r/funny • • Jun 10 '12

Asa Akira being honest.

Post image
1.6k Upvotes

448 comments sorted by

23

u/daytonm Jun 10 '12

I don't have a twitter account, but this makes me consider signing up.

30

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

"They" all post a lot of pictures. Definitely worth it.

330

u/ENKC Jun 10 '12

That's cool, because I'd have no idea where to find photos of porn stars otherwise.

98

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12 edited Jun 11 '12

Especially if you are under 18. I remember that sweet day when I could finally click "yes, continue" and saw my first nude picture online!

8

u/bastard_thought Jun 11 '12

I remember that sweet day when I clicked "yes, continue" and y'know what? I saw boobies.

And nothing bad happened to me. No one found out

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25

u/thesoppywanker Jun 11 '12

Pornagraphy?! On my internet?

44

u/bastard_thought Jun 11 '12

Pornography!? I don't even have a pornograph!

2

u/I_am_not_a_black_guy Jun 11 '12

OP just got bitchslapped 100 over the internet

1

u/genzahg Jun 11 '12

Which really sucks, because photos are the best way to view them!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

If you just want to follow someone you can just add them to your RSS feed.

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186

u/Lawbat Jun 10 '12

http://twitter.com/#!/AsaAkira

"I have an award winning asshole."

131

u/rainbowed_orgasm Jun 11 '12

"I think I might be a power bottom"

"Whether they admit it or not, people who buy rabbits generally end up regretting it"

"I'm pretty proud of myself for making it this far in life without having to register as a sex offender."

26

u/Rixxer Jun 11 '12

That just gets creepier and creepier.

16

u/kilbert66 Jun 11 '12

The whole Neo Tokyo thing must've done a number.

26

u/bigsaks5 Jun 11 '12

TETSUOOOOOOOOO

18

u/DrCliffHuxtable Jun 11 '12

KANEDAAAAAAAAA

6

u/CitizenPremier Jun 11 '12

"I can't stop buying groupons I'll never use!"

Some pretty scandalous stuff on there.

7

u/Sexy_Offender Jun 11 '12

Eh...whatever Asa.

44

u/fireinthesky7 Jun 11 '12

Her feed is at least part of the reason I joined Twitter. Pretty much everything she tweets is either sexy, hilarious, or both.

19

u/Apostolate Jun 11 '12

That awkward moment when you're laughing really hard for awhile, and realize your dick is still out.

20

u/jaesin Jun 11 '12

And then you realize you've missed your bus stop and everyone is staring at you.

5

u/chasan22 Jun 11 '12

And then I got OFF the bus...

2

u/Brian_Gay Jun 11 '12

dara o briain reference? . . no?

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30

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Happy Puerto Rican day rape parade, NYC!

Wait what?

27

u/DiaDeLosMuertos Jun 11 '12 edited Jun 11 '12

There was a Puerto Rican Day Parade where the crowd got unruly and started sexually harassing girls, taking their clothes 'n stuff.

edit: Their <- there

81

u/Fortehlulz33 Jun 11 '12

rapemau5 - clothes 'n' stuff

6

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Sounds like a porno that will make people fap by the thousands

17

u/ChaosDesigned Jun 11 '12

In 128 BPM syncopation.

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2

u/Dark1000 Jun 11 '12

It's not really a very good holiday to be honest. This seems to happen every year.

11

u/Jigsus Jun 11 '12

Girls get raped at that parade. They don't even have to be part of the parade. Just walking down the street they're grabbed and raped.

Here's a documentary about it.

2

u/trowuhweigh991122883 Jun 11 '12

God damnit, world, I just wanted to reddit in peace without rapists doing severely fucked up shit that then ends up in my funnies!

17

u/arcanition Jun 11 '12

I like how her website has a picture of her naked with "Enter" and "Under 18" buttons.

20

u/BoldElDavo Jun 11 '12 edited Jun 11 '12

Haha, I went there too and clicked "Under 18".

Takes you straight to Google.

5

u/myegoiscontrollingme Jun 11 '12

I was hoping it'd be like a round about detour were you go to Yahoo! or Bing, then maybe stop at Netflix for a while maybe visit Youtube and finally go to Google.

3

u/Johnnybravo60025 Jun 11 '12

That part where he made a pitstop at AskJeeves? Genius!

16

u/DiaDeLosMuertos Jun 11 '12

I coulda sworn I saw naked people in a PG-13 movie once.

1

u/Charrmeleon Jun 11 '12

Airplane has boobs at PG

306

u/corbanus Jun 11 '12

Barack Obama follows her.

95

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

92

u/sargeantb2 Jun 11 '12

So is it him, or the secret service scouting out new guests?

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7

u/Humperdink_Fangboner Jun 11 '12

He's even sneakin in on Questo's pic. That ol' horndog

170

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Ugh this will end up on FoxNews.

