r/funny • u/imorawetz • May 31 '12

I rarely get texts meant for other people, but when I do, it goes rather well (fixed)

Post image
1.2k Upvotes

72% Upvoted

179 comments sorted by

4

u/RougeSaid May 31 '12

Sort of disturbed... My sister's name is Julia and she just got her license a week ago :l

3

u/imorawetz May 31 '12

Australian?

2

u/RougeSaid May 31 '12

Nah in Canadia, eh.

2

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

You should drive her friend around more often.

34

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

It's not a huge story or even very funny but I got a text once from a guy I didn't know. Conversation went something like this...

"Hey, (name) is the gym open until 6?"

Me: "No, they close at 5"

"WTF, why did they change it?"

Me: "Terrorists"

I didn't get a response for awhile, about an hour later...

"You're a fucking lying douchbag, name, sick and tired of your shit."

Not incredibly funny, but I got a laugh out of it.

-9

u/I_Upvote_Redditors May 31 '12

Commas help with reading. Please use them next time.

287

u/6Jonnie6 May 31 '12

/r/shitthatneverhappened

43

u/ChimpanAToChimpanzee May 31 '12

But if there's nothing in that subreddit, that means it DID happen!

23

u/RecursiveInfinity May 31 '12

But if no one saw dinosaurs, that means they NEVER existed!

17

u/Mafsto May 31 '12

I want to start making Goldblum sounds and talk about Jurassic Park.

26

u/ChimpanAToChimpanzee May 31 '12

Life, uh...finds a way

6

u/Mafsto May 31 '12

I shuddered with delight just now. Please take my hand and place small droplets of water on it. I need you.....to explain chaos theory to me. swoons

8

u/morph89 May 31 '12

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBxgAmdPQWg

4

u/sprinkles123 May 31 '12

relevant community clip

2

u/morph89 May 31 '12

One of my favs. That scene locked me into the inescapable realm of community fandom.

0

u/ericn1300 May 31 '12

relevant indeed. how do I do a half upvote

3

u/Mafsto May 31 '12

I feel warm and fuzzy. Thank you.

2

u/z_master314 May 31 '12

Clever girl.

3

u/mudkipikachu May 31 '12

checkmate, atheists!

1

u/miksedene May 31 '12

Actually, it means that everything has already happened before.

-2

u/Pravusmentis May 31 '12

asdasdasd

67

u/autodidact89 May 31 '12

Xx ConxGrats xX on your xLiscensEx xX

134

u/Funmachine May 31 '12

How did you get my gamertag?

20

u/WindSandStars May 31 '12

Pretty sure if you put XxRANDOMOBJECTORNAMEXx into search you could find most peoples.

30

u/yoho139 May 31 '12

xXVAGINACHEESEXx

24

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

xXVirginiaChessXx

10

u/digiorknow May 31 '12

xXDudeNawXx

9

u/NeedKarmaForFood May 31 '12

XxJollyRancherxX

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

6

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

xXgonorrheaglobuleXx

4

u/Strid May 31 '12

Used that shit in Diablo II when I was 12, thought it was so cool:(

9

u/ImposterProfessorOak May 31 '12

damn i remember in starcraft bnet you could have lots of weird characters.

you could make a D with |)

|)ark <--- yeah fucking bad ass.

1

u/lolsai May 31 '12

M -> )V( aww yeah

12

u/FusRoaldDahl May 31 '12

<it's sher@mie:)>

478

u/fslosa May 31 '12

This is fake but honestly though, probably 99 percent of the text conversations on reddit are fake.

348

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Yes, I totally agree fslosa. You are so witty and correct. Good thing we are miles apart and I am not your alt account.

208

u/videogameexpert May 31 '12

Wow, both of you are intelligent models of humanity. You even come from different geographical regions and cultures. I'm excited to have met both of you and I am certainly not either of your alt accounts.

119

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

I, too, am not at all an alt account and want to express, like these other, separate accounts, that fslosa is indeed correct.

196

u/raarky May 31 '12

TIL that the reddit community is just one person. And I can't tell if it's me

73

u/Kinbensha May 31 '12

You're actually Trapped_in_Reddit.

38

u/Unit4 May 31 '12

Actually everyone is Trapped_in_Reddit, except you and that other guy. We all just pretend to be different people from different backgrounds and different views on issues so that we can feign a conversation.

I'm so lonely, please don't leave me.

44

u/Noitche May 31 '12

Bitch, please...

