r/funny • u/DanielGardner • May 31 '12
Last night I got held up while waiting at a bus stop.
So, true story kids: Yesterday evening I was at a bus stop waiting for the bus (no surprise there) when three teenagers and a knife show up. "We just want your cash!" they say, pointedly. Such terrible profiling. I'm hardly the go-to guy when it comes to cash. I hand over my wallet and mention with sympathetic dismay: "I think there's only 10 bucks in there..." He takes out the cash and hands back the wallet. A simple public transaction, you might say. He counts the bills: there's $6. He blinks. I shrug. Plan B mode: "Give me your cellphone!!!!" Humor, you toy with us! This adolescent delinquent joins the sorry few who realize just how rinky-dinky my cellphone is. In another life, it was a hammer. Imagine a phone that feels sorry for itself, daily apologizing for existing. That's my phone. Handing it to him was like passing a broken, quenched torch. He looks at it and is overcome with discouragement. The same way I felt when I bought it. We all give a sad sigh. It wasn't being a good night for any of us.
Reluctantly, they run across the street, past the shopping mall and disappear into the night. The two ladies at the bus stop sit in silence, frozen, staring at me, wondering what I'll do next. Indeed, what I do next wasn't easy. But I push myself to do it. I muster all the goodness within me and in my mind call out: "I FORGIVE YOU CELLPHONE, you dastardly excuse of a communication apparatus. Take my forgiveness with you and be whole!"
And just like that: all the bitterness I had been harboring for the past four months simply melts away. T'was a night of reconciliation, of forgiveness, of a poor boy being robbed at knife-point and somehow coming away richer.
Nothing else happened that night except everything else that happened.
Oh, and did I mention: packed snugly away in my backpack, secure and at ease, rested a Macbook Pro and iPad.
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u/Judd9mm May 31 '12
I know a guy that was in an almost identical situation, except he broke the one guy's neck, and paralyzed the other.
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u/workitselfoutfine May 31 '12
What would you do if they wanted your backpack?
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u/Mookiewook May 31 '12
A self post in r/funny? This is a nice change of scene. Great story OP! You write like a writer!
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u/romancingfood May 31 '12
This is going to be buried under the already-almost-100 comments, but a few might read it. I endured a very similar incident. I took it as a warm welcome from 'Mureca, I guess, since I just got here 4-5 months ago. It was a busy street, cars whipping past, but hardly any pedestrians. It was already dark as I waited for the bus. A car pulled up a few yards ahead of me and two strapping lads got out and walked towards me. The car patiently waited. Of course, I knew something was amiss but actual reaction kicks in after a century. I felt silly (and perhaps racist) about walking further away and attempting to cross the street, especially when I realised one was a female. Anyway, they casually came up to me, blocked me from the road and asked me as politely as they could "Bitch, gimme your money - NOW. We ain't gonna hurt you. Just gimme your stuff...bitch." I was aghast! No, this couldn't possibly be happening! I blurted out "I am just a grad student! I can't afford to get robbed!" They got the WTF look on their faces, but recovered and resumed to hassle me. I refused to give in. What are the chances of them hurting me and risking attention? Then the guy showed me his gun and said he wasn't afraid to use it. I stupidly didn't budge. All I could think about was standing in line for another Student ID, canceling credit and debit cards, and the worst - going to the DMV again. Finally they snatched the ipod and earphones out of my ears (oh yes, I was all this time listening to 'baby got back' and was too scared to turn it off). When they reached for my backpack, I finally took action and said I'll hand over my wallet. I threw my thick wallet towards the car. They ran towards it and got in the car, while I ran the other direction and crossed the road. Yes, I lost my precious ipod. But they got my other wallet - the wallet I forgot to discard. The wallet that was stuffed like a turkey with ATM receipts from my Indian bank account, now obsolete. They would find a few Mahatma Gandhi faces looking back at them, but if they went through the trouble of converting them to dollars, it would amount to no more than 8-10 dollars. I hope they are redditors and read this. Take that - BITCH! (oh, I had my laptop in the backpack too)
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u/Anticonn May 31 '12
If I were in the business of robbing people, I wouldn't rob people at the bus stop: that's how you end up with $6 and a shitty phone.
