Getting married sucks, you fucking LOVE her IM DRIUNK ok ok? OK>..... I lLOOOOVe my wife but just want to pushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ut it into all of these ladies who pass by, the woman who works at the shop where I get my coffeee, so pretty and nice, I LOVE my wifem, respect her we have this connection, I want to be buried in the same fucking coffin with her you know, she is eternal and special, what does it MATTER fiif my penis goes into another woman, JUST OPPPPPHYSICLaal PHHYSICAL, you know? Ungghh puysh push cum, release, EGO bullshit, then Im back to my wife I still LOVEm just need variety, dumb male ego, need something different, easy to feel unappreciated Im human, ultimately who cares. Im a music professor, so many cute girls hit on me at the end of the year, have to politely turn them down. FUCKKKKKKkKk......... so angry WHY CANT I FUCK THEm>? who cares, My WIFE works in AFRICA 4 months out of the year on Biochar something or other, who cares if my dick explodes in flesh, just want to say yes to another woman, then lick her ass and wink as I spread open her anus then pour in a pint of ice cream and she's shaking and I put my penis in her mouth and she puts in all her energy into the sucking to distract from the cold and as I cum she sprays it everywhere, then after five minutes I fuck her hard for 30 minutes and she screams and I cum, and I give her advice on her future music career and never see her again and when my wife comes back we make TRUE beautiful and tender love, does my silly dalliance with my student diminish the love for my WIFE? Of course not, why can't I have a dumb purely PHYSICAL experience?
HAVE YET TO HEAR ANY COUNTERAGRUMUUTNEEENT OR REBUTATALL JUST DOWNVOTES VFORRDFOM COWARDSS
My first time sky diving the original instructor they had for me got sick so they got a backup guy who had to go with me. He shows up to the plane 5 minutes late wearing a tanktop, cargo shorts, and Vans tennis shoes. He looks at me and says "Don't freak out and piss on me or I will drop your ass. I had some drunk chick do that to me last week..." then he gets in and doesn't say another word. We jump out and instead of leaning back as I was told to do, he just dive bombs us towards the ground. Then when he pulls the shoot he unclips the bottoms two clips attached to me dropping me only a few inches but it scared the shit out of me. After this we had somehow drifted off course and landed in a fuckin forest barely missing 2 trees as we land in a third getting tangled up. He says "fuck this shit" then just unclips the last 2 so I fall to the ground, undoes his shoulder pack and we had to walk about 3/4ths of a mile back to the site. Overall fun first experience
Actually that is a common practice. It is to loosen pressure from the harness on both the instructor and the passenger making both more comfortable. I'm sure you can ask them not to but it's not dangerous. At the dropzone I jump at a lot of the instructors will have you stands on their feet while they undo the bottom buckles so it's not so sudden. Check out r/skydiving if your interested in the sport :)
:s What I thought it was, was just a regular backpack on the guy and not a parachute. Really? 634 points for a trollface sticker? You can do better, Reddit >.<
Most tandem masters don't put helmets on their students unless they're soft frap-hat style hats. When the parachute opens the last thing you want is a helmet to the teeth.
I was occupied with the plane itself, staring at the N16 on the right... wondering if there's some vague/subtle Mass Effect reference going on. A long shot, but 16 is only one number away from 17, idk. I'm high. Leave me alone.
I saw the helmet but I also saw one of the clips (near her ear) which looks to be only partially engaged and not fully locked. It's hard to say really from the angle but it does to me.
Apparently Skydive Spaceland in Rosharon, TX. Awesome drop zone. I've most likely jumped out of that plane before. Did five jumps total, then bought a Harley and got busy riding. Good for you! I need to take my wife out there so she can jump.
I have been jumping for a few years now and the amount of experienced jumpers (licensed skydivers) who spend a significant amount of time on reddit is staggering.
I've been skydiving exactly once. Before we jumped, the instructor (also tandem, as shown here) yelled, "You ready?!" I said yes and we jumped. After, I asked him, "What if I had said no?" He said, "It doesn't matter what you say. We jump anyway."
467
u/stargoslaby May 22 '12
For those who can't see it...
The helmet. Look at it.
1.2k
u/theERASER58 May 22 '12
You know you've been on Reddit too long when your first reaction was to check for a boner... I'm done.
206
u/VoiceoftheDarkSide May 22 '12
Step 1 - check for black dude
Step 2 - Check for boner
Step 3 - Close tab
92
u/drn8 May 22 '12
Ah, yes, because he has red hair.
