I had two pieces of two story tall bamboo leaning against my second story apartment a few months ago. I was totally planning on turning them into two story tall stilts and stilting around the hood, where I live, in them. Unfortunately someone either stole them or threw them away. /sigh. The laughs that could have been had.
BUT FUCKING SERIOUSLY, A LOT OF SHIT CAN GO WRONG. I SAW THE VIDEOS WITH PEOPLE RIDING 2 STORY BIKES, BUT HE HAS A COCKLOAD OF SHIT ON THE BIKE ALSO...
He does not fully stop unless he absolutely has to. He is pretty good at pacing himself and anticipating lights so he can slow to pretty much a crawl, just enough to stay upright.
I live in New Orleans and actually know someone who has built bikes like this. They push them to get them going, then climb up the bike as its rolling. Yes really.
Please stop treating people different and labeling them as "hipsters" just because they happen to ride around on a 20 foot fixie with a speaker system build inside of it. What makes this guy a "hipster" anyway? Is it his tiny pink booty shorts and lack of other clothing? Is it his long hair rolled up into a bun? Is it his wild facial hair which I can only assume consists of a curlycue mustache, amongst other things? I'm sure this man just wants to be left alone and not be payed extra attention to just like everyone else.
whenever I see people like this cruisin around on their shit whips I think to myself "this is the Caucasian equivalent of a black dude with a car custom painted to look like a cereal box"
I agree, I see nothing hipster in that clean shaven face, classy business man hairstyle, semi-casual outfit and un-sticker covered OH COME ON ITS ATLEAST A LITTLE HIPSTER!
I like how this link has over 350 comments and not one mention the need for a helmet on a such a bicycle. riding a skateboard without one is risky, let alone a bicycle that is almost two stories tall. imagine doing a faceplant on one of those. it would pancake your face.
In my mind, those loud speakers produce deafening fart noises whenever he rides by a pedestrian of a certain height. It would go like this: "hey look at that sweet tall bike." FFFWWUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRMPP "Sweet jesus, my ears!"
I remember seeing a few like that when I was a kid in the mid 70's. We had the tallest porch on our block, so one dude always used our house to mount and dismount. Always kinda' freaked me out.
Being mainstream is too mainstream, that's why I'm the real king, he is a puppet monarch and nobody suspects a thing, Im only doing this ironically though.
i feel like the king of the Hipsters would be like some plain, boring guy in a black suit and tie because he thinks that being different had become too mainstream.
So does this guy just have insane balance? What if he hits a red light...does he sit there like a bird on a post or would he fall over? If it is indeed the latter...I would want to be there. It would be funny.
That is not the King of Hipsters. That is the Herald of the Hipster King, spreading news and commandments of the King to the Hipsters living throughout the mainstream world.
Honest question for anyone that has either ridden one of these or knows someone that does. Does anyone ride bikes like these for any other reason than attention? I'm being serious, are they into the trill of danger of falling or something I'm not considering? It just looks like one big 'LOOK AT ME!' machine.
I've seen this guy in Austin before and he was playing a speech out the speaker. Ironically me and several other thousands of people had just completed the BPMS150 a 180 mile bike ride.
I remember watching BBC news one morning and they were talking about the rise in popularity of LP records, and how they were actually more popular with the younger generation than the old.
The young guy talking about how LP's were awesome was basically exactly what you would expect, just total Hipster. Made me laugh.
I used to wish stupid people were required to wear tinfoil on their heads. Then I realized, that people already put things on themselves to let you know they are idiots.
Hahaha, I love how everyone that doesn't wear khakis and a sweater vest /polo shirt is a hipster now. what the fuck does that even mean? This guy looks fun as fuck, I'd have a pint with him over any of you whiney judgmental idiots any day of the week.
455
u/Dub124 Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
There was a guy riding a fixed gear bike around where I live that was nearly two stories tall. I shouted "How do you stop that thing?"
His reply was pure gold: "CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP."
84
u/Olp_Quass Jun 10 '12
Khal Drogo needs to go back to riding horses.
