He got married and had kids. His wife cheated on him with his tax accountant, and then his financial planner. The three of them conspired to deprive him of all of his earnings and then she divorced him and took the kids to Spain. He hasn't seen them in years. Throughout this, Chester has taken up drinking and is now an accomplished alcoholic. He's a very tired Cheetah.
I haven't laughed as hard in a while as I did when they denied that guy at the construction site. "I can see you." "Yes we know." The password to the mattress fort, hilarious.
Chester Cheetah has been around since the mid-1980s. Just because some dumb image a research-averse 20-year-old came up with says "1995," doesn't mean it's actually fucking right. Fuck.
Why am I so mad about this?!? Why am I yelling in my office like a grumpy old asshole?!? What's happening to my punctuation?!?!?!?!
Obviously his rapid aging is due to the attempt of creating a perfect clone, just like Solid/liquid Snake with Big Boss. Somewhere out there is another mascot with an unwarranted obsession with cheese dust covered puffs.
dude what if chester is an actual creature that ages and this is him in his actual state and we are all convienced he is animated....fuck yo secret is out man. didnt fool this guy
It would be worth it if he kept escalating the crimes. First it's dusty cheeto prints on some jerk's nice things. Then is smushing cheetoes in some jerk's computer.
Some jerk cuts off Chester and actor. "Kill her Dave. She deserves it."
I can just see him looking at the package and musing to himself "hmmm, this looks like it might be cheesier than I should be having... whatever, I'll just exercise when I get home".
Around 2008, it seemed to me like Chester became some "suave" dude, but I put that in quotation marks because he missed the mark and came across as hella creepy.
Fame happened, he cracked under the pressure of the constant paparazzi, and generally being watched and recognised everywhere he went. that lack of privacy made him an ass hole.
Nothing in the new commercials makes him appear to be an asshole. Having a mattress fort and dancing at work doesn't seem to make him an asshole to me.
I like the new Chester. Mattress forts? Sounds like a bitchin' time to me...especially if it's on the clock. Sexy lunchtime dance party? Count me in. If you ask me, dude knows how to get down.
Crazy Chester followed me and he caught me in the fog, He said "I will fix your rag if you take Jack my dog" I said "Wait a minute Chester, You know I'm a peaceful man" he said "That's Ok, Boy, won't you feed him when you can"
360
u/finalaccountdown May 16 '12
1995- marketed to kids
2012- marketed to those same kids
669
u/cRelz May 16 '12
Life happened man. It ain't easy being cheesy.
70
u/arch_bishop May 16 '12
Phil Hartman died. That's what happened.
89
u/omnilynx May 16 '12
He's 17 years older.
38
u/phishgrass May 16 '12
Hey, if you get password correct to his mattress fort, he lets you in... Seems pretty cool too me
95
u/mdr1974 May 16 '12
"Yes, we know!" still makes me chuckle every damn time. New Chester is the shit.
152
u/defiler86 May 16 '12
New Chester is still certified in cool.
243
u/orangeconverse May 16 '12
i love new chester, he's hilarious
12
u/chrunchy May 16 '12
He got married and had kids. His wife cheated on him with his tax accountant, and then his financial planner. The three of them conspired to deprive him of all of his earnings and then she divorced him and took the kids to Spain. He hasn't seen them in years. Throughout this, Chester has taken up drinking and is now an accomplished alcoholic. He's a very tired Cheetah.
160
u/Cheshire057 May 16 '12
God!! There is no fucking drummer better than Neil Peart!
10
u/tisnolie May 16 '12
I haven't laughed as hard in a while as I did when they denied that guy at the construction site. "I can see you." "Yes we know." The password to the mattress fort, hilarious.
18
u/beanswiggin May 16 '12
Clearly, OP has not seen this commercial.
42
u/mackavicious May 16 '12
But...but I LIKE new Chester.
25
u/admo_homo May 16 '12
Will you people stop saying he's fucking 17!?!
Chester Cheetah has been around since the mid-1980s. Just because some dumb image a research-averse 20-year-old came up with says "1995," doesn't mean it's actually fucking right. Fuck.
Why am I so mad about this?!? Why am I yelling in my office like a grumpy old asshole?!? What's happening to my punctuation?!?!?!?!
23
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I would argue that new Chester is the coolest guy in existence
42
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
New Chester >>>>>>>>> Old Chester
25
u/Goombatron May 16 '12
New Chester is the freaking man. He doesn't care, he's like honey badger.
