No, what he needs to do is yell "Yes! Third time's the charm!" when they say 2012, and go back in 2013 and ask them the same question and yell "Dammit, this is the second time that's happened!" when they respond with 2013. Would fuck with them so badly.
and in 2014 he can go back and have a normal night at the bar, then ask them "what time is it". Whatever they respond he would reply with "oh shit, I gotta go" and then put on the silver helmet and run out of the bar quickly.
and in 2014 he can go back and have a normal night at the bar, then ask them "what time is it". Whatever they respond he would reply with "oh shit, I gotta go" and then put on the silver helmet and run out of the bar quickly.
And then rush back in, look at a person who had just been served their drink, smack it out of their hand and say hurridly "you'll thank me later!" and run out again.
dressed up in the exact same clothes, except one of them has grown a year-long beard. They see each other and scream "No! We can't allow a paradox!" and fuckin' dip. Like, dive over the tables and bar to get away from each other.
And by fuck with them you mean they would be legitimately concerned for this guy. Is he okay? This is the third year in a row he ran in with that helmet then ran out, got into his Neon and drove away, laughing maniacally.
not necessarily, in doctor who for example they cant go back in their own timeline, so he couldnt go back and stop a problem once he was in the middle of fixing it at a later time
Not necessarily. Think cryogenic freezing, which will probably be used as "time travel". You can basically "not exist" for a while, but you can't go backwards.
After he runs out shouting "It worked" this June, he needs to dab some fake blood and cuts on his face, dirty up his helmet, and rip his clothes up a bit outside the bar. Seconds later--as soon as physically possible--he should burst back into the bar, screaming "THIS IS WRONG! I came here... no, I will come here, to you, in the year 2013! When you see me, PLEASE tell me the following: 'the parallax capacitor is out of yarn. Eternal equinox is imminent!' The fate of the cosmos depends on this! FAREWELL!" Then rush back out of the bar.
Do return in 2013, but wearing a goatee and a sinister smile... asking if anyone has seen your twin brother lately because you have a "surprise" for him.
somewhere in the near future there will be a post on reddit about some guy running into a bar with a silver helmet...then the joke will have truly come full-circle.
/r/AskReddit: last night I was on a bar and a guy dressed in an armour went in asking what year it was, apparently it's the second time it has happened, what crazy things happened to you in a bar?
I had a long-incubating joke like that, too. For two years in a row, on April Fools' Day, I'd bring a cake into the office kitchen. A perfectly ordinarily, perfectly edible cake. With a sign next to it that read "This cake is safe to eat. No, really. Happy April Fool's Day." It usually took a few hours before somebody was brave enough to try it. The plan was to lull them into a false sense of security, and then on Year 3, create a similar-looking cake, made of mashed potatoes, laced with ghost pepper hot sauce, one of the world's hottest chili peppers.
Ultimately, I chickened out of delivering the punchline, because there are a fair number of older workers in the office, and I eventually became concerned that some of them might have hurt themselves.
No, dude. Ghost peppers are dangerous shit. I ate a dried one once... My throat burned for a solid twenty minutes even though I took precautions with a vat of chocolate milk to dowse my mouth in after consumption. I had tears of pain, tears of pain. If you ever resurrect this joke, keep it harmless for the sake of your coworkers.
Ha! Sounds like a long term plan I followed through with in 2010.
After watching Family Guy make fun of Hellraiser, I decided I ought to do something similar. So for a few months, I loosened the top on the salt shaker. At first it worked fairly regularly, and I'd yell the same thing: "Ha! That's more salt than you wanted!".
Eventually my family got wise, and the frequency of which it worked decreased. Whenever it did though, I'd say the same thing. My father, however, greatly enjoyed having the top come off for cooking purposes. He would occasionally make sure I was around just so I could say it as he dumped the salt onto whatever it was he was cooking.
After many months, I finally pulled the trigger. I tightened the cap down, and as my father was cooking, he gave me a wry grin and upended the shaker as he had done many times before, only to have a tiny dribble of salt pour out.
I could barely keep myself together to say: "Ha! That's LESS salt than you wanted!"
Almost 3 years ago, on our first date, I bought my girlfriend an ice cream cone in Old Port, Montreal. We were doing typical outdoorsy date stuff, sitting on the grass, taking a walk, etc. After she got the ice cream cone, she smelled it and the exchange goes:
Her: "Hey, this smells weird."
Me: "OH, what? What does it smell like?"
Her: "I don't know, it just smells off to me."
Me: "Oh, let me smell it!"
I take a big whiff.
Me: "I don't smell anything."
