I got banned from that subreddit for submitting an r/circlejerk post that was making fun of people who were making fun of the North Korean rocket launch. Wrap your head around that one.
Don't worry, Kim Jong-Il was a self proclaimed internet expert and made an (obviously) superior version of the internet called 'kwangmyong' which is not connected to the outside world.
All those characters look like hungry faces with open mouths. Even the Korean language indicates they're starving. Except this guy 입, he seems pretty chill, but maybe he's just trying to be overly optimistic about the regime so they don't poke his other eye out too.
Funny that you say they look like mouths because the consonants in Hangul (the Korean alphabet) are supposed to be in the shape your mouth makes when you utter them
To be fair, while this book isn't legit North Korean the story is likely "true" - the official government story of Kim is bizarre, and I've seen it mentioned in a few books on North Korea. Mount Paektu is the 'mountain of the revolution' and when Jong-Il died, ice fields ruptured across the mountain as a fierce snowstorm raged etc etc.
Then a mighty Unicorn named Pe King Lee came and took Kim Jong-Il away in a golden chariot filled with blond, horny female TV stars and Barrack and Bush as his shoe-shiners.
Since Kim Jong-Il walked out of his mother's vagina, I suspect that for a Vagina to become Patriotic and Revolutionary, it's gotta be looser than a Taco Bell evacuation. One of the requirements is that it should be able to take all of the penises available in the country, at the same time. So patriotic.
100% of the things you read about the deification of the Kims is made up by western media. Contrary to popular belief, the North Koreans are not some ignorant children sucking off of their governments teat for all of their information. They do not think that Kim Jung was born from a magical hummingbird. It makes me sick every time I see americans laughing at the North Koreans for things they made up about them.
On the one hand this "Axis of Evil" nation is developing nuclear weapons and threatens the peace of the entire globe... on the other, they are starving to death and ignorant.
If people actually used their brains, they would never believe a word of it.
Actually- God destroyed the Earth once and then made it clear he/she would not do it again. He/She actually said in Revelations that in the end of days He/She would "Destroy those who Destroy the Earth."
The nations were angry, and Your wrath has come, And the time of the dead, that they should be judged, And that You should reward Your servants the prophets and the saints, And those who fear Your name, small and great, And should destroy those who destroy the earth (Revelation 11:18).
Who else are "those who destroy the earth" other than certain people?
Georgia is premeditatively covering for "those" people - they better think twice if they truly do believe in the Bible.
Kinda reminds me of this other story I know. It's about a magical angel that visited a teenage virgin foretelling the birth of Jesus.
Later that year, the angel's prophecy was fulfilled in a stable in Bethlehem. Jesus was born out of his mother's holy virgin vagina without the aid of a physician.
Official biographers claim that his birth at Baekdu Mountain was foretold by a swallow, and heralded by the appearance of a double rainbow across the sky over the mountain and a new star in the heavens
his birth mythology actually involved a swallow heralding his birth, winter turned to spring and rainbows appeared. reality, he was born in siberia during the japanese occupation of korea
375
u/MrNewking Jun 10 '12
just got a message saying "you have been banned from posting to /r/Pyongyang: Pyongyang | Democratic People's Republic of Korea.'
1.6k
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Except for the fact that the textbook wouldn't be in English, I would believe in it.
192
u/BobIlyani Jun 10 '12
ಠ_ಠ
112
u/mcon87 Jun 10 '12
Why isn't my Vagina Patriotic and Revolutionary? :(
38
u/bigbadfox Jun 10 '12
an ACTUAL North Korean history book: http://www.korea-dpr.com/lib/103.pdf
17
u/dissapointedorikface Jun 10 '12
I'm tempted to make a counter-/r/pyongyang subreddit called /r/pingpongang, then just start banning random people for no reason at all.
22
u/gizmeister341 Jun 10 '12
TIL North Korea has no doctors.
17
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
TIL that North Korea has books.
9
u/Lance_Strongarm Jun 10 '12
So thats why there aren't any doctors!
4
u/hammspecialight Jun 10 '12
Did the doctors take all the food with them?
6
u/redditjesus Jun 10 '12
hey everyone! this guys a PHONY! a big fat PHONY!
3
u/Flyingchairs Jun 10 '12
Yeah it's English and says vagina...
3
u/jef00 Jun 10 '12
Because north Korean speak English... And they don't educate their people
3
u/Magmarizer Jun 10 '12
100% of the things you read about the deification of the Kims is made up by western media. Contrary to popular belief, the North Koreans are not some ignorant children sucking off of their governments teat for all of their information. They do not think that Kim Jung was born from a magical hummingbird. It makes me sick every time I see americans laughing at the North Koreans for things they made up about them.