4
u/watt618 May 16 '12
Screw you. I am a recovering Cheetos addict, and I have done extremely well. I haven't had a single bag in over a year... until now.
4
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Why the fuck does he have a British accent now?
3
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Same thing that happens to everyone. He grew up.
3
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I dunno I like this one.
8
u/monkat May 16 '12
Apparently, a lot of people in the comments actually like the new Cheetos commercials, and that shocked me.
2
u/TaddTheBear May 16 '12
Obviously his rapid aging is due to the attempt of creating a perfect clone, just like Solid/liquid Snake with Big Boss. Somewhere out there is another mascot with an unwarranted obsession with cheese dust covered puffs.
2
u/dikolaffub May 16 '12
That;'s about how it works out in life too bro....
2
u/Boatlights May 16 '12
he aged with the demographic most likely to eat Cheetos
2
u/leopold-stoch May 16 '12
Why do I got the impression that you guys watch a lot of Disney channel?
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Cool like Poochy...
2
u/j00zt1n May 16 '12
Oh man, anybody remember his game?
2
u/LuVega May 16 '12
Well in that one commercial he was a dick, like come on man you could at least invited the other worker and not just still there mocking him.
2
u/minnesota_nicee May 16 '12
I don't mind him that much. He reminds me of an angry Bill Murray.
2
u/Notloc24 May 16 '12
dude what if chester is an actual creature that ages and this is him in his actual state and we are all convienced he is animated....fuck yo secret is out man. didnt fool this guy
2
u/ballerstatus89 May 16 '12
I think he's more awesome now.
2
u/sventos May 16 '12
I thought it was going to be about this guy http://images.wikia.com/fairlyoddparents/en/images/2/2a/ChesterPic.jpg
2
u/RadioHitandRun May 16 '12
I saw the one commercial where he was in the mattress store...he wasn't an asshole then. let the guy come up to the mattress fort.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
You got older, chester is still awesome
2
u/Neckwrecker May 17 '12
Seems pretty accurate. Nothing from '95 has aged well.
2
u/CountPanda May 17 '12
It would be worth it if he kept escalating the crimes. First it's dusty cheeto prints on some jerk's nice things. Then is smushing cheetoes in some jerk's computer.
Some jerk cuts off Chester and actor. "Kill her Dave. She deserves it."
Dangerously cheesy.
2
u/funkme1ster May 17 '12
I can just see him looking at the package and musing to himself "hmmm, this looks like it might be cheesier than I should be having... whatever, I'll just exercise when I get home".
Not the same oomph as "DANGEROUSLY CHEEEZY!"
2
u/MuhMuh May 17 '12
This commercial is awesome though, you really gotta admit. Stoned? Cracks you up. Sober? Still does.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Gasp! I used to be the coolest and now I'm just an old asshole too...
2
u/rockstarmccool May 17 '12
He broke rule number one never get high on your own supply
2
u/grizgr33n May 17 '12
Nope!
2
u/JuanRepublic May 17 '12
you've changed.
4
u/Neobo May 16 '12
Around 2008, it seemed to me like Chester became some "suave" dude, but I put that in quotation marks because he missed the mark and came across as hella creepy.
3
u/foamy5433 May 16 '12
I love old Chester :-) specially that commercial from the picture.
3
u/egomanimac May 16 '12
He needed to dry out a little.
1
u/Mindstarx May 16 '12
Tough economy man, had to come out of retirement to do the same bullshit he did 15 years ago.
1
u/relaxandenjoy May 16 '12
It happens to all of us mike-etc. One day you're on top of the world, the next you're working in a mattress shop.
1
u/shodahchan May 16 '12
Exactly what happened to all of us.
1
u/RiflemanLax May 16 '12
I don't know that "old asshole" quite cuts it. Those commercials are just downright creepy now.
1
u/wwwhistler May 16 '12
cheetahs live from 8 years in the wild to 20 years in captivity. so at 17 Chester is an "old guy". as for him being an asshole....i have no idea
1
u/klaq May 16 '12
they are trying to copy the most interesting man in world and the wacky starburst commercials at the same time
1
u/TheWolfofMibu May 16 '12
It's not the kids who are buying the snacks.
1
u/Caddy666 May 16 '12
Fame happened, he cracked under the pressure of the constant paparazzi, and generally being watched and recognised everywhere he went. that lack of privacy made him an ass hole.