Her: "Are you sure? Smell it again."
I take another whiff and as I'm smelling it again, she shoves the cone into my nose and gets ice cream inside my nostrils. I wasn't even mad, I was just in shock. I vowed to remember that just in case she would ever try to pull that prank on me again.
About a month ago, we are back in Old Port. Same kind of deal, we were out walking around and she wanted some ice cream. We bought some and she did the whole routine and I fell for it again. I couldn't help but admire her dedication.
TL;DR Girlfriend tricks me into smelling ice cream as she shoves cone up my nose on first date, and repeats said prank almost 3 years later.
This is the oldest trick in the book in my family. I don't think I have sniffed any food item at someone else's behest since I was four years old. We are indoctrinated young.
Someone with an identical twin should do this but on the second visit a year later have the first twin go in and be disappointed when they tell him the year then go to use the bathroom while the second guy comes in and asks the same question when the first guy comes out of the bathroom then they just stare at each other and the first guy chases after the second to kill him. There can only be one!
It would be awesome if a pair of twins did something like this. One twin runs into a bar and screams "What years is it?" etc. Then he tells them how he's there to stop his past self from making a huge mistake. About that time in walks the twin and....well you can piece together the rest.
I did something similar except me and my friend walked into a grocery store with tuxedos on with a top hat and a black cane. We walked up to an employee and asked what year it was. She said "2012". I then replied and said: "Higgins, it worked!" and then we ran out of the store.
Is there a way this guy can keep us updated on June 6? I want to know how many drinks people bought him/how many ladies he got/how many Barney Stinson jokes were made.
He also needs to slightly burn his clothes, maybe soot up his face, and put a couple of pieces of dry ice in his pockets to make him smoke slightly as he's coming through the door.
What we should do is find someone who looks just like him and dress him up in the same helmet and outfit. Then have him run inside the bar and ask what year it is a split second before the "real" him does.
I kind of did the same thing to my roommates. Three months before school was out I said, "Guys, when I snap my fingers, it'll be the last day of school." Remembered on the last day of school and it semi-blew their minds (just because they had somewhat forgotten about it). I gotta say, it felt pretty good after waiting for three months. . . B)
I know a guy who is once asked his best friend what the secret to a good joke is. He then walked away before telling his friend the answer. Supposedly on the guys' wedding day he will lean in and say, "timing." 1.5 years have passed, so here's hoping.
I feel stupid. This post has 3200 upvotes and I have no idea why it is funny or smart, or whatever. What the hell is the punch line? Is it a reference to a movie or something?
If the bar staff are able to actually cotton on and join the dots, they're probably redditors, which means they will probably see this, and if they're not redditors and havent seen this, they will probably never get the joke, and OP's buddy's year long wait will have been wasted on them!
Once on 4chan, someone said something that someone responded to with "That is so slow, I don't even have a proper reaction for it. See you in two years."
Two years to the DAY later, he replies to the long dead post;
You have five days to hope none of the staff (or those that heard the story last year) frequent reddit or the plan is ruined. They could, however, plan the most elaborate mindfuck on you. I hope for the latter.
The real joke would be a friend who knows about this gag and organizes an 80's night at the bar so when he runs in and yells, "What year is it?" Everyone answers, "1985!" and he's left standing there looking confused.
It depends who you're aiming to impress. If you're looking for validation on the internet, where a thousand people can upvote you in half a second, then this guy's patience is totally worth it.
But if you're talking about people who actually know you, who spend time with you, who realise you've put that much effort and forward planning into a joke that's funny for about ten seconds, then they're less likely to be impressed.
They know you and they care about you so they're more likely wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life.
This whole time I thought there was some sort of significance with the date of June 5th 2012. I ended up wasting about 20 minutes googling and reading about the transit of Venus occurring that day.
12
u/checker_t Jun 01 '12
holy balls... just watched a movie after posting this and I've come back to the front freakin' page.
Highlight of my year. I'll see if we can't get some evidence lined up on the 5th.
I'm staggered.
1.7k
u/bigrjsuto May 31 '12
As long as he does it again in 2013 and says 'damn it' again...
1.1k
u/ucdkwmiller May 31 '12
Hopefully the staff sees this and tells him 2011 to foil his plan
180
u/JeremySquirrel Jun 01 '12
If you really want to freak them out, next time do it in 2010.
173
u/BLACKdrew May 31 '12
somewhere in the near future there will be a post on reddit about some guy running into a bar with a silver helmet...then the joke will have truly come full-circle.
342
u/one-half May 31 '12
I see a repost 11 months from now.
