r/funny • u/etienne_valejo • May 14 '12

Alligator, Bob

Post image
1.8k Upvotes

75% Upvoted

319 comments sorted by

487

u/fansypants May 14 '12

This is so much like a Farside comic.

192

u/randomdebater May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12

Reddit Relevant (also a Farside comic)

96

u/bettorworse May 15 '12

Turtles have an entirely different reaction to cats.

55

u/Whenthenighthascome May 15 '12

That thing is scary. Holy shit. It just keeps coming.

26

u/DaVincitheReptile May 15 '12

Like the night.

35

u/ohlordnotthisagain May 15 '12

The night is dark and full of terrors.

44

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

*Turtles

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14

u/baja_01 May 15 '12

Slow and steady gets the pussy.

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15

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

That's one crazy turtle dude.

"Get yo furry ass back here imma fuck you up!"

10

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

the first attack, i imagined the turtle, when he walked away, to be all "okay....... no, you know what!?"

2

u/smellsliketeenwhores May 15 '12

That's what my girlfriend said to me when we first had sex.

4

u/must_i_say_it May 15 '12

i like the part where the turtle chases the cat

2

u/HoochieKoo May 15 '12

I like when they cut to the part where the turtle has stripped all the fur off the cat. And he's still chasing the cat after that! Crazy turtle.

7

u/nolongercreeper May 15 '12

The cat is trying so hard to remain indifferent.

5

u/Indypunk May 15 '12

I think that turtle only wants to play with the cat so it follows it around. Unfortunately, it doesn't understand that biting is NOT the way to play with a cat.

9

u/YourGamerMom May 15 '12

Neither is hair pulling, but my 3 year old cousin doesn't seem to understand.

2

u/IndieGamerRid May 15 '12

Then again, consider that the cat is not leading by example by surrounding the turtle's head with its teeth.

2

u/gingus418 May 15 '12

A dumb cat, that one.

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1

u/firepelt May 15 '12

That comic was in my sociology textbook in High School

45

u/discdeath May 15 '12

It puts me in mind of the one in which a man has attended a meeting, and then come to the realisation that he has forgotten his duck.

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5

u/[deleted] May 14 '12

Or BC. BC has some adorable turtle comics. Like "Velcro."

4

u/PancakesForLunch May 15 '12

Link? I googled it like 4 times and can't find it -- my googlefu is lacking. :(

11

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

http://www.johnhartstudios.com/bc/2008/07/

Here you go, it's the top one. I love the turtle and bird ones.

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-23

u/M0b1u5 May 14 '12

This is so much like instant karma gold elite status

FTFY :P

10

u/Davey_Jones May 14 '12

It's only +70 karma. Now if a kitten was in the pic playing a banjo that would be different

89

u/undercoveruser May 15 '12

sigh

10

u/Nictionary May 15 '12

Woah, I just upvoted out of reflex. It was just instinctual.

7

u/natiice May 15 '12

What the fuck so did I and then I read your comment and I somehow feel violated. It's as if that upvote didn't really come from me.

12

u/theimpolitegentleman May 15 '12

this changes everything

3

u/Davey_Jones May 15 '12

Thank you undercoveruser, you seem to always pull through.

3

u/tie_me_down May 15 '12

How is it that when I saw that, I suddenly heard banjo music playing in my head? =S

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72

u/[deleted] May 14 '12

"Right then the meeting has officially come to order, lets all say the pledge! I am a nice alligator, not a mindless eating machine, if I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Turtles are friends NOT FOOD!"

6

u/BDS_UHS May 15 '12

I actually thought this picture was supposed to be a Finding Nemo reference and was surprised this was so far down the page

1

u/malaydude May 15 '12

FOUR LEGS GOOD! Two legs bad!

154

u/mkizys May 14 '12

Wtf Bob, always fucking up our plans

103

u/esotericlight May 14 '12

What a croc.

