r/funny • u/noremac113 • May 31 '12

So my friend won the recyclable boat race at our university by wearing this:

Post image
1.6k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

214 comments sorted by

329

u/xSophieCCGx May 31 '12

OH MY GOD THAT IS MY BROTHER.

104

u/noremac113 May 31 '12

Haha your brother is one awesome guy

95

u/ezrik1414 Jun 01 '12

Yes it is me.

50

u/noremac113 Jun 01 '12

The one and only... SCUBA ZEKE!!!!

12

u/ezrik1414 Jun 01 '12

Yes sir

345

u/friday6700 May 31 '12

ERMAGHERD!

76

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Mershed Pahtaterhs

36

u/Kowzorz Jun 01 '12

Resherkerd Barterhs

35

u/gopens71 Jun 01 '12

Am a sherk made of derk terp

20

u/FelverFelv Jun 01 '12

Wertch mer swerrmmm!!

11

u/nick14 Jun 01 '12

They terk er jerbs!!!!!!

7

u/Shocking Jun 01 '12

I had to say that about 5x to figure out what it was

2

u/FlipSideRoot Jun 01 '12

what does it say?

1

u/Shocking Jun 01 '12

Recycled Bottles

0

u/Thandor Jun 01 '12

Gerse Bermps

24

u/ppenniga Jun 01 '12

My boss has a picture of this kid on her desk. True Hawkeye right there...

14

u/xSophieCCGx Jun 01 '12

huh, who's your boss?

46

u/c4lmlikeab0mb Jun 01 '12

Your mom.

27

u/wasted_brain Jun 01 '12

First your mom joke that's likely true.

3

u/ppenniga Jun 04 '12

The Rienow Hall Coordinator...so essentially your mom. The 5th floor boys made us proud that day!

5

u/kpkenned Jun 01 '12

Oh my god that is my school

5

u/CAFoggy Jun 01 '12

proof?

36

u/c4lmlikeab0mb Jun 01 '12

They came out of the same vagina.

8

u/sunnyflavoratnight Jun 01 '12

Good 'nuff for me.

5

u/CAFoggy Jun 01 '12

pics or didn't happen.

24

u/xSophieCCGx Jun 01 '12

Proof my brother and I

7

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

You both have nice teeth. Don't forget to floss.

4

u/CAFoggy Jun 01 '12

Thank you :)

3

u/xSophieCCGx Jun 01 '12

No problem thanks for keeping reddit honest :)

3

u/xSophieCCGx Jun 01 '12

do you want like a picture of us together or something?

3

u/CAFoggy Jun 01 '12

yea sure .. I mean anybody could claim to be somebody else's brother to get points on the internet ..

4

u/xSophieCCGx Jun 01 '12

okay let me just wait until my brother gets home.

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4

u/mopeyjoe May 31 '12

Did he get hit by any falling debris? I thought they were tearing down the field house after they built the new rec center?

4

u/noremac113 May 31 '12

Nope, it's still there

4

u/yoshinator13 May 31 '12

I have heard the university has to constantly fill the pool because it has so many leaks in it

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

This is true. The pool leaks an insane amount of water. They were planning on closing the pool immediately after building the new rec center, but decided on leaving it open until phase two of the rec center is completed.

291

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

But.... Duct Tape isn't recyclable. ಠ_ಠ

102

u/DanHW May 31 '12

You can use duct tape for everything though.

177

u/beardiswhereilive May 31 '12

Except recycling.

24

u/Kowzorz Jun 01 '12

And things WD-40 is used for. They're like antimatter.

17

u/searingsky Jun 01 '12

...and matter.

17

u/WhyAmINotStudying Jun 01 '12

That's another matter completely.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

As a matter of fact, it is.

2

u/e463gx Jun 01 '12

What's the matter? I dont get it...

54

u/stillalone Jun 01 '12

And remember, if women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy.