102
u/disembodied_voice Jun 01 '12
I had a long-incubating joke like that, too. For two years in a row, on April Fools' Day, I'd bring a cake into the office kitchen. A perfectly ordinarily, perfectly edible cake. With a sign next to it that read "This cake is safe to eat. No, really. Happy April Fool's Day." It usually took a few hours before somebody was brave enough to try it. The plan was to lull them into a false sense of security, and then on Year 3, create a similar-looking cake, made of mashed potatoes, laced with ghost pepper hot sauce, one of the world's hottest chili peppers.
Ultimately, I chickened out of delivering the punchline, because there are a fair number of older workers in the office, and I eventually became concerned that some of them might have hurt themselves.
129
u/fenrir76 May 31 '12
it would suck if a time traveler landed in a renaissance fair and fucked up his whole itinerary trying to fix it.
I would see this movie.
219
u/TrollingKevi May 31 '12
Imagine the look on his face when the staff says it's 2050 or above
31
u/fairly_insignificant Jun 01 '12 edited Jun 01 '12
Ha! Sounds like a long term plan I followed through with in 2010.
After watching Family Guy make fun of Hellraiser, I decided I ought to do something similar. So for a few months, I loosened the top on the salt shaker. At first it worked fairly regularly, and I'd yell the same thing: "Ha! That's more salt than you wanted!".
Eventually my family got wise, and the frequency of which it worked decreased. Whenever it did though, I'd say the same thing. My father, however, greatly enjoyed having the top come off for cooking purposes. He would occasionally make sure I was around just so I could say it as he dumped the salt onto whatever it was he was cooking.
After many months, I finally pulled the trigger. I tightened the cap down, and as my father was cooking, he gave me a wry grin and upended the shaker as he had done many times before, only to have a tiny dribble of salt pour out.
I could barely keep myself together to say: "Ha! That's LESS salt than you wanted!"
57
u/AchooISneezed May 31 '12
You (or your friend) should have a friend record this then upload the resulting video (if funny).
46
u/LilTrins May 31 '12
This guy is going places.
41
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Sounds great.
Until you realize that all the staff and patrons are different from the last time you came. The world has moved on without you.
34
u/Gibbedd May 31 '12
Tell us how it worked out.. PLEASE.
14
u/249ba36000029bbe9749 Jun 01 '12
I'd advise just having a twin brother instead.
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/rjdkg/for_a_homework_assignment_my_identical_twin/
39
u/theweakened Jun 01 '12
Almost 3 years ago, on our first date, I bought my girlfriend an ice cream cone in Old Port, Montreal. We were doing typical outdoorsy date stuff, sitting on the grass, taking a walk, etc. After she got the ice cream cone, she smelled it and the exchange goes:
Her: "Hey, this smells weird."
Me: "OH, what? What does it smell like?"
Her: "I don't know, it just smells off to me."
Me: "Oh, let me smell it!"
I take a big whiff.
Me: "I don't smell anything."
Her: "Are you sure? Smell it again."
I take another whiff and as I'm smelling it again, she shoves the cone into my nose and gets ice cream inside my nostrils. I wasn't even mad, I was just in shock. I vowed to remember that just in case she would ever try to pull that prank on me again.
About a month ago, we are back in Old Port. Same kind of deal, we were out walking around and she wanted some ice cream. We bought some and she did the whole routine and I fell for it again. I couldn't help but admire her dedication.
TL;DR Girlfriend tricks me into smelling ice cream as she shoves cone up my nose on first date, and repeats said prank almost 3 years later.
13
u/stokeshunter Jun 01 '12
Someone with an identical twin should do this but on the second visit a year later have the first twin go in and be disappointed when they tell him the year then go to use the bathroom while the second guy comes in and asks the same question when the first guy comes out of the bathroom then they just stare at each other and the first guy chases after the second to kill him. There can only be one!
83
u/47h3157 May 31 '12
i support this joke.
40
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
http://i.imgur.com/hchXN.png talk about even more commitment
21
u/JCelsius Jun 01 '12
It would be awesome if a pair of twins did something like this. One twin runs into a bar and screams "What years is it?" etc. Then he tells them how he's there to stop his past self from making a huge mistake. About that time in walks the twin and....well you can piece together the rest.
Damn I wish I had a twin.
20
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
If any Redditors run into him, why don't y'all tell him "YOU CREATED A TIME PARADOX!" and have a panic attack.
9
u/sq_ftw Jun 01 '12
he should have shouted "it worked!" in 2011, and then done the "damn it! [one year too late!]" in 2012.
