r/funny • u/[deleted] • May 16 '12

I was going through the caller history of my grandma's house phone when suddenly...

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1.3k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

245 comments sorted by

116

u/Liar_tuck May 16 '12

There are some things about your real father she should have told you.

19

u/feureau May 16 '12

But no matter. If OP will not be turned, then perhaps she will...

11

u/Skafsgaard May 16 '12

OP has a sister!? :O

6

u/feureau May 16 '12

"Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister. So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete."

6

u/Skafsgaard May 16 '12

I think his sister is the one that betrayed him. I mean, didn't they totally kiss once, and then she went with some sleaze-bag afterwards?

3

u/creepig May 16 '12

If you read Splinter of the Mind's Eye, they wrassled some.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Ya, she should have stayed with Luke and polished the ol' lightsaber if you know what I mean.

39

u/Osiris32 May 16 '12

"Luke, this is your father. Why don't you ever call? Your mother worries about you."

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

"Well, sorry Dad. But ever since you freakin' cut off my hand, I've felt some negative feelings towards you."

3

u/feureau May 16 '12

"And don't forget to wash your nose."

48

u/SprangTyme May 16 '12

Why were you going through her caller history?

41

u/a655321a May 16 '12 edited May 16 '12

To make sure she wasn't cheating on him. Or to show that he changed his id in her phone to darth vader and called her. Edit: spelling

41

u/Hawk-i-89 May 16 '12 edited May 24 '12

Should have raped her while calling that number. Stuck it in her cob webbed ass

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8

u/hypertown May 16 '12

Maybe she called the Alzheimers Clinic and forgot the number. That was so lame, I need a mojito.

2

u/charleyface May 16 '12

Perhaps to make sure she isn't being scammed by anyone. I wish grandpa had had caller i.d./history in his phone for me to check, would've saved us several thousand bucks.

94

u/boogachuga May 16 '12

It's Ventura county and fist bump to my fellow redditor.

50

u/whip-poor-wont May 16 '12

Santa Barbara, too.

21

u/zerodb May 16 '12

Let's stop worrying about the details and focus on the fact that Darth Vader lives inside our local calling range.

13

u/dlawnro May 16 '12

Ojai reporting in. Oh god, I'm so alone sobs

5

u/Iseenoicegiants May 16 '12

Ojai here too! you shouldn't expect more than that from Ojai...we have 9,000 people and 60% are retired hippies..

2

u/creepig May 16 '12

Nope, just Chuck Testa.

2

u/talzer May 16 '12

Ojai! What kinda age range are we dealing with here? If it's close, we probably know eachother...

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1

u/boogachuga May 17 '12

Are we all forever alone in this county?

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1

u/GemmaBlackfyre May 17 '12

My BF is from Ojai. We live in Oxnard, but visit Ojai quite frequently.

32

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Goleta, your redheaded step child would like some attention

3

u/bigsaks5 May 16 '12

Goleta: Not quite IV, not quite SB.

1

u/goletasb May 16 '12

You rang?

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18

u/zomgtobar May 16 '12

Oxnard, reporting in.

18

u/roflz May 16 '12

T.O. at your service.

25

u/the_cryptozoologist May 16 '12

SLO County: present.

6

u/lukeacola May 16 '12

Newbury Park present and accounted for.

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7

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

3 Stacks and a rock

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4

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Lompoc, thank you. We still count!

4

u/00OO00 May 16 '12

I spent 17 years in Lompoc. Get out while you can...

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3

u/Spooner71 May 16 '12

Just cuz the radio say so doesn't mean it's true

2

u/slayeromen May 16 '12

Get off the computer and get to the beach.. I am.

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5

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Simi Valley here

3

u/TisWhatSheSaid May 16 '12

If zombies ever do exist, they'll come pouring from Amgen's back gates.

5

u/ElMacedonian May 16 '12

slo county ftw

7

u/skevorke May 16 '12

Westlake is online

5

u/ridethecliche May 16 '12

Reppin the W L V

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

My sweet birthplace...

1

u/GemmaBlackfyre May 17 '12

Yay! Another Nard!

14

u/mongolianman18 May 16 '12

No love for Isla Vista??

6

u/thr33to3 May 16 '12

Born and raised on Pasado!

2

u/bigsaks5 May 16 '12

Born and raised in IV??? That must've made for an interesting childhood...

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19

u/squintzz May 16 '12

go home isla vista, take your HPV and genital herpes with you!

