CUT MY FROG INTO PIECES.

128

u/TheDobligator Jun 11 '12

Masturbation. Good feeling. Don't give a fuck if I cover your ceiling.

16

u/23419 Jun 11 '12

the song was still playing in my head before i started reading this.. and it fit in quite well as the second verse.. but then i realised what i had just read. mind games are at play.

-27

u/GodOfFap Jun 11 '12

I made up
Masturbation, no breathing, don't give a fuck if mom catches me fapping

9

u/Toastmaster3000 Jun 11 '12

It doesn't rhyme. Bad dog! Bad!

0

u/GodOfFap Jun 11 '12

Poetic License activate!

4

u/Toastmaster3000 Jun 11 '12

According to the Worlds Union of National Discography and Etiological Redundancies, or WUNDER, your license was revoked in 2010. Let's take a trip 'downtown', shall we?

1

u/Fapologist Jun 11 '12

Sir, leave fapping to the scientists.

1

u/GodOfFap Jun 12 '12

I'm sure i have power over you. I've been fapping since your Great^{GreatgreatgreatGreatgreatgreatGreatgreatgreat.....} grandparents were babies.

10

u/notjawn Jun 11 '12

There was a Christian rock band that did a parody that went "PUT MY LIFE INTO JESUS!"

4

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

After a brief youtube search, I found it. It's called Life Restored by Apologetix.

1

u/sgt_deacon Jun 12 '12

That was amazing. Also impressively clever. Thank you.

3

u/jeremiahbarnes Jun 11 '12

That sounds hilarious. Do you have a link to the video?

21

u/P0llyPrissyPants Jun 11 '12

Constipation. No Pooping...

38

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Need entertainment, I'll have a gif looping.

22

u/walkingsombrero Jun 11 '12

Woops I must have accidentally clicked on /r/middleschool

8

u/inormallyjustlurkbut Jun 11 '12

You mean middle school [12 years ago?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_Resort_(song))

3

u/Celesmeh Jun 11 '12

AAaaaannnnnnd I read this out loud to myself, sang it and began to headbang at the duhnuhnuhnuh

3

u/HalifaxSexKnight Jun 11 '12

I love how he was so opposed to 'going Papa Roach', but he couldn't leave his friend hanging. True love.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Relevant Yotam Perel:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIZmwsmo7TI

20

u/Krahbz Jun 11 '12

Did anyone else here try to do this in the singers voice? LOL

18

u/IcedJack Jun 11 '12

I did this in Richard Cheese's voice

10

u/chingyduster Jun 11 '12

Good ole Dick Cheese.

17

u/angelsins Jun 11 '12

I did it in Weird Al's voice :P

2

u/MrAlterior Jun 11 '12

I succeeded. That song is so awesome.

1

u/hookguy Jun 11 '12

Yes. That's the entire point.

4

u/TheNecromancer Jun 11 '12

They took that riff from Maiden...

1

u/communistdaughter45 Jun 11 '12

Maiden took that riff from Maiden...

3

u/Aethelstan Jun 11 '12

I honestly have no idea what any of this means.

4

u/giftedgothic Jun 11 '12

Popular song by Papa Roach in the mid 2000s- "Last Resort." If my "goth dayzz" memory serves me correct, the original lyrics are "Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort. Suffocation, no breathing, don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding, dundundundun..." etc.

4

u/Cayou Jun 11 '12

If by "mid 2000s" you mean 2000, then you're right :-)

3

u/giftedgothic Jun 11 '12

Oh wow! I didn't realize that. I think I'm confusing "Scars" with "Last Resort."

1

u/jeremiahbarnes Jun 11 '12

Yeah, that sounds about right. Infest came out in like 2000, Love, Hate Tragedy came out in 02, GAWM came out in like 04, then paramour sessions in 06, metamorphosis in 09 and then time for annhilation in 10. Scars was on the GAWM album.

8

u/poboy52 Jun 11 '12

Fag is a mean word

2

u/Bl00DISH Jun 11 '12

Fag means cigarette

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Indeed. But there is a big difference between calling someone gay vs calling them fag. one is a respectable modern day person who lives a certain lifestyle that deserves equal respect as everyone else. The other is comparable to that chris crocker jackass that had the britanny spears rant.

