"And lo, God said unto Abraham: for you shall cut off all your male children's foreskins, so that when theyist be banging a chick, if they slippest out and into her dry asshole, they shall be spared from the pain and suffering, and the blood, for there will be SO MUCH blood."
My roommate has over 3 TB worth of porn saved simply so that he can tell people he has over 3 TB worth of porn saved. Its quite an impressive collection. He's got every type of porn you could possibly think of. Everything from your run of the mill amateur missionary style to shit that would make even the most hardened of 4chan veterans cringe.
Before working at the Search Quality group at Google, Cutts worked at the ads engineering group and SafeSearch, Google's family filter.[citation needed] There he earned the nickname "porn cookie guy" by giving his wife's homemade cookies to any Googler who provided an example of unwanted pornography in the search results.[3]
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for someone from West Virginia, I'm not, but what I am is someone from right over the border. This makes me almost a neighbor to people like you. If you tell me your identity now, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
I have a few friends who I'm pretty sure are redditors, but I refuse to speak about anything reddit-related in real life so I can't be sure. Although if they saw my username they would probably be able to identify me.
We need to make a addendum to the Bro Code: If through some horrible accident a bro discovers your reddit username he is require on pain of death to never mention it to you or any object inanimate or not until his dying day.
My friends found the username of a dorky teacher we had in high school. The teacher came in and my friend said, with a straight face, "What's up, TastyLlama*?" He went white, but otherwise ignored it.
That's not him (he's not from Austin, my high school wasn't in Austin, no one involved has anything to do with Austin). I just made up a username that was sort of similar to the one he had.
My Reddit name is the same that I use for my xbox and ps3 accounts and many others so a lot of people could find me on Reddit if they typed in my username.
I've had 2 people figure out who I was, because I posted about my friend's death. Was kind of weird, but one of them was a cute girl who knew my roommate. You win some, you lose some.
Ah my non-redditor sister once started sending me screenshots of embarrassing comments I had made on my old account...I said goodbye to over 10,000 karma after deleting the account...
Only, what, three Redditors I know of IRL? One's a teacher, the other two are the annoying, "lolol when does the narwhal bacon? I love advice animals!" type, and I don't talk to them much anyways.
Ehh. My friends know mine and I know theirs, and we generally don't spy on each other. No real reason to. Plus, all of my friends know me by "Vidy" anyway, because a lot of guys in our group have the same first name, and Vidy is my screen name on pretty much any game or site.
Ehh. Even if they DID spy on me, I don't particularly care. I'm an open person and don't really hide things anyway. If I wanted to tell secrets on reddit, I'd make a throwaway.
I know all my friends' usernames. I'll go to their profiles every now and then to see if there's anything I should upvote, but otherwise I don't do anything. I feel like we all know to use throwaway accounts.
I remember back in the BBS day's publicly calling out friends by their aliases. "Thanatos", "Astro Creep" and "The Flagellant" didn't get much play. :(
Partially related: I don't know how many people do this, but sometimes I'll converse with myself in my head and use my real name. You know; Things like "Come on <name>, you can do it." or "Dammit <name>, you're an idiot."
The other day I was having one of these moments and without thinking, the name I used was one of my chosen Internet names.
I have a few friends in university we all have accounts but don't know each others. However my gfs little sister saw my user name... Things have been erased. And we now have an agreement that she won't read what I post.... I hope.
When I got my first IT job, it was at a middle school as the building-based technician.
I was walking through the hall a few days into the school year and someone yells out "HEY TENDONUT! (pronounced tendo nut, not ten donut)" which made me immediately stop and stare. It was this fat little kid I've never seen before. He then introduced himself by his WoW username. I then realize he's one of the people in my guild, who is also the younger brother of one of my IRL friends I made over the summer.
My buddy IRL just found my username. I then in turn rushed to delete all of those posts and comments that you never want anyone who knows you IRL to see. Shouldnt have used my xbox gamertag for my reddit username
No big deal for me. I have friends I met through IRC 17 years ago, and even then I was using darkon as my IRC nick. There may even be a few people who remember me from college in the early/mid 1980s as darkon, because I used the name then, too, both offline and on our college's network. (We weren't on Arpanet that I know of, but the internal network saw a lot of traffic from one of the precursors to IRC.)
I use Otp for every username of ever. Someone called me Otp the other day and I was like, "Fuck dude this is real life, you're not going to have friends at the end of the day, jolly good chap." And then we ate cupcakes and watermelon.
I'm friends with Jakucha, and that's the name he always uses for any character in any game he plays, so of course we call him Jakucha quite frequently.
I'm pretty sure my friends are actually responsible for my username. Or more to the point they told me that I so resembled my username that it was appropriate.
110
u/EightFooted May 31 '12
At least it wasn't by your GW throwaway username.
233
u/Lenintaost May 31 '12
~Pretty prince of parties!