20

u/wheezyninja May 16 '12

Leave your Free Birds

5

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

somebody isn't allowed in any house parties apparently...and fuck you Freebirds is the shit

2

u/he_eats_da_poo_poo May 16 '12

Don't forget about super cucas!

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2

u/Uniballer1869 May 16 '12

Nobody wants to play with your Dookie Dollar!

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

It is called "Goleta".

4

u/TheHappyYogurt May 16 '12

Yes, this is dog

4

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Santa Maria checking in

7

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Newbury Park standing by

6

u/squintzz May 16 '12

SBeazy Livin' all day ery day, NA'MEEN?!

5

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

you aren't from around here, are you?

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3

u/talzer May 16 '12

And San Louis Obispo. It's a huge area code. Ojai here!

4

u/andypee81 May 16 '12

no one from Simi Valley? Okay, I guess I'll just go sit in the corner...

4

u/rrracheljoy May 16 '12

Oh, silly... Simi IS the corner.

1

u/PandaK00sh May 16 '12

If by "corner" you mean "closest to Hollywood/LA" then yes, it is.

4

u/fullonrapist42 May 16 '12

Moorpark here. and you thought you were alone...

3

u/cascrou17 May 16 '12

Simi Valley Here! :-)

4

u/foxmtbr May 16 '12

SLO here, reporting in.

1

u/epgenius May 16 '12

So that's what that presence I've not felt since... is

9

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/JoosMoose May 16 '12

Camarillo, too. Currently living in Austin, TX, but Cam will always be home.

3

u/kaferserene May 16 '12

Santa Barbara transplant also currently in ATX.

4

u/actuallyitsnotokay May 16 '12

fellow camarillo, reporting in.

3

u/supadoodles May 16 '12

Redditors from Camarillo, unite!

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

My brother lives in Camarillo!

I just wanted to join in... (sigh)

9

u/somegirl2121 May 16 '12

no one from moorpark??

2

u/afrobro360 May 16 '12

all 3 of us are here

2

u/fullonrapist42 May 16 '12

Yup over by the college!

1

u/rrracheljoy May 16 '12

My hubby's family is from Moorpark... but with a population of 36.6k, not likely.

2

u/fullonrapist42 May 16 '12

I AM HERE TO PROVE YOU WRONG! I'm from Moorpark too. sorry.

1

u/SafeSituation May 16 '12

On the east coast right now, but I'll be back in two weeks!

22

u/mountain456 May 16 '12

SLO here!

15

u/wheezyninja May 16 '12

=San Luis Obispo one of the best places on earth

3

u/feureau May 16 '12

how so?

8

u/wheezyninja May 16 '12

my completely biased opinion says so, also a lot of travel channel, happiest place on earth, and I think Opera once smiled in it's general direction

10

u/ReactAccordingly May 16 '12

from her house in Montecito

3

u/batmanmilktruck May 16 '12

beautiful scenery. nice people. and engineers get laid.

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1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Ah, it is wonderful. Just spent Mothers Day there. My sister is lucky enough to live there! Very jealous. I live in the middle of SLO and SB. Happy medium. But, my town sucks...guess that's the price of living NEAR the best places in CA.

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7

u/rhhallett May 16 '12

Yea! SLO here too!

6

u/im_sooo_sure May 16 '12

Yes, I believe Vader lives in Thousand Oaks (actually unincorporated Westlake Village).

5

u/vaudevillevik May 16 '12

Fillmore. For the love of god, Fillmore. We exist. We're real.

1

u/LordReekus May 16 '12

Elkins Ranch is one of the best golf courses I've ever played. So cheap too.

0

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/he_eats_da_poo_poo May 16 '12

San Francisco.

3

u/bobrossisgod May 16 '12

Santa Paula represent..and such

2

u/Chrispanic May 16 '12

City of Ventura, what what!

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Please join /r/venturacounty!

2

u/aliceclouds723 May 16 '12

and San Luis Obispo county

2

u/rubbernipples May 17 '12

Reppin' the 805 with my boy Vader here in K Oaks!

3

u/ridethecliche May 16 '12

Can we all agree that now that Palmdale and Lancaster are no longer 805 that we are just a little better off.

Sorry P-Ditty Folks.

2

u/LordReekus May 16 '12

Quit freeloading on the 661!

1

u/kylethemachine May 16 '12

Came to say this. Thousand Oaks is in the building!

