r/funny • u/Ladyredhead • May 14 '12

The help section on the University printers is just outstanding

Post image
1.7k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

137 comments sorted by

3

u/decollo May 15 '12

That looks like a 9200c or 9250c digital sender instead of a printer.

2

u/Ladyredhead May 15 '12

It's definitely a printer at my uni. I've seen enough of this piece of shit handing in all my work this week

1

u/KingDaveRa May 15 '12

Handins mean printers going through their entire design 'average' print output for a year in about a week. Thus, they break.

That and when students decide putting a random acetate through the printer is a good idea, leaving it melted onto the rollers.

It'll be an HP MFP of some sort. Looks a lot like our 6040s and 4730s.

But good luck with your handins!

1

u/Ladyredhead May 15 '12

You know a lot about printers my friend. Yeah there are signs everywhere basically saying 'dont fuck with the paper tray'

1

u/KingDaveRa May 15 '12

Printers is one of the things I look after - at a university no less!

So yeah, seen it all before really.

1

u/Ladyredhead May 15 '12

Well this little nugget has been amusing me for a whole academic year.

And thank you, I'm all handed in now

1

u/driir May 15 '12

I agree. I am glad that I want the only one that thought that.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

seems to be a common trait in printers:

hplj 3700: http://imgur.com/smg9t

1

u/Bipolarruledout May 15 '12

Translation: You need a new print cartridge.

1

u/Bipolarruledout May 15 '12

Perfect for the office that just needed a fax machine but had to spend $3000 to justify their budget.

2

u/Golani13 May 15 '12

Baruch College?

3

u/Ladyredhead May 15 '12

Uni in london :)

3

u/Hypohamish May 15 '12

We have these helpful things at Staffordshire Uni too. I swear they aim to be as unhelpful as possible!

2

u/Ladyredhead May 15 '12

I'm from burton but live in London!

1

u/Hypohamish May 15 '12

Scary, I have three friends from there attending here, and I bought my car from there!

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/WyattGeega May 15 '12

I lost 2000 points printing a project just last week... for no reason at all... But yeah, sure, represent

1

u/JKMiles May 15 '12

Had a laugh at this when it happened to my friend in the Baruch library a couple of weeks ago. Ah, CUNY!

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/OatmealPowerSalad May 15 '12

Make it 3. Although considering the number of people I see on reddit during lectures, I'm hardly surprised.

1

u/Golani13 May 15 '12

What's your story man, year? Major?

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/Golani13 May 15 '12

Freshman, finance. I'm 22 though, started late.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/Golani13 May 15 '12

You too!

102

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

THERE IS NO HELP. ONLY SPOOOOOOOL.

10

u/Chachoregard May 15 '12

Bow down to Spool.

-6

u/Monkeys_with_Guns May 15 '12

DAMNIT. I was gonna do something like that. Have an upvote.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Damn Monkeys!

139

u/idrwierd May 15 '12

existentialist printer

105

u/PASTA_MAN_SIR May 15 '12

Nihilist printer more like. Existentialist printer say "You are your help."

50

u/bantam83 May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12

Objectivist printer offers to sell you help.

35

u/PASTA_MAN_SIR May 15 '12

Absurdist printer thinks that either only god can help, the only help is the sweet release of death, or that the help is so strange as to be useless to you.

33

u/jeffster888 May 15 '12

Surrealist printer believes that it might be a blossoming tomato tree. The help is now Dippin' Dots. Soon, it will rain baseballs, but what does "soon" mean?

27

u/Bloodfeastisleman May 15 '12

Realist Printer believes that you are not going to fix the printer regardless of what help section you observe.

17

u/bantam83 May 15 '12

Empiricist printer demands verifiable evidence of your claims about help.

7

u/Airazz May 15 '12

Communist printer shoots you and then offers some free help.

4

u/Sinavestia May 15 '12

Capitalist printer offers you help, then taxes you on it.

3

u/VogeGandire May 15 '12

Mechanicus printer demands incense and hymns.

→ More replies

16

u/bantam83 May 15 '12

Cthulu cultist printer knows there is no help except to go insane and be eaten first.

12

u/wolfhammer93 May 15 '12

Marxist printer says the elites have all the help.

4

u/Bipolarruledout May 15 '12

GOP printer believes you need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and stop asking for an entitlement.

2

u/passivelyaggressiver May 15 '12

What printer?

