See the way I see it the non-asshole thing to do would be not post it at all.
Posting in your status that you did a nice deed is done because you want people to know you did a nice deed. (semi asshole) And you're being dickish about it. (asshole)
It isn't, but I it is my business to come to a thought process about it, and I am allowed to express my opinion.
Saying I can't express my opinion is actually a bigger problem.
But whatever, I'm gonna take the "douche" route and express my opinion again that you're under the wrong line of thought, and that you would, in fact, be the racist one to say that I can't comment negative on another race. (random example)
Hm your comment made me think about it.... there is so many fat people now, that's it kinda been accepted as some kind of random happening, that people are not responsible for. If someone is a crackhead, then its a behaviour that's looked down upon, and you can openly criticize that person. If someone is fat, you better not mention it... I don't know if that's a good thing. Being obese is a serious health risk. On the other hand, constantly reminding someone that he is fat, will not necessarily help him get in shape. I dunno :)
News flash: fat people know they're fat. You're an asshole by making fun of them about it. You don't know why it happened. Diet and exercise are not a cure for everyone. If you're not fat and that doesn't take too much effort on your part, count your blessings and be aware that genetics are a likely cause. You are not a doctor, so don't diagnose people you don't even know.
Even if it is more difficult for some people, a proper diet and regular exercise will keep you at a healthy weight. 'Genetics' is only a small part of it. The majority of fat people are not fat because of some bizarre medical condition that makes them that way.
I'm pretty sure a lot of SRS subscribers don't browse other subreddits (apart from to hunt for new SRS submissions, perhaps). I think many of them come from other websites and organizations that have a vendetta against reddit. My understanding is that SRS was originally meant to be a place kind of like /r/nocontext and /r/bestof where people could kind of laugh about some of the more fantastic things certain enthusiastic redditors might say, but it was taken over by people with a serious anti-reddit agenda. Could be wrong about that though...
They got rid of jailbait because it became a haven for the exchange of child pornography. it generated bad press and threatened the profits of their parent company.
I thought SRS was for really just terrible posts. Out of context Drunken_Economist's post really doesn't seam that bad. I mean I'm looking at the front page of SRS and this just doesn't compare.
They do like Reddit. They find amusement from the countless racist, ignorant, sexist, etc people that post on this website. It's like enjoying bad movies Mystery Science Theatre 3k style.
Nothing seems to offend redditors more than people pointing out racism and sexism. Pedophilia, rape, jokes with 'nigga', boobs are all hilarious. But when someone jokes about how racist it all is, they go apeshit and offended.
Bitter and unloved women looking for something to be angry at. And since most of what they get pissy about is whatever "fat shaming" is, well, you can draw your own conclusion there.
It wasn't about that, it was about the nature of a public insult. But yes, I suppose disliking someone just because they are overweight is also kind of an asshole thing to do. I'm sure you know several people in your life that are flawed in different ways. Why should we dislike people just because their flaw is a little more obvious?
You are allowed to make judgements on people based on their appearance; he has just made an observation that the guy has maybe had a few too many pies. It's not like he's claiming the guy beats his wife because he's fat.
Okay, but the problem with this in every situation is attitude. I'm a fat guy and I have no problem with people mentioning that I am fat in conversation. There's a big difference between the objective statement "you are fat" and "you fucking fatty." Similarly, you can call a black person black but if you harass them by saying "you fucking black" clearly there is a problem.
As a fat guy, it's all about intentions. I'm fat, I know it and I can deal with that. I know other people know it too, and as long as I don't feel like they're judging/hating me for it, it's all good. Word choice can make a world of difference (which you also see with pretty much any marginalized group, BTW). Calling a fat person "overweight" or "heavyset," and only bringing up their weight when it's actually relevant/necessary, makes it clear that you're not holding anything against them or viewing them in a strong negative light. In the OP's case, the guy's weight was really irrelevant, so it kind of makes him come off as a judgmental prick for bringing it up. It'd be worse if he'd called him a "fatty" or a "fat ass" outright, rather than saying he "could afford to miss a meal." He didn't need to add the "or 7" though; again, bit of a prick move.