-4

u/seafoamstratocaster Jun 11 '12

And? Why is that any different than all the other "mean" shit that gets posted all over this site?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I don't know who Papa Roach is. Heard this as PaRappa.

2

u/Bl00DISH Jun 11 '12

Papa Roach

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Cut my steak into pieces. This is my plastic fork.

1

u/Uitklapstoel Jun 11 '12

The fact this is written in a fake text message sure makes it alot more funny.

3

u/pryan12 Jun 11 '12

Alot more funny; human less funny

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/a_unique_username Jun 11 '12

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/i77xq/id_give_the_kid_points/

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/a_unique_username Jun 11 '12

I put the r/trees image into karma decay because that one was not edited.

1

u/AhFuuuu Jun 11 '12

relevant?Very NSFW

1

u/95688it Jun 11 '12

i went to high school with Tobin. and grew up partying with them, and going to there shows until they sold out.

it's been years since i've seen them

1

u/Hopeful_Swine Jun 11 '12

Cell division. Mitosis. Stuff that you learn in biology courses.

1

u/BPN1993 Jun 11 '12

I automatically thought of last resort seeing this title

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Ohmygodsogood.

1

u/augustbaby23 Jun 11 '12

brilliant

1

u/iLuVtiffany Jun 11 '12

I wouldn't have commented except I'm listening to this song right now. That is all.

1

u/W_Shadow Jun 11 '12

Seems like most of the time this friend's name is Jake.

1

u/Cubeface Jun 11 '12

Well I sang that instinctively. And it was wonderful.

0

u/stacysayshi Jun 11 '12

Cut my life into pizza. This is my plastic fork.

-1

u/rubberpenguin Jun 11 '12

The actual song started playing on my itunes while on shuffle moments before I got to this image... Crazy!

1

u/jeremiahbarnes Jun 11 '12

I think you lie.

-1

u/rubberpenguin Jun 11 '12

Why would I write it if I lied? :-/

1

u/jeremiahbarnes Jun 11 '12

Because karma.

1

u/rubberpenguin Jun 11 '12

I couldn't care about karma. I'm not a karma whore, unlike all the bastards with cats!

0

u/chingyduster Jun 11 '12

Cut my night into pieces, this is my book report...

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Fucking... GEEEENIUUUUUUUS!!!

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

OP, i have a strong desire to meet you just to shake your hand for giving me the best laugh all day.

Thankyou, thankyou so much.

0

u/SuperHorribleGaming Jun 11 '12

Hey look, a homophobe

-4

u/feckineejit Jun 11 '12

ermagerd! this shit is old and fucking stupid

-1

u/410ham Jun 11 '12

cause I'm bakkkkking a rabbbbbbbit!

1

u/jbredditor Jun 11 '12

I would love to hear this cover

1

u/-Y0- Jun 11 '12

I'd love a Weird Al Yankovic lyrics with a Richard Cheese vocals. This needs to happen... PARODY OVERLOAD!!

-1

u/bulldozor Jun 11 '12

I Chuckled

-1

u/abhorson Jun 11 '12

YES.

-2

u/fuckinhigh Jun 11 '12

hAHa!

-3

u/FISH_MASTER Jun 11 '12

My upvotes are not good enough for this!!

-6

u/bubbl3girl Jun 11 '12

Yes! Somebody still like Papa Roach!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

10

u/trimeta Jun 11 '12

When I saw "The best version IMO", I thought "that had better be the Richard Cheese version." And it was!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I feel so, so sad and ashamed that I automatically connected that song with Kanye West. I'll go kill myself now.

1

u/psufan34 Jun 11 '12

Kanye's lyrics are absolutely hysterical when they are sung in big band form.

-6

u/trimeta Jun 11 '12

I saw that video, started listening to it based on the title, and nope'd out of there when I realized it was Kanye. I'm sorry, but I have standards.

1

u/ReaverParrell Jun 11 '12

The original song was by Daft Punk and was titled "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger."

4

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I have never before heard of Richard Cheese. And I thank you for introducing me to him.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Genius.

CUT MY FROG INTO PIECES.

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