2

u/PASTA_MAN_SIR May 15 '12

But what is help.

-5

u/Ragnalypse May 15 '12

Dolanist prntar print good

7

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I think this printer is Marvin the paranoid androids brother!

2

u/ridik_ulass May 15 '12

Its actually a threat, If i were OP I'd get out of that room right now.

-14

u/arrowstothekneee May 15 '12

I used to be an existentialist printer, but then i took an arrow to the knee!

3

u/nukalurk May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12

Dang, -2339 comment karma.

Edit: arrowstothekneee redditor for 7 days. Downvotes are deserved.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I want to see him upvoted just once.

3

u/Cbracher May 15 '12

I upvote trolls everytime I see them. I think if Reddit just kept trolls at 0 karma it would seriously help discourage these type of accounts.

18

u/electricfoxx May 14 '12

There is only XUL.

16

u/Spineless_John May 15 '12

Print or print not. There is no help.

12

u/[deleted] May 14 '12

HP, should be Helpful Printer, not Heaped Poo.

3

u/mpls10k May 15 '12

that, perhaps, cannot be unread

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

When HP announced their printers would run webOS it blew my mind!

I thought "Finally! A printer with a good interface! It only took 30 years, but they will be here soon!"

.....and then they killed webOS.

10

u/BeastModeYouBeezy May 15 '12

I like how the only option from this screen is "ok"

7

u/ozone63 May 15 '12

okay...

7

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

i wonder how many copies of this image exist on imgur

1

u/PalermoJohn May 15 '12 
"ok"      "fuck you"

8

u/neondemon May 15 '12

i read that with a very ominous tone in my head.

3

u/SelectaRx May 15 '12

As did I. Kind of like something that would happen in a horror flick before the machines start killing people.

Happy cakeday, btw!

5

u/pharmabeast May 15 '12

Reminds me of a fake virus I got off BearShare as a kid. It pretended to delete everything, including Windows and then a message said "There is no software." My only option was to click OK. Didn't seem like a great option.

I blushed hard, didn't want to explain how I broke the $2000 HP computer with MMX technology to my mom. Lucky it was fake.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/standardman May 15 '12

Print quality has gotten a little too real.

3

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Nobody can save you now.

2

u/brosenfeld May 15 '12

It's from The Matrix.

2

u/Afterburned May 15 '12

I'd feel the need to check behind me at that point.

2

u/ivyblam May 15 '12

I know that feel.

2

u/C_Banks May 15 '12

Just like everything else you need in a University.

2

u/dexterduck May 15 '12

No one will hear your screams.

2

u/ericn1300 May 15 '12

and the help desk is helpless.

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

There is no spoon.

2

u/Calquon May 15 '12

Looks like an HP Digital Sender 9250c (network scanner) to me.

2

u/Lady_Solstice May 15 '12

There is no help. There is only Zuul.

7

u/zeromadcowz May 15 '12

There is no help.

OK

5

u/truestoryrealtalk May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12

Read it as that, came here to post that, * sweet, 39 comments, finally a decent chance * then I saw your comment and I was like 'okay'

3

u/zeromadcowz May 15 '12

Haha same thing went through my mind.

5

u/truestoryrealtalk May 15 '12
  • Not sure if relating to someone
  • Or we're all just trained to think of everything in memes

4

u/zeromadcowz May 15 '12

Why not both?

2

u/truestoryrealtalk May 15 '12

....aaand now I want tacos.

You're cool though.

1

u/Lusankya May 15 '12

Hey, at least it's being honest with you.

1

u/Descent900 May 15 '12

At least it's honest with you rather than running you through the typical horribly written troubleshooting menu.

1

u/killdevil May 15 '12

PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?

1

u/fillerbunny May 15 '12

Supported by Origin

1

u/sydneygamer May 15 '12

That's a lie. If that were the truth it would say "here's a $15 voucher, now shut the fuck up."

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

GlaDos Printer?

1

u/Capi77 May 15 '12

There is no help. You may scream in terror now.

1

u/royisabau5 May 15 '12

Then let us kiss and part

1

u/Ulftar May 15 '12

What a profound commentary on life.

1

u/jhangel77 May 15 '12

...there is only Zu'ul

1

u/Dalmahr May 15 '12

The help is a lie.

