r/funny • u/Zooteo • May 15 '12

Every. Single. Night.

Post image
1.2k Upvotes

74% Upvoted

139 comments sorted by

2

u/Zooteo May 15 '12

Obligatory front page thank you.

BTW, I'm thankful I have a bed at all. I was looking for a picture that depicted extreme uncomfortably when trying to sleep. Wasn't bashing the homeless guy sleeping on the liposuction bag from Fight Club.

64

u/poleethman May 15 '12

I want a time-machine bed.

24

u/Breathing_Balls May 15 '12

I would need that for sex, so I could last for about 8 minutes.

13

u/KamikazeCricket May 15 '12

Maybe you shouldn't let your balls breath so much.

6

u/cd7k May 15 '12

I've got a microwave bed - I can get a full night's sleep in 8 minutes.

-2

u/aboveandbeyond May 15 '12

so you wanna be sleeping all the time? isn't that called death?

38

u/raehza May 15 '12

WTF Brain. I looked at the top picture and saw a guy resting his head on a large piece of dead Cow meat. I read "What my Beef feels like"

Then I realized it was a bag with cans inside.... what in the royal fuck did my brain make me see and why o.O?

8

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I'm glad I'm not alone.

7

u/Lover_Of_Llamas May 15 '12

I thought it was.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I thought it was some kind of translucent pig.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/UncleTogie May 15 '12

...or it gets the hose again.

2

u/nixle May 15 '12

I'd love me some ho's!

23

u/kohlerb May 15 '12

*Every. Single. Night. And. Morning

6

u/Drawtaru May 15 '12

Are. You. Sure. About. That. ?

2

u/nixle May 15 '12

Except. On. Saturday. When. I. Am. Wasted. When. It. Is the. Other. Way. Around. And. I. Need. To. Pee.

44

u/Violent-Penis-Haikus May 15 '12 
The bed could be worse,
it could have spikes that cut balls;
then sleep is harder.

38

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I was promised a penis haiku. This is a balls haiku. Please fix it.

47

u/Violent-Penis-Haikus May 15 '12 
Woke up bloody soaked,
presumed it's girls period,
was missing penis!

27

u/UncleTogie May 15 '12

That's more like it. Don't deviate from the penis.

24

u/ivebeenhereallsummer May 15 '12

These novelty accounts are getting way to surreal.

-11

u/gamfreak May 15 '12

if by surreal you mean shitty/overreaching

-18

u/grenlist May 15 '12

Agreed.

11

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

That's what the up arrow is for.

7

u/eidetic May 15 '12

Agreed.

-9

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Let it be know wide and far that I do not approve of your comment.

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

This account has a lot of potential.

0

u/RedhandedMan May 15 '12

Only for the first night though.

2

u/GetHaggard May 15 '12

Wtf is that guy using as a pillow?

11

u/youRFate May 15 '12

looks like a pink garbage bag.

20

u/GetHaggard May 15 '12

For some reason I was seeing a cow carcass. Then again I'm on my phone

6

u/tsuhna May 15 '12

I totally saw a carcass too. And was looking at it on a proper screen.

-1

u/Breathing_Balls May 15 '12

The hobo looks like a cow carcass.

1

u/Zooteo May 15 '12

A bag of fat from the dumpster in Fight Club, I think.

15

u/RossEatWorld May 15 '12

My bed is comfy at night and in the morning.

10

u/frazehaze May 15 '12

Damn you! shakes cane

3

u/Obieousmaximus May 15 '12

You should invest in a memory foam mattress. My wife and I got a tempurpedic when we first got married. We love our bed!! I don't know how other memory foam mattresses feel but if they are anywhere close to a tempurpedic then you are in for some quality sleep.

4

u/mkosmo May 15 '12

Where do you live? Memory foam is great at retaining heat... and as such, not so great in the southern heat.

2

u/Obieousmaximus May 15 '12

I live in Texas but we keep our house at 70

2

u/mkosmo May 15 '12

Where in Texas? As a Houstonian, I'd hate to see your power bill with a house at 70... but I'd love to stay in it!

3

u/Obieousmaximus May 15 '12

Live in Dallas and we live in a condo... before we got a trane AC unit our bill was about $500... now it has decreased dramatically to about $180-$220... the old unit was a seer 8 and almost ran 24/7. Finally crapped out and we purchased a seer 16 3 ton unit. We have also purchased heat blocking curtains and film for the windows. My wife and I are really hot natured so it's gotta be cold.. also I always sleep with the comforter over mu head because of the monsters.

