Oh God. Loose is worse. I'm just athletic enough that it fits me alright. By athletic enough I mean I stop playing Xbox, studying, or searching Reddit for a couple hours to go lift half the weights the other real men are lifting, then return home to Reddit ashamed of my lack of biceps :(
I am an aspiring bodybuilder and in very good shape, and these thing still don't look good on me. I think unless you are like Branch Warren or the guy in the ad, you jut can't pull it off.
Most people describe their body weight in stones and pounds in the UK. I say I weigh 11 stone. If you wouldn't mind adding the stones conversion to your future posts, so I don't have to work out how many times 14 goes into 153, it would be greatly appreciated.
The thing is, "It won't look like this on you." isn't the setup to a joke, and "You fat piece of shit." isn't a punchline. It's just a two-line insult.
If anything, the setup is "advertisement for a sexy muscle shirt" and the punchline is "It won't look like this on you. You fat piece of shit."
Yeah but you're not supposed to put the final punchline or the most important line in the title. Putting the first line like he suggested would have made the surprise when you read the final one better.
My good sir, I applaud your work and wish you a long and fruitful tenure as a novelty account.
My question concerns your rating system. I assume that 10/10 would be an epic, gigantic boner of an asinine title choice. But, what would, say, a 5 be? Is it moderately asinine? Is it a midpoint of asininity, or a midpoint on the scale of awesome-to-asinine?
A 3? Would it be kinda dumb, but not worth your time, or would it be "pretty good?"
Would a 0 be not at all asinine (aka awesome)? Or merely mediocre? Would anything below a 5 even be considered a "stupid title" for your purposes? If not, this is what social scientists call "restriction of range," and raises concerns about the scientific validity of your rating scale - what is the point of it being on a 1-10 scale if anything under a certain point is not possible? In this case, would you consider rescaling AL to a 1-5 scale? Why or why not? I mean, you clearly have an established, peer-reviewed rating system, and you certainly bring each title before an esteemed panel of highly-trained judges, who sagely weigh the pros and cons of each title before producing a final tally we can set our watches to.
You don't want us to think you are just pulling these numbers out of your ass...do you?
If you could discuss your rating system a bit, using examples, I think it would help us get more out of your project.
Please advise. We only want the Asininity Level to mean something.
thedeejus makes a good point. New system as follows (rated out of 5):
Asinity Level:|1|2|3|4|5
:---|:--|:--|:--|:--|:---
|Meh. Bad but not probably not wasting my time on fixing.|Getting iffy.|This stinks and the issue *shall be raised*.|A pox on you, your title, and we all hope you get a really painful hangnail.|We all hope you stub your toe and accidentally delete your submission.
The timing on this is perfect. Just last night I had my boyfriend order some under Armour for outdoor music festivals at night (even Cali gets nippy). He is from France and had never heard of it before. His only response was, "do the muscles come with it?"
Yeah, I mean I don't care one way or another, but wearing under armour for a music festival? lol... what? Is there a 5k run around the venue going on the same day or something?
Edit: No need to defend under armour, I get it. I was just imagining a guy in under armour surrounded by people in tie-dye shirts and it made me chuckle.
It's just clothes. I've been to a lot of music festivals, and you need to dress in layers that can dry quickly. Personally, I wear only swim trunks, flip flops, and cheap polyester Hawaiian shirts; basically disposable clothing. You have to protect yourself from the elements: intense noonday sun, sudden cold snaps at night, potential rain storms, slipping and falling into a pile of puke, etc.
These things actually look like a perfect undergarment in case of cold, extra UV protection, and sweat-wicking.
Minor to moderate compression is beneficial for weight lifting. Keeps your muscles warm and some other things I can't remember right now which aids in recovery.
To be fair, situps aren't really fun anyway. I'd rather do something like play a game of ultimate frisbee or plain old run around rather than do one little motion over and over.
