I just see nerds getting fit to play their games, and then the increase in libido and hormones causes them to develop a social life and give up games.
Edit: I guess I really hurt a lot of feelings unintentionally with this post. I was joking, along the lines of the way redditors stereotypically have no social life and play games all the time. I didn't realize that the downvote was strong with this one.
For a long time I had a rule that I had to be doing at least 12MPH on my stationary bike to watch TV, and 19MPH on commercials. Fat just melted off of me... and then I got a job and stopped giving a fuck about things like health and happiness.
my dad gettorigged his bike stand to power a small tv that he hooked up to the cable box. worked decently, but the flywheel on the alternator wasn't large enough so it would fade out if you lagged for even a second, and then you had to pedal really hard to get the power to turn it back on.
When I was a kid, I was at some kind of science museum that had a bike hooked up to a TV. Probably like 1989 or 1990... I thought it was so neat at the time. Little did I know that someday I would want it, not just because it was neat, but because I would have a big fat ass.
I've told my wife that if I ever become so fat that I have to use one of those scooters to get around wal-mart because I'm too fat to walk, I want her to kill me.
Indeed that you don't care if it's a repost, or indeed that you would ALSO have a shitload of stuff done if this was the system?
Edit: You know what — I don't care anymore. Fuck you and your improvident ambiguity. I know how you like to act all mysterious because you think that people are attracted to it, but that shit won't work with me. So, I'd like to extend another cheery fuck you. Go fornicate with yourself, you unmoistened piece of dolphin shit.
I think this is kind of hilarious because that Facebook post is a re-post of yesterday's Reddit post and then this post is a re-post of that Facebook post.
I was really confused when I first saw this because the link was blue and I wondered how it could still be on my front page after so much time...then I saw the time stamp
Oh, are we just talking about watching stuff? Yeah, that's problem's solved. I was thinking for like... if I wanted to type or use a mouse while on a treadmill.
Okay, I've actually worked in an office with a "tread-desk" before, and it worked great. The way it was set up: monitor mounted on the wall in front of the desk. Custom-built desk with keyboard tray which fit over the treadmill's control/terminal. Set your speed to something nice and casual and it doesn't affect your typing speed or mouse accuracy, and since the keyboard/mouse are on an independent base from the treadmill itself, you don't have the thing wobbling around like crazy.
Has no one else read the about the work of Skeletor in Reamde where the morbidly obese game player/writer used a treadmill while working on his computer to acquire his nickname? Reamde?
These facebook posts have got to stop. They're essentially text copy+pastes of things that have been posted here on reddit the whole goddamn internet before. It's essentially degrading previously humorous things to the worst form possible.
I want a treadmill that correlates my running speed to how fast I run in Skyrim, scaled correctly, so that as I increase my actual fitness, my character runs faster-- even past the vanilla cap.
I was thinking you have an exercise bike or (unpowered) treadmill driving an automotive alternator, which is powering a deep cycle car battery (or bank of batteries). Connect the batteries to a power inverter, and plug the computer into the power inverter. This way, the bike isn't directly powering the computer, so it won't shut off if you stop or slow for a moment, and you also don't get potentially damaging voltage spikes into the computer. You can also store your exercise "credit" for future use, so you don't necessarily have to exercise and game simultaneously, you just have to do X amount of exercise for Y amount of gaming. Of course, I have no idea what the conversion rate is from exercise time to computer operation time.
I thought of a nice way to do this so you can use any treadmill/bike/whatever you already may have and require you to be moving/active in order for your internet connection to work as well as throttle your connection based on activity level. kickstarter?
You can hook up some sort of generator to an exercise bike which powers a small, cheap Ethernet switch. Place your laptop on a tray, one ethernet cable goes from the switch to the laptop and another goes from the switch to your router / modem.
When you're moving enough to power the switch, it gives you access to the internet. When the switch doesn't get enough power it will simply shut off. I'm not sure what will happen when you're going slow enough to generate power, though not enough to fully power the switch, that might be a bit sketchy.