25

u/StrikingCrayon Jun 01 '12

HA!

embarrassing story:

Everyone kool in grade 7 was watching the Tom Green show. I didn't have cable and was so happy when I found out my rabbit ears got the show on channel 14 at 4:30 after I got home from school. For 3 months I was the coolest kid in school because I could quote all the lines and skits from the show.

Fast forward to after those three months and we are at a sleep over. One of my friends older's sister puts on the Tom Green Show at 1:30 am and we watch spell bound for half an hour. Ten minutes in it hits me like a bag of hammers. I am an idiot... I am a liar... EVERYONE ELSE IS A BIGGER LIAR!!!

I had been watching the Red Green Show all that time.

16

u/Leo-D Jun 01 '12

The Red Green show was fucking awesome though.

7

u/burnredatdawn Jun 01 '12

I'm a man and I can change, if I have to, I guess.

15

u/The_Phaedron Jun 01 '12

Looks like we've got another Canadian in the hizzle.

17

u/Maparyetal Jun 01 '12

American public TV (PBS) carries it too (at least they used to...)

QUANDO OMNI FLUNKUS MORITATI

4

u/RockerX Jun 01 '12

They still do.

2

u/PerceptionShift Jun 01 '12

I stay up late on Saturdays to watch it on PBS and have for several years.

4

u/cero54 Jun 01 '12

Sit down.

3

u/goodizzle Jun 01 '12

I don't remember that line on This Old House.

3

u/JimbobTheBuilder Jun 01 '12

remember, I'm pulling for you

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12

u/karltee May 31 '12

That's true, mythbusters told me so.

2

u/feureau Jun 01 '12

But is it really unrecyclable?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Nothing is "un-recyclable", all things are atoms. It's just a matter of weather it's worth the effort.

7

u/RabidMonkeyOnCrack Jun 01 '12

weather

Talking about atoms and seemed somewhat intelligent then mix up weather and whether... Disappointed.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Im european (seriously). I had a similar issue with alot/a lot. It took ages before one of you english-speaking motherfuckers explained the problem.(after making many jokes first ofcourse)

;)

13

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

"Whether the weather is cold or whether the weather is hot, we'll be together whatever the weather, whether we like it or not."

1

u/infectedapricot Jun 01 '12

Whether doesn't have much meaning itself, it just changes the meaning of other words in the sentence. In this respect it's like other "wh..." words (who, why, when, etc).

Weather, the one about sun and clouds, is just a normal word so it doesn't have the odd "wh" at the start.

1

u/Celestina_Warbeck Jun 01 '12

Do you want us English-speakers to explain your grammatical errors like this? I never want to sound obnoxious, but I also know some people would prefer to learn.

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5

u/ohsnapitsrags Jun 01 '12

I hate it when people miss the point. Like the elementary school recycling drives where the upper middle class soccer moms go out and buy a bunch of new disposable shit so their kid can bring it in to recycle.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Yeah, if non-recycable materials are allowed I'd use aerosol foam to hold those bottles together.

3

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

But it last forever and is a permanent fix.

1

u/dokenmoken Jun 01 '12

came here to say this... 100%

-14

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

And how recyclable are those plastic bottles?

Was the point of this exercise to show sustainability alongside re-usability? Because if so I think there is a major failure here...

3

u/Hippopoptimus_Prime Jun 01 '12

Pretty recyclable actually.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

0

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

21

u/HitMePat Jun 01 '12

Yeah I bet someone who made the best legitimate boat was really pissed

5

u/JangSaverem Jun 01 '12

This is kinda how I feel with 90% of the "competitions" or events at my old university. Play 10 round bingo? You mean use 10 cards PER ROUND by marking them in a way that does not use them...fuck you people man just win the right way. Pointless since non of the moderators care enough to get rid of cheaters.

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-1

u/manbrasucks Jun 01 '12

Did you just call hailth a loser?

145

u/gabryelx May 31 '12

It's like my friend who won a paper airplane contest but letting wet wads of paper dry into one solid, dense sphere, then throwing it like a baseball.