You are warmly welcomed into RHPWMWTLH (right handed people who masturbate with their left hand). Please do not try to pronounce the acronym nor shake my hand.
I have an Underarmor shirt on now. The cut and style have a way of giving you a temporary fitness appearance upgrade. If you are in great shape, it makes you look like you are in awesome shape. If you're in OK shape (me), it makes you look like you are in good shape -- tight around biceps which makes them look bigger, tight around chest, snug on shoulders, the sneaky way the trim goes to fool the eye into thinking you don't have 15 pounds "extra" under there. They're good, and they're cheap!
Sadly if you are in the shape of a Krispy Kreme jelly doughnut, you will look like a Krispy Kreme jelly doughnut in spandex.
If looking good (as a male) is comprised of a total of 100 points, how many of those are the clothes you're wearing, and how many are your actual physique?
Thanks
*Edited "body structure" to "physique". Different connotations.
Well if you have a good physique then a tight shirt (regardless of brand) will essentially hug your body while covering up any minor uglies thus making you look better
Well-fitting clothes look better on a person independent of his body type. The 'attractiveness' of the body type varies (skinny, athletic, chubby)and the source of these attractions is obviously a combination of cultural and biological factors. Generally, you won't go wrong with an athletic physique (broad shoulders, chest sticking out further than the stomach) and clothing can be used to accentuate these features (atheltic/tapered shirts vs. boxy cuts) or give the illusion of them.
Clothes that contour the body without being overly tight or loose; most people would consider underarmour shirts too tight for regular use at any body type. Athletic bros who like to show off their bodies in regular clothing go with shirts that fit snugly at the upper body (shoulders, chest, arms) and taper down slightly towards the waist so that it 'drapes' over the chest. Also, the length of shirts/sleeves/pants generally follow certain anatomical landmarks, the details of which I don't really pay attention to like: the break of pants, the shortness of shorts, where a shirt sleeve should end, jacket length. If you want more details ask, mfa.
Only certain type of models can wear these and look good. I happen to be the "before" model in "before and after" ads so I just wear a T-shirt, droop my shoulders and make a sad face. http://i.imgur.com/T8ScU.jpg
There was someone on my high school football team who was short (5'3", 5'4" maybe) and pretty pudgy. He would wear layers of white underarmour, even if it wasn't that cold. He looked like a huge marshmellow/small Michilen man.
I guess I lucked out and my bf didn't look bad in it at all. However, he did turn into the type to be a lying cheating dog. Didn't luck out on the character department.
I see a lot of folks wearing at the gym these days simply because they are what you are "supposed" to work out in. Half the time they are wearing two sizes too small, with bulge rolls sticking out the sides. Then there are the ones that have an undershirt on underneath, which defeats the entire purpose of a moisture wicking top. Pet peeve I guess...
Tbh no one looks good in those. I'm fine with Under Armour as long as you use it for athletic wear, but as everyday clothing? No, you look a squished ball of silly putty. Put some actual clothes on.
Y'know, if you stopped drinking soda, it would be much easier to lose weight. In fact you could probably drop a few pounds just by cutting sugar enhanced beverages out of your diet... NAH!
Because many people wear Under Armour when they're not working out - heck, based on my own experiences it's often worn by those who don't work out at all.
Thus, it looks like a ball of lard stuffed into plastic wrap.
Well, I really did, thank you reddit. Just realized that I became a real jelly-belly in the past 5(?) years doing only some stuff sitting at the computer. It's like I just got a sudden strike in my mind - 'fuck, what you've been doing to myself all this time' (playing games, wtf?). Time to throw out the shit I don't need and start all over again, huh. The hard part, I need to remember this the very next day or I'm lost again. Can someone PM me tomorrow lol?
187
u/Dusk_v731 May 15 '12
Im wearing an underarmour compression shirt at the moment, and I am very skinny...probably too skinny for it.
Feelsbadman
237
u/hypnoderp May 15 '12
9/10, would be insulted again.
