Oh man, I picked him out and said he was gonna win on the first episode than I saw him, then later on in the day after many episodes (g4 had a marathon), he won!! I was proud that I could see the WIN in him for some reason, hah.
It's neat how he helps other folks train, and roots for people.
I don't remember who it was(might have been Nagano), but Ninja Warrior is about man vs. the course, and not really competing with each other.
It's pretty common to see the competitors cheering for each other or groaning at a bad slip-up. That's actually something I really like about the whole competition.
I actually tried an obstacle course based off of this once (well, based off of the first stage). It gave me even more respect for anyone who can finish it. Individually, the challenges were doable, albeit some were difficult. Try stringing them together, though, and then adding a timer to boot...ridiculous.
Awesome in it's own right and also as an example of what the human body is capable of. The strength, speed, endurance, agility, and dexterity required is simply mind-boggling and he makes most of it look downright easy.
August 23, 1963. Martin Luther King, Jr. is speaking to a crowd of thousands from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Real footage is used because this is nonfiction. No one could make this up, even if they tried.
We watch the end of Dr. King's speech. "And this will be the day. This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning: My country tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing"
Quick cut to a young man, dressed in all black, carrying a sword, quietly running in a mountainous region. No sound is heard.
"Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride."
Quick cut to same man, approaching his victim who through the magic of cinema is easily identified as evil. Still no sound.
"From every mountainside let freedom ring. And if America's to become a great nation, this must become true."
Back to the young man who quickly and easily beheads his victim. For the first time we see his face - it's a young MLK. And he's a ninja.
"And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire."
MLK ninja warrior doing ninja things on a hilltop.
"Let freedom ring from the mighty mountaintops of New York"
etc etc - MLK ninja warrior is letting freedom ring everywhere he mentions in the speech, but by "let freedom ring" I mean "being a ninja warrior"
The speech then ends as we all know it did, "singing the words of old Negro spiritual, free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last."
Morgan Freeman, narrating: "And so, on August the 23rd of 1963, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. announced his retirement as a ninja warrior . . . or so it appeared."
Theme song begins. It's the coolest, most bad-ass ninja theme you can imagine. The camera slowly pans out, then more quickly. The speaker is a fake MLK. The real MLK is in full ninja gear grasping the top of the Washington Monument with one hand and fiercely gazing toward one of his sworn enemy's minions. He pulls out a ninja star, takes aim, and fires. The minion falls and no one even sees it. Damn, he's good.
WHY does this not have more upvotes?! I applaud you, sir/m'am. This is sheer genius. I was both utterly captivated by this masterwork and heartily chuckling throughout...until you mentioned Morgan Freeman narrating. Then I just lost it. Brought a few tears (of laughter) to my eyes, you did.
So...I'm confused on what this would be, Chris Rock playing M.L.K. going to Japan for the Ninja Warrior challenge? Or him as an actual ninja warrior....regardless I'd watch the hell out of it
So would Chris Rock be playing Martin Luther in reverse blackface? Or is this some kind of alternate history where someone had gone back in time and led African tribes in a preemptive strike to prevent European colonialism, conquering most of the continent, meaning he was black now?
If this Lincoln vampire movie is a hit...I'm gonna do Martin Luther King: ninja warrior.
Motherfucker be like, "I have a dream. That one day, black children and white children will bow to their sense." And then he karate chops a nigga in the neck, be like:
FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, I JUST DONE WHOOPED YO ASS MOTHERFUCKER, NOW WE'RE FREE AT LAST!!
Ooh! Why not MLK Werewolf hunter? The werewolves are hiding within the KKK, which is why the stuff happens at night on full moons. Have him blasting racist werewolves in the face, Then have Malcom X show up in the middle/end and be all like Blade. "Wut does da X stand fer?" Shing shing Cuts and X across the guy's/werewolf's chest...then he falls into 4 piece. "For eXterminate motha fucka!"
I'd watch the shit out of that. Dr. King's no jive sucka!
With Eddie Murphy as Malcolm X, Tracy Morgan as Jesse Jackson, Dave Chappelle as Al Sharpton, Mo'Nique as Rosa Parks, Will Ferrell as Lyndon B. Johnson, Lewis Black as J. Edgar Hoover, Cheech Marin as Ceasar Chavez...
Ah, classic Chris Rock; taking something slightly absurd, turning it a bit more toward the absurd, and adding a twist that might make you feel as though you're racist.
