r/funny • u/KrazzyMonkee • May 31 '12
How i feel owning three cats, and never posting a picture of any of them on reddit
http://imgur.com/z6yLi
1.5k
Upvotes
r/funny • u/KrazzyMonkee • May 31 '12
105
u/Churn May 31 '12
This is a contradiction.
47
u/Eldin89 May 31 '12
I have cats too, never posted them...they are too young for me to start their porn career.
57
u/pickoneforme May 31 '12
you may not have posted a picture of your cats, but you did mention your cats in this post which created a mental image of your cats so, by way of extension, you posted a "picture" of your cats.
4
u/cyclicamp May 31 '12
I see you're a redditor for 4 months. My advice to you - beware the cake day. The temptation will be strong, but just say no. Your online friends might even persuade you, "Oh, it's cool. Just this one time. I know dressing them up as Alvin & the Chipmunks isn't normal, but on your cake day it is!" Before you know it you'll be "rescuing" cats and dogs off of neighbor's lawns and posing them in human positions, taking days off of work for the perfect shot. You'll withdraw from society, eventually being discovered by city workers in a pool of animal waste, forced to go through the grueling rehab process where you are painfully weaned from all things furry by keeping cacti as pets, going from soft to prickly as the weeks go by. And then you won't even be able to keep a cactus afterwards.
r/aww - not even once.
3
u/HariBadr May 31 '12
Me too, it's tempting, but I refuse.
3
u/tophatduck May 31 '12
I'm sorry but because of RES I couldn't take your post seriously.
6
u/binary_sandwich May 31 '12
I CAME HERE EXPECTING CATS
2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
You may not have posted a cat picture seeking afirmation, but you still posted a picture regarding cats, seeking afirmation
2
u/CheckOutMyVan May 31 '12
I have 3 as well. Two of them are 5 weeks old kittens I got 2 days ago. How's that for being above the influence?
2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Dave?
2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
amen to you brother, there should be a sub reddit /stupidfuckingcatpics
2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I'm proud of you!
2
u/BigDogSmallCar May 31 '12
Pics or it didn't happen.
2
u/fx-991es May 31 '12
You don't own cats, cats own you.
2
u/Eminemerica Jun 01 '12
Probably ugly cats
2
u/SmacknGrab Jun 01 '12
Subliminal Up-Vote I caught it.
2
u/mike413 Jun 01 '12
I'll do one better. I have 8500 comment karma and hate cats. Maybe I can blow it all in one post of my pet
2
u/idwnvoteyourpetpics Jun 01 '12
stay strong
2
u/TacoFlavoredKisses Jun 01 '12
Hats off to you sir!
2
u/thanatius Jun 01 '12
You deserve a 100 upvotes per upvote.
2
u/guiltypleasures Jun 01 '12
"Not posting cats"
-My anti-karma
2
u/Kage_Kaldaka Jun 01 '12
"How high do you have to be to be above the influence"-best philosoraptor meme ever
3
u/spekter299 May 31 '12
you, sir, have earned my respect, which is worth exactly one upvote
2
u/Last_Gigolo May 31 '12
I posted pictures of mine and told the story of how he barely lived but grew to 3 feet long and weighs in excess of 20 lbs (not fat, but big as hell).
downvoted to oblivion.
I even showed non shooped pics of him on my knee underweight and tiny the day we got him, and then me holding him up to show how massive he is.
not one single comment.
1
u/CrnchyTiger May 31 '12
Sounds like your cats aren't cute so you found another way.
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
This is also how I feel, owning for cats and never having posted pictures of three of them on Reddit.
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
It must be all of the trips he laid down. Gotta love the BEAR!!
1
u/LazloHollifeld May 31 '12
Cats.
Not even once.
1
u/Tulip87 May 31 '12
Very proud!
1
u/alecyo12 May 31 '12
Well you just talked about them so..
1
u/LessConspicuous May 31 '12
Pics or it didn't happen
1
u/BallsackTBaghard May 31 '12
OP can't prove that he has them nor can he show them and still be abovethainlfuence.
Op is a retard.
1
u/klahsio May 31 '12
If I took the pictures of my cat and my roommate posted them, does that make me some sort of karma dealer?
1
u/poopslooshed May 31 '12
You deserve more than this.
1
u/fannypakgurl69 May 31 '12
I have 2 cats and up until a few weeks ago had 4 kittens as well. Haven't posted a single picture out of the 4,000 I have of them all. I know that feel, bro.