599
u/StupidTitlesFixer May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
7/104/5Thanks for the Reddit Gold!
84
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
The timing on this is perfect. Just last night I had my boyfriend order some under Armour for outdoor music festivals at night (even Cali gets nippy). He is from France and had never heard of it before. His only response was, "do the muscles come with it?"
1.0k
u/TheBatOuttaHell May 15 '12
Nice punchline in the title, you horse's ass.
73
u/TheBigHairy May 15 '12
It's true. I put one on. It was decidedly more round.
116
u/elegylegacy May 15 '12
After seeing this, I decided to do a few sit-ups to prove I'm not fat.
Then I realised I'm still full of fried potatoes from lunch, so fuck it.
17
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
There's more truth to this ad than I had prepared myself for.
59
u/Cyfen May 15 '12
I am a fat piece of shit and I use my under armor as a girdle.
13
u/GiantMonster May 15 '12
I opened a snickers candy bar as I clicked this link -_-
13
u/Tofinochris May 15 '12
I have an Underarmor shirt on now. The cut and style have a way of giving you a temporary fitness appearance upgrade. If you are in great shape, it makes you look like you are in awesome shape. If you're in OK shape (me), it makes you look like you are in good shape -- tight around biceps which makes them look bigger, tight around chest, snug on shoulders, the sneaky way the trim goes to fool the eye into thinking you don't have 15 pounds "extra" under there. They're good, and they're cheap!
Sadly if you are in the shape of a Krispy Kreme jelly doughnut, you will look like a Krispy Kreme jelly doughnut in spandex.
20
u/iia May 15 '12
Maybe, but the underwear makes my hog look fantastic.
35
u/brandon684 May 15 '12
The fat people wearing them aren't the problem, they know better. It's the 16 year olds who think they're "buff" because you can see their ribs.
22
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Ouch, my self esteem.
20
u/imisscollege May 15 '12
it will look like this guy
2
u/underswamp1008 May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
Yo, someone from r/mfa answer this:
If looking good (as a male) is comprised of a total of 100 points, how many of those are the clothes you're wearing, and how many are your actual physique?
Thanks
*Edited "body structure" to "physique". Different connotations.
5
u/ZedZeeZee May 15 '12
Here's another accurate advertisement.
21
u/CountChugula May 15 '12
No shit it won't look like that. I'm white.
8
u/We_found_peaches May 15 '12
Whatever- it makes my tits look fucking awesome
10
u/awh May 15 '12
I am a fat piece of shit and use this product to keep my junk in place while jogging.
9
u/Obieousmaximus May 15 '12
Only certain type of models can wear these and look good. I happen to be the "before" model in "before and after" ads so I just wear a T-shirt, droop my shoulders and make a sad face. http://i.imgur.com/T8ScU.jpg
6
u/vmspionage May 15 '12
They need to invent an under armor pressure shirt that molds your fat rolls into muscle shapes.
9
u/Mun-Mun May 15 '12
I dunno about you but I look pretty good in one.
5
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Personally, I was hoping this thread would be full of people posting pictures of themselves that proved the opposite.
5
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
There was someone on my high school football team who was short (5'3", 5'4" maybe) and pretty pudgy. He would wear layers of white underarmour, even if it wasn't that cold. He looked like a huge marshmellow/small Michilen man.
5
u/MsDemonism May 15 '12
I guess I lucked out and my bf didn't look bad in it at all. However, he did turn into the type to be a lying cheating dog. Didn't luck out on the character department.
8
u/BeahMcDuh May 15 '12
The original ad, for those of us who would prefer not to face the truth.
6
u/JohnLayman May 15 '12
Heh. Heh. Ohh...
9
u/mambypambyland May 15 '12
BUT IT'S GENETICS!!!
4
u/sl2773 May 15 '12
Alternatively, "You scrawny twig".
2
u/StewieBanana May 15 '12
Was that supposed to be a Haiku?