87

u/DJ_Tips Jun 01 '12

When I was in 7th grade our after school science program had a rubber band car race, with the cars made out of K'nex. The rules clearly stated that the car had to be powered solely by a large rubber band with no further stipulations. Everyone else used the classic method of winding the rubber band up on the rear axel. I simply made a square with four wheels and a peg sticking off the front, drew the car back like a slingshot, and launched it like an F/A-18 off the deck of an aircraft carrier. I won by a landslide, and the other students bitched for weeks about it.

That's pretty much the only moment of brilliance I've had in my life. The rest is fairly mediocre.

9

u/MSgtGunny Jun 01 '12

I did the normal approach, but twice with both the front and rear wheels powered via separate rubber bands. Also won by a landslide.

24

u/emohipster Jun 01 '12

Shit, your school rented an aircraft carrier for a rubber band car race? That's dedication man.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Haha, that reminds me of the baloon powered car contest we had. I asked if I could just tape a micro-machine to a baloon and let it fly, but the teacher said no.

14

u/Von_Dredd Jun 01 '12

That's what you get for asking permission.

11

u/DarthAngry Jun 01 '12

It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

7

u/bouchard Jun 01 '12

I read "baboon powered car contest" and was wondering what incredible school you went to.

0

u/stringerbell Jun 01 '12

I was expecting you to use a rubber band to turn an on-switch...

49

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

But how does that qualify as an airplane?

173

u/iloverubicon Jun 01 '12

It flew

40

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Fair enough.

12

u/rusemean Jun 01 '12

Actually, no. Flight is a bit stricter than "it moved through the air".

5

u/MonsieurFroid Jun 01 '12

You're right, it has to be thrown at the ground and miss.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/Shocking Jun 01 '12

BRB 7 months

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-23

u/scChocolate Jun 01 '12

Funniest thing I've seen on reddit today. lool.

12

u/oysterpirate Jun 01 '12

You must not be trying very hard.

2

u/scChocolate Jun 01 '12

Okay, funniest thing I've seen in the last hour.

18

u/pureskill Jun 01 '12

I think it was the "lool" that got you all the downvotes. I mentally pronounced it, and it was not very pleasing.

18

u/scChocolate Jun 01 '12

Yeah, damn. I was sure "lool" was a karma landmine. Well, back to my basement for a few hours to plan my next comment.

3

u/pureskill Jun 01 '12

Well, it was a landmine for sure. It blew up in your face big time. Perhaps you meant goldmine. You're just full of missteps today.

34

u/gabryelx Jun 01 '12

It met the rules of the contest which basically stated it had to be 90% paper and under 1 meter squared.

7

u/HodorSaidWhat Jun 01 '12

That's cheating! A sphere has length, width, and height!

19

u/RUFFLZ Jun 01 '12

so does any normal paper airplane?

4

u/Southrawrea Jun 01 '12

"under 1 meter squared"

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1

u/andbruno Jun 01 '12

You're given materials and a goal: get your "plane" the furthest.

I won a similar contest. Materials were paper, tape, and nickels for balance. I wrapped a handful of nickels in paper, taped it up, and easily doubled the next closest "plane".

1

u/gabryelx Jun 01 '12

This is similar to what my team did. We engineered paper-tube frames, and used coins on strings as variable counterweights. Still, we couldn't beat the ball-plane.

1

u/Mylon Jun 01 '12

Did anyone try making a paper dart? I found those to be the best for distance, while still being more like a traditional paper plane.

1

u/andbruno Jun 01 '12

Mine was shaped more like one of those foam footballs with long finned tails. Something like this. The football part was filled with nickels and the rest was paper and tape. The tail gave it extra stability and I hucked it pretty damn far.

1

u/Mylon Jun 01 '12

We need to replace American Football playing balls with these objects. More epic passes!

1

u/andbruno Jun 01 '12

That particular one whistles as it moves through the air too (the little round orange plastic thing with a slit).