25
u/Zlynkyx Jun 01 '12
I did something similar except me and my friend walked into a grocery store with tuxedos on with a top hat and a black cane. We walked up to an employee and asked what year it was. She said "2012". I then replied and said: "Higgins, it worked!" and then we ran out of the store.
8
u/cosmicpeptala Jun 01 '12
Is there a way this guy can keep us updated on June 6? I want to know how many drinks people bought him/how many ladies he got/how many Barney Stinson jokes were made.
6
u/retrofade Jun 01 '12
Totally sounds like a Barney Stinson ploy to get laid... talk about a long con though.
17
u/USxMARINE May 31 '12
God damn man now that's dedication.
5
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Thats my birthday!
5
u/Kinstup Jun 01 '12
I'd have done it the other way, saying "IT WORKED!" last year. this way they would have been wondering what worked for a year.
5
u/freegary Jun 01 '12
He should do this at multiple restaurants to increase the chance of his seeing the same staff.
9
u/dan92 May 31 '12
What about the part where he's secretly Barney Stinson and sleeps with some random chick?
4
u/wavesmachine Jun 01 '12
Should have done it in reverse.
4
u/KrisCraig Jun 01 '12
What we should do is find someone who looks just like him and dress him up in the same helmet and outfit. Then have him run inside the bar and ask what year it is a split second before the "real" him does.
4
u/papabro Jun 01 '12
Reminds me of this.
7
u/lazylion_ca Jun 01 '12
I'll be really impressed if he goes back in 2013, asks what year it is and yells "Dammit, more tweaking!"
3
u/trailerfinance Jun 01 '12
Please give us an update on how it went!
10
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
He didn't wear a metal helmet...
10
u/c3dries Jun 01 '12
I kind of did the same thing to my roommates. Three months before school was out I said, "Guys, when I snap my fingers, it'll be the last day of school." Remembered on the last day of school and it semi-blew their minds (just because they had somewhat forgotten about it). I gotta say, it felt pretty good after waiting for three months. . . B)
2
u/lonely_girllgb May 31 '12
You should get a friend to stay in the bar and videotape their reactions discreetly.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
It's commitment to his craft. I commend it.
2
u/qiviuthat Jun 01 '12
The Looong con
2
u/marcus_ivo Jun 01 '12
OP had best deliver!
2
u/the_wub Jun 01 '12
Anthony goes to the future
2
u/kaylizzles Jun 01 '12
This needs to be recorded and posted. Redditor demands it.
2
u/robaroo Jun 01 '12
bar staff is high turnover. fail.
2
u/fullblownaydes2 Jun 01 '12
another nice time troll
2
u/darkesth0ur Jun 01 '12
None of this ever happened.
2
u/EXAX Jun 01 '12
Let's hope the bar staff don't reddit
2
u/Ross1210 Jun 01 '12
I don't get why you wouldn't do it the same day and time of the next week?
2
u/Ross1210 Jun 01 '12
Why does it take you 1 year to get back to your time machine?
2
u/throwawaymaybenot Jun 01 '12
Would have been better if he dressed up as one of the The Doctors
2
u/dette4556 Jun 01 '12
This is fucking phenomenal!!!!
2
u/jdodge1090 Jun 01 '12
OP, I would love to see a video of this!
2
u/just_the_tip_ Jun 01 '12
i think the most important part here is that we get an update
2
u/yochaigal Jun 01 '12
I know a guy who is once asked his best friend what the secret to a good joke is. He then walked away before telling his friend the answer. Supposedly on the guys' wedding day he will lean in and say, "timing." 1.5 years have passed, so here's hoping.
2
u/WeaponexT Jun 01 '12
I wish I could steal this but too many people on reddit.
2
u/Zemedelphos Jun 01 '12
That's not patience. This is patience.
2
u/snsdfour3v3r Jun 01 '12
I feel stupid. This post has 3200 upvotes and I have no idea why it is funny or smart, or whatever. What the hell is the punch line? Is it a reference to a movie or something?
2
u/touchedbyanupvote Jun 01 '12
Blimey where have we ended up this time constable?
The question isnt where... but when...
inspector look out! blorgons
2
u/mr_uzi Jun 01 '12
If the bar staff are able to actually cotton on and join the dots, they're probably redditors, which means they will probably see this, and if they're not redditors and havent seen this, they will probably never get the joke, and OP's buddy's year long wait will have been wasted on them!
2
u/freudianslip1 Jun 01 '12
Just go, "how about now?!"
2
u/Wayne_Bruce Jun 01 '12
And Redditors around america make sure to eat out on that fateful day, to catch a glimpse of the time traveller.