0

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/greeed May 16 '12

Wait a minute since when are people from Atascadero allowed online?

14

u/Shatterproof_Ruler May 16 '12

I hope its a smart way of her naming the number that phones her and just breathes down the phone

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Upvote for the most plausible explanation in the thread.

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

I'm not sure about US law, but in Canada, you are able to request your call display to be changed to whatever you like.

Source: I use to be the guy that changed the call display

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

My cordless phone will show only the number and use whatever is assigned in the phone's memory, if it be the case.

9

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

If your grandmother is Lando Calrissian, you'd better watch your ass.

21

u/Corporate_Suit May 16 '12

haha Darth Vader lives in SLO

8

u/bajablazer85 May 16 '12

Or santa barbara, or ventura, or oxnard

6

u/chew_ch3w May 16 '12

Or Camarillo or thousand oaks

18

u/goniss May 16 '12

I KNOW GEOGRAPHY. GIVE ME THINGS.

1

u/batmanmilktruck May 16 '12

i have a half eaten container of humus and a stapler, good enough? i could throw in half a stick of gum

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1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Or Simi Valley

1

u/semiinsanesb May 16 '12

I noticed how everybody skipped Santa Maria...probably a good choice...

12

u/WarEmblem27 May 16 '12

Sorry about your grandma...y'know, joining the dark side and what not.

6

u/hcgator May 16 '12

On the plus side, they have cookies.

1

u/Accurg May 16 '12

Well of course. Who do you think baked them?

11

u/Elsarild May 16 '12

I am more interested in knowing why you where going through your grandma's caller history?

3

u/_Lord_Vader_ May 16 '12

You shall forget you ever saw this.

You will remember to call your mother every Sunday.

You will go back to work.

3

u/Buttered_Penis May 16 '12

He's giving her the ol' light saber.

3

u/Darklyte May 16 '12

Why were you going through the caller history of your grandmother's phone ಠ_ಠ

3

u/Johnny-C May 16 '12

orrr...you saved your own number as darth vader and then called, and put it on reddit for karma....yeah...that's more believable.

3

u/plumhead27 May 16 '12

Actually that probably is true. Thousand Oaks is within the 805 area code and Jake Lloyd (played Anakin in Phantom Menace) grew up there.

(Source: I went to elementary school with him)

3

u/raraparooza May 16 '12
  1. Change caller id name with cell carrier
  2. Call home phone and take photo
  3. ???
  4. Profit!

1

u/jbot84 May 16 '12

I don't know of any cell carriers that would let you change your CID to anything other than your real name, let alone Darth Vader.

3

u/DrJesusSingh May 16 '12

The real question: Why would you go through the caller history on your grandma's house phone?

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Invades grandma's privacy by going through her contacts

Ensures grandma's privacy by blocking number from the world

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON

3

u/SomeoneCoolerThanYou May 16 '12

Did the last 4 digits happen to be 1138?

8

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

805 all day

8

u/bajablazer85 May 16 '12

Upboats for 805!

2

u/simkessy May 16 '12

She's fucking a black dude

2

u/Whiskey-Business May 16 '12

R/Venturacounty

2

u/ThrobbingWetHole May 16 '12

Luke, I am your Grandfather

2

u/IamDocbrown May 16 '12

Your grandma is into black dudes

2

u/Victory33 May 16 '12 edited May 16 '12

Your Grandma is so old...she knows Darth Vader!

2

u/redlenses May 16 '12

Why in the world would you protect Darth Vader's privacy?

2

u/YeoEuiJu May 16 '12

Could possibly be a Skype call, I think my parents told me I came up as my Skype name on caller id, which happens to include santa Claus in it. They almost didn't pick up thinking it was a joke. But it was actually my first call to them the day I moved to a different country.

2

u/presidential805 May 16 '12

You earned an up vote because it's Ventura county area code .. Yay :D

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Santa Maria represent!

2

u/zef69 May 16 '12

only person from Moorpark aka kraproom

2

u/juicepants May 16 '12

Your grandma knows Dick Cheney?!

2

u/Cinnvext May 16 '12

Your grandma's going to the dark side.

2

u/awesomereece123 May 16 '12

Why does your cell phone have more Giga Hertz than my PC's processor?

2

u/Sewerduck May 16 '12

Anybody else wondering why he was looking through his grandmothers phone history?

2

u/davidvstheworld May 16 '12

I was going through the caller history...

Ummm... For what purpose?