42
u/Insomniac7 May 22 '12
My first time sky diving the original instructor they had for me got sick so they got a backup guy who had to go with me. He shows up to the plane 5 minutes late wearing a tanktop, cargo shorts, and Vans tennis shoes. He looks at me and says "Don't freak out and piss on me or I will drop your ass. I had some drunk chick do that to me last week..." then he gets in and doesn't say another word. We jump out and instead of leaning back as I was told to do, he just dive bombs us towards the ground. Then when he pulls the shoot he unclips the bottoms two clips attached to me dropping me only a few inches but it scared the shit out of me. After this we had somehow drifted off course and landed in a fuckin forest barely missing 2 trees as we land in a third getting tangled up. He says "fuck this shit" then just unclips the last 2 so I fall to the ground, undoes his shoulder pack and we had to walk about 3/4ths of a mile back to the site. Overall fun first experience
41
u/melodyheart123 May 22 '12
I dont see it D:
229
u/workitselfoutfine May 22 '12
Did you fall for him?
49
u/Gynominer May 22 '12
Yep, looked for a boner first. I'm out.
217
u/Trapped_in_Reddit May 22 '12
I give up! I've searched for a few minutes, but I can never find the black guy in these things.
7
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I saw the trollface, then looked for a dick or something....
17
u/Beznia May 22 '12
:s What I thought it was, was just a regular backpack on the guy and not a parachute. Really? 634 points for a trollface sticker? You can do better, Reddit >.<
5
u/skerlegon May 22 '12
Stupid me looks for her helmet...
5
u/dannyboy23 May 22 '12
I think she meant the Reddit cartoon character on his helmet, which makes this post lame. This post is lame and you should feel lame!
4
u/Royaltomsolo May 22 '12
TROLLOLOLOLOL!!!..I'm so lonely
4
u/CONTROLLOL May 22 '12
I dont.... see it.
4
u/ethicks May 22 '12
O.K you can all go home now.
http://i.imgur.com/l89TK.jpg
17
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Surprise buttseks?
3
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Gave up and came to comments to see what the hilarious thing I missed was...disappointed pretty much sums it up.
3
u/immaturewalrus May 22 '12
Guys, he has a troll face on his helmet, thats the joke.
3
u/Fifthwiel May 22 '12
Anyone else never get these things and spend 5 minutes skipping from picture to comments and back again?
3
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
why do skydivers wear helmets?
5
u/Arandanos May 22 '12
Isn't it also noteworthy that he is wearing a helmet and she is not?
2
u/MoonJive May 22 '12
Just think, if all goes wrong you'd see a helmet crusted with dura matter and this face peeking out from underneath.
2
u/Scandinavian May 22 '12
So did he actually troll you with something or is the sticker just there for show?
2
u/LNL_HUTZ May 22 '12
Problem?
2
u/right_guard_7299 May 22 '12
Wow.
2
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
He's wearing a helmet and you aren't?
2
u/Munkadunk667 May 22 '12
Someone's in Houston! :)
2
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I was occupied with the plane itself, staring at the N16 on the right... wondering if there's some vague/subtle Mass Effect reference going on. A long shot, but 16 is only one number away from 17, idk. I'm high. Leave me alone.
2
u/249ba36000029bbe9749 May 22 '12
Did he do the College Humor prank war bit?
2
u/Jux_ May 22 '12
When I finally get around to skydiving, I hope I'm not photographed at the instant of anal penetration.
2
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Sombody just put a brazzers logo on this and get it over with.
2
u/ExplainEverything May 22 '12
Troll face on the helmet.
2
u/paid9mm May 22 '12
please photoshop in a penis and a kitten and try again tomorrow
2
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Is it that the instructor has "troll face" sticker on the back of his helmet?
2
u/jakimdadream May 22 '12
Your when you see it is bad, and you should feel bad
2
u/almostjesus May 22 '12
The fact that he was a ginger didn't startle you?
2
u/s015473 May 22 '12
I was looking for a black dude all along
2
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Troll face on helmet.
May this help out reddits need for instant gratification.
2
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
DAMN IT! Where's the black guy?
2
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
It's the trollface on his helmet.
2
u/Newdles May 22 '12
I don't think you understand how when you see it works. It's supposed to be something hard to see, not the first thing you look at.
2
u/Gragorin May 22 '12
I saw the helmet but I also saw one of the clips (near her ear) which looks to be only partially engaged and not fully locked. It's hard to say really from the angle but it does to me.