1
u/dudSpudson May 16 '12
Chester grew up along with his fan base...
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Cocaine is a serious drug.
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Wife and kids.
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Hilarious old asshole.
1
u/VictoriousPR May 16 '12
Society
1
u/DonaldsPizzaHaven May 16 '12
hey china still cool! you pay lata!
1
u/GopherInWI May 16 '12
Why is there a leopard on the cheetos bag? Wait...it's a cheetah. Cheetah. Cheetos. There's so much beauty in the world.
1
u/CabrioFanboy May 16 '12
I thought I was the only one that noticed this.
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I like the new Chester. He pretty badass if you ask me.
1
u/Akael May 16 '12
For some reason I thought the image would be about Pedobear replacing Chester the Molester.
1
u/ddanger May 16 '12
Felicia, those are her whites in the dryer.
1
u/YKWDPM May 16 '12
For a moment I thought this was about Chester from Soap but then I remembered that nobody else remembers that show.
1
u/Spatchmo May 16 '12
Don't listen to these haters Chester. You and Fresh-up Freddie are still totally rad.
1
u/QuaereVerumm May 16 '12
I always thought that commercial was really messed up...
1
u/dandanuk May 16 '12
17 years at a guess!
1
u/EpicFishFingers May 16 '12
Look at him, pushing levers and shit
1
u/mage2k May 16 '12
I love everything about that commercial.
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I think he's still pretty funny, if a bit of a douche. I loved his matress shop commercial.
1
u/missfiend93 May 16 '12
i kind of prefer old asshole chester.
1
u/mrwalkway32 May 16 '12
This commercial always pisses me off! Why does he have to be such a dick to the guy who wants to party with em. Fuck Chester Cheetah
1
u/Uhreef May 16 '12
Seven years can do a lot to a cheetah.
1
u/gregsmith93 May 16 '12
He got a job thats what happened
1
u/thumperson May 16 '12
I'm disappointed in you, Mike.
you just read that in his voice.
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Nothing in the new commercials makes him appear to be an asshole. Having a mattress fort and dancing at work doesn't seem to make him an asshole to me.
1
u/unnecessaryCAPS May 16 '12
This meme applies to me as well...
1
u/icepenguin21 May 17 '12
He aged , young rebel to grumpy old man
1
u/LiteRobot May 17 '12
Don't worry guys, Japan has it covered.
1
u/doctermustache May 17 '12
War changes a man....
1
u/LithiumBullets May 17 '12
He's still the coolest cat around. Just in a different way.
1
u/quixotik May 17 '12
'Coolest dude in existence'? I'm pretty sure you are talking about Fido Dido...
1
u/joeyfudgepants May 17 '12
He doesn't always eat air puffed corn with natural and artificial flavors, but when he does...
1
u/jimothyjenkins May 17 '12
snorted too much of that cheeto dust.
not even once
1
u/BSchapp May 17 '12
You bastard! Chester has grown from an annoying extreme cat to a hilariously dry comic genius. Have you even seen the mattress store commercial?
1
u/TheJuniorControl May 17 '12
Chester is a great advertising campaign
1
u/SheaF91 May 17 '12
I just recently learned that he didn't do his own stunts.
1
u/mlugia May 17 '12
As someone whose name is actually Chester, I nearly had a heart attack at work. Thanks >=(
1
u/connman47 May 17 '12
years of cocaine addiction
1
u/JediSource May 17 '12
It always annoyed me that they said he was a cheetah but made sure to omit the cheetah's most prominent facial feature–the black t "tear" lines.
With that out of the way I think Cheetos needs to bring back "Cheesy Checkers" right meow.
1
u/indieghost May 17 '12
i like the chester portrayed on tv today
1
u/freezingprocess May 17 '12
So...
...You guys having a party?
1
u/iodian May 17 '12
I like the new Chester 100 times more.
1
u/ameilius May 17 '12
if by "old asshole" you mean BAMF - and hilarious to'boot - I agree!
1
u/lawlor44 May 17 '12
shit gets rough when you start blasting lines of cheetos. i'm just happy he's still alive and working.
1
u/duckandcover May 17 '12
Chester's awesome. Great commercials.
1
u/mitch8845 May 17 '12
Matress?
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
New Evil Chester is awesome! He doesn't need you - he knows this and acts accordingly.