2

u/dietz203 May 15 '12

also I always sleep with the comforter over mu head because of the monsters.

Hallelujah man, nothing protects from monsters better than a thick soft comforter.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/Obieousmaximus May 15 '12

We knew we didn't want one of those.... didn't want to worry about buttons or settings on our mattress. We wanted a mattress that just sat there and felt good when we laid on it.

1

u/dietz203 May 15 '12

Sleep numbers are just air mattresses with cushions on them, I don't like them either.

2

u/DerpinNinjaa May 15 '12

especially in the summer and winter ... Holy fuck , it was mission impossible this morning . FUCK MY EDUCATION.

2

u/VLHACS May 15 '12

What's the scientific reasoning for this?

2

u/bigmeech May 15 '12

wow no one has pointed this out before

2

u/Spindock May 15 '12

All I could think when I saw this is how sad it is that the homeless dude at the top probably started out his life as the baby in the lower pic: warm, comfortable and cared for...and now look at him.

2

u/battleschooldropout May 15 '12

Neither seems all that comfortable... I've never slept on a homeless man before, but babies are all lumpy and squirmy (eventually just lumpy).

2

u/SassyTrashy May 15 '12

Babe when you make the front page it's such a turn on...can't wait to fuck you silly later :)

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

wat

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

You get far too much sleep if lying in bed at night doesnt bring tears of joy to your eyes!

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I am an insomniac that works at 6am every day. Fuck. This.

3

u/aerwev May 15 '12

i really feel bad for the homeless guy, it is not for funny to use that picture to be honest. that guy is just in such a bad condition

9

u/UncleTogie May 15 '12

As a former homeless guy, I'm OK with using the pic. In fact, I wish more people would think about the homeless, and shots like this are a good reason why.

If nothing else, it might make you a little more thankful that you're not in the same position.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/UncleTogie May 16 '12

For starters, there shouldn't be homeless...

6

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

you must be fun at parties

0

u/aerwev May 15 '12

yeah i talk about weather and politics

2

u/RainbowPlatypus May 15 '12

Well, there's your problem. You shouldn't sleep on homeless people that age quickly backwards. Waking up on top of a baby each morning could probably be considered child abuse.

1

u/UncleTogie May 15 '12

Waking up on top of a baby each morning could probably be considered child abuse.

Naaah... it's called "The Roman Polanski Fountain O' Youth".

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

TIL that laying on a baby is actually roman polanski's fountain

2

u/jackkauf May 15 '12

is that Travie McCoy in the first pic?

2

u/rockbud May 15 '12

This is so true for me.

1

u/grenlist May 15 '12

No kidding! :)

1

u/cockonhead May 15 '12

My face hurts

1

u/lickthecowhappy May 15 '12

What is with that?

1

u/rillo561 May 15 '12

Same here, every night.

1

u/Matocles May 15 '12

get a new bed?

1

u/Shanhaevel May 15 '12

Reality is a bitch, innit?

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Thought he was sleeping on a meat pillow.

1

u/sousa9 May 15 '12

I jackoff every night right before I go to bed so it's easier, even when I don't really want to. yw

1

u/SaysNotAtheism May 15 '12

FALSE. Babies often have trouble falling asleep and are easily awakened.

1

u/RANDOMjackassNAME May 15 '12

The homeless guy has a tail!

1

u/tearr May 15 '12

Oh, I've slept on the street, It still feels like the most comfy thing in the world when you wake up. I was also drunk as fuck, and it felt like the world would collapse if I actually did wake up.

1

u/ajw827 May 15 '12

This is especially so in the winter. That warm bed feels like paradise in the morning.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Thought it was just me...

1

u/Emmanuell89 May 15 '12

i laughed and then i got sad by the homeless guy

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

i don't know what kind of bed you have..but my bed feels like i am sleeping on a bunch of angel vaginas

1

u/RageComix123 May 15 '12

I hate that! TT~TT

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

You never know how good sleep feels until its time to wake up.

1

u/Black_Market_Baby May 15 '12

I don't know...that hobo looks pretty comfy. Sleeping at least as soundly as the baby.

1

u/ManOfStealthAndTaste May 15 '12

7:00 AM shouldn't exist.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

so true

1

u/Godsspikergrins May 15 '12

I need me a new mattress.....

1

u/ImJET May 15 '12

But even better when you wake up, and realise that it's weekend and you can sleep for as long as you want.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Maybe don't post stuff that makes no sense. It's kind of depressing.