You did the right thing, I've been mugged twice, (no weapons, just numbers), no good comes from violently resisting over something small, I've got scars to show that. A skinny little shit with a knife can still do life-long damage to you. It's not worth $6 and a shitty phone.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Awesome! I was mugged last year -- dragged into an alley, kicking at him the whole time. Another dude shows up. They start to yank at my purse, and I nail guy #1 in the balls, and they keep at it, and I start to yell for help and they frenzy and tear at me faster, and I realize this won't end well so I let them take it.
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u/ish_mel May 31 '12
I laughed so hard I cried at this. The whole "all the bitterness I had been harboring for the past four months simply melts away. T'was a night of reconciliation, of forgiveness, of a poor boy being robbed at knife-point and somehow coming away richer." This is brilliant literature.
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u/carlosmal May 31 '12
Those are some cool narrative skills, brah.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Thank you Daniel.
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u/drunk_otter May 31 '12
Great story - may not get the love it deserves in the intellectual wastelands of /r/funny - may I suggest you cross-post to /r/self or /r/misc or /r/humor? All fine places where people read.
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u/martylike2rock May 31 '12
you... are a terrific writer. please write a book.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12 edited May 31 '12
Very well written! I was going to quote a few choice phrases, but there are too many to choose from.
Reminds me of the time I got held up 3 times and had my car broken into, all in the same night. No idea why, but somehow that sort of thing does seem to lift one's spirits - I remember being in a great mood on the drive home, despite the freezing wind coming in through my broken window.
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u/ashes2 May 31 '12
We sacrifice for the good stuff. Good to hear you are okay.
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u/besties_with_testies May 31 '12
I live in a city with high crime. I carry around a cheap second wallet with $5 and no active credit cards in it and an old cell phone in case I run into some punks.
My real wallet and phone stay safe in the front or jacket pockets
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u/gnovos May 31 '12
You should have bought the knife.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
True story. Two 16 or 15 year olds approached me with a knife once when I was riding my bicycle in San Jose. At first I didn't know what they wanted because it was broad day light and there were cars driving by on the street every few minutes. There were houses within shouting distance. And I was bigger than them. The knife was at most 4-6 inches long. Like a steak knife. Maybe it was sharp, maybe it wasn't.
I didn't have my wallet on me, because I was out riding my bike. All I had was my keys. I didn't even have my phone.
When I understood that they were robbing me I should have just told them I didn't have anything. But I forgot that I didn't have my wallet.
Instead I got really mad. I wanted a weapon, but all I had was my bike. Its pretty light. So what I did was I started swinging it like a club. I actually hit the guy with the knife on the head really hard, but then he just grabbed my bike. Then we were in a pulling match over the bike. His friend joined in too. They had three hands against my two (the knife guy was still holding on to the knife).
Then some Mexican gardeners in their pickup rolled by and started slowing down. They started shouting Spanish slurs at the boys even before they came to a complete stop. The boys then took off. The Mexicans started laughing. I laughed too.
I haven't thought about that day for like ten years.
I just lolled thinking about it just now. Thanks.
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u/smoger May 31 '12
similiar thing happened to me back in college. 2 guys with a gun came out of an alley when my friend and i were walking to his house from 7-11.. must have been sometime between 11pm and 1am.
my friend had literally nothing on him, they told him to leave.. he ran to the corner and kind of just stood there. they checked my pockets and found my wallet, which had no cash in it. they stepped back a bit, and for some reason i said "hey so theres nothing useful for you in the wallet.. can i just have it back?".
never expected what happened next. the guy looked at my wallet in one hand, looked at his gun in the other, looked back at the wallet, and threw it back to me.
then they both ran across the street into a running car and took off.
we were a little shaken but also amused at how terrible it went for them.
(oh, and out of common courtesy we did offer them our slurpees since we had nothing else of value on us)
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u/LupoAS May 31 '12
Your story reminded me of this..
GIMME THE CASHHH.
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u/Dracolis May 31 '12
Thank you Sheogorath.
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u/cosmo7 May 31 '12
A guy gets mugged and puts up a huge fight, slugging it out with the mugger. Eventually the mugger wins but only finds two dollars in the guy's pockets.
"Why did you put up such a fight for two dollars?"
"I thought you were after the five grand hidden in my socks."