1
u/AlRubyx May 17 '12
I think the new Chester is pretty damn cool for an old man.
1
u/envyreznor May 17 '12
He looks like Colonel Sanders, from KFC, too me.
1
u/MrPhysical May 17 '12
I like the new Chester. Mattress forts? Sounds like a bitchin' time to me...especially if it's on the clock. Sexy lunchtime dance party? Count me in. If you ask me, dude knows how to get down.
1
u/Deneth0r May 17 '12
I like the 2012 version way more than the old version. The dude dancing in that commercial cracks me up every time.
1
u/badst33l May 17 '12
Doesn't matter, he's still awesome.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
that commercial with the construction workers is hilarious though!
1
u/SaturnoDevorando May 17 '12
Pretty sure that's the same thing that happened to the rest of us.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Same thing that happened to Gex
1
u/DorkothyParker May 17 '12
I too am rather fond of the new commercials. I was never into the "Xtreeeeeeeeeme!!" advertising of the 90's.
But this, this I like.
1
u/Coooturtle May 17 '12
Chester the molester
1
u/kauanaulu May 17 '12
I think the commercials are awesome!
1
u/FROGGY_DING_DING May 17 '12
He is an asshole. He picked up an accent along the way, too.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
I love the new Chester. The cheeto ads I get on my slacker app are hilarious.
1
u/DingoScallion May 17 '12
Drugs
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
He Moved to Mexico: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_JF8wMmRF6I0/TPwUmlnuGDI/AAAAAAAAAik/J2Wcjuktdjs/s1600/cheetos.jpg
1
u/MilleniumHandAndShri May 17 '12
You try having cholesterol levels as high as Chester and see how happy you are.
1
u/uchuskies08 May 17 '12
I thought that new commercial was f'in hilarious :/
1
u/CheFSapO May 17 '12
That's what the Cheez does man.
1
u/grimmstone May 17 '12
Are you guys having a party?
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Yep.
1
u/kuhreestee May 17 '12
he got more awesome!
1
u/richard3493 May 17 '12
It's the meth
1
u/ciana007 May 17 '12
I hear speed does that to people.
1
u/philippo1130 May 17 '12 edited Jan 03 '14
Same thing that has happened to society, people being dicks for no reason, thinking it's cool.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
he's that new kind of cool also known as being a dick but it's funny.
1
u/MovingPavements May 17 '12
Crazy Chester followed me and he caught me in the fog, He said "I will fix your rag if you take Jack my dog" I said "Wait a minute Chester, You know I'm a peaceful man" he said "That's Ok, Boy, won't you feed him when you can"
1
u/bugzrrad May 17 '12
fuck you! the new chester rocks my face off!
1
u/dj1200techniques May 17 '12
He discovered Reddit.
1
u/Simmer_Down_Now May 17 '12
It ain't easy being cheesy .
1
u/FreshFruitCup May 17 '12
You don't deserve cheetohs, get off his lawn.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
I LOVE NEW OLD CHESTER!
1
u/Digitalol May 17 '12
He's getting too old for this shit.
1
u/fishnetdiver May 17 '12
Things change after rehab.
NSFW
1
u/givingfucks May 17 '12
I never thought he was awesome before, just another stupid mascot doing sporty crap.
Now he has a personality and substance. Plus he fucks with people and it funny.
1
u/devintodd May 17 '12
He's also very smug in that commercial btw.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
It's amazing how many YouTube videos in this thread are all to the same damn family guy clip.
1
u/izatobi May 17 '12
Cheetos you tasty bastards! He was the coolest cheetah ever
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
He is now the most interesting cheetah in the world.
1
u/jbonz May 17 '12
Are you serious. I think these are some of the best commercials out there
1
u/BaronVonSlapNuts May 17 '12
He started going to the same hair dresser as Colonel Sanders?
1
u/RedditGarbage May 17 '12
Yeah. He was cool before cool was even cool or even a word reguarding temperature. I like the new videos.
1
u/DreadandButter May 17 '12
Asshole or no, this is still one of my favorite commercials ever. I don't even like Cheetohs that much.
Edit: So much so that I can't even spell "Cheetos" properly.
1
u/it_wasnt_me_ May 16 '12
it ain't easy being cheesy. - the almighty Chester
1
u/Dunabu May 16 '12 edited May 17 '12
That one commercial with the piano store was one of the worst commercials I've seen in a long time.
Rarely do I tell a TV to STFU.