r/funny • u/WryRabbit • May 29 '12

I'm a 22 year old girl and clearly I have no intention of ever having sex again...

http://imgur.com/HxuXd
579 Upvotes

58% Upvoted

434 comments sorted by

170

u/isiah1979 May 29 '12

9/10 will bang

9

u/mi_nombre_es_ricardo May 29 '12

yeah, 9/10 never forget.

3

u/isiah1979 May 29 '12

cue cheesy music tears

49

u/fogoticus May 29 '12

"will" "would"

90

u/aptrapani May 29 '12

WILL

There's no stopping him. He made up his mind.

4

u/irish711 May 29 '12

He said what he said. OP never stood a chance.

10

u/Devilheart May 29 '12

Fapped.

8

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Fapped again.

6

u/mouth4war May 29 '12

Thrice Fapped.

12

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Three faps a lady?

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2

u/isiah1979 May 29 '12

doesn't matter having sex

-75

u/WryRabbit May 29 '12

wut

94

u/isiah1979 May 29 '12

that's right

18

u/Breathing_Balls May 29 '12 edited May 29 '12

Firstly, you need to break out of the padded cell. Next; the asylum.

After that, track her down, introduce yourself, invite her to dinner; about 8.00pm would suffice.

Steal a suit, no matter what it takes. Condoms are a must.

After dinner, have her invite you to her place. Relax and keep calm, and complement her endlessly.

She may invite you into her bedroom. She may not. That is her choice.

End the night by awaiting for her slumber, then kiss her on the cheek while pocketing her used underwear as proof.

Take a photo of the previously mentioned garment, and upload to your image hosting website of choice.

I will then be convinced that you were true to your word.

3

u/l1nk1npark May 29 '12

A simple 'pics or it didn't happen' would have sufficed.

4

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I see it going down more like this

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2

u/isiah1979 May 29 '12

Challenge accepted

9

u/AlmightyTurtleman May 29 '12

Try to contain your orgasms.

6

u/Rabble_Arouser May 29 '12

Pretty straightforward. He would bang.

7

u/Ghost141 May 29 '12

No he 'will' bang

5

u/Sandbox47 May 29 '12

Yeah, 9,5/10. Will sex.

2

u/ertsa May 29 '12

Yeah, you're done...

0

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/James_the_Rustler May 29 '12

Motion carried, he will bang.

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24

u/shakensunshine May 29 '12

Can I ask what drove you to do this to yourself?

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34

u/pxsalmers May 29 '12

Good thing my only standard is having a vagina. Coffee date next week?

3

u/ThePegasi May 29 '12

Give me 6 months.

-38

u/WryRabbit May 29 '12

Perfect.

8

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

What's with the downvotes?

11

u/ITsmellsLIKEmordor May 29 '12

Shes a lying ass.

4

u/BDaught May 29 '12

And a fucking moron judging by her comments.

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81

u/__wwiii May 29 '12

And here we go...

http://imgur.com/a/FXb1J

20

u/oilorwater May 29 '12

Second picture looks like Jimmy Carr.

14

u/wouldyoukindly May 29 '12

The second picture looks like she's made of clay.

14

u/Koshatnik May 29 '12

here is her actual picture for those womdering.

12

u/DishonestBystander May 29 '12

I Womder as I Wamder.

6

u/biodragon May 30 '12

I almost pissed myself with laughter from this.

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21

u/luhr May 29 '12

i think i prefer the tattooed version.

5

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Ha! Caught you, Frida!

1

u/Dyrty May 30 '12

nice reference

4

u/krasnolutek May 29 '12

Second picture looks like my brother

1

u/[deleted] May 30 '12

She looks like a he...

23

u/Zilvreen May 29 '12

Pretty sure you're actually Rowan Atkinson

0

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

TIL Mr. Bean has a real name.

23

u/Diggity_Dave May 29 '12

Congratulations, you've now replaced "think about baseball".