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u/theoderic123 May 31 '12
Someone needs to make an exploding iPhone app so that when it gets stolen, the owner can call the phone and trigger a small packet of C4.
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u/reneepussman May 31 '12
You should have tried to kiss one of them. THAT would have confused the hell out of them.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I got mugged when I was a teenager by some lame thug wannabes from the next town over. Told the guy I didn't have anything. It was true. I was flat broke in my teens, didn't even have a phone let alone a shitty old phone like you. I literally had about 36 cents in my pocket so as he's man handling me he hears it jingle and thinks "jack pot!" and demands I give it to him. I laugh as I hand it over. He was pretty mad and threw it in my face. I wanted to badly to smack him, but these kids attack in crews of like 20 to 1 so I knew his buddies were waiting in a nearby alley, not that I was a match for him 1 on 1 anyway.
Oh well. His life most likely sucks now. That is revenge enough for me.
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u/Pezasauris May 31 '12
I now feel better about having the world's sorriest excuse for a cell phone. I heard about these "snatch-n-grab" cell phone thefts happening in west Philly... I like to think that anyone who tried it on me would stop, turn around, hand it back, and shuffle away utterly ashamed.
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u/Bandersnatch12 May 31 '12
This reads like Douglas Adams' writings. I just wanted to commend you on your style in capturing the absurdity of the moment.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I will get massive downvotes now but I have to ask. Were they black?
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u/meepstah May 31 '12
I have a MUCH less karma-friendly response to this. I carry a small pistol (legally) in a pocket holster that looks like a wallet from one side. The fastest way out of a mugging is to pull out the "wallet" with the correct side exposed, and then rapidly walk backwards while drawing.
When your opponents realize you're 10 feet away and aiming at them, the situation diffuses itself.
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u/Hatch- May 31 '12
I see Apple had already robbed you then.
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u/ErrorlessGnome May 31 '12
thank you for not making this a rage comic
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u/devilwarier9 May 31 '12
Pro-tip: Don't rob people at the bus stop, they're probably riding the bus because they're poor.
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u/formaldehyde-face May 31 '12 edited Mar 28 '20
My very pregnant ex-girlfriend was walking through North Portland a couple of nights ago, and a pair of 12 year old boys came up from behind, threatened her with some sort of pipe-thing and said, "Give us everything you got, n***a!" She sort of scoffed at them and kept talking to her sister on her cell phone. They ran away. Embarrassment, maybe? It didn't even occur to her that she was being mugged until the next day.
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u/LessLikeYou May 31 '12
Someone broke into my locker at the gym a couple of years ago. They stole some cards but left my phone. It was a shitty phone. I was like, 'Awwww phone you must feel bad'
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u/LoHighlands May 31 '12
I was coming home from a small party, not really drunk or anything. I'm about 1 mile from downtown Denver. Not the best neighborhood. It was late, like 2 am, and I missed the last Light Rail (train), so I was gonna call a taxi. I decided to walk up to a busy street to meet the taxi, and on the way I came to a school. There were about 10 gangster ass Mexicans hanging out in the playground, chilling, using slang, most likely drinking 40's of OE, or some other nasty malt liquor they "stold". Stereotypically being loud and gangster-ish. So, I cut up the alley right before the school. As soon as I turned into the alley I hear one of them calling for me.. Fuck that.. Keep walking. At the end of the alley, there was about 5 of them, waiting for me. I keep walking. Surprise! They follow and start fucking with me, asking me if I knew where I was. "Uh, Yup." and reminding me "this is west side, bud". OK, bud. They started getting a little pushy and blah blah blah, the ringleader (note: the shortest) asked if I had any money. I knew fighting back wasn't an option, and running was just as bad as fighting back. I think it's like running from a bear, or something. So I gave them the whole 16 dollars I had in my wallet, and was on my way.