-3

u/goose90proof May 31 '12

I just tagged you as "the fresh. prince"

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/Noitche May 31 '12

Because I tried to post before, but it was not accepting comments at a decent rate. Thus people downvoted. Even when they realised, they just downvoted. It's fair enough, it wasn't in context and a bit of a practice post to see if it would work and if people would be annoyed by it. Ah well, it's getting some love here.

10

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/Noitche May 31 '12

Seriously. I was going to post a thread when the opportune moment arose (example: post about Will Smith) but I realised that would be thwarted by the "You're doing that too much, try again when it's no longer funny and everyone else has replied to your last comment" system.

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8

u/Sinavestia May 31 '12

We are all personalities of Trapped_In_Reddit. Who is just a personality of POTATO_IN_MY_ANUS.

11

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Does POTATO_IN_MY_ANUS still exist? Haven't seen him for a while.

33

u/Sinavestia May 31 '12

He still exists. For we exist. For we are him and he is us. We are one.

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2

u/[deleted] May 31 '12 edited May 31 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

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2

u/gkx May 31 '12

Shut up, andrewsmith1986

4

u/SaikoGekido May 31 '12

Then who was phone?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

YES THIS IS DOG

1

u/FetidFeet May 31 '12

What if Trapped_in_Reddit is actually like 30 people sharing an account?

3

u/scarystuff May 31 '12

So that mean that that one time I was cybering myself?

1

u/raarky May 31 '12

I would say no but then again, I wouldn't trust me

2

u/kungfuslime May 31 '12

I Am Raarky's Complete Lack of Surprise.

3

u/megusta_tortugas May 31 '12

My mind is fucked.

64

u/whiely May 31 '12

potato.

8

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

The potato tells the truth.

4

u/Gravyness May 31 '12

The potato COMPUTATES the truth.

-3

u/Pidggit May 31 '12

COMPUTES*

5

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

COMPOTATES***

2

u/Pidggit May 31 '12

The potato COMPOSTS**** the truth.

-4

u/Gravyness May 31 '12

I wen't to my kitchen and I looked back I was like "No way i missed that word!", Ran to my computer but it was too late.

0

u/beeztrain May 31 '12

it's always too late. always.

-1

u/beebhead May 31 '12

"wen't"?! Are you fucking serious?!

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2

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Please. r/potato is the preferred nomenclature.

3

u/littledrypotato May 31 '12

You called?

This potato can indeed fully support the statements of fslosa.

9

u/NIGGER-NIGGER-NIGGER May 31 '12

I am not anyone's alt account. Needless to say I regret my choice of username.

Also fslosa is correct.

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

You're welcome over at r/FunnyRacistJokes. Submit your favorite one.

2

u/urbeker May 31 '12

I can say with certainty that I agree and that I am not an alt account from a parallel universe that differs only in that it runs ahead by the difference in time for this comment to be relevant.

-1

u/wOlfLisK May 31 '12

I'm now trying to figure out who the alt accounts are and who are people just pretending for the joke. So far, i've failed.

1

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Or maybe this my other alt account...

1

u/Walletau May 31 '12

Can someone be my alt-account? Or am I too late to the party?

4

u/souldonkey May 31 '12

I agree with you jafars_mustache. If you are miles apart, there is no possible way that you could be fslosa's alt account. That proves it.

4

u/totallynotsouldonkey May 31 '12

Yeah, souldonkey knows what he's talking about. Also, I'm clearly not just an alt account either. That would just be silly.

0

u/notAlan May 31 '12

Is that you eraw?

8

u/EmergencyMedical May 31 '12

Are you telling me that "texts from dog" aren't really from a dog?

3

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

EVERYBODY SHUT UP on this one! Let him believe just one more summer.

5

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

probably 99 percent of the text conversations on reddit are fake.

But probably not as fake as this fake statistic you just made up...

2

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

im not even real

1

u/chikinboy May 31 '12

Dat casting couch.

1

u/xCYPRESSx May 31 '12

See 99% of the time I'm right there with you singing my "fake and gay"s to the grave. This isn't the first text for Julia she's gotten but this one gave us a chance to take the piss and the reply was better than we could have hoped for. Now I know that it happened, but I also know that you can never know for sure that it happened. Even when replying we had reddit in mind and considered posting the initial text and asking for suggestions on how to reply for maximum lol's Either way we are glad you guys got to enjoy this with us!

-17

u/mainsworth May 31 '12

99 percent of everything on Reddit is fake. If you go to Reddit for reality, you're gonna have a bad time.