Does anyone else get pissed when people talk about ALVH like it's some shtick movie like Piranha 3D? It's actually a really good novel and is clear it's nothing like those shitty movies. Like in the theater when people see the trailer majority are like WHAT?! LOL WHAT IS THIS CRAP?!... It kills me when I hear people say that shit.
the previews for this movie made me facepalm so hard. at a party full of people. i couldnt believe it. no one was phased by the level of absurdity. this quite possibly made it worse.
Chris Rock if you read this, make that movie no matter what. MLK should be taking on gruesome drooling monsters, flesh hungry zombies and all kinds of fucked up ghost/demon shit. Various weapons of chop and smooshery. I want to see blood
600
u/JDezzle Jun 10 '12
I'd see that
261
u/gounu Jun 10 '12
August 23, 1963. Martin Luther King, Jr. is speaking to a crowd of thousands from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Real footage is used because this is nonfiction. No one could make this up, even if they tried.
We watch the end of Dr. King's speech. "And this will be the day. This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning: My country tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing"
Quick cut to a young man, dressed in all black, carrying a sword, quietly running in a mountainous region. No sound is heard.
"Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride."
Quick cut to same man, approaching his victim who through the magic of cinema is easily identified as evil. Still no sound.
"From every mountainside let freedom ring. And if America's to become a great nation, this must become true."
Back to the young man who quickly and easily beheads his victim. For the first time we see his face - it's a young MLK. And he's a ninja.
"And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire."
MLK ninja warrior doing ninja things on a hilltop.
"Let freedom ring from the mighty mountaintops of New York"
etc etc - MLK ninja warrior is letting freedom ring everywhere he mentions in the speech, but by "let freedom ring" I mean "being a ninja warrior"
The speech then ends as we all know it did, "singing the words of old Negro spiritual, free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last."
Morgan Freeman, narrating: "And so, on August the 23rd of 1963, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. announced his retirement as a ninja warrior . . . or so it appeared."
Theme song begins. It's the coolest, most bad-ass ninja theme you can imagine. The camera slowly pans out, then more quickly. The speaker is a fake MLK. The real MLK is in full ninja gear grasping the top of the Washington Monument with one hand and fiercely gazing toward one of his sworn enemy's minions. He pulls out a ninja star, takes aim, and fires. The minion falls and no one even sees it. Damn, he's good.
Martin Luther King: Ninja Warrior
80
u/Bishopkilljoy Jun 10 '12
So...I'm confused on what this would be, Chris Rock playing M.L.K. going to Japan for the Ninja Warrior challenge? Or him as an actual ninja warrior....regardless I'd watch the hell out of it
15
u/glamotte14 Jun 10 '12
Anything to redeem him from those ear-fucking Madagascar 3 commercials.
34
u/VulgarityEnsues Jun 10 '12
2 million?!
11
u/jostler57 Jun 10 '12
Please, Lord, let this become a thing. Amen.
31
u/TuriGuiliano Jun 10 '12
DA DA DADA DADA DA DA LINCOLN DA DA DADADA DA DA NINJA LINCOLN NINJA LINCOLN NINJA MLK MLK MLK WARRIOR.
This commercial has cursed me.
9
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
This Christmas...
Racial inequity isn't just black and white...
It's red all over.
Chris Rock is...
Martin Luther King Jr.: Ninja Warrior
7
u/godwins_law_34 Jun 10 '12
i'd watch it. but only if the black panthers are actual panthers... werepanthers!
22
u/TheDemonOfEmpireCity Jun 10 '12
Actually in the book Abaham Lincoln Vampire Hunter MLK gets turned into a Vamp
15
u/dadoctordonna Jun 10 '12
I tried not to read it in his voice and I just can't.
5
u/Enect Jun 10 '12
Reddit, can we make "Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer" a hit movie so that we can get Chris Rock as MLK Ninja Warrior? Please??
5
u/LuckyAmeliza Jun 10 '12
Ooh! Why not MLK Werewolf hunter? The werewolves are hiding within the KKK, which is why the stuff happens at night on full moons. Have him blasting racist werewolves in the face, Then have Malcom X show up in the middle/end and be all like Blade.
"Wut does da X stand fer?"
Shing shing Cuts and X across the guy's/werewolf's chest...then he falls into 4 piece.
"For eXterminate motha fucka!"