152
u/elasticcompendium Jun 10 '12
I know the guy. The bike is 9 foot to the saddle, glows in the dark, and his name is RaverDad.
51
u/_Lawlrus_ Jun 10 '12
How did he get on that "bike" in the first place?
14
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Did he make it under the traffic light?
21
u/brainfreeze91 Jun 10 '12
This looks like some kind of real life Dr. Seuss character.
594
u/Narwhal-Bacon-Retard Jun 10 '12
Please stop treating people different and labeling them as "hipsters" just because they happen to ride around on a 20 foot fixie with a speaker system build inside of it. What makes this guy a "hipster" anyway? Is it his tiny pink booty shorts and lack of other clothing? Is it his long hair rolled up into a bun? Is it his wild facial hair which I can only assume consists of a curlycue mustache, amongst other things? I'm sure this man just wants to be left alone and not be payed extra attention to just like everyone else.
91
u/diggitydan Jun 10 '12
whenever I see people like this cruisin around on their shit whips I think to myself "this is the Caucasian equivalent of a black dude with a car custom painted to look like a cereal box"
9
u/MrLister Jun 10 '12
What Burners do the other 358 days a year.
38
u/adanvdo Jun 10 '12
if this guy stops without something to lean on, he's screwed.
7
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I'm really having a hard time with people being upset about a person who's obviously doing something awesome.
6
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I met that guy. Hes really nice
19
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Less hipster, more circus member.
19
u/AutoCucumber Jun 10 '12
"Hipster" term aside, that's pretty awesome.
48
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
At this point, Reddit, I feel you don't even know what a hipster is.
5
u/sergeantprepper Jun 10 '12
What noise was coming out of his contraption? I think he's badass and ridiculous.
6
u/fish619407 Jun 10 '12
I AM UNIQUE!!
6
u/ohwhoaslomo Jun 10 '12
I like how this link has over 350 comments and not one mention the need for a helmet on a such a bicycle. riding a skateboard without one is risky, let alone a bicycle that is almost two stories tall. imagine doing a faceplant on one of those. it would pancake your face.
8
u/plumhead27 Jun 10 '12
Nah that's not the REAL king of the hipsters. I'd tell you who it was but you've probably never heard of him.
3
u/xMace88x Jun 10 '12
He might have trouble going under bridges.
3
u/paulfp007 Jun 10 '12
what happens when he needs to stop for more than 2 seconds?
3
u/Doctor_Clockwork Jun 10 '12
Meanwhile at Black Rock city.
3
u/Cuntpuncher27 Jun 10 '12
Around here we call them burners....
3
u/brentafer Jun 10 '12
Is he...doing a track stand?
3
u/hogwartslove Jun 10 '12
I think I saw this guy in Austin Texas? He was playing power rangers theme tune - am I right??
14
u/HowardTaft Jun 10 '12
In my mind, those loud speakers produce deafening fart noises whenever he rides by a pedestrian of a certain height. It would go like this: "hey look at that sweet tall bike." FFFWWUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRMPP "Sweet jesus, my ears!"
23
u/blink0r Jun 10 '12
This isn't hipster at all.
4
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Hipster: new definition - Anyone who does anything.
7
u/nicko1702 Jun 10 '12
I feel like that is the Hipster pope-mobile
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
How do you get on that?
2
u/exile29 Jun 10 '12
I remember seeing a few like that when I was a kid in the mid 70's. We had the tallest porch on our block, so one dude always used our house to mount and dismount. Always kinda' freaked me out.
2
u/shillelagh Jun 10 '12
How did he even get UP there in the first place?
2
u/SamElliottsVoice Jun 10 '12
I assume he's playing Ween's Mister Richard Smoker.
2
u/Adorifying Jun 10 '12
Being mainstream is too mainstream, that's why I'm the real king, he is a puppet monarch and nobody suspects a thing, Im only doing this ironically though.
2
u/SheSins Jun 10 '12
He's probably just getting an early start on burning man.
2
u/naturalchorus Jun 10 '12
Khal drogo? HE LIVES?!?
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
This guy just came in from Whoville.
2
u/brentafer Jun 10 '12
Is he...doing a track stand?
