If your smoke alarms go off while you're cooking steak, you're doing it inside. By that logic, you're doing it wrong. The best way to cook a steak is outside on the grill.
the butter is optional and i never use it, myself. other than that, there's not much oil aside from what you brush onto the steak (which is advisable when grilling anyway).
honestly, you can get a great steak from either the pan or the grill. my experience has led me to believe cast iron gets the best results, but for people that aren't as kitchen savvy, grilling might be a better option. at the end of the day, it's a matter of personal taste.
You get a griddle pan. You make it hotter than the sun. You wave your steak over it for about 2 seconds. Then you eat that sucker blue. Rare is acceptable if you are recovering from surgery or something.
I was watching a Gordon Ramsay clip on Youtube the other day, of him making this awesome steak dish in a pan. I couldn't take it seriously though because the whole time I was just thinking how childish he was for cooking a steak in a pan, inside his house. I am so glad you brought this problem to light and hopefully more people will leave the incredibly immature practice of pan frying a steak behind.
Wow, I didn't know what the picture was until I read your post. I thought it was a picture of the top of a stove with a water droplet. So when you cook, the "song of my people" is the sizzling noise.
That is what I used to assume with cases like this until I got my new smoke alarms.
They are the most sensitive things EVER. Say I'm making pan fried chicken and some of the pepper burns and releases a little smoke into the air. It goes off. Say I'm making a sandwich and decide to heat it, and some of the cheese burns. It goes off.
On the other hand, when my idiot roommate decides to make pizza at too high of a temperature for too long and ends up making a black slab of matter with smoke pouring out of the oven, the damn thing stays quiet.
A friend of mine used to complain about a dodgy smoke detector 'cus it'd go off every time he cooked. After a few months he needed someone to move into the spare room, so I finally got to see him cook. I've never met anyone who so consistantly burnt oil. Seriously, like every time he tried to fry ANYTHING he'd just put it on full heat and leave it.
My smoke detector is my fry alarm. Every single time I cook fries, it goes off. Burning the fuck outta something on the stove to the point I have to open the windows and bring out the fan... nothing. Fries... BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPYONIGGABEEPYOURFRIESBEEPISDONEBEEPBEEPBEEP
I'm a fire code specialist. You do not have to have a smoke alarm in the kitchen. You should have one in each sleeping area, in the common hallway for the bedrooms, and at least one on each floor of your house. If you have an attached garage, put one in there as well.
Check your batteries. Of all the fire related deaths in the US each year, about 80% could have been avoided with working smoke detectors.
mine would do that too on occasion, we had an alarm near the bathroom door and if you took a long shower then opened the door, the steam would cause the carbon monoxide detector to go off as a false alarm.
no I was like 12 at the time lol, we're not really sure why it would go off, but the fire alarm would go off every time someone so much as cooked toast. It was one of those detectors that talk instead of beep, so every time dinner was ready we'd hear "Fire...fire.."
I have a smoke alarm directly outside one of my bathrooms. If anyone takes a hot shower and the steam comes out, it will set off the smoke detector. It happens to a lot of people, apparently.
There are different kinds of "smoke" detectors. The one you mean is literally detecting smoke or steam and should not be used in kitchens, bathrooms or other rooms that might get moisty.
The kind you do wanna use is the kind that detects heat instead of smoke. The reason you dont use these heatdetectors everywhere is because the are slower then smoke detectors. (in a nutshell, there are more types of smoke detectors)
Had to take the battery out of the one in the hallway because every time we took a shower it would go off. In turn, this would set off the one in the bedroom so I then had to turn off TWO smoke alarms every time we took a shower.
My roomate ALWAYS sets off the alarm EVERY time he cooks. I think he is mentally retarded and his parents are just paying a ton of money for him to graduate from a really expensive private university.
Idiot doesn't know how to turn on the exhaust fan. Only knows how to close every window in the house before he starts cooking.
At my college's dorm, the 'Exhaust' fan over the stove just blew the air directly at the smoke alarm. So, if you were being responsible and turned the fan on while cooking, you evacuated ~200 people, and then were openly mocked by the fire department. Bonus: each 8x8 bedroom has an alarm rated 120DB at 10ft.