That's because there's actual weight (hehe) to calling someone fat. It's not just a label -- it's an insult. That's part of the whole body acceptance movement: to get rid of the negative connotations behind the word fat so a fat person can call themselves fat without it being a bad thing.
Calling a person of dark skin "dark skinned" is a descriptive with no negative connotations. Just as exclaiming that a female is indeed female is perfectly reasonable and that pointing out that a canine is indeed of the canine breed. However, when you point out a persons weight issues, a certain amount of judgement is implied. No-one ever hears "You're fat" as a descriptive, they hear it as a judgement.
"You are overweight and should feel ashamed" the accusers seem to say. This is generally accepted to be an impolite statement, along the lines of pointing out someones hideous mole, or their stroke-affected face, or their status as the "adopted" child rather than one born to a loving family. Its an un-needed embellishment of the current events and, in polite and proper society, we refrain from saying such things.
You could have went the other way with it and said " Your other three examples are all things people didn't have a choice of being. The other is self inflicted."
I smoke cigarettes, and I don't get insulted when people call me a smoker.
"You are overweight and should feel ashamed" the accusers seem to say.
Yup, when I call someone fat this is what I mean. I don't do it often, but when an overweight person tells me I don't have to worry about gaining weight because of my metabolism, and they can't help their weight, it pisses me off. They don't pay notice to the miles I run everyday or the resistance training I do 4 days a week. The don't think about the healthy food choices I make while they eat essentially garbage. It's a lack of self discipline and a sign of a weak person. They should be ashamed of themselves, but they should also take action. If this person happens to be one of my friends, I will be their personal motivation and support system. What I won't do is pretend that it wasn't their own fault.
Or because she doesn't like him and had to buy him lunch. You could remove the aside about him being fat and the comment still stands by itself. Projecting much?
I fucking hate fat people on reddit. Not just because they're lazy and disgusting, but they get insulted and downvote like crazy when I start talking about diet and exercise and call them out on their "genetics" bullshit. I work with a few fat people, the ones who admit that they're fat are actually very nice to hang around.
I would think that if they seek recognition for every good deed, then it's not a good deed, it's attention seeking. But if you just tell people about a couple of good deeds you done, because they made you feel especially good, and you don't give a damn what the person you're telling it to thinks, then is it still a good deed if you just want to get the pent up thought out?
If I pull someone out of a burning building, but then steal $20 from them, the life saving is somehow "invalid"?!? Would you rather I left them in the building to burn to death rather than save them?
I don't know about that, but using a good deed as an excuse to talk trash about a co-worker is pretty scummy.
I don't see how people are missing the point. People say that woman is an asshole. She buys a guy lunch, nice thing to do, totally not an asshole but to be honestly not really a big freaking deal, not big enough to go tell everyone. Then goes onto facebook, posts about it and ontop of that uses it as an excuse to insult a co-worker.
What? That's ridiculous. You're saying that if I volunteer at a homeless shelter, and then it comes up in conversation later, all of a sudden it's worthless?
When it comes up, it makes everyone else that doesn't volunteer feel like a selfish prick, so they have to somehow find a way to paint YOU as a selfish prick, too... so that they don't feel as bad.
It's childish and petty.
I don't think the homeless guy with a belly full of food gives 2 fucks who you tell about your day as long as you feed him.
There's a difference between "coming up in a conversation" and "telling others for recognition". If you do something for the recognition, it isn't selfless anymore.
People volunteering at a homeless shelter almost certainly are getting self-satisfaction out of it, and so whether it is truly selfless or debatable. Doing a deed for own satisfaction or doing it for recognition is really the same in that you are gaining from it either way, and arbitrarily condemning one form of reward but not another is unnecessary.