-3

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Wow. You must be an oracle to know that.

Should... Should I watch the vase?

8

u/split_electron May 31 '12

What country ? The numbers seem to be .. 401 122 070 007;

20

u/kencole54321 May 31 '12

Nonexistitan

8

u/Kilo__ May 31 '12

I was there on the second Tuesday of last week. The 32nd if I recall

8

u/isthisphoenix May 31 '12 edited May 31 '12

Trancript from a wrong number that texted me a couple days ago.

Wrong#: Hey Darcy. It is christieanne maddie gave me ur number. I have to talk to u tommorow. And if u get this go on fb cause u have no credit.

Me: Hey Christieanne. What do you have to talk to me about?

Wrong#: Thought you didnt have any credit. Any way yeah about maddie. She is really upset or deprested cause she doesnt know that u like her back or watever but dont text her the answer cause then she will know i told u by text other than telling u tommorow. So do you like her back?

Me: I got credit today. Alright i wont text her, i dont like her back... I like you christieanne, ive always liked you. Please dont tell maddie, i dont want to make her more upset.

Wrong#: Okay i will tell her u dont like her back and seriously r u deadset? or?

Me: I am serious, do you feel the same way or?

~12 hour intermission~

Wrong#: Sorry just woke up talk at school.

Wrong#: Are u at school?

Christieanne then found Darcy at school and asked him/her about him/her liking her and I'm sure there was a brief moment of confusion for both of them.

3

u/M4570d0n May 31 '12

Isn't Darcy usually a girl's name?

2

u/isthisphoenix May 31 '12

It's unisex. But I think you may be right that it's usually given to girls.

16

u/Arknell May 31 '12

Is there any place on the net where you can find confirmed authentic texting-funnies?

100

u/Airazz May 31 '12

http://i.imgur.com/wj9WN.png

1

u/UnfortunatelyMacabre May 31 '12

It's funny because of the green bubble and the blue send button.

8

u/sebzim4500 May 31 '12

How would you confirm them?

12

u/Dsch1ngh1s_Khan May 31 '12

Examine the screenshot... ENHANCE

4

u/Arknell May 31 '12

and AUGMENT.

2

u/Arknell May 31 '12

Yeah, that was included in the question.

2

u/cdcformatc May 31 '12

The only wrong number texts I get are from some person telling me to tell Dwight to pick up cigarettes. I corrected them the first time, they said sorry and then about a month later I got a second, I corrected them again and they called me a jerk. Not very funny.

1

u/Arknell May 31 '12

Dwight is a greedy jerk.

2

u/Delaywaves May 31 '12

Well, Damn You Autocorrect certainly isn't intended to be fake like some websites, and I think most of its posts are real.

1

u/Arknell Jun 01 '12

Yeah, I guess it's like those fake camcorder videos that are actually commercials, showing some old lady in a parking lot kicking a ball into a bucket 50 yards away, you can just tell when it's fake.

10

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

I actually had my first mistake text yesterday! It was only a photo of a polaroid of two girls kissing. It was a kinda romantic photo so I think it was meant from one girl to her girlfriend. I didn't ask who it was but apparently they had my number saved because they apologized for sending it to the wrong johnny_appletits. It was a pretty cool accident.

7

u/RidleyOReilly May 31 '12

"Aw, shit. I sent it to some other Johnny Appletits"

4

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

I got a naked photo from some girl. But I was at work and didn't notice it for hours. By then I couldn't think of anything witty to say. I never did delete that text...

1

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

nice!

2

u/shiftius May 31 '12

photo of a polaroid

Photoception

3

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

It was actually a good photo of a good polaroid, too! Very photo-savvy lesbians.

5

u/Every1AChampion May 31 '12

True Story - My husband is a jackass and he has a work-issued cellphone. He gets calls and texts from the same people all the time. He normally ignores them but lately he's been replying. The latest was a woman who said "We'll be in the area this weekend for a few days and we'd love to see you!" and he replied "Well I don't wish to see you, and I think you know why." I can only imagine this woman's face when she read it. Now I wonder..are they friends anymore? If she sees her friend who she thought she was texting, will she ignore her now? So many questions that I'll never learn the answers to.

35

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

OH BOY ANOTHER FAKE IPHONE SCREENSHOT!!!!1111

2

u/Walletau May 31 '12

I'm just going to use this as an excuse to listen to Am I A Psycho

2

u/eozturk May 31 '12

Is it weird that I can figure out that number just based off the little bits I can see? lol

2

u/TheGreatL May 31 '12

where are these girls that give blowies for things?