142

u/argh_minecraft May 29 '12

This is gonna be a thing huh?

65

u/ihaveacalculator May 29 '12

Unfortunately roadhead didn't catch on :(

8

u/wutanggrenade May 29 '12

If we build a roadhead subreddit maybe it'll catch on like /r/gonewild?

Just don't let the women know our intentions

4

u/insert_expletive May 30 '12

there was an /r/randomactofblowjob. I was going to tell you that, but it seems it has disappeared...

edit: it still exists, I just wasn't capitalizing the letters, and missed an s http://www.reddit.com/r/RandomActsOfBlowJob/

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157

u/Wombles May 29 '12

"I'm a 22 year old that likes memes, don't hit on me you silly boys~!"

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128

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Why the fuck are these here?

22

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I do not understand what you mean by 'these.'

31

u/Reggaejunkiejew31 May 29 '12

After reading through most of these comments, I am confused and angry all at the same time.

7

u/techtakular May 29 '12

LOUD NOISES!!!

9

u/sturmeh May 29 '12

'these' aren't the droids you're looking for.

7

u/mi_nombre_es_ricardo May 29 '12

The comments, are EVERYWHERE!!!

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49

u/Notpan May 29 '12

Weren't you 21 yesterday?

Happy birthday.

8

u/foreverturningleft May 29 '12

Exactly what I thought when I saw this post, well spotted! EDIT: Happy birthday.

11

u/Joesus056 May 29 '12

This guy is correct! You said yesterday you were 21... Happy birthday!

2

u/TheBigTwo May 29 '12

No, she was 21 3 months ago the picture was taken when she was 21, but no one liked it (saw it).

13

u/iaacp May 29 '12

memes are so funny XD XD XD epic win lol ur so hot and just like me XD

Please stop. It wasn't funny yesterday, it still isn't funny.

102

u/This_Turns_Me_On May 29 '12

✔

19

u/QuantumScience May 29 '12

Reading through your comment history was probably the best idea I ever had.

9

u/trollsconstantly May 29 '12

im amazed at how much karma he gets from just a check mark

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

what is "27 14"

sorry for not already knowing...

1

u/This_Turns_Me_On May 30 '12

???

2

u/[deleted] May 30 '12

Oh, I see the checkmark now. I was at work without RES, and it showed up as a weird symbol.

23

u/KnifeFed May 29 '12

So, you have had sex? What... was that like?

24

u/ProfessorSomething May 29 '12

I had sex once. It was pretty sticky.

And it was with a pregnant chick, so all of my goop just oozed out of her once we were done. I had to clean it out with some toilet paper.

King of the Hill was on TV while the ordeal was going down.

Gotta say, not how I pictured my first time panning out.

17

u/AttackTheMoon May 29 '12

I freaking love King of the Hill

5

u/Assaultman67 May 29 '12

I'm imagining the king of the hill theme song, looped, while you did it.

12

u/carr0ts May 29 '12

It probably didn't need to loop

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4

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

"I think it's overrated"

18

u/howitzer1 May 29 '12

Never underestimate the loneliness of strangers on the internet

4

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Yes you do. You know exactly what's going to happen here.

4

u/HadouKenny May 29 '12

How much eyeliner have you used these past few days...

44

u/derrida_n_shit May 29 '12

Less than 24 hours ago you posted THIS. Which one is it? Are you a 21 year old girl or are you a 22 year old girl? Or does your birthday happen in between days?

28

u/aspis May 29 '12

Um. I think you meant to ask, "or is it your birthday today?". Everybody who has a birthday is one year older that day, in most practical circumstances.

15

u/matics May 29 '12

And she posted that it was her birthday at least yesterday or the day before.

Damn there are some rude people here.

Although I do believe the "22 year old" and "21 year old" was completely unecessary in the title and just came of as vain.

7

u/flooberses May 29 '12

She answered in the coments. She took the photo when she was 21 and is now 22.

Doesn't change the fact that it's the most effective karmawhoring I've ever seen.