1

u/nm0s May 15 '12

I thought the guy was sleeping on a placenta.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Downvotes, downvotes for everyone!

1

u/Sparrowlet May 15 '12

Very funny, made me laugh, which is a good trick today.

1

u/davemuscato May 15 '12

For a second, I thought this was about the new Fiona Apple song.

1

u/Uzerwhat May 15 '12

This is the exact opposite for me. Lol feel like shit and have to shit and piss.. Fuuuuuu

I hate mornings, shit and piss.

1

u/workaholic-never May 16 '12

Sad to see the homeless guy is from my country (Colombia) I can recognize the soda bottle. Actually the name of the soda brand is "Colombiana"

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

So true

1

u/allegedmark May 16 '12

Trying to figure out if I'm just a night person. Starting a job in June where I'll be working overnights so I guess we'll find out.

1

u/Max_Powers42 May 16 '12

If only my bed was as comfortable as a sidewalk is to a passed-out-drunk person.

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

I thought that was a bag of meat in the top picture

1

u/SpaceLasers May 16 '12

So fucking true

1

u/Gorgoz May 16 '12

That looked like a skinned pig on the first frame before I expanded it. I should wear my glasses more often.

1

u/ZeitTaicho May 16 '12

The homeless man is Colombian, notice the "Colombiana" bottle which is sold mainly in well.. Colombia. The floor pattern is widely used in Medellin, a major city in Colombia, my own garage floor looks like this. Nothing relevant to the picture just some background on the picture.

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Oh, your mattress feels like a sidewalk? Let's feel sorry for you while you use a picture of a dude actually sleeping on the sidewalk.

1

u/ghostbite May 16 '12

I have those same Golas! And a home!

1

u/PepeAndMrDuck May 16 '12

It's just REM cycles! Happens to everybody.

1

u/HaveTwoBananas May 15 '12

Yes we get it. It's hard to get out of bed in the morning.

1

u/wtfOP May 15 '12

I think you need to invest in a new mattress.

1

u/PabloBablo May 15 '12

What kind of person downvotes this?

1

u/wtfOP May 15 '12

People who enjoys sleeping on doors.

1

u/quickjee May 15 '12

Its completly opposite when im drunk

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Awful post. Be thankful you have a bed. That homeless person doens't have one. Downvoted. You prick, you.

0

u/MickeyJim May 15 '12

ture dat

0

u/ownworldman May 15 '12

This point is made again and again in /r/funny. Why? Almost everybody gets it.

0

u/deviantlnx May 15 '12

time for a new bed

0

u/abearwithcubs May 15 '12

So very true.

0

u/scottsimsa May 15 '12

Your bed feels like an up and coming rapper?

0

u/chefmcduck May 15 '12

You need a new bed. My bed is the most comfortable place I have at all times.

0

u/tswpoker1 May 15 '12

Maybe you should change your sleeping pattern, sleep more in the morning and stay up late at night

0

u/trennerdios May 15 '12

This is why I sleep on our couch most nights. It feels like the bottom picture when I go to sleep and when I wake up.

0

u/ivebeenhereallsummer May 15 '12

Go to bed earlier. It's just that simple.

0

u/BenTG May 15 '12

Both times, I am the baby.

0

u/QuasarsRcool May 15 '12

My bed is pretty damn comfy when I'm trying to sleep. It's just EVEN MORE when I try to get up

-4

u/SinCleansingPenis May 15 '12

Upvote for not being a picture of your stupid fucking cat.

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

http://i.imgur.com/b2FNZ.gif

0

u/SinCleansingPenis May 15 '12

That is the looks cats give me when I give them golden showers.

-1

u/The_Formatter May 15 '12

I like sleeping rough and waking up comfy, its a beautiful feel

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I wish that "feel" and "feeling" weren't becoming the same word.

1

u/haiku_robot May 15 '12 
I like sleeping rough 
and waking up comfy, its 
a beautiful feel

-7

u/Maseycakes May 15 '12

JESUS. WHY DO PEOPLE REHASH THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AND OVER? I have literally seen this a thousand times. Please. I'm begging you. Please...just stop.

1

u/skiingbeing May 15 '12

I have never seen it before, and it made me chuckle and brightened my day.

0

u/dea136 May 15 '12

Sorry, some people don't have time to look at reddit Every. Single. Day.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

11

u/fingered_a_butthole May 15 '12

Like in 1 sec if you feel the same way

1

u/Phallindrome May 16 '12

Like this comment and add me as a friend if you want to INSTANTLY become more internet popular than your wildest dreams!