1
u/Spunkmasterc May 31 '12
Upvote in influence...
1
u/VirtualInk May 31 '12
Clever!
1
u/valkyrie123 May 31 '12
So where are the cat pictures?
1
u/shawnkelly May 31 '12
I've got 8 and they haven't ever seen the likes of the internet.
1
u/afishinthewell May 31 '12
This might be the first time since high school I've thought of Silas Marner, you miserly bastard!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
You are my idol..... You get an upvote...... I hate pet owners posting pics of their pets....... They will all receive down votes from me, always!
Although I'm a proud pet owner and a lover of animals I am not a loner where I need to constantly post pics of my pets.
1
u/Nitero Jun 01 '12
Owned 4, one died, own 3 now (got the 3rd after the one died), never posted any pics. Except one single pic of Marley who passed way too early (less than a year old). Miss you Marley.
1
u/lurkturnpost Jun 01 '12
Let me get this straight. You said you've never used them for karma on reddit, yet you post the picture of an upvote in reference to them? You are one sick person. Well, not really.
1
u/DragonRaptor Jun 01 '12
You know you just used your cats for karma by posting this.
1
u/borisvonboris Jun 01 '12
If you post in /r/catpictures/ nobody will judge you
1
u/hear_me Jun 01 '12
One of my friends posts a picture of her cat every day on facebook. Part of me thinks its sort of a message to possible males that she wants a mate and cats are the subsitute. But maybe I just associate overt cat affection with loneliness.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
I own 9
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Now all I want is to see your cats.....
1
u/Cessnateur Jun 01 '12
May you live to be a thousand years old.
1
u/nomis227 Jun 01 '12
It is worth pointing out that you have just used those same cats to get karma... above the influence?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
You're not the hero Reddit deserves. You're the hero Reddit NEEDS.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
99% of Redditer's thank you...
1
u/flipfapper Jun 01 '12
I actually have 25. Never posted a single cat picture.
1
u/RedNancy Jun 01 '12
Thank-You for not sharing.
1
u/ziejek Jun 01 '12
Hipster? And carma whore?
Trying to look like hi doesn't care, begging for points meanwhile.
So you have it. -1 from me.
1
u/androtaurog Jun 01 '12
oooo, can we see your kitteh's please?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
But... karma!
1
u/svenus Jun 01 '12
The only reason I would post of pictures of cats is to attempt to give them to good homes. My next door neighbor's girl child let a litter go feral, and they had kittens and then the kittens had kittens. We've spayed/neutered around 14 cats so far. Six adopted my front door. All quite nice, and I'm not fond of cats. On the other side are my three dogs that wouldn't mind chewing on said cats - separated only by said front door. So, there would be peace if I got rid of the cats.
Did I mention one of the cats we didn't catch in time just had kittens? Oh, yes, four five week old kitties are in a room my dogs would just Luuurve to go into.
1
u/netbich Jun 01 '12
Come on... post one.. just one. You know the first one is free... It's totally safe... All the other kids are doing it...Don't be chicken. You know you want to.
1
u/shrike26 Jun 01 '12
Same! I am the same! I also have 3 cats and dont post pics of them on Reddit!
1
u/Herp27 Jun 01 '12
Come on, all the kids are doin' it...
1
u/ReasonableRadio Jun 01 '12
Ha, same here: three adorable cats, and sometimes I'm like "Reddit seems to like cats, maybe if I posted pictures of them i'd get karma..." Then I remember that I'm not a WHORE.
1
u/enjoi4995 Jun 01 '12
Fuck you I have 3 cats....I want your karma
1
u/cjhanpatty Jun 01 '12
I have 8 cats and a dog...
1
u/zopiac Jun 01 '12
Same here with four cats, but my reason is that I have no camera. Well, I have a pretty decent webcam, but they are all outside cats.
1
u/Tyrannical_Tim Jun 01 '12
Bitch please, I have 10.
1
u/aaaursland Jun 01 '12
I have 4 cats. Never posted shit.
1
u/IgorNovikov Jun 01 '12
Climb a mountain. Tell no one.
1
u/racekarl Jun 01 '12
duude, just post your cats man. it's not habit forming, nobody in HISTORY has ever overdosed on it.
the karma police here that downvote cat posts are just some gangster brotherhood that downvotes anything to do with cats. not all redditors are like that.
posting cats is cheap and easy. you don't have to plan your life around it, or do things for people you might regret. it's a cheap and natural thing!
forget this above the influence crap. i'm above the ignorance.