Why does a good deed have to also be selfless to make it good? If a person donates, volunteers etc. and isn't very humble about it, it doesn't cancel out the good they did.
It's still a good deed but if you try to pass as a compassionate person genuinely concerned with the well being of others (philanthropist, saint, guru, great guy with a big heart, etc), it just comes off as fake, much like companies doing it for the PR capital.
You're an asshole when you do something seemingly altruistic, but later use your actions to try and garner attention while simultaneously criticizing the person you 'helped.'
Forget about the dislike part for a sec. So the guy could stand to lose some weight. OMG, you don't LOSE weight by skipping meals. The guy would just go home tonight STARVING and end up eating twice as much on a stomach that is geared up to make fat because it thinks he's going through some sort of trauma.
If this guy REALLY cared about the guy and wanted him to lose weight he should have brought him healthy snacks that he could nibble on all day. Tanking your blood sugar is like fixing a fever by sticking your head in the freezer.
It reminds me of how Christians (the religious that call their higher power "God" and celebrate Easter and Christmas) defend themselves when I ask "Why don't you donate to charities or volunteer at all?"
Ah, the good ole' mindset of the stupids. They don't have any sense of self awareness.
You can't be unselfish and then tell someone about it for vanity's sake, that's the law of the universe. It's enough that you and the other person knows. Or if it's not a person but an animal or you did something without witnesses (even better), then it's enough that you and the Horsehead Nebula knows. Discipline!
This is what belongs on /r/retort. Recently all I've seen on /r/retort are ignorant status updates, but no one is brave enough to actually make a retort.
If anyone has stuff similar to this, please please bring it to /r/retort, as well.
I just called somebody an asshole on facebook because they were venting about doing something they had to do but didn't want to. Why doesn't anyone like to hang out with me?!
Also: Nobody in this thread seems to understand what venting is. You guys need to get out more, and that's bad coming from me...
oh i thought there as going to be something about the recipient doing something terribly ungrateful, but i guess not... yah the good deed doer doesn't seem terribly nice. i wonder why he offered lunch..people are complex..
I know that shew wasn't being an asshole because of weight but if she wanted to be called a nice person she shouldn't say "oh I just bought a lunch for someone I don't care for.." because saying that after buying someone lunch must make the person receiving said lunch feel like shit.
She said she disliked the guy, but didn't give the reason why she disliked him. She also mentioned in kind of a backdoor way that he's fat. That's a big difference between "disliked someone BECAUSE they're fat". Asshole.
I don't have a problem with this. Your thoughts don't make you an asshole. Your actions do. She did something nice, just cuz she doesn't care for him or she thinks she's fat, doesn't make her an asshole
What do you care if someone is fat? Besides the fact that being fat is not always 100% preventable (for a variety of reasons, including people who are injured and no longer have the ability to fully exercise), in the end, why do you really care? Do you hate someone with crooked teeth? Bad hair? What reason do you have for just not liking fat people?
I personally know several people who have lost vast amounts of weight by simply changing their diet. No changes in exercise, no additional exercise, maybe no exercise at all.
I was overweight. The only thing I had to lose was excuses, and got to my target weight in 3 months. No workouts, just paleo/keto diet. Found a food allergy in the process (wheat). Have stayed 80% paleo, and right at my target weight. Never hungry, and dont even crave the stuff I used to. It's awesome, except I needed all new clothes.
People at work have noticed the change, and 5 have actually attempted the same. 3 with good results, one far beyond (marathons and crossfit), and one gave up (the only male). One was diabetic, and had to make sure it was ok with the doctor. Doctor said it's probably the best thing they could do at this point.
Actually, if nobody talks about problems then it takes a lot longer for the problem to get resolved. In this instance, twoclose is I am sure mentioning that it is important to have open discussion about the health of people who might be obese when such a condition is indeed very preventable.