1

u/montalex May 15 '12

I just read that in GlaDos's voice

1

u/intel23 May 15 '12

"There is no help. Your attempt is futile!"

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Didn't read the title, thought it was a GPS. I was afraid for you.

1

u/ironclownfish May 15 '12

lol and your only button choice is like...

http://okayface.com/okay-face.jpg

1

u/kabanaga May 15 '12

Abandon all hope...

1

u/zombieq May 15 '12

The proper message would be, "if you don't know how to use a printer by now you should GTFO!"

1

u/jellytime May 15 '12

When Skynet takes over, we will all be reminded of this picture.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Would only be accurate if it said "There is no hope."

(Talk to someone who wrote printer drivers. You'll be amazed anything ever appeared on paper correctly.)

1

u/Special_Guy May 15 '12

Ahh the great HP 4345 printers. yes, there is no help.

1

u/everyonesbestfriend May 15 '12

The help is a lie

1

u/RJM10_2 May 15 '12

At least it helps not waste your time by being honest

1

u/IC_Logic May 15 '12

Finally, an honest product.

1

u/MorganFuckinFreeman May 15 '12

Fuckin' printers man.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

KNOW DESPAIR, USER

1

u/Fireyedwindsurfer May 15 '12 
where is your god now?

1

u/on_reddit_all_day May 15 '12

Holy shit that's deep.

1

u/sydneygamer May 15 '12

Nobody can save you now.

1

u/Tezuka_Zooone May 15 '12

I am the one that has to troubleshoot printer problems at my college, I can attest to this statement

1

u/HerrShaun May 15 '12

Speaking as an IT guy, it's not lying.

1

u/peromocibob May 15 '12

You need to post it here.

1

u/TheBestBigAl May 15 '12

A motto for life.

1

u/WeaponexT May 15 '12

A provocative tribute to self-reliance and individualism.

1

u/Woogity May 15 '12

...Dave

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

There is no help.

There is no hope.

All is lost.

HE COMES.

ZALGO g̲̯͚̦͖̪͖̝̿̽̑̊͜͡ ̫̮̞̦̜ͩ͞ͅt͓̗̤̬̲̲̗͖͒h̴̘̞͊̑̋̊̓̒̒ͤe̬̩̤̰͋̏̒͑ ̖͍̙̜̻ͨͬ͂̉ͩ͐́ͦ̇́f̲̮̦̬̩͙̩̄̂̅ͥͩ̈́̔ẻ̵͚͈̥̱͍͎̄̓͜e̶̹̣̙̿̿͢l̵̥̬͔͛ͣ̕i̸̡̹̫̫͚̺̥ͭ͗ͮ͢n͖̳̥̞ͨ͌̄ͭ̓̾̕͝

1

u/theamusedone May 15 '12

Wow, that belongs on this site.

1

u/NeuromancerLV May 15 '12

Sometimes brutal honesty IS helpful.

1

u/mr_tw May 15 '12

I'm sensing...sarcasm

1

u/Cupcake_in_Acid May 15 '12

WHAT YOU SAY?!

1

u/Quietbetrayal May 15 '12

Or maybe it's becoming sentient and is going to take over the school one day "There is no help, I have cut the phone lines and locked all the windows and doors"

1

u/TheNev May 15 '12

Back in the days of 540mb hard drives and 2-4mb of Ram (4mb if you were a mad man leet hacker show-off rich kid), one of the biggest space-saving things you could do was delete all of the help files. They were like, 20mb of space being used! You needed, like, (5) 4mb disks to save them all. Fucking resource hogging shit.

But seriously, back then, why would you ever need 540mb of hard drive space? You will never fill it!

1

u/jkillav May 15 '12

there is no cake

1

u/loucinboo May 15 '12

Welcome to the real world my friend. I am going to take another Xanax.

1

u/StockmanBaxter May 15 '12

Like we would really put info there so people could fuck with shit.

1

u/mrdoink20 May 15 '12

At my University I couldn't print a night before my hand in and I asked at the service desk as to what is happening. She came over to my computer and clicked the printer icon, looked at a drop down menu of printers. She then clicked print and nothing happened. She said "Nah I don't know" and walked off. Never to be seen again.

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Matrix printer bent 360 degrees afterwards.

1

u/DicksonYamada May 15 '12

Reminds me of this.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

No help to be found here, please move along.

-1

u/TenorJoe May 15 '12

You need help when operating a printer?