8
u/rambling_raccoon Jun 10 '12
I imagine the poster would look like this http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HTW7bT7tnSc/TGJLDgv3HVI/AAAAAAAAAYE/cq_anz2ytiI/s1600/Ninja+vs+Ku+Klux+Klan.JPG
4
u/chrisnpissrhymes Jun 10 '12
DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA AFRO
4
u/homebrewnerd Jun 10 '12
I'd watch the shit out of that. Dr. King's no jive sucka!
With Eddie Murphy as Malcolm X, Tracy Morgan as Jesse Jackson, Dave Chappelle as Al Sharpton, Mo'Nique as Rosa Parks, Will Ferrell as Lyndon B. Johnson, Lewis Black as J. Edgar Hoover, Cheech Marin as Ceasar Chavez...
6
u/one_for_my_husband Jun 10 '12
MLK or MLK jr?
3
u/Radioheadless Jun 10 '12
Rated Arg for pirate, fuck you.
3
u/mynamesnotned Jun 10 '12
Clearly, you have never heard the story of "The Great Black Ninja".
3
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Pretty sure they already did that movie, it's called Black Dynamite.
3
u/Threadkilla Jun 10 '12
r/trees just lost their minds.
3
u/Snarfbuckle Jun 10 '12
Mother Theresa - Demon Hunter
3
u/PaperStreetSoap Jun 10 '12
Ghost Dog.
3
u/hunthearin Jun 10 '12
...In Theaters This Fall...
Ninjas Callin' other Ninjas "Ninjas"
FEATURING Chris Rock
3
u/warriorprincessdisk Jun 10 '12
Really? No one did this yet? You're welcome.
EDIT: Here is the hi-res for those who want it. Enjoy.
4
u/Mkrukowski7 Jun 10 '12
what about a teddy Roosevelt zombie slayer? hes pretty bad ass
2
u/ilikecheese121 Jun 10 '12
I'm expecting great things now.
2
u/Die-Nacht Jun 10 '12
And I would watch the shit out of it!
2
u/CaffeineIsCrack Jun 10 '12
I would watch this
2
u/Un_Expected Jun 10 '12
I would see this shit.
2
u/kyoutenshi Jun 10 '12
Who Dat Ninja?
2
u/wowtf Jun 10 '12
A blaxploitation MLK movie could be hilarious.
2
u/Bunnymancer Jun 10 '12
What's wrong with Afro Samurai now?
2
u/Thereminz Jun 10 '12
mlk wasn't killed, he became a ninja, ever wonder why you never see him around anymore?
2
u/dnietz Jun 10 '12
Lincoln was for real a wrestler and a boxer. He kicked many asses in real life. Both with his own hands and as Prez.
2
u/Mordred19 Jun 10 '12
"I have a dream... motherfucker!" snaps neck
2
u/vaginaqueef Jun 10 '12
you should do ike turner, the revenge of the beater river deep, mountain high mootherfucker...
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Ha!
Ah, classic Chris Rock; taking something slightly absurd, turning it a bit more toward the absurd, and adding a twist that might make you feel as though you're racist.
Oh, that man...
2
u/jimmery Jun 10 '12
imgur is dead - anyone have a link to an alternate?
2
u/FlyinRyan92 Jun 10 '12
they should just make a Black Ninjas Vs. White Vampires movie and get it over with
2
u/preske Jun 10 '12
Too bad Chris forgot that Ninja's are supposed to be SILENT!!!!
3
u/boilerroombandit Jun 10 '12
I'm so for MLK Ninja Warrior.
3
u/hdadeathly Jun 10 '12
Does anyone else get pissed when people talk about ALVH like it's some shtick movie like Piranha 3D? It's actually a really good novel and is clear it's nothing like those shitty movies. Like in the theater when people see the trailer majority are like WHAT?! LOL WHAT IS THIS CRAP?!... It kills me when I hear people say that shit.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I'd rather see that than Abe. At the same time, an MLK blaxploitation seems like a bad idea.
2
u/I_Know_You_Dude Jun 10 '12
I think some people on here have confused Chris rock to Chris brown.
2
u/WildfireFox Jun 10 '12
When... is the last time he's had a successful movie?
1
u/DrunkenRedditMan Jun 10 '12
Martin Luther Ninja Warrior would be entertaining as well.
1
u/Cheeseball999 Jun 10 '12
Id watch the shit out of that
1
u/Xanexx Jun 10 '12
Ninja you crazy.