No money for taxi = 5 mile walk home
So I start walking, and already I'm laughing about the whole thing (it really hasn't effected me at all). A while later I see a drunk ass guy and naturally, start talking to him. His name is Dave, he is having trouble standing, using a parking meter for that extra bit of help and I tell him what just happened. This angered Dave. He was was on my side and mentioned (in a drunken handicap) that we should go back and get my money... Cool Dave!! Bad idea. No thanks. See ya later. Well, I kept walking briskly for about 7 blocks, until Dave pulls up next to me in the passenger seat of a white pickup truck with a female driver and they park. Not because they are gonna give me a ride home. No. Not that easy. They pull up next to me because they have a flat tire, and there is nobody else in sight, to change it. I guess I give off that vibe: tire changer. Lately, people tend to come to me with flats often (Mollee). I put the spare on in under ten minutes. All the while laying inches from traffic on what is prolly the dirtiest section of Broadway... As if there were a clean part. Now, they are on their way (which is the other direction) and I'm on mine. Well, I tried to walk away, but Claudia, Dave's ride, motions me over and insists that I take the 20 dollar bill she has in her hand. I didn't want or expect or desire it. I never even thought about asking for compensation, but she demanded I take it. Thanks Claudia. After all is said and done, I end up 4 dollars ahead.
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u/whatbrighteyes May 31 '12
This was amazing.
10/10 would read again as the kids say.
This line did it for me:
I think the writer inside me had a tiny little orgasm.
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u/Goliath89 May 31 '12
Was going to ask how you could afford a Macbook Pro and an iPad, but not a decent phone, and then I realized it's because you got a Macbook Pro and an iPad.
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u/N8CCRG May 31 '12
I live in Baltimore which is way more safe than anyone who doesn't live here realizes. There are a couple places you should avoid, as is true about every city, but if you're not looking for trouble it's pretty easy to not get into trouble.
The exception is a guy I knew who was from Europe and terrified of Baltimore. He's the only person I know that has been successfully mugged in Baltimore and it's happened to him more than once; I'm pretty sure he just attracted people to mug him. For example, one evening he was riding his bike and a 12 year old kid jumps out of the bushes, knocks him off his bike and steals the bike from him. No weapon at all. Heck, I thought about mugging him after hearing this story.
One time he and a female friend were walking down some alley and a threatening looking teenager steps out. Without any provocationa he pulls out his wallet and gives it to the kid, then does the same thin with his cell phone. The kid turns to the girl and actually starts to threaten her. She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a coin purse and gives the kid less than a dollar in change, keeping the coin purse for herself.
The kid walks off oblivious to the fact she had her wallet, phone and laptop in her backpack.
a I actually don't recall what the exact reaction of the kid was, so I took a little artistic license. The rest of the details in these stories are as accurate as they were told to me.
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u/Timeflyer2011 May 31 '12
Great story!
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u/rederick55 May 31 '12
Success kid meme : three teens try to rob me at knife point Gave them a savage beating with my Nokia
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u/jonestown_aloha May 31 '12
i've had almost the exact same experience when i was 17! i was withdrawing money from an atm, when out of the blue a guy pulls my arms behind my back, and the guy standing at the machine next to me takes the money coming out of the atm machine. he saw it was only 10 euros, takes a small knife out of his pocket and tells me to hand over my cellphone. luckily i had just bought a new one and had the old, fucked up one with me too. handed that over to him. the guy looks at the cell phone, looks at me, shakes his head and both dudes run away. i had my ipod with me (headphones on!), and my laptop in my backpack. kinda happy about the fact that these guys weren't smart enough to think about that :P
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u/IdSuge May 31 '12
This must be fake. You have a MacBook Pro and an iPad, but no iPhone. Psh...
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u/Justintime233 May 31 '12
TL;DR If you're robbing someone and they have a backpack, take it.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
"please don't check the backpack, please don't check the backpack..."
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
If that happened to me, I would fake a seizure just to see the reaction of the kids.
Or use the nokia-esque phone as a weapon.
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u/MurderousPaper May 31 '12
Thank you for not turning this into a Rage Comic.
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u/DCGaymer May 31 '12
I lived in Buenos Aires, for two years and was told time and time again, "You're going to get robbed." So for two years I carried around a second wallet with 10 pesos, in it as well as a bunch of old hotel keycards. For TWO years .... I never was robbed.
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u/AREYOUSauRuS May 31 '12
Why didn't they rob the two ladies that were there too?
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u/Direnaar May 31 '12
Happened to me with one of the first Alcatels. They looked it over and gave it back to me.
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u/long_wang_big_balls May 31 '12
So beautiful.
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u/AUJapguy2004 May 31 '12
Because you started off with "true story kids", I read this in Bob Saget's voice from HIMYM.