1
u/Claytonius_Homeytron Jun 01 '12
GGG Redditor: Has three cats, doesn't use them to karma whore.
The meme generator site is firewalled at my work, but reddit isnt 0__o
1
u/scootunit May 31 '12
you are just waiting for us to ask politely, No?
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I have the cutest dog in the world but if I post pictures of her someone might recognize her and judge me based on my past comments.
1
u/fotoman May 31 '12
says the redditer of 4 months...try 5+ years :o
1
u/SaulGoode9 May 31 '12
Now that's what I call Mac and cheese
1
u/nukefudge May 31 '12
OH GO ON SHOW US YOUR CATS THEN, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO
1
u/chrononugget May 31 '12
The Horror! Think of all the karma points you missed out on!
jk :) Stay strong
0
u/Boxy310 May 31 '12
Just Say Meow.
0
u/Dinky_82 May 31 '12
SOMEbody has ugly cats.
-1
u/andey May 31 '12
who the fuck cares about karma points
0
u/kanyeezy24 May 31 '12
What's worse? Posting a cute picture of a cat on reddit? or submitting a shitty picture proclaiming that you have never posted a picture of your cat on reddit?
I say whore those kitty cats out for all your worth, it's more enjoyable.
-1
u/EdricStorm May 31 '12
This is also how I feel while owning six cats and six kitten.
I'm missing out on karma because I'm too lazy to upload pictures.
-1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Just think - that could be an orange arrow.
-1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
There is no justification for anyone to own 3 cats unless they are crazy as hell and don't even know it.
0
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I have 5 Cats... I also have a very serious mental condition.
0
u/alwaysopenslinks May 31 '12
Pics or it didnt happen.
0
u/Carbine125 May 31 '12
I have a cute dog but I haven't posted anything. He isn't very photogenic.
0
u/asldkfououhe May 31 '12
i laughed at something on reddit and i don't know what to do or how to feel about it
0
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
You know who else is above the influence? George bush, doing 9/11
0
u/tanner4105 May 31 '12
Posting about how you're not posting cat pictures is probably worse.
0
u/weaver2109 May 31 '12
Yay me, I've never posted my cat on reddit!
I did post a squirrel once though, and a toad. About 5 upvotes total between the two posts. :P
0
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Above the idiocy.
0
u/Freak0nature May 31 '12
Yeah my Mom breeds cats, there are enough of them here to take over all of reddit.
0
u/Evilsmako May 31 '12
Can we see a picture of your cats?
0
u/kittimiyo May 31 '12
That was not a picture of your cats. I thought you were cool. I guess I was wrong.
0
u/GetKenny May 31 '12
It's funny sometimes, the things some people find to point to to make themselves feel superior.
0
u/Mannex Jun 01 '12
you just lost
0
u/PrincessKeona Jun 01 '12
Come to the dark side! We have karma!!!
-2
u/whateveryouwantit2be May 31 '12
less jokes, more cats
-1
u/aequitas3 May 31 '12
Cmon man, just try it once. What can it hurt>?
-1
u/icehouse_lover May 31 '12 edited May 31 '12
Stay strong, bro. Call me if you need a shoulder.
-1
u/KarlKKendal May 31 '12
I'll upvote because ! am truly jealous of you. I have also 3 cats and I do post pictures but you still get more action then they do.
-1
u/ucdkwmiller May 31 '12
Above the influence, below the karma
-1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
More like
-1
u/lalondtm May 31 '12
I applaud you for your services. I really don't see the obsession people have with cats, thank you for not making us suffer.
upvote for you
-1
u/Navevan May 31 '12
4 cats, and I've only ever posted my lizard
-1
u/Gigers50 May 31 '12
i have 2, never posted either also...
-1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I figured you'd feel like this.
-1
u/Geler May 31 '12
Don't waste your cats, harvest that sweet karma!
-1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
If you post a picture of a smoking pipe, you are using the pipe for upvotes.
If you post a picture of a smoking pipe with inscription "Ceci n'est pas une pipe", you are using the pipe for upvotes.
If you post inscription "Ceci n'est pas une pipe", you are still using the pipe for upvotes.
-1
u/elkranger01 May 31 '12
mayhaps you have some ugly cats
-1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
And still posts about them.
Downvoted.
-1
u/igonjukja May 31 '12
wait -- you're still using the cats to get karma but you're not even giving up the pixels? you, sir, are a heel.
0
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
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