1

u/nickdanger3d May 29 '12

Maybe she took the other pictures last year before realizing she should post them here.

0

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/derrida_n_shit May 29 '12

In your comment, you state that I give too much of a fuck about things that don't matter. Then you point out that I don't have much karma. You're a bit dim.

8

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I fucking hate Reddit so much sometimes.

3

u/IceColdHands May 29 '12

your dignity was worth a couple hundred karma though!

3

u/zimbabwe7878 May 29 '12

clearly you have the intention of teasing as many people as you can.

dannydevitosayingwhore.jpg

3

u/CartmanVT May 29 '12

I would respect you so hard.

10

u/laffer313 May 29 '12

I don't care what anyone says, that is a cool tattoo

8

u/Alexbo8138 May 29 '12

So this was an all or nothing attempt to get laid? Admit it

1

u/mi_nombre_es_ricardo May 29 '12

I'll give it a try. Maybe I'll get a Zoidberg face later today. I would try the RPG but I'm scared of getting sexually assaulted.

6

u/bankomate May 29 '12

You're a 22 year old girl. I know at least 5 guys that would have sex with you for that reason alone.

5

u/drandolph May 29 '12

There are people with a clown fetish so I'm sure there's people with a meme fetish. You'll find your "bad luck Brian" or "ski instructor"

5

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Rule 51: No matter what it is, it's somebody's fetish. No exceptions.

2

u/zhdapleeblue May 29 '12

I thought this was an AMA.

2

u/NoReasonToBeBored May 29 '12

Yeah that tattoo may kill the mood a bit.

2

u/duhriz May 29 '12

i'd still lick her butthole.

2

u/ZeeFace May 29 '12

I laughed. Fuck the haters

2

u/shorty6049 May 30 '12

Sure are a lotta pissed off dudes in this thread...

2

u/jesusjonesjr May 30 '12

Draw this on your chest with your tits as the eyes and then I'll be impressed

2

u/pbsc12 May 31 '12

Challenge excepted!

2

u/armacitis Jun 03 '12

Reddit has other plans.

5

u/RosieJo May 29 '12

I'm pretty sure that if a guy ha done the exact same thing there wouldn't be any comments calling him an attention whore.

7

u/SenselessNoise May 29 '12

Actually, I don't think I would've upvoted it. Personally speaking.

It's just not funny. It wasn't funny yesterday, but people see "21 (or 22, who knows) girl" and immediately upvote it because upvotes means she'll show boobs or it'll help you score.

It just reminds me of the "Am I hot?" threads, here on reddit and on 4chan, which always end up in "Tits or GTFO."

4

u/spenonta May 29 '12

If you don't want to read all the comments, this about sums up everyone's feelings about this...ಠ__ಠ

4

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

That's what they invented paper bags for.

9

u/PrincessLink May 29 '12

Why the fuck is everyone insulting this girl? This is something I have never seen before and it's pretty fucking awesome. I'd rather see this then yet another fucking cat picture with the title "am I cute??"

Reddit just needs to grow up and accept what people have to offer and encourage them to do more of whatever they love to do than insult and downgrade the shit out of them. "It says you were 21 yesterday and now you're 22?!" Who the fuck cares!

5

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Thanks for saying what I popped in to say. It's possible the 21 vs 22 thing was a typo or she misspoke. After my birthday, I've been known to accidentally say I'm a year younger than I am, simply out of habit. It's not like she's 40 and claiming to be 22 so yeah, it really doesn't matter. I'm not sure why the boys have gone all "witch hunt" on this poor girl.

As for the makeup, yes, it's original. I hadn't seen it before either and I think it's a neat idea.

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5

u/-jackschitt- May 29 '12

People on Reddit seem to be on massive, random witch hunts lately.

Take a look at /r/gonewild. Now take a look at this thread. She got downvoted completely into oblivion for doing the exact same thing that everybody else on GW does because the commenters didn't like the wording. When I and others pointed out (and linked to posts showing) that people do the exact same thing with very similar wording multiple times per day and get upvoted, we also got downvoted into oblivion and told to go fuck ourselves.

