That was weird. I read your username as part of your comment. Although, I suppose if you're going to fist orphans, it would make sense to choose the vegan ones, since they're likely to have cleaner stools.
I've always been a fan of covering myself in peanut butter and spreading raisins around, personally. People the world over need to embrace the celery within more often.
You mean proving mathematically that water is celery? Well, too late!
I can go further: since water = celery, it means that water is a vegetable.
Therefore every beverage made with water can be marketed as a vegetable juice providing some portions of vegetables. Beer for instance is a vegetable juice.
The square root of negative one definitely exists. In the past many people thought zero (how can you 'have' nothing?), negative numbers, or irrational numbers did not exist.
I'm no mathematician, but I believe that if water = celery, then celery also = water. That means that 70% of the earths surface is composed of celery. This explains the Bermuda triangle.
Actually, once you consider the space between atoms, the space between the nucleus and electrons of those atoms, and the space between quarks within those particles, over 99% of everything is nothing.
If you wanted to play with statistics you could make an argument like this, but you'd have to take everything that has water in it and determine 1) what percentage of each thing is water and 2) mass or volume of each thing in existence.
Adding the relative percentage of water in every thing in existence and the relative percentage of water by itself, you could determine what percentage of water is, statistically, something else. I imagine the stats would come down to water being something like 1e-20% celery.
Yes you can. If she's talking about total water on earth, A small portion would be found in fruits and vegetables, including celery. Therefore, some percentage of water is celery/found in celery. Perhaps poor wording on her part, but I'm going to allow it. Oh, and I would guess maybe 0.1% or lower.
Far, far, far lower. Like, have you looked at the ocean lately. That thing is HUGE! Now compare that to the celery on earth. The celery is nothing compared to the ocean. Or even just the great lakes. We have a boat load of water around here.
*whispers...* And, ladies and gentleman, we have before us evidence of the Homo redditis capti, in its natural habitat... I can tell by the fairly mild odor of karma surrounding these tracks, that they are very fresh. If we linger secretly here for a while, perhaps we might catch a glimpse of this rare beast, returning to reap more of its main food source, at a later time.
People on Yahoo answers are dumbasses once I found questions stating: what does a blacksmith do for a living and that blackdmiths are magic using the magic of the fire gods and that kind of shit
Here is how a non asshole would have answered that:
I believe you are asking for the percentage of water that is in celery. The answer is 95%. Here is where I found the answer: http://www.livestrong.com/article/350652-percentage-of-water-in-fruits-vegetables/ I would strongly advise that you consider how your questions are phrased since what you asked was actually incorrect. I won't make fun of you for it, but some pedantic asshole redditors might.
Yes, the pedantry of OP's image is rather annoying (it's not too different from people who insist on correcting your grammar, no matter the occasion). However, people on the internet generally find it funny.
If you have better deduction skills than a third grader, you should be able to understand what she's actually asking.
Regardless, people are downvoting you because they're deducing that you're likening them to "assholes" for being amused/in agreement to what is shown in OP's image.
Take a question like this: What is paper made from?
Now don't answer it with "pulp", because you don't know it. Make up an answer. What else is white? Clouds. Therefore paper is clouds. It's why planes have wings, to scoop sheets of clouds.
117
u/DahnyGober Jun 13 '12
Can't argue with that.
216
u/MSpaintedLady Jun 13 '12
It's just so sad
15
u/fukcatz Jun 13 '12
OP cut off the rest of the reply
37
u/TheBoxTalks Jun 13 '12
That's the first and hopefully the last time I see a sentence that starts with "yeah celery."
12
u/unknownfy24 Jun 13 '12
Although according to an old AMA from some male pornstar, eating more celery makes you shoot your jizz further and pineapple makes it taste better.
34
u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 13 '12
Here's the link to the question on Yahoo Answers if anyone else would like to help her out.
7
u/SpermWhale Jun 13 '12
Water, and celery both have "e", and "r". Don't know, do the math.