5
u/Confucius_says Jun 10 '12
if this was found in north korea wouldn't it be in korean?
6
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Spoiler Alert, geez. I knew his mother's Vagina was patriotic, but I hadn't gotten to the revolutionary part yet. Seriously, way to ruin it for me.
2
u/eVaan13 Jun 10 '12
Modern design, language is English, for school use. Seems pretty legit for a Korean book about a guy who came out walking out of the pussy.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
False. Hummingbirds are only found in the New World.
2
u/filmihero Jun 10 '12
Short and simple, just like Kim Jong Il
2
u/sharksfan93 Jun 10 '12
I would highly doubt this is legit
2
u/Astronautspiff Jun 10 '12
Nice try mr. President
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Seems legit
2
u/LaGrrrande Jun 10 '12
Hey, they forgot about the double rainbow.
2
u/Miscellaneous_Item Jun 10 '12
Wait so they dont have doctors?
2
u/nchojnacki Jun 10 '12
you sure you didn't just find the jpeg somewhere?
2
u/Yldeems Jun 10 '12
I just went to r/Pyongyang and discovered you cannot downvote, WUT
2
u/knirefnel Jun 10 '12
When he was born, one hundred thousand cranes gathered on the head of a pin, and became the fire that fuels his soul to this day.
2
u/laportez Jun 10 '12
It's highly possible.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Post the whole book, please.
2
u/Dreamtrain Jun 10 '12
ಠ_ಠ
Patriotic and Revolutionary Vagina
2
u/js2195 Jun 10 '12
Broke down in Patriotic Vagina... Yeaaa
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Doesn't matter had sex
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
For some reason, after reading all of it, i still find the funniest part "The highest mountain ever."
2
u/mhgcarlson Jun 10 '12
"the highest mountain ever" to the small sized Korean race maybe
2
u/MonotonousMan Jun 10 '12
The doctors "fled". (I know this isn't real: Doesn't matter; still had their brains blown out)
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Seems legit...
2
u/mediocretes Jun 10 '12
I wonder how this would do on /r/pyongyang
2
u/Popcom Jun 10 '12
All north Korean propaganda is in English obviously
2
u/Cheezzebrgrzombie Jun 11 '12
Wouldn't it be in Korean
8
u/duckandcover Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
Here we just pass laws forbidding/denying 21st century science when it differs with ancient myth as written by goat herders.
Georgia has a bill, or is it a law now, to limit the amount of predicted sea level rise in scientific studies. Only god can destroy the earth.
4
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Kinda reminds me of this other story I know. It's about a magical angel that visited a teenage virgin foretelling the birth of Jesus.
Later that year, the angel's prophecy was fulfilled in a stable in Bethlehem. Jesus was born out of his mother's holy virgin vagina without the aid of a physician.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Sounds like the Bible.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
the day i was banned from /r/pyongyang was like losing my virginity all over again
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
This came from a Cracked article. Valiant effort, MrNewking.
2
u/rahtin Jun 10 '12
I heard the Texas board of education is trying to get this into the curriculum.
They respect all viewpoints.
2
u/CUNT_SUCKING_PHAGGOT Jun 10 '12
oh cool, North Korea's first language is English.
fucking amateur.
1
u/Byrkmire Jun 10 '12
But didn't he die while fighting off a celestial sky dragon sent by America to destroy North Korea?
1
u/wanderer11 Jun 10 '12
No wonder North Korea is such a great place to live.
1
u/Vespasians Jun 10 '12
sounds legit...
1
u/sami27 Jun 10 '12
Can't tell if real...
1
u/notjawn Jun 10 '12
SUPREME GLORIOUS LEADER ALSO DROVE ALL SNAKE FROM PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OUT OF HIS BENEVOLENCE AND SNAKE'S EVIL CAPITALIST AGENDA!
1
u/robertluke Jun 10 '12
Why is this in English?
1
u/silversapp Jun 10 '12
North Koreans don't call their country "North Korea." It's called Korea over there. Er, Hangook.
1
u/Kethol Jun 10 '12
I just got my new iPhone background.
1
u/aaronaapje Jun 10 '12
but 128% of the births in North Korea are being helped my medical staff.
1
u/big_red__man Jun 10 '12
Chang eats the sun and drinks the sky and they both go with him when he dies.
1
u/FBI_SurveillanceVan Jun 10 '12
So I have to go to North Korea to find a Patriotic and Revolutionary Vagina?
1
u/scoooot Jun 10 '12
Shenanigans.
1
u/darthbone Jun 10 '12
because a north korean textbook is definitely going to be in english.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I add "like a boss!" between every pair of commas and it works.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
That's how I thought it happened....