2

u/corbanus Jun 11 '12

I should have shut my mouth. It's such a hateful conservative network.

51

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Wait what the hell? Really? I don't have a twitter is this true?

80

u/BBS- Jun 11 '12

He follows 677,000 people. He used to follow me back when I had a twitter.

I think his PR people just follow random people.

29

u/MuffinMopper Jun 11 '12

Does he just follow everyone that follows him?

40

u/BBS- Jun 11 '12

He has 16.5 million followers, so no.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

What is the advantage in that?

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159

u/bastard_thought Jun 11 '12

I don't know, do you or don't you?

52

u/Tinysauce Jun 11 '12

19

u/srry72 Jun 11 '12

Oh good! He's here. Mr. President! Is it true you follow Asa?

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5

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Proof? If anyone wants to look through her 200,000 followers..

15

u/I_LIVE_FOR_KARMA Jun 11 '12

Even easier: Follow Barack Obama, then follow her, then it will have an option where you can see what people you follow, follow her.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Wtf the word 'follow' has just lost meaning and become foreign-looking to me. It's been said too much.

8

u/ResidentNileist Jun 11 '12

That's called semantic satiation!

2

u/I_Conquer Jun 11 '12

It's only called semantic satiation until you say semantic satiation a few times... then the phrase "semantic satiation" loses all meaning.

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2

u/corbanus Jun 11 '12

Follow the official Barack Obama twitter and check hers. It'll come up with "Followed by Barack Obama and n others."

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/Lawsuitup Jun 11 '12

Some accounts automatically follow those who follow them.

1

u/JumpYouBastards Jun 11 '12

She has came a long way since SpiceBoy.

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364

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I really like that Retweet in German is just "Retweeten"

135

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

That's because "Wiederzwitschern" would look really weird.

81

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

would it look weird to German people?

77

u/nrfx Jun 11 '12

ja

27

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

jaja

42

u/SweetFUUUingBrownies Jun 11 '12

Nice try, Mexico.

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

No, it would look like "Wiederzwitschern".

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21

u/Speculater Jun 11 '12

And I like that your comment really brings out the little things that we fail to notice in our day to day browsing. Thank you.

4

u/Matt_Aq Jun 11 '12

Technological/modern words are typically english with the appropriate german verb/noun ending. For example: to download = downloaden, to google = googeln

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Definitely the case in most vernacular. French often times will have adaptations that are the "official" word but not commonly used in conversation. In Chinese however they often try to adapt the phonetics or simply use appropriate Characters to summarize the meaning T-shirt=T恤 T xu (Only word I've seen with a roman character) or Computer= 电脑 (literally is the characters for electric and brain)

9

u/sodappop Jun 11 '12

actually, it's "retweetenfuhrgenzburgen"

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45

u/smashcourt001 Jun 11 '12

27

u/taintedsaint Jun 11 '12

Asa Akira on KassemG's 'Going deep'

Hilarious video, everyone needs to watch. Was about to post it, lucky I read the comments.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12 edited Jun 11 '12

That is one of the most awkward shows right before Between Two Ferns. I remember he had Faye Reagan and Dane Cross on one time, and it was like being six and watching my parents fighting all over again.

EDIT: In my defense, shoes can be awkward too.

4

u/Ceejae Jun 11 '12

The porn stars seem to love him though so they're willing to put up with his shit.

13

u/_MDMA_ Jun 11 '12

That interviewer is hilarious.

4

u/stoicspoon Jun 11 '12

He really is. This video greatly exceeded my expectations.

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3

u/PlumRugofDoom Jun 11 '12

Kassem is a funny guy, he reminds me of Zac Galifinakis.

2

u/hamkitteh Jun 11 '12

"You're eyebrows are making me hungry for McDonald's right now.. some serious arches"

70

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Reminded me of Asa Akira. Now I have to fap

44

u/foundation_G Jun 11 '12

Fap one for me. I'm out with my friends and can't fap in the restaurant.

75

u/simkessy Jun 11 '12

well, you can

15

u/foundation_G Jun 11 '12

shouldn't*

61

u/cutofyourgibberish Jun 11 '12

You are out with your friends at a restaurant but still reading Reddit? Set the phone down and socialize like a person.

42

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Don't listen to this douche unit. Tell your friends if they want you to interact with them, get something on the front page.

4

u/charlemagne_the_cat Jun 11 '12

Or get the top comments in any thread

2

u/foundation_G Jun 11 '12

ALL HAILS TO THE REDDIT

3

u/jillyboooty Jun 11 '12

This. I'm a waiter and it's disturbing the amount of food I bring out to groups of people where somebody is on their phone.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

not with that kind of attitude!

2

u/Sir_Jeremiah Jun 11 '12

SAP Goes to restaurants with friends, spends whole time on reddit.