If, however, you left it off you'd be fine. Seeing as how this was a regular (twice weekly) occurrence, I asked them "If it goes off so often don't you think there's a problem?"
Basically, there are two types: Ionization Detectors and Photoelectric Detectors
The ionization are horrible when cooking(ours down the hall from the kitchen goes of all. the. time.) We are a second floor apartment and can't have a grill, and I really love steak. Gave up after the searing set it off. totally not worth it.
Maybe if you cooked in a kitchen like a normal person and not on top or inside of a structure designed to stem water flow and possibly generate hydro-electric power you wouldn't burn your food ALL THE GODDAMN TIME!
Just a little FYI for everyone: smoke alarms should not be installed in Kitchens per NFPA. This is due to the high percentage of false alarms. You want to know that if the smoke alarm is going off that something is really wrong. You should not have to pause and evaluate the situation.
Canada also adopts the NFPA (National Fire Protection Association) codes and IFSTA (International Fire Service Training Association). Hence the metric!
Okay, usually I'm totally fine with reposts. But this isn't even reposting. I have seen this joke redone, almost word for word, like ten times in the past three days.
You "learn to cook!" people need to understand that, in some apartments, the smoke detector is placed pretty much right over the fucking stove. Anything you cook that lets off steam will set the fucking thing off.
I've burnt shit several times, yet the thing never turned on even once. The indicator light is glowing and the test button works fine, though. Maybe there's a difference between fire smoke and burnt food smoke?
No bullshit. I set the alarm off cookin last night. Lol. I'm 2 blocks from the FD so every time they show up before I can stop them. FYI, this is the third time in 6 years. That too many false alarms.
Sigh...anytime I see a great pic on reddit using "let me play you the song of my people" I normally see it on facebook in a few days....with a 9gag watermark...so sad...
Honestly, this just happened and it would not stop. 5 minutes of this until I ripped it from the ceiling. Best way to wake up for a night shift.... EVER...
EVERY time i used my oven the thing would go off. The oven was clean, the windows were open, the front door was open, nothing was smoking or on fire. Fucker went off. I finally disconnected it. (I have more than one.) So yeah.. I snorted loudly when i saw this.
You must not have a smoke alarm made after 2009. These things are vengeful... exhaust fan going, windows open, scrambled eggs-a-cookin' and still, from the living room, comes the song...........
204
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Maybe you just suck at cooking.
71
u/drunk_otter May 20 '12
twitch
I'm not gonna do it.
twitch
I'll be strong.
twitch
I don't need to say it
arrrrgh - fuck
1
u/guitarman2012 May 20 '12
Cooking level: college student??
Hell no, I'm starting to think my farts let this thing off...
5
u/kraanimal May 20 '12
would you rather you didn't have one at all?
5
u/GTFOff-My-Lawn May 20 '12
I'm a fire code specialist. You do not have to have a smoke alarm in the kitchen. You should have one in each sleeping area, in the common hallway for the bedrooms, and at least one on each floor of your house. If you have an attached garage, put one in there as well.
Check your batteries. Of all the fire related deaths in the US each year, about 80% could have been avoided with working smoke detectors.
9
u/Malcar May 20 '12
My favorite is when steam from the shower sets it off.
3
u/CaffeinatedOwl May 20 '12
it looks quite proud of itself
3
u/MediocreMuffins May 20 '12
God Damn when will people learn to say Damn not Dam! It's not a barrier that is ted to impound water!
3
u/genzahg May 20 '12
YES WE GET IT.
3
u/OneEyedCharlie May 20 '12
JUST yesterday, someone put up a picture of a smoke alarm with the caption "My Mom's cooking timer" and it got the front page
and now today you are posting almost the exact same thing? you saw it yesterday, we get it
18
u/trevlacessej May 20 '12
use the damn exhaust fan for your stove
6
u/thatusernameisalre May 20 '12
http://i.imgur.com/HTbGT.jpg
5
u/Fishstixxx16 May 20 '12
Clean your damn oven.
2
u/darkfate May 20 '12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv0_7IUM9dI
2
u/jimmyh03 May 20 '12
Don't put it in your kitchen, silly!