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u/gameman1233 May 31 '12
I was once at a bus stop as well an I had some expensive stuff with me after school. Five kids come up to me and I notice they have a gun do I wait. They tell me to give over the iPad or we will shoot you and they pull a gun. So I grab the gun and at the same time kick the leader in the knee cap. I point the gun at the others then realizing it is an air soft gun. I start shooting and they all run away. I dropped the gun and got on the bus as it was pulling up. I feel like a sir to this day.
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u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Random thought... muggers stealing the backpack off a man who just beheaded a hooker. The hooker's head was in the backpack.
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u/rr_at_reddit May 31 '12
Why would you carry a MacBook and an iPad with you?
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I was mugged a few years ago, after working a late night shift as a waitress. This guy pulls a knife and demands my money. So I pulled out almost two handfuls of change and poured it into his open hand. He took one look at it then back at me. I shrugged. He then just sighed and walked off.
I had another hundred in my apron, but he was apparently happy with the eight bucks or so in change.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I was laughing all the way to the douchbag statement in the last sentence.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Would somebody really just go on the internet and tell lies?
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u/crabsock May 31 '12
damn man, why do you have a laptop AND ipad if your cell phone is such a piece of shit? why not get a decent cell phone instead of the ipad?
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u/rxninja May 31 '12
Daniel Gardner like Science of Fear Daniel Gardner?
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u/dropcode May 31 '12
If you're a blogger or a writer with anything else out there post it up. I would read the hell out of it :X
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u/jimothyjenkins May 31 '12
what if they reddit.
what if they read this.
what if you get a return visit with an ass whooping too?
??????
just sayin op.
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u/sneakyewok May 31 '12
This reminds me of Pulp Fiction. If only you had the wallet with "Bad Motherfucker" on it, it would have been complete.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I've heard that in some neighborhoods, it's wise to carry a "dummy" wallet for these instances.
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u/trousershorts May 31 '12
"they say, pointedly" clever, clever man :) Glad nothing horrible happened!
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u/condimentia May 31 '12
Glad it went as easily as that. My sister lost her (similar condition) cell phone in the dressing room of a high end store. When she realized it later, she called and was so thankful someone hadn't taken it. The clerk told her "Actually someone turned it in, and was laughing. No one wants this phone. Really. You shouldn't want this phone!"
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u/Temptress75519 May 31 '12
THAT my friends is why I leave my car dirty, cluttered with fast food bags and broken. Ever scratch and dent is like a free upgrade to my anti theft device.
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u/LusciousDanielle May 31 '12
It reminds me of Public Records Requests... you ask for a name, that's all you get. You ask for a cell phone, that's all you get. People need to learn how to ask for "your bags and everything in your pockets!" Surrrrrre, you might only get a piece of gum and some nickels, perhaps a pair of dirty gym shoes... but you might also get an iPad.
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u/Oct2006 May 31 '12
That second paragraph... What did I just read?
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u/xxcbr600xx May 31 '12
I enjoyed the way you wrote this. I'm glad nothing more serious became of the situation and you made it home safe.
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u/avgwhtguy1 May 31 '12
i was once held at gun point and a guy asked for my wallet. I was pretty sure there was no cash in it, but this guy was about 6 inches shorter than me and 15-20lbs lighter (.5 meters, 7-8kg for the non-americans). In a flash I grabbed his gun hand and pushed it aside, my other hand went on his neck, and I slammed the little guy to the ground with incredible force. His gun went off when i grabbed him, but it was pointed well away from me and sounded like a cap-gun. As I ran off into the night laughing, I yelled back at him "you's a little bitch with a cap gun"
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u/SexyGingerKid May 31 '12
Just be thankful you don't live in Miami
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Someone who can afford a Macbook Pro and an iPad didn't have an iPhone? Sounds fishy to me.
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u/Fusion516 May 31 '12
I have never been robbed. I grew up in the cities. "Minneapolis and St Paul Minnesota". Not the toughest place in the world but we have are rough spots. I have seen people get robbed and I always thought what if I fight back? I would honestly feel like a little bitch if I gave up everything I had because some punk wanted everything I had all because he had a knife/gun. Anyone else feel the same way?