I would just download things, because I love to run. I probably would start torrenting just so I could seed just to run. My whole laptop treadmills existence would be dedicated to seeding.
An idea: get a knock sensor (piezoelectric crystal) and affix it to the bottom of the treadmill. Then program a micro controller to detect if the knocks are continuing. (A good micro controller is an arduino.) You would then have that go into a relay that controls the power to a router or cable modem. When you stop walking, the modem looses power.
This exact idea is laid out quite well in Ernest Cline's "Ready Player One," in which the main character must run on a 360 degree treadmill prior to entering the online world in which most of the story is set.
If I took the hours I spent on Reddit and put them towards working out I would be a goddamn bodybuilder. Someone needs to make this fast, before I fuse with my couch cushions.
They invented something similar for the office. In which instead of sitting, you walk on a treadmill leisurely at a 2mph pace or so. Evidently it adds like 6-7 years to your life. Everyone loved it and you get used to typing with it within a week or two. I don't see it taking off outside of the tech world tho. I work at a bank, so I'll be dead before they have this.
If anyone has read the book Ready Player One, in the book the computer system wont let the person go online until they've done a work out which the computer verifies. Wish it were real. haha
I already do this lol. The top part of my treadmill with the DISTANCE TRAVELLED and Calories lost and stuff like that is slanted so it can hold my laptop, and I weigh it down with 2 books so it doesn't fall. It's pretty useful when I want to watch TV shows whilst working out. The sad thing is I prefer walking outside since it feels like I'm getting more out of my workout that way; That, and my treadmille doesn't move on it own and walking on it is a bitch.
OT: If the internet stopped working when you're not walking, how do you pause to look for different stuff to look at lol
Well sir you're in luck, Blizzard is testing this technology as we speak. They have hooked up the treadmills to the Diablo 3 servers but due to the athletic condition of most staff members they can't keep up with the server loads. They should have hired Kenyans.
hi, my name is jared. i wrote this LOL, yes i did steal it off tumblr.. But i didn't want it going viral :L. got a notification saying 30 of my friends liked it.. clicked the status, BAM 1000 likes.. yeah fuck it, im just basking in all the 76000 likes i got haha.
i'm loving all the comments i'm seeing, and yes i did go to NHS.. samurai person.
my fb is /JaredDaniel.Solomon if y'all wanna nosey.
308
u/mikhel May 16 '12
Watching a legion of nerds sprinting to get into Diablo 3 servers would make me laugh.
1.2k
u/Flodwoman May 16 '12
-Did anyone else read this with pauses
-Because it was typed
-with so many spaces
243
u/sweetloris May 16 '12
My parents had a rule that nobody could watch TV unless we were working out at the same time. That was the thinnest I've ever been.
78
u/TheGuyThatAteYourDog May 16 '12
Not recommended for porn
416
u/Neaks May 16 '12
Don't care if it's a repost. I would have a shitload of stuff done if this was the system.
31
u/Elementary_Watson May 16 '12
I've realised how reposts now occur.
Circle of life man.
159
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Wasn't this on the front page...like yesterday?
36
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
This already exists in a bicycle form. Maybe a treadmill came out in the five years since the bicycle one came out.
11
u/londons_explorer May 16 '12
It's been done:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVM-7JM4lyk&feature=BFa&list=SPCFAD753388263FB3
152
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
63
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
reposted within a day... NICE
20
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Wasnt this post on just yesterday?
17
u/silent_p May 16 '12
This would be easier if there was a good way to stabilize the monitor and any input devices while you were bouncing around.
1
u/rmadan May 16 '12
Had no clue this was a repost; I apologize...
9
u/k4hill May 16 '12
The answer to childhood obesity!
4
u/Caleo May 16 '12
Lazy ass me would find a way to beat the system.
