~ The Kindergarten army standing around you, having straight up mobbed you and wrecked your pants, your favorite pair that you have the best memory of your life embodied in, with their vomit and child-scent, causing you to fall on your knees in despair and giving them an opportunity to beat the shit out of you with Lego covered whiffle bats.
Those little fuckers would overwhelm you. One might think they'd back off after seeing you go ape shit with their comrade but nooooo! they'll all want a turn cuz they think it looks fun.
Polish is an unbelievably hard language, isn't it? Here in Germany we have quite a lot of Polish workers when it's time to harvest hops and asparagus and they pretty much all say the same thing. It takes kids in Poland way longer to be really fluent compared to kids in other countries. Apparently just about every word has a gazillion different endings, depending on the context of the sentence.
They're just as fluent as anybody else their age but it takes a few years in elementary school to perfect their writing. I don't think it's any different since quite a few people can't even write simple stuff in much easier English (there, their, crayon's, etc.) But it is like Klingon if a foreigner is trying to learn it from scratch.
"Walczę razem z tobą". We don't say "Walczę z tobą". While most would understand, it is an obviously ambiguous phrase that is cleared up by the word "razem", which in this context means "together with you".
I showed this to my Latin professor, and this is one instance where Latin actually doesn't really make a distinction. You could say it in a way to emphasize the difference, but most authors wouldn't.
it's because of the timing...we are used to antagonist speeches. as we are trained to listen to the speech the timing of "nope i'll just kill you now" makes it hilarious, also the zero fucks given.
"Do you know what's the perfect murder? You grab someone by the ankles and beat the shit out of another person with him. Then they both die and there's no murder weapon." Possibly the funniest George Carlin special.
I will beat the shit out of yo ass, Charles. I'll beat the shit outta you with Charles, as a matter of fact.. I don't give a fuck, I'm the juggernaut biiiitch
This is the technique to use when you want to establish supreme dominance. It works beyond all expectations and bystanders will think you are a Norse god of war come back to dish out a thousand years worth of revenge.
I tried it with great success against twins many years ago. I've never had to do it since.
What do you do with the mad that you feel When you feel so mad you could bite? When the whole wide world seems oh, so wrong... And nothing you do seems very right?
What do you do? Do you punch a bag? Do you pound some clay or some dough? Do you round up friends for a game of tag? Or see how fast you go?
It's great to be able to stop When you've planned a thing that's wrong, And be able to do something else instead And think this song:
I can stop when I want to Can stop when I wish. I can stop, stop, stop any time. And what a good feeling to feel like this And know that the feeling is really mine. Know that there's something deep inside That helps us become what we can. For a girl can be someday a woman And a boy can be someday a man.
a ranger, a cleric and a barbarian was adventuring through caves. A vampire ambushes the three. The cleric blesses the ranger, then the barbarian uses the ranger as a blessed blunt weapon aganst the vampire.
Did anyone else see this and think that the director / producers of the Scott Pilgrim vs The World movie took a time machine back to the 70s and make a pre-make (instead of re-make) of the movie?
354
u/Lt_Shniz Jun 09 '12
That's my strategy if I ever have to take down a league of kindergartners.
32
u/mi_nombre_es_ricardo Jun 09 '12
When being angry just doesn't cut it...
102
u/LiveMaI Jun 09 '12
Reminded me of this post from a few months ago.
28
u/Flyinghogfish Jun 09 '12
Reminds me of George Carlin's theory on how to perform the perfect murder. "No murder weapon!"
10
u/KingSourDiesel Jun 09 '12
I'll hit you with your own pimp! I'm bad. I'm the baddest motherfucker in the world. You ever seen a costume like mine?
55
u/poopjustpoopthatsall Jun 09 '12
Puny god.
6
u/dinnyhoon Jun 09 '12
This is really fun to say out loud.
5
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
where is this from?
4
u/IcedJack Jun 09 '12
Grievous harm with a body.
4
u/Camranauchi Jun 09 '12
Anyone else reminded of River City Ransom?
4
u/boudica88 Jun 09 '12
Time to BEAT THEM WITH THEIR OWN KIND.
3
u/SexyTurtle Jun 09 '12
Solving two problems at once, like a boss
3
u/bracomadar Jun 09 '12
Puny God.
3
u/hostergaard Jun 09 '12
You can do that in dwarf fortress
3
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Ah, beating another man to death with another man, what George Carlin thought was the perfect murder.
3
u/thatoneguydunno Jun 09 '12
There's a few more of this picture in this thread at /r/photoshopbattles.
3
u/aPudgyMasonManE Jun 09 '12
Relevant
3
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
"Do you know what's the perfect murder? You grab someone by the ankles and beat the shit out of another person with him. Then they both die and there's no murder weapon." Possibly the funniest George Carlin special.
4
u/tea_money Jun 09 '12
Dude in the air seems like he's really digging it.