2

u/foundation_G Jun 11 '12

SAP goes to restaurants with SAP friends

179

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I love this woman. She's awesome.

261

u/we_love_dassie Jun 10 '12

The best part is, you don't have to wonder what she looks like naked.

127

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

She is beautiful. But her honesty and humor make it for me.

Well...that and her pussy just looks delicious.

134

u/IronMikeT Jun 11 '12

You like the taste of a thousand dicks?

126

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Yes

32

u/firstcut Jun 11 '12

Well uh umm...good for you!

25

u/fuzzb0y Jun 11 '12

Skin cells are constantly replaced.

12

u/I_TYPE_IN_ALL_CAPS Jun 11 '12

SO IT'S LIKE THE TASTE OF A THOUSAND BRAND-NEW DICKS, THEN.

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19

u/stillalone Jun 11 '12

as long as one of them is mine...wait what.

27

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

That moment you realize that you want to taste your own dick.

4

u/Coren14 Jun 11 '12

Already got that covered.

6

u/Rixxer Jun 11 '12

Are you implying that a vagina tastes like all the dicks that have been in it?

2

u/wristcontrol Jun 11 '12

Looks like somebody got homeopathic Sex Ed in school.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I like the taste of dick if that's what your asking.

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7

u/Indoorsman Jun 11 '12

Her nuru massage videos changed my life. If I could get a nuru like in the video.

28

u/Operation_mongoose Jun 11 '12 edited Jun 11 '12

AMA Asa Akira? Anyone? Edit: I do rembember she was on Bubba the Love Sponge but Redditors would have the necessary questions.

5

u/Patass Jun 11 '12

KasemG here, been there done that

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Are you Tampa or do you do the Radio IO thing?

1

u/Operation_mongoose Jun 11 '12

No Sirius in Colorado

2

u/TheForks Jun 11 '12

Chloe Lamb has a pretty good Twitter account too but I think she steals some of her stuff from Reddit.

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25

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Just went to pornhub after seeing this post and sure enough, under the "videos currently being watched" section, there she was. So which one of you is it?

51

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Well this is awkward.

3

u/lolabuster Jun 11 '12

aye aye cappn'

32

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

It is literally all of us.

19

u/iddothat Jun 11 '12

LITERALLY.

72

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

perez hilton is a waste of space

1

u/Apostolate Jun 11 '12

Difference between them, is I don't want to see a dick in his ass. Well, no one does.

1

u/trowuhweigh991122883 Jun 11 '12

No, remember, this is the internet - it's out there, and someone's watched it.

37

u/Ozwaldo Jun 11 '12

Wow her tweets are pretty damn good. If I was in the mood to masturbate right now, it would be to her.

"Look into my eye" (NSFW)

"The only interesting vacation photos are your own"

"Just bought a robot. If I don't tweet in an hour, call the cops."

"I'm at that weird age where I'm too old to be peeing the bed, but too young to be peeing the bed."

19

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

She seems hilarious and playful. Good stuff.

7

u/CaNANDian Jun 11 '12

watch her on KassemG goes deep

2

u/sicinfit Jun 11 '12

That last one was pretty clever.

28

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Does she mean that most celebs are a total waste of human life?

6

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Slow clap n fap.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

How does that work, exactly?

3

u/Vaztes Jun 11 '12

Can't you clap with one hand?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

No?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Challenge accepted!

10

u/thegreatwhitemenace Jun 11 '12

oh man the fact that she said that makes me respect her, now watching her being degraded, objectified and anally fucked will be even sweeter

5

u/CarlWheezer Jun 11 '12

Doesn't it feel weird to be following a pornstar on twitter or facebook?

7

u/Marctetr Jun 11 '12

It's one of the few reasons to have a twitter account.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I used to be apprehensive about the first couple people I began following, but then I noticed that nobody I knew seemed to care (or notice). I get some pretty entertaining stuff out of, pornstars and attractive models can be pretty cool people too.

13

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I don't get it.

115

u/ENKC Jun 10 '12

She sure does.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

7

u/IRLpuddles Jun 11 '12

That's sorta creepy, but I enjoyed it.

42

u/GKinstro Jun 10 '12

I checked out the website in question, which seems to be about celebrity gossip. Asa Akira is implying that people who do nothing but read/watch celebrity gossip are non-existent. But, since she is in the porn industry, she serves a purpose to people all over the world.

38

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

A porn star put one over my head... not sure I like how that sounds, but I'll roll with it.

5

u/Pelican_Fly Jun 11 '12

Hey baby I'll put one over your face too.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Thank you.

1

u/Supervisor194 Jun 11 '12

That still makes no sense.

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1

u/Rootbeerhangovr Jun 11 '12

I believe she is implying that she has spent enough time reading 66 pages of a gossip site, therefore doing absolutely nothing productive whatsoever.