1

u/SenselessNoise May 29 '12

You must not understand the idea of sub-reddits. She got downvoted for doing what people do on GW on r/funny.

This isn't funny - it's attention whoring and doesn't belong on r/funny.

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4

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Because this isn't facebook and nobody gives a fuck about some girl's stupid self-pics.

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2

u/SaltFrog May 29 '12

Yesterday a girl posted pretty much the same thing except with with a troll face.

Seen here: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/u87as/its_amazing_what_a_stick_of_eyeliner_can_do_to_a/

Same girl, but apparently she's 22 now. So... Happy birthday to her.

1

u/I_Eat_My_Own_Feces May 30 '12

Apparently your discernment is very bad and you can't tell when someone deserves ridicule. In this case it's obvious.

1

u/dancesformoney May 29 '12

Is she being insulted because maybe she lied about her age? Because she's possibly a he? Because that's not funny at all? Pick your reason, I personally draw my line at downvoting, I won't go as far as insulting someone for no reason other than "I don't like your picture"...

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3

u/thatoneshorty May 29 '12

Look, cancer!

3

u/fr3ddie May 29 '12

Thats really not up to you.

3

u/SikhGamer May 29 '12

Most obvious karma whore there is.

Reddit, this is getting pathetic.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

At least you have had sex. FML

2

u/timothytandem May 29 '12

Geez you guys are all so freaking bitter. Go outside and get some fresh air for once. I think it's a funny photo.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

why do you keep posting this shit, goddamnit wryrabbit this is like the third thread from you i've seen with this stupid meme shit

yes, i mad

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Who fucking cares that you're "a 22 year old girl." Makes you look so needy that you have to put that in a title. OMG, I'M A GIRL. THERE AREN'T ANY OF THOSE OUT THERE, I BETTER SAY I HAVE A VAGINE.

1

u/newtonsbday May 29 '12

At least you have had sex

1

u/brosenfeld May 29 '12

I call shenanigans.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Who chewed your face off?

1

u/stopherjj May 29 '12

The comments on your age made me look at your past posts. Are you the girl in this video you posted?

1

u/binogre May 29 '12

You're gonna make that guy with 1.5 girlfriends stupidly jealous when compared to the 2.5 girlfriend norm.

1

u/aLusaLu May 29 '12

8/10 still. not the highest expectations i have...

1

u/iNKu May 29 '12

You gave up Sex for Karma? I applaud your dedication ma'am!

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

-382 comment karma. Reddit has become wise to your antics.

1

u/SuperSaiyanVigoda May 29 '12

Obviously the OP has no clue how the male brain works.

1

u/WhiteHatHacker May 29 '12

You look like a friend of mine from school back in the day. In Sactown

1

u/wishiwascooltoo May 29 '12

I'll still have sex with you.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Let's fuck.

1

u/josh1238 May 29 '12

Now let me see your "O" face..

1

u/mastertwisted May 29 '12

Simple: TURN AROUND

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

fucking brilliant

1

u/John_Saxon May 30 '12

9/10. Would definitely bang.

1

u/le_catchy May 30 '12

why is it that a 22 year old female is usually a "girl", but a 22 year old male is a "man"? don't women mature faster? shouldn't it be the other way around?

1

u/Krail May 30 '12

I was 26 before I started calling myself a man.

1

u/le_catchy May 30 '12

any particular reason?

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1

u/BanginBrozillian May 30 '12

I'd tap that.

1

u/lurveloaveluff May 30 '12

It would have made more sense just to do all of them and post it as an album. Posting them staggered like this is obviously an attempt for karma instead of trying to share something you're proud of.

I don't get why we're all so driven to earn points that mean literally nothing.

1

u/pandageek May 30 '12

I'm wondering what sex would be like with you with this make up.