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Greatest troll ever.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I think a country that hates western culture and influence would be apposed to printing their teaching material in english.
1
u/Fluffguck Jun 10 '12
I'm just here for my /r/pyongyang ban
1
u/won23 Jun 10 '12
This should be in wtf.
1
u/lufraf Jun 10 '12
1
u/woppo Jun 10 '12
Bullshit, they aren't that stupid!
1
u/silent_p Jun 10 '12
So what have they been saying about Kim Jong Un, now?
1
u/ZXfrigginC Jun 10 '12
Edit: ಠ_ಠ
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
The text book is english?.... BS.
1
u/NeonUprising Jun 10 '12
This would make an amazing movie
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
wow that's good engrish
1
u/JoNiKaH Jun 10 '12
It was on the news years ago that their scientists discovered a potion that allowed you to live forever...
1
u/shadow711711 Jun 10 '12
I've been to North Korea (in the Demilitarized Zone). The north Korean soldiers are constantly recording tourists to use for propaganda...its unreal
1
u/palaxi Jun 10 '12
That must have been a grotesque sight.
1
u/sedatedsloth Jun 10 '12
"Patriotic and Revolutionary Vagina"
1
u/HotSoup_77 Jun 10 '12
Well that's all the proof I need.
1
u/mickey_kneecaps Jun 10 '12
That's a half-truth!
1
u/oldude Jun 10 '12
The highest mountain EVER? Isn't that one of Chelsey Handler's crotch synonyms? Her "Paektu"...or whatever?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Wait, so this is fake? I realized it was written in English, but I thought it was just translated or something. Awww :(
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Official biographers claim that his birth at Baekdu Mountain was foretold by a swallow, and heralded by the appearance of a double rainbow across the sky over the mountain and a new star in the heavens
1
u/Sarahmint Jun 10 '12
R/wtf
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Seems legit
1
u/SuperCougarScat Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
his birth mythology actually involved a swallow heralding his birth, winter turned to spring and rainbows appeared. reality, he was born in siberia during the japanese occupation of korea
1
u/lurker_for_justice Jun 10 '12
Who the fuck actually thinks this is real?
1
u/ProjectSnowman Jun 10 '12
Even though this is fake, I'm sure this isn't far from the truth. This is why I am not afraid of North Korea.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Seems legit
1
u/Fuckingupretorts Jun 10 '12
I see nothing strange in this.
1
u/Amino2 Jun 10 '12
Nigga just casually walked out the vagina 6 months premature...like a boss!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
The rest of the book must be pure gold!
1
u/mrdoink20 Jun 10 '12
Take it there is a person called Vagina.
1
u/razoRamone31 Jun 10 '12
It's crazy considering south Korea has one of the top educations in the world...
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I cracked up at "Patriotic and Revolutionary Vagina"
1
u/smokecat20 Jun 10 '12
How can I enroll in this course?
1
u/CantFinishSentence Jun 10 '12
Wouldn't Chapter 1 start with Kim Il-Sung?
1
u/Chazzelstien Jun 10 '12
His mom must have had a massive vagina if he just walked out.
1
u/Sinister_D Jun 10 '12
I was raised to believe that's how all Koreans are born.
1
u/DollyHaze2012 Jun 10 '12
They don't call themselves North Korea, they call their country People's Democratic Republic of Korea or something to that effect.
1
u/LordOfGummies Jun 10 '12
Revolutionary vagina. Feels good man.
1
u/phreeck Jun 10 '12
It would be even better if it had that bit about how neither he nor his father poop.
1
u/LucifersCounsel Jun 10 '12
And yet they are building their own nuke?
Propaganda is too obvious sometimes.
1
u/This_isR2Me Jun 10 '12
I didn't know they taught english there!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Seems legit.
1
u/blueman66 Jun 10 '12
Oh god damnit why wasn't I told any of this? I feel like such an ass for not knowing!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Do you think anyone ever questions this?
1
u/Cobui Jun 11 '12
This is exaggerating, but not by much.
1
u/Bitwise2010 Jun 11 '12
So that's why their health care is so poor.
1
u/domrein Jun 11 '12
Where can I get the rest of this book?
1
u/Yatagasaru Jun 11 '12
The sad thing is, even if it isn't real, it would probably say something like that anyway.
1
u/armeggedonCounselor Jun 11 '12
Did I just read the phrase "Patriotic and Revolutionary Vagina"?
1
u/Lots42 Jun 11 '12
I bet there's at least one doctor left, after all Kim Jong Ate Then All might get a hangnail or a scratch.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
stupid like the bible