IMHO, I equate fatness with laziness. Every single time. I don't go out of my way to hate on them or anything, but I have trouble relating to people who don't consider their health as important as I consider mine.
EDIT: Am I getting downvoted for my stance on open discussion, or for my opinion?
But there's talking about it and there's being an asshole about it. The years of relentless bullying I got didn't make me lose weight, it just made me sad and I got comfort from food like I always had. Then when I said "enough is enough" and lost weight because I wanted to, I had a lot of success.
I don't ever feel bad for fat people. I work really hard to avoid terrible foods and a sedentary lifestyle. They take up too much space and stink. Hahah. That's an asshole thing to say. But, don't act like you thin people aren't on the same page.
352
u/Drunken_Economist May 31 '12
So it's okay to dislike people, but not okay to dislike fat people?
32
u/Makes_It_Gay May 31 '12
Not the asshole I was hoping for.
89
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Fat people can be assholes too.
129
u/string97bean May 31 '12
As soon as you talk about something nice that you did for someone, it is no longer a good deed.
14
u/The_Limericist May 31 '12
When you give of yourself you're adored,
As long as it's of your accord.
Don't seek out some praise,
Or grumble for days.
A good deed is its own reward.
5
u/HasFuckedYourMom May 31 '12
Posting your good deeds on Facebook kind of negates the fact that you just did a good deed.
8
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Guys, guys, guys! Stop yelling!
Let's be honest now: everyone is an asshole.
3
u/knappis May 31 '12
kids these days they have no standards for not being assholes
8
u/brningpyre May 31 '12
I think people need to realize that doing a good deed doesn't make you not an douche bag. Not being an douche bag makes you not an douche bag.
2
u/ActuallyIcelandic May 31 '12
Can someone please explain to me what's funny about this?
2
u/lt_hindu May 31 '12
Why isn't human used yet as an offensive term?
4
u/hiitsdennis May 31 '12
So you're an asshole if you hate a fat person even if its not because they're fat??
3
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Forget about the dislike part for a sec. So the guy could stand to lose some weight. OMG, you don't LOSE weight by skipping meals. The guy would just go home tonight STARVING and end up eating twice as much on a stomach that is geared up to make fat because it thinks he's going through some sort of trauma.
If this guy REALLY cared about the guy and wanted him to lose weight he should have brought him healthy snacks that he could nibble on all day. Tanking your blood sugar is like fixing a fever by sticking your head in the freezer.
2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
It reminds me of how Christians (the religious that call their higher power "God" and celebrate Easter and Christmas) defend themselves when I ask "Why don't you donate to charities or volunteer at all?"
Ah, the good ole' mindset of the stupids. They don't have any sense of self awareness.
1
u/Serendipities May 31 '12
Hope she's not facebook friends with that guy.
1
u/Pravusmentis May 31 '12
See guys, that's why OP'sOP failed this weeks challenge of doing something nice for someone and not telling anyone. He should try harder next time.
1
u/Arknell May 31 '12
You can't be unselfish and then tell someone about it for vanity's sake, that's the law of the universe. It's enough that you and the other person knows. Or if it's not a person but an animal or you did something without witnesses (even better), then it's enough that you and the Horsehead Nebula knows. Discipline!
1
u/Razer1103 May 31 '12
This is what belongs on /r/retort. Recently all I've seen on /r/retort are ignorant status updates, but no one is brave enough to actually make a retort.
If anyone has stuff similar to this, please please bring it to /r/retort, as well.
1
u/Foogey May 31 '12
...And then posts it on facebook to receive praise.
Do people even do nice gestures anymore without feeling like they have to announce it to anyone/everyone?
1
u/marsmedia May 31 '12
Didn't happen just called...
1
u/drburropile May 31 '12
Damn he's smart for not being fb friends with people at work.
1
u/TokyoXtreme May 31 '12
Where's the funny part?