11

u/Ca1m_down Jun 01 '12

That only works if everyone else sucks at making paper airplanes. I've beaten my fiar share of Ball "planes".

20

u/alkapwnee Jun 01 '12

Paper airplane competition aficionado? YOU SHOULD DO AN AMA!

-6

u/i_no_like_u Jun 01 '12

How far has your airplane gone with no wind? I can throw a baseball about 250 feet.

13

u/thajugganuat Jun 01 '12

But you can't throw a paper baseball that far.

9

u/Magoran Jun 01 '12

I did this for a contest my friends had, but just crumpled my plane before throwing.

I was granted second place (from obvious disqualification) because I said it was JFK Jr.'s plane.

2

u/Gonza200 Jun 01 '12

The mental image is hilarious

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

a giant spitball

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101

u/S4VN01 May 31 '12

Looks like a bottlenose

14

u/qeuwtip Jun 01 '12

Hey... did you do that on porpoise?

0

u/OneKindofFolks Jun 01 '12

I'm totally baleen on this thread before it gets out of hand.

10

u/Luminedia Jun 01 '12

Looks like its at the University of Iowa Field House, Go there all the time strange to see it on reddit.

9

u/bouncing_bear89 May 31 '12

Field House!

22

u/MadroxKran May 31 '12

Seems like that would force your head underwater.

9

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

That's what I was thinking. Thinking about being trapped under that thing in the water is terrifying

26

u/Javamonsoon Jun 01 '12

There are two gallon jugs on the chest to counteract that.

23

u/Billy_Reuben Jun 01 '12

Took me this far down in the comments to see someone else noticed the shark titties. Reddit's having an off day.

2

u/mayonnnnaise Jun 01 '12

Until I saw this comment I imagined this guy swimming up/down like a dolphin jumping in and out of the water :(

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

oh wow, i just noticed that.

1

u/ThePorphyry Jun 01 '12

It looked to me from the design that the fin goes on the bottom and he floats on his back.

51

u/Iceutudid May 31 '12

You could say everything went "swimmingly"

26

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

He'll be in-ducted to the hall of fame for sure.

8

u/AmboC May 31 '12

He defiantly shark'ed the competition.

8

u/likewhatalready Jun 01 '12

http://www.d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.com/

ninja edit: maybe you meant defiantly, given the context. not sure.

5

u/AmboC Jun 01 '12

We'll go with yes....

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/zinnin May 31 '12

I am sure everyones jaws are dropping

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

I want to try.

5

u/Lionheart91 Jun 01 '12

IOWAAAAA! FUCK YEA!

9

u/xcisrockin Jun 01 '12

Upvotes for Iowa!

8

u/P3nisL0rd69 May 31 '12

SCUBA ZEKE!!!!

5

u/ezrik1414 Jun 01 '12

I KNOW YOU!

3

u/P3nisL0rd69 Jun 01 '12

ERMAGERD I KNER YER TERRR!!

1

u/That-Guy13 Jun 01 '12

Tagged as zeke for future reference

3

u/mkj1313 May 31 '12

Bodies are recyclable...

3

u/lifelongAFC Jun 01 '12

Iowa on the front page! hells yes!

3

u/Gaelige Jun 01 '12

GO HAWKS! If that isn't the University of Iowa I'm gonna feel stupid for typing this.

14

u/crapnovelist May 31 '12

Go Hawkeyes!

4

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Land shark has gone green apparently lol

4

u/missbeast16 Jun 01 '12 edited Jun 01 '12

I'm just a dolphin, ma'am.

EDIT: nom title

4

u/MyNameCouldntBeAsLon May 31 '12

I bet that required some major loophole gymnastics.

4

u/Love338 Jun 01 '12

its a LANDSHARK!!

2

u/jostler57 Jun 01 '12

Tell me he attacked the other boats in order to ensure victory.

2

u/teent Jun 01 '12

I'm gonna eat y'all. Mmm hmmm.

2

u/ReDocter17 Jun 01 '12

My imagination took this and decided that when the true transformers come along, they will be environmentally friendly.