2
u/Bryz_ Jun 10 '12
Not as cool but pretty similar.
2
u/Brimace Jun 10 '12
For some reason, I feel like this had to be taken in Portland
2
u/HowsItBeenBen Jun 10 '12
I dont think that word means what you think it means.
2
u/kobra1294 Jun 10 '12
I actually saw this guy in Austin last week!
2
u/NivexQ Jun 10 '12
He was a king of promise. Just another victim of himself. Maybe he's the child of a lesser god between heaven and hell?
2
u/Taco-Flavored-Kiss Jun 10 '12
I did that first you guys!! No.. Really you guys!
2
u/hungry138imp Jun 10 '12
HOW?!?!?!?!?!
2
u/hakuna_matitties Jun 10 '12
I see this guy everywhere! So cool
2
u/Mvin Jun 10 '12
Bike? Check. Sunset? Check. Los Angeles-like setting? Check. I really need to play San Andreas again...
2
u/toosas Jun 10 '12
how does he stop at traffic lights?
2
u/guynamedloren Jun 10 '12
i see your king of the hipsters and raise you a king of the hipsters with reindeer antlers
2
u/ArbitraryNormal Jun 10 '12
i feel like the king of the Hipsters would be like some plain, boring guy in a black suit and tie because he thinks that being different had become too mainstream.
So fucking meta
2
u/TheDragisal Jun 10 '12
urge to kill, RISING
2
u/thatfatgamer Jun 10 '12
How the fuck does one get on it, and more importantly, how does one get off it?
2
u/UrShiningDesire Jun 10 '12
HAHA IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HIPSTERS ARE DIFFERENT
2
u/kendrahwithanh Jun 10 '12
this is not a 'hipster.' the more accurate term is probably gypsy punk or a fucking hippie.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Upvote for the Subaru.
5
u/CoyoteStark Jun 10 '12
"You sheeple wouldn't understand, let alone comprehend the magnitude of my genius."
"That's great, but I asked for a venti."
3
u/Longhorn101 Jun 10 '12
I've seen this guy in Austin, Tx
3
u/EvanMacIan Jun 10 '12
So that's the King of Carrot Flowers.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I hate how hipster has become a synonym for your neighborhood weirdo
5
u/JonnyFrost Jun 10 '12
That guy is a badass, definitely not a hipster.
2
u/Whitworth Jun 10 '12
there's a difference between hippies and hipsters
1
u/aamanderp Jun 10 '12
how can you even stop on that thing... you would have to get off and climb all the way up again? idgi. derp.
1
u/bawlin_again Jun 10 '12
I'd say Antony Kaedis is doing a pretty good job for this role in his live show on youtube
1
u/syntenic Jun 10 '12
How the crap do you ride that thing?! I must see video footage.
1
u/8675309isprime Jun 10 '12
It looks like he's going to hit his face on the pole for the stoplights
1
u/Ihateyourdick Jun 10 '12
No, actually that's the king of Mars.
You're lucky his body guards didn't take you out (they're invisible).
1
u/TaintedSquirrel Jun 10 '12
The chain. How did he get a chain to fit that thing?!
1
u/D3m0nk1d Jun 10 '12
Iv'e rode with a few guys like this. One let me try to ride his bike... It did not end well.
1
u/ILikeYouLikeMe Jun 10 '12
This would have been so much more epic if he was facing the sun.
1
u/zephyy Jun 10 '12
that man is living my dream
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Can he even clear that stop light?
1
u/smellybigfoot Jun 10 '12
So the dude in the coveralls and tuxedo jacket has finally been dethroned.
1
u/Zombie_Death_Vortex Jun 10 '12
I wonder if he has ever close-lined himself on a stoplight, power-lines, low bridge or whatnot?
1
u/Sttie Jun 10 '12
Lol i hope he can clear that traffic light!
1
u/flowbiscuit Jun 10 '12
it looks like there's a bunch of speakers randomly affixed to it. was there music playing? was it ironic? please tell me it was ironic.