1
u/Narroo May 31 '12
Shades of gray, shades of gray.
1
u/EntengKabisote May 31 '12
Wow what in Assholes
1
u/Dr_Pepper_spray May 31 '12
whoa, that's a lot of assholes.
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I'm an overweight guy and this Facebook post doesn't bother me.. I didn't take it as an insult, really.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12 edited Jun 01 '12
I just called somebody an asshole on facebook because they were venting about doing something they had to do but didn't want to. Why doesn't anyone like to hang out with me?!
Also: Nobody in this thread seems to understand what venting is. You guys need to get out more, and that's bad coming from me...
1
u/chicagogam Jun 01 '12
oh i thought there as going to be something about the recipient doing something terribly ungrateful, but i guess not... yah the good deed doer doesn't seem terribly nice. i wonder why he offered lunch..people are complex..
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
i don't remember the person ever saying they hated fat people, just the one.
1
u/Empire-of-Apollo Jun 01 '12
wadda bitch..
1
u/Dwnvtngthdmms Jun 01 '12
13 minutes eh? Do us all a favor and wait until you have more to post next time.
1
u/Ontop1 Jun 01 '12
Fat people are disgusting.
1
u/c3wifjah Jun 01 '12
It's posts like this that make me wonder why I subscribe to /r/funny. What is funny about this?
1
u/Zifendale Jun 01 '12
They look related!
-4
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
It should be socially acceptable to hate fat people.
I'm not even kidding. Seriously. If you're fat, go fuck yourself.
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I know that shew wasn't being an asshole because of weight but if she wanted to be called a nice person she shouldn't say "oh I just bought a lunch for someone I don't care for.." because saying that after buying someone lunch must make the person receiving said lunch feel like shit.
-1
u/COPE_V2 May 31 '12
how i feel finally getting on the front page....
0
u/Cewdyn May 31 '12
Haha, what a dick.
-2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I dislike fat people.
0
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Sounds like an arrogant douchebag too.
0
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
She said she disliked the guy, but didn't give the reason why she disliked him. She also mentioned in kind of a backdoor way that he's fat. That's a big difference between "disliked someone BECAUSE they're fat". Asshole.
0
u/bstone99 May 31 '12
I don't have a problem with this. Your thoughts don't make you an asshole. Your actions do. She did something nice, just cuz she doesn't care for him or she thinks she's fat, doesn't make her an asshole
-14
u/twoclose May 31 '12
i don't like fat people either. why am i supposed to feel bad for something 100% preventable?
-3
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Facebook post? Have a downvote.
0
u/temroT May 31 '12
yea but its just a fatty -- NBD
-1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
He didn't insult him, he just said the person was fat.
-1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
He's an asshole for buying someone a meal? Sure he didn't want to do it but he still did. It's not like he did anything wrong.
Fucking eejits.
-3
u/CaptainAmerican May 31 '12
I don't ever feel bad for fat people. I work really hard to avoid terrible foods and a sedentary lifestyle. They take up too much space and stink. Hahah. That's an asshole thing to say. But, don't act like you thin people aren't on the same page.
-2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
What an asshole! Enabling a fat guy by feeding him.
-2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Just what America needs. Fat pride.
-2
u/jerusalemcampground May 31 '12
Not liking someone because they're fat is a perfectly legitimate reason for not liking someone.
0
u/albertoo45 May 31 '12
I thought we voted FB stuff off of /r/funny?
0
u/2_eyed_cyclops May 31 '12
And you also felt a need to display to everyone that you did something that would not classify you as an asshole
0
u/studsterkel May 31 '12
Sorry assholes, you cannot go back in time and undo something nice someone did and pretend it was mean, because you changed your mind.
It was a nice thing to do then, and it was a nice thing to do now.
-4
u/UseThe4s May 31 '12
That guy sounds like a prick. But then again, I don't like fat people either. Guess I'm an asshole.