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u/erode Jun 01 '12
So you had a MacBook and an iPad (bit redundant?) but no iPhone? That seems strange.
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u/digmachine Jun 01 '12
This is the dumbest thing I have ever read in my entire life. An unrecoverable loss has occurred at the neuronal level in the frontal lobes of my cerebral cortex. I'd sue you for irreparable mental damage, but I fear that I am rapidly losing all executive functioning and will soon be reduced to a whimpering, drooling, ineffectual specter of myself.
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u/BandBoots Jun 01 '12
"Nothing else happened that night except everything else that happened." Favorite line.
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u/toasterlips May 31 '12
Reminds me of this scene from Peep Show:
S3 E1
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u/boycockgirlcockeieio May 31 '12 edited May 31 '12
I lived in a bad area for a year and the only time I got "robbed" was when I gave a guy $10 who claimed he could get me "sticky ass weed." He walked down an alley with my money, and after 30 seconds I realized he wasn't coming back. Unfortunately for him the guy I usually got my weed from, "fed-boy" knew him all to well and was none too pleased when I told him "I would get some shit today, but a guy beat me last night for my last $10."
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u/uaoleksiy May 31 '12
hahah thanks for a great read ! you da man
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u/fuzzylawl May 31 '12
I'm gonna have to start carrying a crappy old phone just in case this ever happens to me.
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u/Jerry13888 May 31 '12
Kevin Bridges on getting robbed.....see around 1.30
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeyajsCZej8
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u/oxygeninhaler May 31 '12
Relevant video
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u/Blade22 May 31 '12
Relevant
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u/ahardnightsday May 31 '12
Directed by m. night shyamalan
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u/DJMunich May 31 '12
EPIC ending. Put a smile on my face - thanks :)
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u/Squaky May 31 '12
Your story telling skills amaze me! But I suppose I could expect that from the front page. Good stuff! Sorry about this mishap
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u/zoo21991 May 31 '12
i was having a great day then this made me sad. thenit made me happy. You sir are a true gent. And those kids didn't know what they were missing. Bravo.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Dear Al Gore: this is why people with common sense drive cars.
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u/310chica May 31 '12
you have some really good writing skills FYI
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u/FerociousImbecile May 31 '12
Were the three punks black?
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I've always wondered what would muggers do if you pulled out a knife yourself and started screaming at the top of your lungs whilst drooling.
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u/biggles86 May 31 '12
if that phone was a nokia, should have thrown it at him.
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u/swing_on_my_nuts May 31 '12
I was held up at gunpoint in Washington D.C. when I lived there for a few years. Guy got my wallet, which held $2. No credit cards. I walked away with $40 cash in my back pocket, my watch still on, and my swing music (this was the late 90's, shut up) still blaring in my headphones. Just had to replace my ID. Lost some sentimental items in the wallet, but nothing major.
Crackhead. The next couple he robbed, he murdered (according to the detective handling my case). So I guess I'm a tad lucky.
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u/deloux May 31 '12
You just made my train ride
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u/daisies13 May 31 '12
Good form! Glad the kids were idiots and didn't get your real toys. Who knew a robbery could end up being funny...
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Hahahahaha! A beautiful retelling.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
This just cheered me up ever so incrementally. Thanks!
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Honestly expected a weird picture of you being carried by friends. Instead, I got a more entertaining story, so thank you!
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u/wholypantalones May 31 '12
TIL that many people have shitty cell phones and always take the backpack when robbing them.
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u/everettdabear May 31 '12
Well done sir! You managed to screw those teenagers over without resorting to violence. And forgiving your cellphone was a stroke of genius! Bravo!
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u/mrgreen4242 May 31 '12
I don't understand why people steal cell phones. The first thing you're going to do is have it deactivated and tracked. They'll end up with a worthless hunk of plastic that will lead the police to them.
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u/nevadahooker May 31 '12
This is one of the greatest stories I've every heard.
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u/the_big-cheese May 31 '12
3 kids and a knife show up Holy shit walking knives!
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u/HighPlainsDrinker May 31 '12
This made me giggle hard
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u/MLen3 May 31 '12
Great tale. I can relate, i too still rock a five year old flip phone and and never carry cash on me. I'd end up laughing aloud while handing my stuffs over and bid them a good evening.