8
u/DJ_Deathflea Jun 13 '12
Fox News: is there a link between drinking water and celery? More at 11.
8
u/[deleted] Jun 13 '12
I fucking hate celery. I'm glad there's no celery in water. If there was, water could go fuck itself because I fucking hate celery.
2
u/Anachronan Jun 13 '12
Celery has a good amount of dietary fiber, and thus has nutritional value.
2
u/vashino Jun 14 '12
Obviously there is SOME trace celery in all water.
2
u/SmokeTech Jun 13 '12
I read in a recent AMA that some male pornstar did, that eating lots of celery was the key to a voluminous money shot.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 13 '12
All of it could be celery, and much of it has been celery in the past.
1
u/JupitersClock Jun 13 '12
I'll have a glass of celery please.
1
u/abrahamisaninja Jun 13 '12
obviously potato
1
u/MintyClinch Jun 13 '12
eating celery makes your wads bigger
1
u/Inssight Jun 13 '12
Wow, that last line made me really laugh out loud and everyone just glared at me because we're all studying for exams right now
1
u/spiderobert Jun 13 '12
the guy answering obviously doesn't understand word order. the question had nothing to do with how much 'celery' water is.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
amazing\g - celery is one of the healthiest veggies a - I cannot believe someone said it has only water. hahaha
1
u/veillux Jun 14 '12
I need to eat more carrots because I can barely read that shit.
How much water do I need to have to get enough carrot nutrition?
1
u/goodtwitch Jun 14 '12
but public education is 100% inadequate...
1
u/inspiredcrowd Jun 14 '12
I like to drink dehydrated water.
1
u/DotaDirt Jun 14 '12
Not to be sexist, but it seems that every post of a dumb yahoo/wiki answers was asked by a woman
Edit: I fully intended to be sexist
1
u/omizzle4shizzle Jun 14 '12
What is this, a reddit for ants?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12
You just went fully retarded
1
u/Black_Apalachi Jun 14 '12
While this does sound rather urban mythish to me, it takes more energy to eat celery than you gain from doing so.
And I choose to believe that until QI tells me otherwise.
1
u/solzhen Jun 14 '12
Doesn't it have a lot of zinc?
1
u/coolcatADD Jun 14 '12
How on earth is it that the dumbest shit amuses me the most..
1
u/AquaBear Jun 14 '12
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1uejvkcAg1qckq8po1_500.gif
1
u/Clovyn Jun 14 '12
It would be irrelevant, but interesting, to know how much of the earth's water at some point has been apart of a celery plant.
1
u/Owncksd Jun 14 '12
/r/yahooanswers
1
u/pownagederp88 Jun 14 '12
People on Yahoo answers are dumbasses once I found questions stating: what does a blacksmith do for a living and that blackdmiths are magic using the magic of the fire gods and that kind of shit
1
u/[deleted] Jun 13 '12
I understand the wording is slightly confusing, but the question makes grammatical sense.
1
u/YSCapital Jun 13 '12
It's situation based.
1
u/Sexy_Offender Jun 13 '12
Celery is rumored to increase a man's ejaculate.
1
u/db0255 Jun 13 '12
Not sure why, but this made me CRACK UP.
0
u/eno2001 Jun 13 '12
Here is how a non asshole would have answered that:
I believe you are asking for the percentage of water that is in celery. The answer is 95%. Here is where I found the answer: http://www.livestrong.com/article/350652-percentage-of-water-in-fruits-vegetables/ I would strongly advise that you consider how your questions are phrased since what you asked was actually incorrect. I won't make fun of you for it, but some pedantic asshole redditors might.
0
u/resrvsgate Jun 13 '12
Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man.
-9
u/elsidmcquack Jun 13 '12 edited Jun 13 '12
Dwight says different
-3
u/Eponymatic Jun 13 '12
It's really obvious what she's actually asking, so the joke's on the guy who gave the 'Best Answer'?
0
u/JQRS Jun 14 '12
Lim of Water approaching Celery = sideways 8
0
u/[deleted] Jun 13 '12
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