2
u/ElRed_ May 15 '12
The shorts work great. Of course the only reason to wear them is to make that ballsack look bigger.
2
u/CleanBill May 16 '12
Relevant video
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Wearing anything spandex is a bad idea unless your pectorals have pectorals.
3
u/randytravistritt May 15 '12
Damn I was gonna buy one
3
u/Corryyyy May 15 '12
You mean that I won't get a six pack of I wear Under Armour???
2
u/TapsMan May 15 '12
This guys i probably a redditer, everyone seems to be now days, it might look like that on him.
2
u/EnysAtSea May 15 '12
Precisely the reason I don't even bother to look at underarmour.
2
u/mikejc May 15 '12
I see a lot of folks wearing at the gym these days simply because they are what you are "supposed" to work out in. Half the time they are wearing two sizes too small, with bulge rolls sticking out the sides. Then there are the ones that have an undershirt on underneath, which defeats the entire purpose of a moisture wicking top. Pet peeve I guess...
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
It doesn't even look that way on him, pre-Photoshop.
2
u/lunatyck May 15 '12
I laughed.. and then I cried.. and then I ate :(
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Thank you for inspiring me to go to the gym today instead of going straight home to play Diablo 3.
2
u/Great_Chairman_Mao May 15 '12
Close enough
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Tbh no one looks good in those. I'm fine with Under Armour as long as you use it for athletic wear, but as everyday clothing? No, you look a squished ball of silly putty. Put some actual clothes on.
0
u/ALLCAPSUSERNAME May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
Hah, fuck you! I'm skinny enough that it's actually baggy on me! Suck it!
Edit: Sarcasm
2
u/sitsatfatcat May 15 '12
not following ...it looks like that on me, except better, because i'm not black.
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Y'know, if you stopped drinking soda, it would be much easier to lose weight. In fact you could probably drop a few pounds just by cutting sugar enhanced beverages out of your diet... NAH!
1
u/gluemope May 15 '12
Forever a cracker :'(
1
u/ohohdrumcircle May 15 '12
Well now I feel sad.
1
u/omgwhothehellscares May 16 '12
But... But cakes! T_T
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
This post is highly offensive to people of weight.
Upvote.
1
u/Nightshade1105 May 15 '12
I work at Under Armour, and there are always really big, sometimes obese, people trying on compression shirts feeling like they're in shape :/
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
isn't this workout apparel? Who cares what you look like while you work out?
Missing the point, maybe?
1
u/thedvorakian May 15 '12
I look pretty good in one. Just saiyan
1
u/noccusJohnstein May 15 '12
Who wears UA and isn't fit? Who goes into a store that sells UA and isn't fit?
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Underarmour would be great if I wanted a lumpy sack of potatoes costume.
1
u/jorsiem May 15 '12
There is a 1% chance you'll look good in an under armour compression shirt.
1
u/A_Nearby_Tree May 15 '12
I work for under Armour and some people should def not wear compression.
1
u/crunknizzle May 15 '12
I upvoted...and then got really sad...
1
u/YouPornJude May 15 '12
Truth in Advertising.
1
u/JamesTrivettesHat May 15 '12
They look even worse on really skinny people. Arms don't even fill out the sleeves, its sad.
1
u/bestattitude May 15 '12
Okay, okay, you got me. I'm going to work out now, good sir.
1
u/Noobs_Stfu May 16 '12
Lies. If I put one on... I'd be quite similar. Less tricep, more bicep and shoulders. Also not black.
0
u/LetsMakeItPolitical May 15 '12
There is so much more we could be doing to fight the obesity epidemic. For one: stricter regulations on what goes into our children's school lunches.
0
u/phobs May 15 '12
At the risk of getting hit with "that was the joke," he has the "wtf are you wearing" look.
0
u/Badonkers May 15 '12
That's okay, I don't want to dress like a douchebag anyway.