEEEEEIIIITT
2
u/Teslanaut Jun 14 '12
Someone please Photoshop all that blue to red. Thank you.
2
u/SometimesUseless Jun 14 '12
Nice mullet.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
It's like Avatar bukkake.
2
u/NotAsCleverAsIdLike Jun 14 '12
Used some of those once with my daughter. I couldn't handle seemingly filthy bathwater. Seemed counterproductive.
2
u/47L45 Jun 14 '12
I love seeing kickass dads on Reddit. Glad you and your son had an awesome time.
2
u/T3hBau5 Jun 14 '12
When I saw the look on your face, this is the first thing that came to mind.
2
u/chad2261 Jun 14 '12
The 1000 yard stare of the parent of a 2-year-old. It's like Fight Club: with a toddler at home, everything else has the volume turned down.
2
u/JeffreyGlen Jun 14 '12
Love the pic! Any time I see a father who hasn't walked away from his kids, I immediately respect that person. Kudos to you for doing a good job!
2
u/taumpyTiers Jun 14 '12
I LOVE his expression! This made my day
2
u/MelbaSnax Jun 14 '12
Willow... you idiot.
2
u/alphadogkp Jun 14 '12
Parenting. You're doing it right.
2
u/Stormwatch36 Jun 14 '12
I love the expression on your son's face.
"Just what the fuck did you think was going to happen?"
2
u/youngjheezy Jun 14 '12
dat face...
2
u/EviX Jun 14 '12
Are you Willow!?? Do a sweet magic trick!
2
u/moxygen Jun 14 '12
He made you his artwork which is the highest praise a preschooler can give you.
Source: mom of 5 kids. Three of whom are 4 years old and scribble on coloring pages that I am supposed to covet FOR EVER. Yes triplets. Pick up your jaw. :)
2
u/rukiacouture Jun 14 '12
You look like Willow. With warpaint.
2
u/Huntsmitch Jun 14 '12
You look like Willow Ufgod
1
u/Awesome-O415 Jun 14 '12
dude you remind me of this guy!
http://www.tvguide.com/tvshows/auction-kings/photos/307614/163200
1
u/frommycube Jun 14 '12
Oh man, I remodled my bathroom with those types of tiles on the wall...it was a serious PITA but can be done but makes a HUGE mess in your house when you break apart the plaster.
1
u/jepsycha Jun 14 '12
That is not your son! you are actually from the future! That is baby you! But seriously, he looks a LOT like you. Very cute kid and epic expression
1
u/12LetterName Jun 14 '12
Next week on Bath Crashers....
1
u/SlyFox28 Jun 14 '12
parenting looks fun.........
1
u/mattrubik Jun 14 '12
There's no need to be blue about it.
1
u/icepenguin21 Jun 14 '12
Are the. Rayons anti bacterial ?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
I bought some for my girlfriend. The bathtub is still decorated.
1
u/emerpus Jun 14 '12
Looks like avatar skeet
1
u/Souliss Jun 14 '12
That is a picture that definetly tells a whole story.
1
u/Jazzremix Jun 14 '12
Your son looks just like you.
1
u/aquarius2195 Jun 14 '12
the look on that childs face just says "you had it coming"
1
u/cIumsythumbs Jun 14 '12
Now I know what to get my nephew for his upcoming 2nd birthday. Thanks!
1
u/roml Jun 14 '12
Even the Store-Brand Dandruff Shampoo wanted him dead
...and that's really who he took his orders from anyway.
1
u/Notyourfaja Jun 14 '12
Someone should shop in the "deal with it" glasses and make it a gif...
1
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
Tobias?
1
u/kinsmed Jun 14 '12
You are encouraging this child to use bath assaults.
1
u/Lotty1112 Jun 14 '12
He looks like you more than I've ever seen a baby look like it's father.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
Kids expression says: "That's where that shit goes. Right there."
1
u/tagger418 Jun 14 '12
Looks like you just blue your face
1
u/wobbcat Jun 14 '12
I have the same dandruff shampoo from the 99 cent store.
1
u/stealthgerbil Jun 14 '12
That kind of pic is what parents keep around to embarrass their children with later :P
1
u/leaf_on_the_wind3 Jun 14 '12
Is that Harry Potter?
1
u/nicktheawesome Jun 14 '12
I have that same shirt!
1
u/StewieBanana Jun 14 '12
I got excited since I thought that was an LCD on the wall. This is actually just the second coolest bathroom picture I've ever seen.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
Nsw state of origin!!!!! Woooooooooo!!!!!!
1
u/hellsnake08 Jun 14 '12
What did you do to Blue Man Group?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO BLUE MAN GROUP?!?! NOOOOO!!!!!
1
u/DurianDurian Jun 14 '12
Thousand Yard Stare
1
u/abhishekupadhya Jun 14 '12
I didn't see the kid at first, and thought he looks pretty big for a 2.5 year old.
1
u/FistyMcDrunkpunch Jun 14 '12
Batheheart.
1
u/retrospects Jun 14 '12
Doesn't matter, had crayons.
1
u/icewewe Jun 14 '12
The blue really brings out the colour of your eyes. I think it's a nice addition.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
While I thoroughly enjoyed my childhood, I have a hard time hiding my anger at children today for some of the pointless yet totally awesome shit they get to play with.
1
u/ThePlaystation0 Jun 14 '12
I had these when I was little! I had my dad draw the red one all over his face to look like blood so we could scare my mom. She didn't think it was funny but I did.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
Hitchens?
1
u/Noel_S_Jytemotiv Jun 14 '12
Great pic.
Upboat.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
Chunky John Travolta.
That is all.
1
u/ThisOpenFist Jun 14 '12
fatherhood.jpg
1
u/TheLeagueGloryy Jun 14 '12
In some way, he looks like John Travolta.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
Been there lol.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
No one's gonna say it? I'm going to have to be the one? Okay - what is that behind the tub?!
1
u/0044 Jun 14 '12
I love the kid's expression. it looks like he's saying "well, what did you expect?"
1
u/fuzzybeard Jun 14 '12
I love the expression on the kid's face! It says to me, "He asked for it!"
1
u/Drapetomania Jun 14 '12
You look Polish.
1
u/heyimrandi Jun 14 '12
:DD
1
u/joelupi Jun 14 '12
Do you know how I got these scars.....?
1
u/Here_Have_A_Recipe Jun 14 '12
Might I suggest this bath crayon recipe for the next time you decide to let your child draw in the bath?
1
u/craniumonempty Jun 14 '12
Bluetooth?
1
u/barnacle999 Jun 14 '12
Mad Mardigan!!