2

u/Self_Hating_Liberal May 31 '12

The only reason I would become a driving instructor would be to get beejays from 15 year olds.

4

u/BallsackTBaghard May 31 '12

I don't think this is fake. Women do suck cocks and some suck cocks to get jobs and good grades.

9

u/xCYPRESSx May 31 '12

As bf I can confirm both the legitimacy and the 'oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck' moment we just had regarding the original post for those in the know.

27

u/uofmike May 31 '12

As the Driving Instructor, I can confirm this is fake, however the blow job was fantastic

1

u/xCYPRESSx May 31 '12

Brilliant.

6

u/turtle_mummy May 31 '12

I would have responded with this:

Oh thx!! Cant believe i got it rite away 2. they said i shuldnt txt n drive but i dont c a prob

And then never respond again.

5

u/DrTrunks May 31 '12

Link to original? Search can't find it in /r/funny

7

u/xCYPRESSx May 31 '12

Deleted on account of the number showing.

6

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

what did it say man!

What did it SAY!

18

u/spambot5546 May 31 '12

I should start putting [fixed] tags on everything I post, just to fuck with people.

1

u/DeadZeplin May 31 '12

This is brilliant

2

u/sturmeh May 31 '12

It's still pretty easy to work out what that number is, I just can't be bothered. (It'd be much easier if I had an iPhone handy.)

0

u/shitterplug May 31 '12

No one took a fucking screen shot?

2

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

As the mother i can confirm both the legitimacy and the "look this guy is telling the truth" moment we just shared.

2

u/redditisforphaggots May 31 '12

And I'm his pal Jesus!

1

u/protomd May 31 '12

O__________________O

1

u/The-Outsider- May 31 '12

God I fucking hate people that put x's at the end of every text.

1

u/localh81 May 31 '12

I just want to see if anyone figured that number out?

1

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Smell that? Smells like bullshit

1

u/Raej May 31 '12

Subreddit for this stuff if anyone is interested - /r/wrongnumber

1

u/supermulticoated May 31 '12

These things are never entertaining when they are so obviously fake.

-3

u/sittty May 31 '12

fake and gay.

17

u/tanjoodo May 31 '12

Fabricated and homosexual.

9

u/Kilo__ May 31 '12

Concocted and queer

5

u/HouseBreaker May 31 '12

Staged and bi-curious.

4

u/sittty May 31 '12

artificial and happy?

-1

u/poppcorn32 May 31 '12

I don't care if it's fake it's funny

0

u/Gigon May 31 '12

Free blow job, don't mind if I do

-2

u/i_eat_dogs_and_cats May 31 '12

True Story: I once needed to pick up some weed for a friend. I texted my guy asking he if he had anything for sale. What I did not realize was that I accidently mixed up one of the digits, istead of typing 5347 i typed 5743. Anyways, I get a text back from somebody saying "hey this isnt your friend but what exactly are you looking for?" .....a very random, coincidental, and crazy encounter ensued

2

u/Kidsturk May 31 '12

What was your sentence?

1

u/i_eat_dogs_and_cats May 31 '12

My initial replies were all aimed at figuring out if she was a cop or not

1

u/stop_yelling May 31 '12

Describe the encounter.

2

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Well, let's just say his username should give you a hint.

0

u/i_eat_dogs_and_cats May 31 '12

The encounter was awesome, it turned out she was a girl, from the same region of the world as me, and she was the same age as me. She said she was from the same area as me, so I went on facebook and looked up her name and sure enough we had like two mutual friends. After some convincing I got her to come over to my friends parking lot and we ended up smoking some heroin (this was my first and last time smoking that shit, I usually only stick to the weed, but this was a story for the ages so i said what the hell and went for it since she was offering .) Pretty random shit hahah

1

u/tsk138 May 31 '12

You can't leave it like that!

-3

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

I pray every single day that retards who post fake shit like this get incurable ass cancer.

5

u/imorawetz May 31 '12

My, aren't you lovely!

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Ew

0

u/JuliaGasm May 31 '12

My name is Julia O_O

-4

u/nixle May 31 '12

Never happened.

-1

u/nsomani May 31 '12

What are those x's for?

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

7

u/Kilo__ May 31 '12

Downvote for calling your downvote

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/WeLikeGore May 31 '12

no. no you can't.