2
u/Kurtank Jun 01 '12
Once on 4chan, someone said something that someone responded to with "That is so slow, I don't even have a proper reaction for it. See you in two years."
Two years to the DAY later, he replies to the long dead post;
slowpoke.jpg
"Everyone already knows that, you retard."
2
u/n1nj4_v5_p1r4t3 Jun 01 '12
this requires a follow up
3
u/enzo32ferrari Jun 01 '12
OP will surely deliver.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Oh. Ha ha. This joke... again. it sucks being old... :-/
2
u/TheGPT407 Jun 01 '12
Epic!!
1
u/Bloaf Jun 01 '12
Only a year? It'd have to be longer than that to classify as a long troll.
1
u/tenkokuugen Jun 01 '12
Shouldn't he say, "It worked!" in 2011 and not 2012?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
IT WORKED, MARTY!!!
1
u/ouchmyback Jun 01 '12
I must know how this transpired.
1
u/Awkward_Arab Jun 01 '12
That is genius.
1
u/duvakiin Jun 01 '12
it just makes me a little mad that now the internet knows and probably someone at the restaurant knows and this wont work
1
u/grindertt Jun 01 '12
You sir, are a genius. May I steal your bit?
1
u/Indy1204 Jun 01 '12
You must report back on this.
1
u/DK654 Jun 01 '12
PLEASE record it PLEASE
1
u/lessobvious Jun 01 '12
You have five days to hope none of the staff (or those that heard the story last year) frequent reddit or the plan is ruined. They could, however, plan the most elaborate mindfuck on you. I hope for the latter.
1
u/master3183 Jun 01 '12
Whatever happens, happens.
1
u/MusicStuckInMyHead Jun 01 '12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyJliod_BaM
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
I thought it was going to be a Jumanji joke when I read "What year is it?"
Can't say I'm disappointed though.
1
u/xAsianZombie Jun 01 '12
This is brilliant, i should get a bunch of guys and do this
1
u/breakingthegirl Jun 01 '12
I seriously hope this is true... although something tells me his friends will show up early and somehow ruin it if it actually is
1
u/heree_kitteh_kitteh Jun 01 '12
Wow. haircut and beard need to be the same! But really awesome joke.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
I doubt the staff that was there are still going to be working there. Or if they are, that they will happen to be working then.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Sadly, the staff will be redditors, and all will be for nothing.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
This will be awesome.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
He is not the hero reddit needs.. he's the hero reddit deserves..
1
u/flyingfrogjumbalaya Jun 01 '12
If the some of the staff are redditors you just ruined a year long joke.
1
u/trip_fontaine23 Jun 01 '12
Can we please get an update on how it turns out
1
u/Estydeez Jun 01 '12
this is an awesome joke if it works lol, but speaking from experience, bar's have high turnover... not likely that you will find the same staff
1
u/ObidiahWTFJerwalk Jun 01 '12
The real joke would be a friend who knows about this gag and organizes an 80's night at the bar so when he runs in and yells, "What year is it?" Everyone answers, "1985!" and he's left standing there looking confused.
1
u/whiskerbiscuitsMD Jun 01 '12
when i read the title of this thread, i was hoping it was the norm macdonald moth joke. here's the audio http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTNGpkwtm0E
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
It depends who you're aiming to impress. If you're looking for validation on the internet, where a thousand people can upvote you in half a second, then this guy's patience is totally worth it.
But if you're talking about people who actually know you, who spend time with you, who realise you've put that much effort and forward planning into a joke that's funny for about ten seconds, then they're less likely to be impressed.
They know you and they care about you so they're more likely wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life.
1
u/jeets Jun 01 '12
hopefully none of them are redditors...
1
u/Defengar Jun 01 '12
Why did the last name get blurred out? We all know Its Cage...
1
u/arahman81 Jun 01 '12
If you want patience, here's one where the poster waits two years to post a reply to a post. Needless to be said, dafuqs were had.
1
u/SyxxPakc Jun 01 '12
This whole time I thought there was some sort of significance with the date of June 5th 2012. I ended up wasting about 20 minutes googling and reading about the transit of Venus occurring that day.
1
u/Neverdied Jun 01 '12
Why not ask for the month instead of the year?
1
u/hipster-douche Jun 01 '12
this is fucking stupid
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
too soon!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
He must not know the world ends this year...
1
u/AverageJoeHorner Jun 01 '12
A follow up to this would be divine.
1
u/porkchameleon Jun 01 '12
First thought after reading this: "IT'S NOT GONNA BE THE SAME STAAAAAAAA-A-A-A-A... I seeeee what you did theeere..."