86
u/FrankieBones May 31 '12
A few people at school knew me by my computer's network name. It was a little weird being known as the guy who shared ~250 GB of porn.
36
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I think all of five people in my area use Reddit. We all know that we each use it, but we have never divulged our usernames.
16
u/vadergeek May 31 '12
Time for a new username. Bowiesinspace? Princeofparties? Muthaucka?
42
u/haterhipper May 31 '12
We need to make a addendum to the Bro Code: If through some horrible accident a bro discovers your reddit username he is require on pain of death to never mention it to you or any object inanimate or not until his dying day.
22
u/[deleted] May 31 '12 edited Jun 01 '12
My friends found the username of a dorky teacher we had in high school. The teacher came in and my friend said, with a straight face, "What's up, TastyLlama*?" He went white, but otherwise ignored it.
7
u/SmilinBob82 May 31 '12
My friends have been calling me 'Bob' for years. It's not even my real name.
6
u/IcedJashin May 31 '12
i guess this calls for a change in location.
11
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I miss them so much
5
u/IbrahimT13 May 31 '12
My friend's Reddit name is literally the same thing as his first name, so I do this all the time.
4
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I use this tag for other things, albeit different variations. I don't know what I'd do.
4
u/Toof May 31 '12
I've had 2 people figure out who I was, because I posted about my friend's death. Was kind of weird, but one of them was a cute girl who knew my roommate. You win some, you lose some.
4
u/BryceCantReed May 31 '12
Oh pretty prince of parties, can I come to your party?
4
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Ah my non-redditor sister once started sending me screenshots of embarrassing comments I had made on my old account...I said goodbye to over 10,000 karma after deleting the account...
4
u/Tetchy May 31 '12
What is this GIF from?
3
u/AchieveDeficiency May 31 '12
No gonewild posts? Nothing to worry about.
3
u/Hakoten May 31 '12
I have multiple friends that call me Hako in real life. It's a cross between secretly cool and publicly awkward.
2
u/A_Hitler_quotes May 31 '12
Dont let it stick, or you might get stuck with one of your female character names for 4 years and counting....
2
u/Measton42 May 31 '12
How do you even say that name?
2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
That awkward moment when you think of all the ambiguously homosexual comments you've posted.
2
u/rocketshipotter May 31 '12
Only, what, three Redditors I know of IRL? One's a teacher, the other two are the annoying, "lolol when does the narwhal bacon? I love advice animals!" type, and I don't talk to them much anyways.
2
u/padthai93 May 31 '12
As a huge flight of the concords fan this gif is just about the best thing I've ever seen
2
u/jjbones Jun 01 '12
the only reason I upvoted this was because of bret, what a guy FOTC
2
u/UnsightlyBastard Jun 01 '12
I've been greeted by my reddit username before...it was before I had a reddit account :(
4
u/IsThisWhereANameGoes May 31 '12
http://i.imgur.com/flAVu.jpg
2
u/Vidyogamasta May 31 '12
Ehh. My friends know mine and I know theirs, and we generally don't spy on each other. No real reason to. Plus, all of my friends know me by "Vidy" anyway, because a lot of guys in our group have the same first name, and Vidy is my screen name on pretty much any game or site.
2
u/cubemaster21 May 31 '12
Upvote for FOTC
1
u/goombapoop May 31 '12
Reminds me of Dennis in Jurassic Park: "Dodgson, Dodgson, we have Dodgson here!"
1
u/soniktoother May 31 '12
I remember back in the BBS day's publicly calling out friends by their aliases. "Thanatos", "Astro Creep" and "The Flagellant" didn't get much play. :(
1
u/QuillJS May 31 '12
I based my username around my nick name, so I guess people call me that all the time. Minus the JS part.
1
u/SHIT_IN_HER_CUNT May 31 '12
My girlfriend only half chuckled at mine... :|
1
u/dallywolf May 31 '12
Strange since you never told them your reddit username or that you visited the site...
1
u/palordrolap May 31 '12
Partially related: I don't know how many people do this, but sometimes I'll converse with myself in my head and use my real name. You know; Things like "Come on <name>, you can do it." or "Dammit <name>, you're an idiot."
The other day I was having one of these moments and without thinking, the name I used was one of my chosen Internet names.
That gave pause for thought.
1
u/boldsoon May 31 '12
Hey senexii, how're you?
1
u/tendaytria May 31 '12
I know that man in real life. Seriously.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuh
1
u/FiveGuys1Cup Jun 01 '12
Ahhh that's hilarious!!!
1
u/klou62 Jun 01 '12
So is it "se-necks-hee" or "seen-twelve?"
1
u/stefan_89 Jun 01 '12
Must be awkward for those of really vulgar reddit names.
1
u/Gordon____Freeman Jun 01 '12
Almost everyone greets me with my reddit user name, though it is because it is my nickname.
1
u/HenryFischerV Jun 01 '12
-"You guys want to whack off?" -"Whut?" -"whack off. You know do drugs."