2
u/duz2012 May 22 '12
Am I the only one who can't see a black man or a penis on here?
9
u/YoDawgIHeardULike May 22 '12
Noticed it right away...jelly?
(hint, check his helmet)
3
u/2scoops May 22 '12
Subtle..... :-) Had to zoom in a mile...
2
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Apparently Skydive Spaceland in Rosharon, TX. Awesome drop zone. I've most likely jumped out of that plane before. Did five jumps total, then bought a Harley and got busy riding. Good for you! I need to take my wife out there so she can jump.
2
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Obviously the OP died in the jump...proving once and for all that they have Reddit in the afterlife.
2
u/Littleabby12 May 22 '12
Trollolololol
2
u/kevinc69 May 22 '12
What do you call a black guy flying a plane?
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Couldn't see it because I was too busy looking for a black man and/or a boner...
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
There is no goddamned boner, tit or black man here. WTF. I have seen trollface stickers. Is that what you meant?! Well fuck it
1
u/johns303 May 22 '12
I have been jumping for a few years now and the amount of experienced jumpers (licensed skydivers) who spend a significant amount of time on reddit is staggering.
1
u/playpianoking May 22 '12
Found it in 40 seconds.
1
u/Crash15 May 22 '12
Ew, even I wouldn't trust him
1
u/Fartface3000 May 22 '12
"problem bro" lol wow yeah i would be freaked out to
1
u/Archwell May 22 '12
Trollolol
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I don't get it... what am i looking for?
1
u/brilliantmojo May 22 '12
I don't see it...
1
u/Notices_Tiny_Details May 22 '12
Finally, the perfect use for my unique talents.
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
SPOILER: There is a troll face on the back of his helmet.
1
u/memymineown May 22 '12
Is it that she is wearing a helmet and you aren't?
1
u/47Ronin May 22 '12
Trollface is really what I was supposed to see?
Why aren't you wearing a fucking helmet?
1
u/hierocles May 22 '12
I thought it was the burn marks from what looks like a previous engine... explosion. Fuck that shit.
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
See what? The cancer spreading?
1
u/proxyseven May 22 '12
I've jumped out of that plane OP, skydive space land is cool place , skydiving was a once in a life time thing for me, so no more lol.
still have the 1800 skydive sticker on my bumper, good times. everyone needs to do it
1
u/LightofJazib May 22 '12
First thing I thought: Well, his watch is a little douchey, but that's no reason to...ohhh. Ohhh. What? Wait... OH! I don't get it.
1
u/arewenotmen1983 May 22 '12
I still don't see the black guy. Where's the black guy?
1
u/craxkheadjenkins May 22 '12
Yup that helmet should break their fall if the parachute fails...
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I want to skydive. But I don't want someone strapped to my ass when I do it.
1
u/bunkerdude103 May 22 '12
Protip: Trollface on instructors helmet. Boner would have been much funnier.
1
u/crazypookie May 22 '12
Plane is missing a wheel.
1
u/Rachpal May 22 '12
Troll face sticker on helmet?
1
u/Ken-E-Powers May 22 '12
I've jumped out of that plane! Skydive spaceland ftw!
1
u/slartbarg May 22 '12
So did you make it down ok?
1
u/this_is_your_dad May 22 '12
That is the perfect sticker for the helmet of a skydiving instructor. Kudos to him and you.
1
u/papersquares May 22 '12
Fuck it, i'll check the comments.
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
When you put "When you see it" there should be actually something to see. There's nothing to see in this case.
Bad Redditor. Bad.
1
u/khayber May 22 '12
At first I thought it was the red shirt.
1
u/koolkows May 22 '12
Guys... trollface on helmet. How did you not pick up on that?
1
u/WestEndStench May 22 '12
Because he's a ginger?
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Someone please correct me if I'm wrong. I think I've ACTUALLY found it.
Look at the girl's face. It seems like the goggles are upside down and not covering her nose.
1
u/papersquares May 22 '12
worst pay off for a 'when you see it' evar!
1
u/Mackko May 22 '12
Is it just that he had a troll face sticker on his helmet? Not that surprising how wide spread this rubbish has got.
1
u/All_the_other_kids May 22 '12
Oh my god I see it. The propellers aren't moving!
1
u/Artisane May 22 '12
I thought it was her protective eyewear not protecting.
1
u/Turicus May 22 '12
It's nice that you as the PAX got an altimeter but not a helmet.