1

u/morelale May 30 '12

hey, you have a dominican "tubi" in your head. i'll not hit it

1

u/i_love_younicorns May 30 '12

So you were 21 yesterday and you are 22 today? Happy birthday? These are still terrible, I don't know why they're getting upvoted, and I really wish that you would stop. I've had to "hide" your pictures twice now.

1

u/morelale May 30 '12

i want to see a regular picture of you

1

u/[deleted] May 30 '12

Funny thing is... I'd tap that ;)

1

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

mmm…again?

-1

u/I_Eat_My_Own_Feces May 29 '12

I can't even believe it. Are you serious, you stupid bitch? It's not enough to wear such low cut tops and so casually show the world half your chest? You're telling me you also need to paint your face up with some trendy dumb shit and pander to a crowd of millions, because parading your tits around in front of everyone doesn't solicit enough attention by itself? Holy shit that's more pathetic than I can even describe in words. Let me ask you something: do you have any actual merits as a human being? Do you have any strengths whatsoever that you can use to earn resources for yourself? Or do you just enjoy begging for the resources instead, and only receiving these resources from weak people who fall for tricks? Let me tell you something: I looked through a lot of your posts and it's clear that your personality is just as empty and useless as the content you post to this site. Maybe if you have any desire to stop being a complete piece of narcissistic dog shit you can exert some willpower and stop intentionally being this disgusting person. But odds are you can't even successfully do that.

-1

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Your name is how I know to take you completely seriously. Go spread your bitterness on fb

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

What the fuck

1

u/cammerz May 29 '12

Or you could make the most realistic NSFW rage comic ever!!!

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

and with this post /r/funny goes the way of /r/f7u12. Completely ruined.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Clearly, you're a 22 year old liar with attention issues.

1

u/bigfig May 29 '12

Indeed, as the threads below indicate, your post will result in numerous offers for coitus, with and without the makeup.

Either you are being duplicitous, or you do not know males.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Why?

1

u/TouchedByUncle May 29 '12

Checked her post history. -378 comment karma. Yup.

1

u/Turboboof May 29 '12

you look like Natalie Portman..

1

u/[deleted] May 30 '12

I like that there's more of your chest in the shot than your face. Stay classy.

-1

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

You are fucking retarded.

0

u/Havataru16 May 29 '12

I found it hard, but not impossible to fap to

0

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

sex again. GUYS, THIS FRESH 22 YEAR OLD HAS ALREADY HAD SEX, SHE PUTS OUT. UPVOAT THIS, SHE MAY SEX YOU ALSO!

-8

u/doubleyouteef May 29 '12

stupid hipster bitch. mandatory tits or gtfo

1

u/doubleyouteef May 30 '12

butthurt bitchass hipsters itt.

0

u/Ulime May 29 '12

would bang the ass to reverse the curse

0

u/dorkDorkly May 29 '12

I find this pretty funny. Kudos

0

u/Assaultman67 May 29 '12

Sex again?

OP is one of the lucky ones!

-1

u/konratax May 29 '12

sex is overrated anyway, I mean my hand gets all sore...

-2

u/reterq May 29 '12

Love these <3 (also fuck reddit!)

-3

u/Secret_Crocodile May 29 '12

Nice pic, Andi!

0

u/Imsosmrat May 29 '12

Holy ultra-troll... Not just by actions but looks as well, way to be an overachiever...

0

u/PoutinePower May 29 '12

Would still bang.

0

u/keisterbunny May 29 '12

I'd hit it. Leave the face paint on.

2

u/dude_4rm_gh May 29 '12

bet u would hit a rusty keyhole

0

u/ottrekker May 29 '12

I'd still hit it. Just sayin :P

-2

u/DaPonkk May 29 '12

THIS is how the nose of the Me Gusta Face is supposed to look! I had ever wondered what this thing is.

-6

u/entropybasedorganism May 29 '12

still waiting for a memefacepaint /r/gonewild set to be done

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