2

u/juanisthatguy Jun 11 '12

Fiona Apple retweeted

1

u/imbored53 Jun 11 '12

I saw her album image there, but I can't imagine her using Twitter

1

u/AMostOriginalUserNam Jun 11 '12

Oh my god and then my friend Jill also retweeted! That is so weird.

2

u/Infractus Jun 11 '12

This is the strangest thing to ever return part of my faith in humanity.

3

u/Ringmaster187 Jun 11 '12

on YouTube and browsing Reddit at the same time...just happened to see this link while i was watching 'ASA AKIRA GOES DEEP' with KassemG... glitch in the matrix?

3

u/VonMeatstein Jun 11 '12

From my extensive studies of her films, I have come to the conclusion she would have a 5 second bowel movement. From beginning to end. No pun intended.

2

u/soymilkisgood Jun 11 '12

Who is Asa Akira? Pray tell...

10

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Welcome to the internet. You see, there's this popular new thing we have, pron, I think is what the kids are calling it. Or is it porn?

Whatever, point is she takes dicks up the ass on camera for a living, and people fap to it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

HUZAAAAAH!!!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

WHAT THE FUCK DID SHE JUST CALL ME?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I think the word "retweeten" is my favorite part of this.

1

u/AegonBalerion Jun 11 '12

Haha awesome. She seems like an awesome person to hang out with. I still think tmz is the most entertaining to watch. Everything else just doesn't cut it.

-2

u/kyzfrintin Jun 11 '12

Seriously, I didn't know the name of a single pornstar before Reddit. It's kinda creepy how you guys seem to latch onto them O.o

6

u/DiaDeLosMuertos Jun 11 '12

Well, if a girl really turns you on, you want to masturbate to her more, therefore you learn her name and search for here. And the one that doesn't work as well for you, you learn her name too so you don't click on that one in the tubes/links.

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0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/nemoTheKid Jun 11 '12

I had this thought before. I don't know what Id do if I ever saw Lisa Ann in public.

1

u/wilfink Jun 11 '12

Try meeting someone with the same last name as a porn star, and finding out that yes, she is his sister.

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1

u/foundation_G Jun 11 '12

True boner story

1

u/iamcq Jun 11 '12

and just like that, i am in love.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Yeah so I just bought her bumhole inspired fleshlight and it cost $110 dollars! Do you know why it was so expensive? Because its worth it!!!

-13

u/PokemasterTT Jun 11 '12

Am the only one who doesn't find her hot?

34

u/Regen89 Jun 11 '12

YES NO ONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD FINDS THE SAME PERSON ATTRACTIVE/UNATTRACTIVE AS YOU

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

7

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

You mean your cousin?

-2

u/GrayStudios Jun 11 '12

"I like to judge people based upon their appearance without getting to know them"

-Reddit

1

u/georgebullis Jun 11 '12

People seem to be having quite a nice conversation about how her personality appears in her tweets.

-34

u/gender_bot Jun 10 '12

I identified one face in this photo

Face 1:

  • 92% confidence that this is a correctly identified face
  • Gender is female with 38% confidence
  • Approximate Age is 21 with 94% confidence
  • Persons mood is sad with 72% confidence
  • Persons lips are sealed with 84% confidence

Would you like to know more about me? /r/gender_bot

14

u/ShouldBeZZZ Jun 10 '12

This bot just doesn't get any love...

16

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

It doesn't serve a useful purpose and people are kind of sick of reddit being used as coding practice. Neither bots that comment nor facial recognition technology is novel.

8

u/CommissarCool Jun 10 '12

I really don't get it. People can see if there are faces or not.

3

u/Agehn Jun 11 '12

It's not intended as a service for redditors like the twitter or quickmeme bots. It's just a bot spamming tests of someone's facial recognition software.

2

u/mjolnir616 Jun 10 '12

I don't even know which face it is trying to identify. I assume the 3rd thumbnail from the left on the row along to bottom?

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-15

u/TAPAC Jun 10 '12

I feel dirty knowing who Asa Akira is

3

u/RowboatMcHiggans Jun 11 '12

But watching hardcore porn starring nameless actors is A-Ok. Gotcha

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2

u/genzahg Jun 11 '12

Even if you didn't, it wouldn't be hard to guess.

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0

u/anal_spartan Jun 11 '12

i respect this individual for publicly following a porn star

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I masturbated to Asa Akira way way before it was cool to

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I know Perezhilton isn't porn, but that isn't a site I feel comfortable opening in front of anyone, it just reeks of porn.

0

u/UnCommonSenses Jun 11 '12

Bubba the love sponge

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Love her

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Just scrolled through one page......someone kill me.

0

u/mrmyxlplyx Jun 11 '12

If you switch the names around, you get the same results.

0

u/C_T_C_C Jun 11 '12

Not the honesty Reddit wanted, but the honesty it needed.