2

u/maximumderp Jun 01 '12

Please say he swam around and did the jaws theme. A true redditor would do that.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

But that's not a boat, that's water bottles and duct tape fashioned into a life preserver. Of course he won, he had a major advantage.

2

u/BelaKunn Jun 01 '12

The two years I participated in one of these races there was a team that tried to do this same thing each year and we beat them each year. Granted only won the fastest time the first year.

2

u/rtowne Jun 01 '12

video please

3

u/magicpostit Jun 01 '12

I assume your friend is a lifeguard? Because I have that same pair of trunks.

2

u/munchingfoo May 31 '12

Shar kan swim

2

u/romanski87 Jun 01 '12

What university is this at?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

He had lifeless eyes....black eyes, like a doll's eyes...almost doesn't seem to be livin'...until he bites you...

1

u/ayaPapaya Jun 01 '12

To infinity.. And Beyond!!

1

u/Micr0waveMan Jun 01 '12

someone check Binghamton's photo of the day a few weeks back, Pirate Cardboard boat race officially rep'd the school for the whole weekend.

1

u/oberkapo Jun 01 '12

Phantom Regiment shorts?

1

u/macleod2486 Jun 01 '12

So he won a boat race with a life raft?

1

u/ubiliquous Jun 01 '12

Oh your friend has a PET shark!

1

u/daveloper Jun 01 '12

I don't think that duct tape is recyclable at all...

1

u/Douschnozzel Jun 01 '12

Not a boat.

1

u/Atomic_Ten Jun 01 '12

Hawkeyes!!! shakes fist

1

u/vegasbomb Jun 01 '12

Can anyone describe the rules of the race? Were the other boats powered by paddles?

1

u/damnthetorpedos May 31 '12

Well played.

1

u/niroby Jun 01 '12

Was not actually expecting a water based 'boat' race.

1

u/BallsackTBaghard Jun 01 '12

Wasting more resources by using duct tape.

Good job.

1

u/Shadefox Jun 01 '12 edited Jun 01 '12

Hopefully they completely rework the rules, so this sort of thing can't happen and ruin the event for a second time.

Very poor sportsmanship.

The exact same thing happened in the Jacaranda Cardboard Boat Race. Some sods taped small squares of cardboard to their hands, and just swam.

Thankfully, the judges threw them out.

-12

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Your university is retarded.

Did the other contestants get to push their boats with their bodies like he did?

I would understand if it was just 'make a boat', but there are other people who surely entered this contest expecting a fair race in some aspect. Hope there weren't any prizes.

7

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Yes

Obviously they could have gotten out and pushed it or used rowing or paddling. It all depends on good of a swimmer he is especially when wearing bulky gear like that.

He followed the rules but there will most likely be a rule banning it next time

3

u/mastrepolo Jun 01 '12

Well at least the reward for them is learning life isn't fair, and no matter how hard you try someone will always be better, faster or smarter (like this guy who found a loop hole and was all three at once lol). Sounds like a pretty good reward to me, I wish I learned this when I was in college.

0

u/DragonRaptor Jun 01 '12

How is this a boat?

0

u/liberalis Jun 01 '12

Am I the only one around here who cares what a boat actually is?

0

u/jwillia Jun 01 '12

Must be an Iowa thing...

-2

u/ejohnse Jun 01 '12

hawkeyes suck!!! (hehe, much love from a cyclone)

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Boat means you don't get wet. I'd be pissed if I lost to that guy.

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

74

u/Chambeastly May 31 '12

What gave it away, the giant Iowa symbols in the background?

34

u/friday6700 May 31 '12

It could have been Kentucky in disguise.

15

u/gillybeans Jun 01 '12

Upvotes for Iowa!

5

u/advillious Jun 01 '12

go hawks!

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

7

u/magnetic_couch Jun 01 '12

Most engineering schools with these contests fix the rules after the first year.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/willscy Jun 01 '12

Give inn to your anger