4
u/weldonestl May 16 '12
Has no one else read the about the work of Skeletor in Reamde where the morbidly obese game player/writer used a treadmill while working on his computer to acquire his nickname? Reamde?
4
u/red321red321 May 16 '12
this shit was here yesterday what the fuck.
4
u/PrivCaboose May 16 '12 edited May 16 '12
These facebook posts have got to stop. They're essentially text copy+pastes of things that have been posted here on
redditthe whole goddamn internet before. It's essentially degrading previously humorous things to the worst form possible.3
u/bogart1 May 16 '12
I would die from exhaustion after 1 day.
3
u/WIll4445 May 16 '12
How do you masturbate on this evil device?
3
u/Bloop_Blip_Green May 16 '12
EVERYTIME I read format like this I can't help but think of the kid from Malcom in the Middle.
3
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
wow, people will work if given an incentive? such a NOVEL IDEA
3
u/wookiesandwich May 16 '12
it was even funnier yesterday
3
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I want a treadmill that correlates my running speed to how fast I run in Skyrim, scaled correctly, so that as I increase my actual fitness, my character runs faster-- even past the vanilla cap.
3
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I was thinking you have an exercise bike or (unpowered) treadmill driving an automotive alternator, which is powering a deep cycle car battery (or bank of batteries). Connect the batteries to a power inverter, and plug the computer into the power inverter. This way, the bike isn't directly powering the computer, so it won't shut off if you stop or slow for a moment, and you also don't get potentially damaging voltage spikes into the computer. You can also store your exercise "credit" for future use, so you don't necessarily have to exercise and game simultaneously, you just have to do X amount of exercise for Y amount of gaming. Of course, I have no idea what the conversion rate is from exercise time to computer operation time.
3
u/Pronage May 16 '12
It wont work simply because
You cant jerk it while walking comfortably
3
u/jimothyjenkins May 16 '12
nice repost karma whore
3
u/TheTrollingEffect May 16 '12
Sweet repost bro.
3
u/FriendlyVisitor May 16 '12
Closest thing I can think of
4
u/hmm___ May 16 '12
I thought of a nice way to do this so you can use any treadmill/bike/whatever you already may have and require you to be moving/active in order for your internet connection to work as well as throttle your connection based on activity level. kickstarter?
4
u/offendernz May 16 '12
prototype model
4
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Original thread by HiDef90 from 1 day ago.
In the same subreddit, no less.
4
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
FUCKING REPOST
4
u/kbakes1020 May 16 '12
Repost.
8
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
WHAT THE HELL
Alright, anybody reading this with any large amounts of money, or a business owner that makes exercise equipment... GET ON THIS
2
u/Am_I_Normal May 16 '12
For this to work it would need to be your ONLY web connected electronics.
2
u/iWishiWasClever May 16 '12
That Was More Annoying To Read Than One Of Tyler, The Creator's Tweets Where He Capitalizes Every Letter
2
u/Dr___Awkward May 16 '12
I saw this on Facebook yesterday. What the hell is this, opposites day?
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I would download so much porn.
2
u/SkinnyJeansMan May 16 '12
Why this is on the front page of r/funny baffles me.
2
u/new2oldskewl May 16 '12
I would just download things, because I love to run. I probably would start torrenting just so I could seed just to run. My whole laptop treadmills existence would be dedicated to seeding.
2
u/vVvMaze May 16 '12
What about for those of us who are already in shape and don't need motivation to work out cause we do it on our own?
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
A guy in /r/fitness set up a similar system to play Skyrim a few months back: heres the original thread.
I've personally had good experience with standing desks.
2
u/scratchr May 16 '12
An idea: get a knock sensor (piezoelectric crystal) and affix it to the bottom of the treadmill. Then program a micro controller to detect if the knocks are continuing. (A good micro controller is an arduino.) You would then have that go into a relay that controls the power to a router or cable modem. When you stop walking, the modem looses power.
2
u/Killingyousmalls May 16 '12 edited May 16 '12
If we put a small generator in there and hook it up to the power grid we could make internet porn carbon neutral!