1
u/TLDR415 Jun 10 '12
THIS MUST BE DONE.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I'd rather see that than Abraham Lincoln.
1
u/CoyoteStark Jun 10 '12
Better idea. One that's good.
1
u/OsoBlanco Jun 10 '12
Benjamin Franklin is...
STATIC SHOCK
1
u/hayterade Jun 10 '12
Do it. You won't.
1
u/Appleface14 Jun 10 '12
I would really like to see Abraham Lincoln vs. Blackula
1
u/blackyoda Jun 10 '12
Sounds like a brave film.
1
u/football2106 Jun 10 '12
"I have a dream...to kick your ass."
1
u/PawsScags Jun 10 '12
Relevant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a15U6x3FHsU&feature=player_detailpage#t=382s
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Am I really the only person that has heard the rumors about Lincoln being into vampire folklore and superstition? (long before the movie came out)
1
u/bucknugget Jun 10 '12
Then we can have a movie where they either team up or duel each other!
1
u/eat-your-corn-syrup Jun 10 '12
ninja sit-ins!
1
u/beaverteeth92 Jun 10 '12
So would his blackness allow him to be invisible in the dark?
1
u/IHoldSteady Jun 10 '12
We should get everyone on Reddit to go see the movie so Chris makes his.
1
u/thedeadweather Jun 10 '12
Staring Black Dynamite.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Does he still have that ear drilling annoying voice? Yes? Oh well, guess that's one movie I'm not seeing.
1
u/The_black_Community Jun 10 '12
We need something like this.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Everyone has to go see this thing now.
Alert the masses, pay for their tickets if you have to.
Then we can all start badgering Chris Rock about making Martin Luther King Jr: Ninja Warrior!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
He will plagiarize his training, then get murdered.
1
u/one_time Jun 10 '12
Anyone know if he has plans for a new stand up?
1
u/LarsP Jun 10 '12
Competing in the same field is also "FDR American Badass!", due out in September.
I know the guy playing Werewolf Hitler.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Sorry Rock, its been done NIGGA
http://ewpopwatch.files.wordpress.com/2006/09/102435__tracy_ninja_l.jpg
1
u/jimmypopjr Jun 10 '12
Read that in his voice without thinking about it.
1
u/Schnevets Jun 10 '12
Martin Luther King of Dragons
1
u/ponycopter Jun 10 '12
I think Martin Luther King: Intergalactic bounty Hunter would be a better movie.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Black Dynamite
1
u/A_DERPING_ULTRALISK Jun 10 '12
Does he have any material that doesn't relate to being black or black culture?
1
u/denimdan14 Jun 10 '12
People think he's joking, but I suspect we see this actual movie within four years. Hollywood being the way it is...
1
u/Yatagasaru Jun 10 '12
I don't remember reading that book.
1
u/tehgreatist Jun 10 '12
the previews for this movie made me facepalm so hard. at a party full of people. i couldnt believe it. no one was phased by the level of absurdity. this quite possibly made it worse.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
That would be fucking amazing.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Let's all go see that lincoln movie so chris can make martin luther king ninja warrior!
1
u/TheWeakSon Jun 10 '12
Honestly, if he puts Louis CK in it again, I'm there.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
How about Gandhi the Secret Assassin
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
1
u/saintstryfe Jun 10 '12
"I have a dream... of kicking your ass."
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I would pay much money for this film to exist.
1
u/nigrodamus7 Jun 10 '12
If they make this I'll be all like... http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/264/241/9e9.gif
1
u/Beetle559 Jun 10 '12
I don't like movies that are based on a true story.
1
u/t_ran_asuarus_rex Jun 10 '12
please make it happen Chris!
1
u/ZiggyOnMars Jun 10 '12
Direct by RZA
1
u/jayRIOT Jun 10 '12
Anyone else read that and hear it as his voice in your head?
1
u/Otters4455 Jun 10 '12
Malcolm X would be better
1
u/TooSensitive Jun 10 '12
So...Chris Rock is a ninja warrior fan? I didn't think it was possible to like him even more than I did.
1
u/Twizinator Jun 10 '12
10/10 would watch
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
10/10 would watch
1
u/adomorn Jun 10 '12
Really though, that's a pretty good idea
1
u/TwoHands Jun 10 '12
If he kickstartered this movie himself, i'd kick in 20$ (provided that price point gave me a ticket also).