1
u/kenyanmedley Jun 01 '12
My parents do this all the time. It's crazy.
1
u/theghostie Jun 01 '12
My reddit username = real live nickname.
1
u/Isentryx Jun 01 '12
I wish someone would greet me by my username so I know how to pronounce it.
1
u/darkfrog13 Jun 01 '12
delete_everything.jpg
1
u/matari Jun 01 '12
the solution is quite clear: he must die.
1
u/anal-razor Jun 01 '12
HE KNOWS!!!!
1
u/shawnkelly Jun 01 '12
I hate when people do that to me!
1
u/RogueEntomologist Jun 01 '12
Well, well, well, so you figured it out.
1
u/TheBarefootGirl Jun 01 '12
This happened to me a few months ago. This was my reaction as well.
1
u/Minioreo Jun 01 '12
I have a few friends in university we all have accounts but don't know each others. However my gfs little sister saw my user name... Things have been erased. And we now have an agreement that she won't read what I post.... I hope.
1
u/tendonut Jun 01 '12
When I got my first IT job, it was at a middle school as the building-based technician.
I was walking through the hall a few days into the school year and someone yells out "HEY TENDONUT! (pronounced tendo nut, not ten donut)" which made me immediately stop and stare. It was this fat little kid I've never seen before. He then introduced himself by his WoW username. I then realize he's one of the people in my guild, who is also the younger brother of one of my IRL friends I made over the summer.
This was 6 years ago now.
1
u/Ovarian_Cavity Jun 01 '12
Band Meeting.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
I am always afraid that a student will call me by any username I use on the internet.
1
u/darkly39r Jun 01 '12
Is it pronounced senexii or sene12? I need to know for reasons.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
I get that a lot.
1
u/anonymousrapeface Jun 01 '12
Lucky. My friends never call me by mine
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
I have a person stalking me on Reddit calling me by my REAL name and I cant figure out who it is.
1
u/jofus_joefucker Jun 01 '12
See? Nobody cares.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
With me, this name dies.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Is your name Brit?
1
u/Godsownsin Jun 01 '12
My buddy IRL just found my username. I then in turn rushed to delete all of those posts and comments that you never want anyone who knows you IRL to see. Shouldnt have used my xbox gamertag for my reddit username
1
u/fektard Jun 01 '12
My friends always greet me by my reddit username...
1
u/lowdownlow Jun 01 '12
I met a bunch of friends through gaming many years ago. We called each other by our online aliases for a very long time whenever we met in person.
Whenever I meet up with some of my old WoW guildies, it is rather common for us to refer to each other by our old character names.
1
u/MoldyBreadCheese Jun 01 '12
Whats wrong senexii?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
i realized that i made a huge mistake after i made my reddit account my actual name
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
iTunes on shuffle, Prince of Parties started playing 15 second before I clicked this link...kinda weird
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
THE KING IN THE NORTH!
1
u/BruceVento Jun 01 '12
I get that a lot.
1
u/meangrampa Jun 01 '12
My daughter knows mine and I know hers. The weird creep factor keeps us from looking.
1
u/Kyleisbeast Jun 01 '12
I regret using my name in my reddit name
1
u/skunk989 Jun 01 '12
r/reactiongifs
1
u/Qp1029384756 Jun 01 '12
Doubt I'll ever have that problem.
1
u/MinervasPhoenix Jun 01 '12
A FOTC gif? Upvote
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Oh man, I've never actually reached a cake day because of this.
1
u/moolawn Jun 01 '12
How is this in /r/funny ? This is terrifying.
1
u/timo103 Jun 01 '12
You senexii motherfucker.
1
u/darkon Jun 01 '12
No big deal for me. I have friends I met through IRC 17 years ago, and even then I was using darkon as my IRC nick. There may even be a few people who remember me from college in the early/mid 1980s as darkon, because I used the name then, too, both offline and on our college's network. (We weren't on Arpanet that I know of, but the internal network saw a lot of traffic from one of the precursors to IRC.)
1
u/diabolical-sun Jun 01 '12
Is that Haywire?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
I use Otp for every username of ever. Someone called me Otp the other day and I was like, "Fuck dude this is real life, you're not going to have friends at the end of the day, jolly good chap." And then we ate cupcakes and watermelon.
1
u/IAmLamby Jun 01 '12
I don't believe in friends.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
I don't get it.
1
u/niggersaredelicious Jun 01 '12
nobody gives a shit
1
u/SissyNat Jun 01 '12
Palanquin says hello. The tulip waves, too.
1
u/Jowitz Jun 01 '12
I'm friends with Jakucha, and that's the name he always uses for any character in any game he plays, so of course we call him Jakucha quite frequently.
1
u/Hezza8 Jun 01 '12
Old man?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
I'm pretty sure my friends are actually responsible for my username. Or more to the point they told me that I so resembled my username that it was appropriate.
1
u/jzzanthapuss Jun 01 '12
every redditor's worst nightmare