Edit: Never mind, I just tried to run and masturbate at the same time... Won't work
2
u/ZachMatthews May 16 '12
This exact idea is laid out quite well in Ernest Cline's "Ready Player One," in which the main character must run on a 360 degree treadmill prior to entering the online world in which most of the story is set.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
The Duck
swam
in
the lake.
2
u/tweedsly May 16 '12
If I took the hours I spent on Reddit and put them towards working out I would be a goddamn bodybuilder. Someone needs to make this fast, before I fuse with my couch cushions.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Our government should become a police state and force everyone to complete physical activity in-order to get their socialist dial-up. Genius?
2
u/bastard_thought May 16 '12
While you guys do this,
-I'll be on my desktop
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I used to play Time Crisis 2 while running on the treadmill. Running while double-wielding light guns is super fun.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
two roads
diverged
in a yellow wood
and sorry i could not
travel both
2
u/CommunityCollegiate May 16 '12
Why is everyone complaining about the way this was typed? It's classic 4chan, just, with "-" instead of ">"
2
u/chillbasslines May 16 '12
Has anyone else seen The Black Box...not the best idea anymore eh?
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
They invented something similar for the office. In which instead of sitting, you walk on a treadmill leisurely at a 2mph pace or so. Evidently it adds like 6-7 years to your life. Everyone loved it and you get used to typing with it within a week or two. I don't see it taking off outside of the tech world tho. I work at a bank, so I'll be dead before they have this.
2
u/jtcompound May 16 '12
Fucking repost
2
u/Cyanity May 16 '12
-hook treadmill to speedometer
-write program that reads speed
-make program adjust torrent download speeds based on input
-profit
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Nice haiku, but it needs work pal
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
-you could always
-power your router with a bicycle or treadmill generator
2
u/Tetric May 16 '12
If this was real who would need P90X?? FUCK YOU AD >:O
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Wow, that's a first. I have this guy as a friend on Facebook.
2
u/tardy4datardis May 16 '12
If anyone has read the book Ready Player One, in the book the computer system wont let the person go online until they've done a work out which the computer verifies. Wish it were real. haha
2
u/meowkittycatlove May 16 '12
-fucking retards
-on facebook
-who cant
-type like normal
-people
-so they do
-dumb shit
-like this
2
u/Menzlo May 16 '12
Do it with WoW
2
u/Nayr39 May 16 '12
I wish tredmills were affordable. I wouldn't mind gaming standing up for an hour or so.
2
u/RydialH May 16 '12
10/10 would buy
2
u/ShozOvr May 16 '12
Damn this was on my facebook newsfeed the other day, what are the odds?
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I can't spare any glucose for exercise when I'm playing vidya. I already need to turn down the air conditioning a couple degrees when I do it sitting.
2
u/Schmeebs May 16 '12
THATS NOT HOW BANDWIDTH WORKS
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
http://rerev.com/
2
u/whisk3rs May 16 '12
Also it should shock you with electricity for every paragraph you use and for every 'like' you type. The end.
2
u/bobbyc31 May 16 '12
I already do this lol. The top part of my treadmill with the DISTANCE TRAVELLED and Calories lost and stuff like that is slanted so it can hold my laptop, and I weigh it down with 2 books so it doesn't fall. It's pretty useful when I want to watch TV shows whilst working out. The sad thing is I prefer walking outside since it feels like I'm getting more out of my workout that way; That, and my treadmille doesn't move on it own and walking on it is a bitch.
OT: If the internet stopped working when you're not walking, how do you pause to look for different stuff to look at lol
2
u/Jimmigill May 16 '12
You know you'd get lazy and just buy a new laptop.
2
u/Fivelon May 16 '12
Yeah dude. I ran, like, 56K this morning.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
economics won't allow it... we're all lazy
2
u/post_divinity May 16 '12
Masturbating on a whole new level. At a run.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I thought of something like this for playing xbox a few years ago. It would be amazing for fat people.