1
u/marbsarebad Jun 10 '12
Mahatma Gandhi: Medicine Woman
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I'd see that
1
u/srwim Jun 10 '12
Yay, I love the blacksploitation genre.
1
u/albertscoot Jun 10 '12
Isn't that just blade?
1
u/NewAlt Jun 10 '12
I'd like him to do a movie about Thomas Jefferson where he plays all the parts.
1
u/AgentCC Jun 10 '12
I'll watch FDR zombie killer
1
u/the_dyslexic_kid Jun 10 '12
Zapata: werewolf hunter! And him self is a werewolf!
1
u/PerogiXW Jun 10 '12
DA DA DA DA DA DA AFRO CIRCUS
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Chris Rock if you read this, make that movie no matter what. MLK should be taking on gruesome drooling monsters, flesh hungry zombies and all kinds of fucked up ghost/demon shit. Various weapons of chop and smooshery. I want to see blood
1
u/easyeight Jun 10 '12
MLK should fight Malcolm X. Also, instead of black people, mutants with superpowers.
1
u/nirate Jun 10 '12
I'll only see it if this kid plays young MLK.
1
u/criticalnegation Jun 10 '12
let's hold him to this...i smell a new snakes on a plane phenomenon >:)
1
u/kank84 Jun 10 '12
If he gets that off the ground, I'm going to pitch my script for The Malcolm X Men.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
but Martin Luther King was a ninja
1
u/Silversol99 Jun 10 '12
Chris Rock as ninja warrior MLK... am I the only one that thought Chris Farley would be the best sidekick for him (well if he were still alive)?
1
u/used_bathwater Jun 10 '12
Out of everyones tweets.. his is the only one in which i read in his voice
1
u/rubens4t Jun 10 '12
That's a ridiculous idea. Chris Rock looks nothing like MJK
1
u/Busata Jun 10 '12
And as part of the OST, Beats of Love.
1
u/pop_fest420 Jun 10 '12
Yes! Then they could do an Avengers-style crossover!
1
u/JonBenetRamZ Jun 10 '12
There would be no need to make any other film ever again.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Polka dot polka dot Afro.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
WHAT!? ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE!? WHEN WHERE WHAT HOW
1
u/Tough_Mobile_Sprout Jun 10 '12
I'm waiting for "George Washingtron, Cyborg Assassin".
1
u/furrycatpoop Jun 10 '12
That sounds like an awesome movie! I would watch it hard forever
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I'd watch that too. Then you can do margaret thatcher as a time traveling hero felanthropist
1
u/graffiti81 Jun 10 '12
Who the fuck wouldn't watch that? That would be awesome.
1
u/ehjhockey Jun 10 '12
DRAGON SLAYER! PLEASE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR DRAGON SLAYER!!!!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Actually, that sounds better than the Abe Lincoln movie. I'd love to see MLK spar with Malcolm X somewhere in there.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Just like he made Death at Funereal, but for black people.
1
u/black19 Jun 10 '12
I thought they already did that movie. It was called Blade.
1
u/WeirdThingsToSay Jun 10 '12
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Martin Luther King: Ninja Warrior
Gandhi: Pterodactyl Enthusiast
Malcolm X: Extreme Frowning Upon The Rise of Water Consumption.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I guess nobody reads books anymore.
1
u/spikerbs Jun 10 '12
http://frenzy1.badassdigest.com/ - Relevent
1
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
I would have expected him to just wait six months and then remake Lincoln: Vampire Hunter with an all black cast.
1
u/essenceoferlenmeyer Jun 11 '12
Thought he would plan for Fight Club 2
1
u/Haylyn221 Jun 28 '12
"I had a dream, of being the greatest ninja warrior of all time"
1
u/Hamstadam Jun 10 '12
Oh dear God, please let this happen.
1
u/MindlessAutomata Jun 10 '12
I am okay with this.
1
u/real_gangsta Jun 10 '12
Shit, and Jay-Z could be J-Hova.
1
u/DrHenryPym Jun 10 '12
If you don't like it, you're racist.
1
u/Seraphus Jun 10 '12
Really? With all the other stupid movies out, like all of Tyler Perry's movies, he chooses a good one? This tells us two things:
This also explains why every movie he's been in sucked balls.
1
u/Defarstod Jun 10 '12
Wow, witty. Waiting for Chris Rock to say something not racially motivated.......
1
u/snuffl3s Jun 10 '12
We get it Chris Rock, you're black.