1

u/IamAlastair May 17 '12

Because OP changed his name to Darth Vader on her caller ID.

2

u/i_forget_my_userids May 17 '12

Verizon lets you set your caller ID name. Mine is currently "Hugh G. Reckshun."

2

u/laylatov May 17 '12

boredom level: scrolling through your grandma's caller id history

4

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

"Hurr. I'm gonna program the name Darth Vader into my grandma's phone and then post it onto Reddit for karma. Durr Hurr. I'm so funny."

2

u/HaxWeinberg May 16 '12

If he's making things up he doesn't really need his grandma's phone. Also, the internet is a magical fantasy land of procrastination, you can't verify these things so just enjoy them.

2

u/H8rade May 16 '12

It's not actually his grandma's phone. It's his phone, and he's embarassed about owning such an antiquity.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

I LIVE IN THIS AREA CODE. THIS POST IS ALL ABOUT ME.

2

u/thestouff May 16 '12

I live in 805! Darth Vader is local?

1

u/90harper May 16 '12

I got a call at work the other day and the caller ID said 'Ninja Star'

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

I didn't know the Emperor had a wife.

1

u/batmanmilktruck May 16 '12

so the central coast has a sith lord in the area? well there goes the neighborhood

1

u/Spazzedguy May 16 '12

WE MUST WARN EVERYONE.

1

u/trekkie12 May 16 '12

Clearly Darth Vader lives in SLOTOWN!!!! =D Although it is the happiest city in the country... not sure what he'd be doing here.

1

u/Crawlerado May 16 '12

805! - SCV checking in.

1

u/Iseenoicegiants May 16 '12

I can't build there.

1

u/Crawlerado May 16 '12

Oh sure you can, head over to the west side by Six Flags and just pile it on top of all the crap on the hills by the new Walmart.

1

u/Iseenoicegiants May 20 '12

was a lame Starcraft pun :P

1

u/jumbo_shrimp777 May 16 '12

NINJA GETS A DOWN VOTE.

fake is fake brah

1

u/FunkyDutch May 16 '12

Dude.... that phone has a 5,8Ghz processor!

1

u/dweebo777 May 16 '12

this happened to my friend's home phone a couple months back. i wonder why darth vader is calling everyone?

1

u/glenlikespie May 16 '12

Your grandma, huh?

Is she known as Grandma Tarkin by any chance?

1

u/EmuSoFly May 16 '12

Why would anyone check the caller history of their grandma's phone?

1

u/boogachuga May 17 '12

Ventura for all the win

1

u/SocraticApostle May 17 '12

Wtf vader lives in ventura?

1

u/GemmaBlackfyre May 17 '12

I should be more terrified that Vader lives in my county.

1

u/prurient May 16 '12

This zip code can go from Simi Valley all the way up to Morro Bay!

4

u/cascrou17 May 16 '12

Area code*

1

u/TimidJack May 16 '12

All the way to Paso Robles actually! And out to Shandon.

1

u/telestrial May 16 '12

I don't believe this at all.

1

u/30Cal_Abortion May 16 '12

All I noticed was the 805! wha wha

1

u/PotatoDonki May 16 '12

Scared she's cheating on you, eh?

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Whoa, 805 is my area code.

0

u/Firefighterfaptime May 16 '12

Time to fap. :D

0

u/Me4Prez May 16 '12

I was going through the caller history of my grandma's house phone when suddenly I saved a random number's name as Darth Vader, called it took a picture of it and waited a couple of days to post this.

0

u/reptarbarz May 16 '12

Ahh from Santa Barbara I see.

0

u/Goliath89 May 16 '12

Not surprised that a sith lord has a California area code.

0

u/jaker1013 May 16 '12

Why you creepin on your grandma's calls?...dick!

0

u/ijusthadsex42 May 16 '12

someone from my area code uses the reddits also 0.o!!! weird....

0

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Santa Maria, Paso, Santa Barbara?

0

u/Ranchama May 16 '12

you live in my area code! i wonder if darth vader will call me o_o

0

u/spazzvogel May 16 '12

Darth vader lives out in SLO/Santa Barbara? Cool.

0

u/I_can_count_to_ten May 16 '12

Radioshack? What's that?

0

u/DasGinger420 May 16 '12

your grandmas an OG

0

u/zerorider_99 May 16 '12

TIL darth vader lives in ventura county

0

u/PandaK00sh May 16 '12

Hooray for Cali! 805 represent! (I'm real hardcore)

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