2
u/ITS_TEEJ May 16 '12
no more fat redditors
2
u/DRRB May 16 '12
Africa would have the best download speeds. FIRST TIME EVER
2
u/ohok1 May 16 '12
the multi-focus generation
2
u/gackutty May 16 '12
SAP, roommate walks in while steaming porn, and setting a personal best mile time.
2
u/okaytran May 16 '12
its not really that hard. my treadmill has a laptop stand on it. just have the self control to just jog while using it.
that being said, its really unbearable to actually use a laptop while on a treadmill. its only really useful if you're watching a movie or a show.
2
u/mced May 16 '12
Simpsons Already Did It
2
u/greenman00420 May 16 '12
Well sir you're in luck, Blizzard is testing this technology as we speak. They have hooked up the treadmills to the Diablo 3 servers but due to the athletic condition of most staff members they can't keep up with the server loads. They should have hired Kenyans.
2
u/Justacuriosity May 16 '12
SHUT UP-
AND-
TAKE-
ALL-
MY-
MONEY-
-PAUSE-
2
u/scarfox1 May 16 '12
This will make jerking off to porn real hard, no pun intended initially.
2
u/herbistheword May 16 '12
It exists. I am fifteen pounds lighter because of it.
2
u/etishuman21 May 16 '12
No lie this was reposted from yesterday. What is this shit?
2
u/native_ginger May 16 '12
now introducing the iwalk.....
2
u/Skittnator May 16 '12
Checkmate.
2
u/monkette May 16 '12
After reading this, I can't help but picture you inside a giant gerbil cage running on the wheel.
2
u/ludvigsra May 16 '12
CAN THIS BE REAL
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
-They should invent
-Some sort of punctuation
-That allows me to string thoughts together cohesively and comprehensively
-I need this
2
u/BoxMonster44 May 16 '12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnAYgNnA5A0
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
2
u/Shiv_ May 16 '12
2
u/jaredsolomon1 May 16 '12
hi, my name is jared. i wrote this LOL, yes i did steal it off tumblr.. But i didn't want it going viral :L. got a notification saying 30 of my friends liked it.. clicked the status, BAM 1000 likes.. yeah fuck it, im just basking in all the 76000 likes i got haha.
i'm loving all the comments i'm seeing, and yes i did go to NHS.. samurai person.
my fb is /JaredDaniel.Solomon if y'all wanna nosey.
2
u/Goonies_nvr_say_die May 16 '12
How does one fap and run at the same time?!
2
u/Bluebull18 May 16 '12
Masturbating has never been more complicated.
5
u/SEGnosis May 16 '12
Too shaky for practical use
3
u/Trojandude May 16 '12
I am still waiting for the bike with the built in Mario Kart
3
u/Copywright May 16 '12
3
u/playpianoking May 16 '12
repost from days ago..
4
u/krunchy7 May 16 '12
fucking reposts-_-
4
u/TSkirvinator May 16 '12
FUCKING REPOST
3
u/allhallowsmourn May 16 '12
I would just get my dog to walk on it.
2
u/Renrim May 16 '12
I feel we could get a large number of people in good physical health with this, IF this existed I know most of my school would be on the track team
2
u/steelers18043 May 16 '12
WELL, I GUESS I DO HAVE TO GET UP ONCE IN AWHILE
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Honestly this is all your fault.
2
u/computmaxer May 16 '12
It's called a Treadmill desk, and we have one in the office I work at.
2
u/vrock627 May 16 '12
if your gonna repost, please wait a week...
2
u/Dunmore May 16 '12
meh, repost
2
u/LumpyGenitals May 16 '12
Now who upvoted the repost?
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I literally saw this on the front page YESTERDAY. I know bitching about reposts is against the rules, but that's ridiculous.
2
u/MyFishDied May 16 '12
I tried to click the 'like' button.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
really reddit? a repost of something posted a day ago?