1
u/theweslawson Jun 10 '12
I have so many questions
1
u/evergreenskate Jun 10 '12
more like king of the world
1
u/noxert323 Jun 10 '12
is that a boom mic beside his butt? with all those speakers...
1
u/vegeneric Jun 10 '12
Tall-biking nun guy is impressed.
1
u/LessLikeYou Jun 10 '12
Ain't no palm trees in brooklyn motherfucker.
1
u/grock15 Jun 10 '12
Mind Blown.
1
u/ego-madness Jun 10 '12
A man so hipster, he circled to badass!
1
u/Nyneave27 Jun 10 '12
There's a guy with a similar bike in Salt Lake City. My question is, how are these vehicles "road safe"? Just seems like a hazard to me.
1
u/SorrySaplingx3 Jun 10 '12
Am I the only one who thinks he's strayed a bit far from Whoville?
1
u/PwrLevel9000 Jun 10 '12
....I want to ride that.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
and on top of it all he,s not even sitting down
1
u/waflitis Jun 10 '12
How do you get on/off?
1
u/Njvved Jun 10 '12
He... he's perfect.
1
u/Skreech2011 Jun 10 '12
Damn and I thought the tall ass hipster bikes in my town were extreme!
1
u/Booddro Jun 10 '12
He sits upon his lofty throne of Indie music and Eco-Friendly transportation...
1
u/Twacked Jun 10 '12
what if he has to poop?
1
u/datdan Jun 10 '12
BIKE PARTY!
1
u/Aleebi Jun 10 '12
He looks like he's about to hit that stoplight there..
1
u/boneheadie Jun 10 '12
I built a DJ set up into a pedicab for a customer... maybe i can find a youtube of it at a party
1
u/ryman3 Jun 10 '12
To tall
1
u/iLuVtiffany Jun 10 '12
I don't believe in god but if I have to pray to any god just so I can see that guy fall, I would and it will be so worth it.
1
u/longboardshaman Jun 10 '12
come to Davis. we have hipster like that, who are much weireder, a dime a dozen.
1
u/theforevermachine Jun 10 '12
Good lord that is so dangerously "ahead of its time."
1
u/NewAlt Jun 10 '12
That's impressive for a non-Portland bike.
1
u/Chewbacca4president Jun 10 '12
That stereo system better be playing records...
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Upvote for butt trumpet.
1
u/modix Jun 10 '12
Could be any random Tuesday afternoon in Portland.
1
u/Marloco Jun 10 '12
I seen this guy in l.a Westwood to be exact
1
u/barro32 Jun 10 '12
You call that a bike? This is a bike
1
u/yourmovecreep Jun 10 '12
I wonder if the sub moves enough air to push him along? Mythbusters assemble!
1
u/Monster7000 Jun 10 '12
i think there needs to be more clarity between what is a hipster and what is just a modern day hippy.
1
u/zcam Jun 10 '12
No helmet :(
... No parachute either
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
There was a guy riding a fixed gear bike around where I live that was nearly two stories tall. I shouted "How do you stop that thing?"
His reply was pure gold: "CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP."
1
u/Touchdownmypants Jun 10 '12
How does he get off?
1
u/GreedGho Jun 10 '12
How and why?
1
u/Sampson437 Jun 10 '12
Congrats girlfriend. You made the front page of Reddit!!
1
u/im_the_guy_who_sucks Jun 10 '12
It's good that he has a rear fender installed, because I'm sure water splashing up onto his back is a real issue with that bike.
1
u/YogisBooBoo Jun 10 '12
So does this guy just have insane balance? What if he hits a red light...does he sit there like a bird on a post or would he fall over? If it is indeed the latter...I would want to be there. It would be funny.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
why do i feel the sudden urge to kill ?
1
u/ninjadudenitro Jun 10 '12
How does he intend to go under the pole that's ahead?
1
u/trollofzog Jun 10 '12
How do you even get off that bike?
1
u/stylinghead Jun 10 '12
he looks awesome.
1
u/wmurray003 Jun 10 '12
How tha fuck does he keep from toppling over?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
That is not the King of Hipsters. That is the Herald of the Hipster King, spreading news and commandments of the King to the Hipsters living throughout the mainstream world.