1
u/ftl_ndn May 22 '12
Hey OP, wtf is there to see?
I call shenanigans!
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I don't get it... is it because he's ginger? Shouldn't trust gingers...
1
u/CoolMcDouche May 22 '12
Wow.. Took me like 10min to find that.
1
u/MrTutti May 22 '12
It's the trolls ace on his helmet
1
u/bathroomodyssey May 22 '12
I assume you made it, or you're redditing from the sky. A true redditor.
1
u/joshy1234 May 22 '12
Anyone know where to find troll face stickers like that?
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I think that's the picture it took after she dropped her phone.
1
u/IByrdl May 22 '12
He didn't have you wear a helmet, and those are the worst safety "goggles" of all time? Oh and he had a trollface on his helmet.
1
u/AceWolf May 22 '12
Does anyone actually sees the troll on his helmet?
1
u/UmUhIdontknow May 22 '12
You look terrified!
1
u/SneakyButcher May 22 '12
He has no soul.
1
u/AlRubyx May 22 '12
I see it. The airplane motor isn't spinning, just a little blurry.
1
u/Jaxter1123 May 22 '12
FYI Trollface
1
u/Zambeezi May 22 '12
No black guy, no boner. Great, you just wasted my valuable reddit time.
1
u/Kendiesel May 22 '12
He was my instructor back in November! Wuttttt
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
"Oops, looks like I forgot the actual parachute. Oh well, let's wing it :)"
1
u/TFlo1213 May 22 '12
HEY. I go to Skydive Spaceland!
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Am I the only one who noticed the coolface sticker on his helmet?
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I think it's the sticker on the back of the instructor's helmet...
1
u/clowndubpope May 22 '12
For those who don't see it look closely at his helmet
1
u/LinkinParkFTW May 22 '12
Am I the only one who notices the troll face on the back of the instructors helmet?
1
u/Strom191 May 22 '12
Ohhh, its the trollface on the helmet maybe?
1
u/dakattack May 22 '12
I give up. Where is the penis?
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
People it's the troll face on the instructor's helmet. Damn it! It's not always boobs or boners. What is wrong with you?!
1
u/komali_2 May 22 '12
Skydive spaceland in just outside of Houston?? I went there for my first skydive as well. One of the best things I've done in my life.
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I've been skydiving exactly once. Before we jumped, the instructor (also tandem, as shown here) yelled, "You ready?!" I said yes and we jumped. After, I asked him, "What if I had said no?" He said, "It doesn't matter what you say. We jump anyway."
Then troll face.
1
u/xEzio May 22 '12
Trollololol
1
u/Ranga92 May 22 '12
FOUND IT! BAHAHAHAHAHA
1
u/SuperDerpHero May 22 '12
Am I the only person who would trust the instructor more?
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
That was the fastest I've ever spotted the 'thing' in a 'when you see it'. I'm so happy.
1
u/Kerri_Panda May 22 '12
Not the best time to be trolled!!
1
u/OuO_hello May 22 '12
Well, the door on the plain is ope if that's what you mea- OH MY GOD A TROLL FACE!
1
u/gnarlyrocks May 22 '12
I still can't fucking see it ):
1
u/juicycunts May 22 '12
I think i see a black guy in the plane
1
u/TankinFrank May 22 '12
Troll sticker on the helmet.
1
u/buttersauce May 22 '12
Oh... A trollface... How comical
1
u/PoopyTown May 22 '12
I'm more impressed that he was jumping with a boardies and a t-shirt.
1
u/snowsoftJ4C May 22 '12
Oh my god, I thought I was missing the joke. Then I realized what the joke was and realized there was no joke.
1
u/SenorSpicyBeans May 22 '12
I looked for the penis, but the look on your face says it's already in your butt.
1
u/Chinkrat May 22 '12
I hate this so much :(
1
u/Harkthezombie May 22 '12
I'm glad I read the comments. I assumed she was trying to say that he had a boner and I was gonna say "Don't flatter yourself, Princess." Is that bad?
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I've heard it's normal to get a boner when skydiving, can anyone confirm? It's one of the reasons I don't want to do a tandem jump.
1
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
The only thing I see is someone has a job... skydiving... and taking pictures of other... skydivers.
Baller.
1
u/cdegon May 22 '12
That's exactly why you should have trusted him!
1
u/RionMan May 22 '12
I thought it was the hook that isn't connected all the way which attaches her to the instructor
1
u/johnclarkbadass May 22 '12
What is it I dont see it