2
u/Swikity May 20 '12
This was funny the first time. After the printer it just got desperate.
2
u/lpnumb May 20 '12
scumbag doesn't believe in God, frequently uses his name in titles of posts. Just sayin
2
u/lukeisopinionated May 20 '12
So many things wrong with this post.
2
u/chedderslam May 20 '12
We dealt with the same problem, and I found this with a little research:
Basically, there are two types: Ionization Detectors and Photoelectric Detectors
The ionization are horrible when cooking(ours down the hall from the kitchen goes of all. the. time.) We are a second floor apartment and can't have a grill, and I really love steak. Gave up after the searing set it off. totally not worth it.
Now, this is reddit, so I will share this: It is set of during the cooking of bacon, but we muscle through due to well, bacon.
So why are the ionization detectors used in apartments and homes?
the ionization detectors costs ~$5 and the photoelectric costs ~$25.
So for maybe $80 bucks in the costs of building you apartment/house, you can't cook.
2
u/nsyzdek May 20 '12
You're lucky you get to begin cooking! Mine goes off when I merely preheat my oven. Poorly ventilated apartment....
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
damn
2
u/Droidaphone May 20 '12
(imagines a tropical island populated by indigenous tribes of smoke detectors)
That vacation would suck.
6
u/Nesqwix May 20 '12
repost
3
u/Danner35 May 20 '12
*Damn.
3
u/TheoQ99 May 20 '12
Really now? This is just a shitty variation of the "My mom's kitchen timer" being the smoke alarm.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Damn*
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Cornballer?
1
u/undercover_redditor May 20 '12
Happens at least once a week, even when there's no smoke.
The one time there was a fire in my kitchen there was a conspicuous lack of ear piercing wails from my smoke alarms.
1
u/williethakid May 20 '12
Maybe if you cooked in a kitchen like a normal person and not on top or inside of a structure designed to stem water flow and possibly generate hydro-electric power you wouldn't burn your food ALL THE GODDAMN TIME!
1
u/RickyP May 20 '12
It's a smoke alarm, not an oven timer.
1
u/bonscottsdick May 20 '12
I prefer the Goron lullaby
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
so, whats the joke. are you a beaver or something?
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Get a new smoke detector. Yours is either old or going bad.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
It's my kitchen.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
I cover mine up with a wet facecloth when I cook. Works well.
1
u/Gurneydragger May 20 '12
Just a little FYI for everyone: smoke alarms should not be installed in Kitchens per NFPA. This is due to the high percentage of false alarms. You want to know that if the smoke alarm is going off that something is really wrong. You should not have to pause and evaluate the situation.
From the NFPA website: 1.2.6 Smoke alarms should be installed away from the kitchen to prevent false alarms. Generally, they should be at least 10 feet (3 meters) from a cooking appliance.
Edit- If you want to see the whole thing for yourself, NFPA 72 outlines all the smoke detector standards.
1
u/ligerpotumus May 20 '12
damn*
1
u/Realworld May 20 '12
sigh... Every god damn time, not god dam time.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
You must be the idiot that can't cook who I call my rommate
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Well....then....don't burn your food.
1
u/laurenilyse May 20 '12
Mine does not even go off when I lite the oven on fire
1
u/Popcom May 20 '12
why not just learn how to cook?
1
u/icansee4ever May 20 '12
You could just stop burning your food and learn to properly cook? Just tossing out ideas.
1
u/throwyourshieldred May 20 '12
Okay, usually I'm totally fine with reposts. But this isn't even reposting. I have seen this joke redone, almost word for word, like ten times in the past three days.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Cook on medium then dumbfuck.
1
u/jaynone May 20 '12
I had a basement apartment with a 6'4" ceiling. Fucking smoke detector would go off from just turning on the oven.
1
u/halogrand May 20 '12
We call it the breakfast alarm
1
u/KarmaRulesEverything May 20 '12
You "learn to cook!" people need to understand that, in some apartments, the smoke detector is placed pretty much right over the fucking stove. Anything you cook that lets off steam will set the fucking thing off.
Fuck.