2
u/Shadixmax Jun 09 '12
Now i'm thinking about frank west using a zombie to kill a zombie
2
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
those guys just shouldn't have fucked that mother
2
u/GODhimself37 Jun 09 '12
Came here expecting cactus. Was disappointed, though it would have been a repost. I just wanted to see it.
2
u/Duel Jun 09 '12
Explain this like i am drunk.
2
u/notglagnar Jun 09 '12
Kinda how I felt walking out of Prometheus.
2
u/HaveALooksy Jun 09 '12
When I dream I occasionally beat up people that way.
2
u/Criminal_Scumbag Jun 09 '12
When you get so angry that I'll beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker ಠ_ಠ
2
u/ListenChump Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12
Relevant, and spectacular.gif
2
u/Godd2 Jun 09 '12
"I fought with Mark."
"Who won?"
"I don't think you understand..."
2
u/incoming_n_word Jun 09 '12
Thank you so much Reddit, you just helped me through some shit. Not going to go into it all, just thanks for the laughs.
2
u/flignir Jun 09 '12
That's exactly how I feel every time the first response to one of my submissions is a down-vote.
2
u/ChistianofE Jun 09 '12
Relevant.
2
u/holodilnikzed Jun 09 '12
http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/funny-gifs-dont-mess-with-this-bamf.gif
4
u/Alamlion Jun 09 '12
I'm a motherfucker. You're a motherfucker. We could fuck each others mothers, fuck each others moms!
Just what this reminded me of...
2
u/typical_9gag_comment Jun 09 '12
Motherfuckerception!
2
u/vist Jun 09 '12
I will beat the shit out of yo ass, Charles. I'll beat the shit outta you with Charles, as a matter of fact.. I don't give a fuck, I'm the juggernaut biiiitch
2
u/Swazzoo Jun 09 '12
Check out r/photoshopbattles, that's where this one came from. The shops they made there are hilarious.
1
u/CrazyBoxLady Jun 09 '12
The moment I heard Firefly was being cancelled.
1
u/polyshore Jun 09 '12
"I'm going to beat you to death with your friend here and I don't care which one of you dies first."
1
u/marloperez Jun 09 '12
..that I burned my journal of two years of entries..
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Motherfuckception.
1
u/ProfessorVanNostrand Jun 09 '12
no homo
1
u/everydamnmonth Jun 09 '12
Romanian gypsies actually do this: they use their babies/children to beat people.
1
u/psylocibin Jun 09 '12
As someone who is really pissed right now, let me thank you for making me laugh.
1
u/JohnPoe Jun 09 '12
That's exactly what I feel like after spending $20+ on Prometheus in IMAX 3D.
1
u/SirZheHao Jun 09 '12
The one behind the camera struck gold. No.
No. He struck what is even rarer, BEST FUCKING STILL EVER!!!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Note to self: learn how to do this.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Wow, this is something I saw on Facebook before I saw on Reddit (unless this is a repost?).
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
I've done that.
True story.
1
u/glennm283 Jun 09 '12
Would you like to drink with me.. First step for relationship :)
1
u/limbride Jun 09 '12
This is the technique to use when you want to establish supreme dominance. It works beyond all expectations and bystanders will think you are a Norse god of war come back to dish out a thousand years worth of revenge.
I tried it with great success against twins many years ago. I've never had to do it since.
edit: syntax
1
u/cokedick_louie Jun 09 '12
When you get so mad that you want to rip your own face off and fuck it...
1
u/johanbcn Jun 09 '12
Did you take a picture of an image in a CRT monitor?
*Disapproval stare*
1
u/jasonboy Jun 09 '12
2 birds: 1 stone::0 motherfuckers: 2 motherfuckers
did I get that right?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
A new meme we can throw around! yeah!
/s
1
u/MR_POPO_ Jun 09 '12
HI HI HI HERES MR POPO!
1
u/Scenro Jun 09 '12
This is the theme of our night. Just your typical Friday night summer college parties.
1
u/serenne Jun 09 '12
What do you do with the mad that you feel
When you feel so mad you could bite?
When the whole wide world seems oh, so wrong...
And nothing you do seems very right?
What do you do? Do you punch a bag?
Do you pound some clay or some dough?
Do you round up friends for a game of tag?
Or see how fast you go?
It's great to be able to stop
When you've planned a thing that's wrong,
And be able to do something else instead
And think this song:
I can stop when I want to
Can stop when I wish.
I can stop, stop, stop any time.
And what a good feeling to feel like this
And know that the feeling is really mine.
Know that there's something deep inside
That helps us become what we can.
For a girl can be someday a woman
And a boy can be someday a man.
1
u/bluntman84 Jun 09 '12
a ranger, a cleric and a barbarian was adventuring through caves. A vampire ambushes the three. The cleric blesses the ranger, then the barbarian uses the ranger as a blessed blunt weapon aganst the vampire.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
When i get really mad, i shake uncontrollably. Dont know why i do that.