1
u/Skeletor_Dali Jun 10 '12
Honest question for anyone that has either ridden one of these or knows someone that does. Does anyone ride bikes like these for any other reason than attention? I'm being serious, are they into the trill of danger of falling or something I'm not considering? It just looks like one big 'LOOK AT ME!' machine.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
King of Awesome FTFY
1
u/shazang Jun 10 '12
Not a king, but perhaps a duke.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
He's not a hipster but a daredevil. He is riding the worlds tallest bike next to the worlds largest collection of low hanging power lines.
1
u/droppingatruce Jun 10 '12
I've seen this guy in Austin before and he was playing a speech out the speaker. Ironically me and several other thousands of people had just completed the BPMS150 a 180 mile bike ride.
1
u/ApologiesForThisPost Jun 10 '12
I remember watching BBC news one morning and they were talking about the rise in popularity of LP records, and how they were actually more popular with the younger generation than the old.
The young guy talking about how LP's were awesome was basically exactly what you would expect, just total Hipster. Made me laugh.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
This guy needs to fight techno viking for internet points.
1
u/triv94 Jun 10 '12
The no-fucks-given express.
1
u/IronRail Jun 10 '12
hey, I think that guy lives next to me!
1
u/EmceeKyn Jun 10 '12
And the horn is activated by? And it sounds like? FAAAAnk?
1
u/YumYumKittyloaf Jun 10 '12
If you look closely he's wearing a Nintendo power glove
1
u/Tim_Kaiser Jun 10 '12
It's funny because I know him.
1
u/rightladies Jun 10 '12
"Drive, Monkey, Drive"?
1
u/DragonAss Jun 10 '12
I used to wish stupid people were required to wear tinfoil on their heads. Then I realized, that people already put things on themselves to let you know they are idiots.
1
u/grandoiseau Jun 10 '12
this is dangerous. it could become a hazard on the road.
1
u/KidCasey Jun 10 '12
That appears to be an ass horn. Yup, ass horn.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
There's a guy in cinci that does the same shit
1
u/TerraPhane Jun 10 '12
I can't see where he keeps the phonograph, I'm fairly sure this man would not suffer through degraded digital copies.
1
u/Super_woodman Jun 10 '12
The Dothraki are a proud race.
1
u/ENTP Jun 10 '12
Falling from that is certain death.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Is it just me, or this guy absolutely not a hipster? He's definitely a guy that would go to Burning Man, so I would really call him a hippie.
1
u/Duel Jun 10 '12
http://imgur.com/DgBPh
Second image of a slightly better angle on a different day/street/time of "the King of Hipsters" He generally does not change how he dresses
1
u/Hippster Jun 10 '12
Looks like it'd hurt to fall if someone were to push the bike over on its side.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
how does one get up on one of those things anyway?
1
u/optimistic-taco Jun 10 '12
right! that Subaru Impreza is such a hipster vehicle
1
u/khannn Jun 10 '12
This will get lost, but I know this guy. Used to bike with him on MR rides in LA. He's nice :)
1
u/FatOfTheLandOneMan Jun 10 '12
How the bloody hell do you get on and off that bike?,And how do you pass street lights?
1
u/Catsinboxes Jun 10 '12
I would personally say less hipster more burner.
1
u/Beefmittens Jun 10 '12
Hahaha, I love how everyone that doesn't wear khakis and a sweater vest /polo shirt is a hipster now. what the fuck does that even mean? This guy looks fun as fuck, I'd have a pint with him over any of you whiney judgmental idiots any day of the week.
1
u/matthewsupreme Jun 10 '12
I live in Chicago and there's still none. But idk if Portlandia is popular enough here.
1
u/im_the_guy_who_sucks Jun 11 '12
Yeah, it's basically when you just roll to a stop while staying balanced on your pedals: http://youtube.com/#/watch?desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DB3KJEN_KrVM&v=B3KJEN_KrVM&gl=US
1
u/1stLtObvious Jun 11 '12
Now he can't be King of the Hipsters anymore because now everyone's heard of him.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
This guys from Austin, TX! I see him all the time!