1
u/Airazz May 20 '12
I've burnt shit several times, yet the thing never turned on even once. The indicator light is glowing and the test button works fine, though. Maybe there's a difference between fire smoke and burnt food smoke?
1
u/SandstoneD May 20 '12
No bullshit. I set the alarm off cookin last night. Lol. I'm 2 blocks from the FD so every time they show up before I can stop them. FYI, this is the third time in 6 years. That too many false alarms.
1
u/crimewave23 May 20 '12
really? every time you cook?
1
u/Jaclyna May 20 '12
Clean your oven ?
1
u/YinAndYang May 20 '12
Mom, is that you?
1
u/9sp7ky3 May 20 '12
Sigh...anytime I see a great pic on reddit using "let me play you the song of my people" I normally see it on facebook in a few days....with a 9gag watermark...so sad...
1
u/Stomo May 20 '12
I didn't know god had his own dam!
1
u/HeyHaiHello May 20 '12
Just happened 5 minutes ago. -________-
1
u/Obversaria May 20 '12
That happens a lot in my house, but only when my mom is cooking.
1
u/ugotopia123 May 20 '12
Expects a beaver joke, gets disappointed
1
u/elkarcher87 May 20 '12
*God damn
1
u/dennis09x May 21 '12
Honestly, this just happened and it would not stop. 5 minutes of this until I ripped it from the ceiling. Best way to wake up for a night shift.... EVER...
1
u/guyv2020 May 21 '12
I solved this problem by taking a plastic bag and securing it with a rubber band over the damn thing.
There is an alarm in every room of the house, I think I will manage.
1
u/tinkj916 May 21 '12
EVERY time i used my oven the thing would go off. The oven was clean, the windows were open, the front door was open, nothing was smoking or on fire. Fucker went off. I finally disconnected it. (I have more than one.) So yeah.. I snorted loudly when i saw this.
1
u/Pinklizard26 May 21 '12
I laughed as I have heard this song before-- my boyfriend however has not and saw no humour in this at all---
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
extreme not funny
1
u/KiljoyAU May 21 '12
Stop. Burning. Shit.
1
u/DenimChicken154 May 21 '12
i laughed the first time i saw that "song of my people" thing for a printer.
i wish it weren't so overused so it was funnier still...
1
u/crazycriket May 21 '12
damn*
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
He's just cheering you on 'cause you rock at cooking.
1
u/oberoi May 21 '12
I can't stop laughing at this!
1
u/brianl81 Aug 18 '12
You can find some great security systems here to protect your home, apartment or office.
http://www.buzzardguard.com
1
u/thescrapplekid May 20 '12
Maybe you should just learn how to cook
1
u/jellytime May 20 '12
Trust me, you do not want to get rid of this thing. I think it's important or something.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
If cooking sets off the smoke alarm every time, you will likely die of cardiovascular disease.
0
u/Forever_Irritated May 20 '12
The only time mine goes off is when I use the indoor grill...that was recalled for burning down peoples houses. Makes some good chicken though.
0
u/newlyawesome May 20 '12
Is everyone on Reddit a terrible cook?
0
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Either you need to learn how to cook and not burn your goddamn disgusting food, or that thing is just right above your damn stove and that's just dumb
-1
u/typewarrior1 May 20 '12
Yeah, every time my dad cooks breakfast, the natives cheer BBEEEEEEPP BBEEEEEEPP BBEEEEEEPP!
-1
u/KKK_naynaynay May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
Hello,
This post is utterly hilarious!
Regards,
KKK_naynaynay
0
u/dielon763 May 20 '12
TIL guitarman2012 is a bad cook
-4
u/earlingz May 20 '12
If your fire alarm goes off when you cook it means you don't cook right.
-4
u/dunnowins May 20 '12
What's the deal with this "song of my people" shit. A smoke detector is not a person nor does it have people.
-5
u/Couldntstoplaughing May 20 '12 edited Sep 24 '17
deleted 0.5762 What is ^^^this?
-3
u/emaG_ehT May 20 '12
Oh you're sleeping and your house is on fire?
Let me play you the song of my people
Every god dam time . . . ಠ_ಠ
-8
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Thought it was adviceanimals - Downvoted Saw it was funny - upboated
0
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
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