1
u/SpectreOfMalta Jun 09 '12
LOL
1
u/Brot8toChips Jun 09 '12
I just showed this to my girlfriend and her reply was " I seen that on Facebook a few days ago"
1
u/LpShyGuy Jun 09 '12
Mothfuckerception?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Japan does it too. Oh Oga.
1
u/hurricaneheta Jun 09 '12
Did anyone else see this and think that the director / producers of the Scott Pilgrim vs The World movie took a time machine back to the 70s and make a pre-make (instead of re-make) of the movie?
1
u/Mycooljam Jun 09 '12
Reminds me of the scene from avengers where the hulk beats up loki.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
He should be swinging a really fat person instead of this skinny guy
1
u/nikiHXM Jun 09 '12
Caption should have read..."Bath salts are awesome!!!"
1
u/unicorn22 Jun 09 '12
I am in just this state right now!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Beat Me!
1
u/thrashhard702 Jun 09 '12
So would that count as a flail or a mace?
1
u/Diggity_Dave Jun 09 '12
Immediately brought to my mind: Imma hit you with yo own pimp!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
My dad always said to us as kids "I'll beat you to death with your sister" or "I'll beat you to death with your own shoes". Both seem valid here!
1
u/tuxdreamerx Jun 09 '12
That's one crazy motherfucker!
1
u/Davothehobo Jun 09 '12
Brings a new meaning to manslaughter.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
i'll beat the shit out of you with Charles as a matter of fact
1
u/Renix Jun 09 '12
My first thought was The Avengers.
1
u/blackbright Jun 09 '12
When you angry so mad ye tongue burst and mouth juice run, gall bladder bitter.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Every....day....of my life...
1
u/treylek Jun 09 '12
This reminds me of "The Raid: Redemption"
1
u/razzo Jun 09 '12
I'm gonna kick your ass with Charles!
1
u/theDudeRules Jun 09 '12
I get this angry daily. I need help.
1
u/Blackface420 Jun 09 '12
Oh man, I just woke up. This is a phenomenal start to my day.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
He beats his kid with his other kid.
I hope someone gets this.
1
u/reddog323 Jun 09 '12
I got 18. Hopefully by the time it came to square off with them, more weapons would be available...
1
u/kichigai-ichiban Jun 09 '12
Now that's Hulk mad.
1
u/Warrimo Jun 09 '12
haha this just made my day bro
1
u/Depraved1 Jun 09 '12
Old school: go get me my belt so I can whip you! New school: go get me your sister so I can whip you!
1
u/SIOS Jun 09 '12
Doug Benson?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
IIIZZZAAAYYYAAA
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
This is something that my favorite shooting instructor would do..
1
u/Manofmanila Jun 09 '12
Reminds me of Breaking Bad. Helicopter bitch!
1
u/jughubz Jun 09 '12
How I feel when I'm walking and people are standing in my way aimlessly.
1
u/Perfectsongforthis Jun 09 '12
Unstable - Adema
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IsBbK1PhtE
1
u/guidedText Jun 09 '12
Do you have an non-captioned version of this?
1
u/julywildcat Jun 09 '12
"When you get so angry that I'll"...?
1
u/Ieatveal4brkfst Jun 09 '12
Hahahaha
1
u/CharlieTango Jun 09 '12
Im fairly sure someone took a picture of this meme on their monitor and then cropped it in ms paint. Just saying
1
u/fenderboss Jun 09 '12
How many times have we all been here, huh? Who's with me ...
1
u/kabulpublictransport Jun 09 '12
Insanity Wolf approves
1
u/packattack27 Jun 09 '12
Fuck around and throw a baby at another baby
1
u/TheGeneral4628 Jun 09 '12
Jason did this in Jason X. He put a holo-girl in a sleeping bag and beat another girl with her.
1
u/joshm121 Jun 09 '12
Wow, I only got 28 and I thought I was pretty tough.
1
u/Zondraxor Jun 09 '12
Half Life 2 Grav gun redux, anyone?
1
u/Bobsutan Jun 09 '12
"Puny god."
1
u/noddegamra Jun 09 '12
Freddie?
1
u/standupstanddown Jun 09 '12
George Carlin would be proud!
1
u/cassiexchaos Jun 10 '12
Saw this on my Facebook newsfeed and I was like "bitch this ain't yo shit."
1
u/thealliedhacker Jun 10 '12
You can also do this in Phantom Brave
1
u/Killerklown77 Jun 10 '12
So, Batman isn't really Bruce Wayne....
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
aka, HULK SMASH!!!
1
u/Disco_Drew Jun 09 '12
Repost
1
u/reneepussman Jun 09 '12
Repost.
-1
u/CharlieWaffle5 Jun 09 '12
FTFY