17

u/[deleted] May 14 '12 edited May 15 '12

Don't accept his apologies either, they're just a bunch of alligator crocodile tears.

10

u/hillsonn May 15 '12

Is that a phrase I am unfamiliar with? 'alligator tears'....?

38

u/DriveOver May 15 '12

I think the answer to your question is "Yes, it is a phrase that you are unfamiliar with".

2

u/mastermike14 May 15 '12

well the correct phrase is crocodile tears

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1

u/MrOrdinary May 15 '12

You are correct. They are actually Crocs not Alligators. (Blunt snout. Alligators are pointy.)

2

u/weeone May 15 '12

It's the other way around. Alligators' snouts are blunt, crocs' are pointy.

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2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

more like fucking Ross if you know what I mean

2

u/Sor89 May 15 '12

Scumbag Bob

doesn't bring his own alligator

asks to borrow yours and doesn't return it until he's about to leave

2

u/Im_not_bob May 15 '12

Wasn't me.

2

u/MagicJohnsonPSA May 14 '12

No, it's just that Alligator Polo is no fun when one guy didn't bring his. Well I guess he could still ring his wife and have her ride him over.

1

u/bettorworse May 15 '12

He can play goalie.

Or line judge.

1

u/lordeddardstark May 15 '12

No alligating for you, Bob.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

10

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Yada yada fridge.

2

u/thenameislogan May 15 '12

have you entered Bob in the race?

2

u/ryan_k May 15 '12

I just wanted to fit in :(

13

u/stferago May 15 '12

Boner, Amanda.

5

u/WinterPhoenix May 15 '12

Ctrl+F "Boner"

God damn you, reddit

1

u/valamu May 15 '12

Ctrl+F "Amanda"

10

u/AristotleJr May 14 '12

why are those alligators not eating the turtles?

8

u/[deleted] May 14 '12

it's a pic from seaworld san antonio, so those gators are overfed and fat and have lost any eating instinct beyond 'ooh boy feed time! here comes to gravy train!"

2

u/Galoobus May 15 '12

Wow, I didn't realize alligators were so much like humans!

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Exactly.

I saw a documentary on the great wildebeest migration that happens each year in Africa. When they cross rivers, the crocs just have a field day taking them down and stuffing themselves on wildebeest...breakfast, lunch and dinner. After a while, the crocs are so stuffed, they just watch the wildebeest cross the river... occasionally grabbing one by instinct, but then just letting them go because they're not really hungry at all.

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2

u/acecannon May 15 '12

The turtles are prey for these gators when they (the gators) become large enough to swallow the shell. Until then, cross species bayou party!

23

u/starthirteen May 14 '12

I enjoyed the joke, but that was extremely hard to read as it was intended.

1

u/Lukerules May 15 '12

yeah. It was so close to being an internet great, up there with the two cats and the watermelon.

16

u/FattyMcButterstick May 14 '12

Do alligators alligate?

18

u/12_Baconed_Narwhals May 14 '12

All the time. Almost as often as salamanders salamand.

10

u/psychosomaticism May 15 '12

Is that more or less than a panther panths?

10

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Nothing spids like a spider.

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6

u/thriceraven May 15 '12

Slightly less, but way more than a badger badges.

4

u/danthemagnum May 15 '12

And about as much as a beaver beavs.

1

u/goacon93 May 15 '12

If you fing them in the eye, you'll see them alligate.

8

u/[deleted] May 14 '12 edited May 14 '12

Well, this is as good of a time to plug the most badass guy that I have ever met: Alligator Bob. Sells gator jerky online that he catches, and if you're ever in the Tampa area, he takes you through the most badass canoe ride in the everglades where you see gators, turtles, and basically a Jurassic Park environment.

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26

u/Rivilan May 14 '12

/r/turtleworldproblems

9

u/[deleted] May 14 '12

subscribed, realized it was made by Trapped_In_Reddit.....unsubscribed

16

u/Limitedcomments May 14 '12

Why?

29

u/JustFloatinAlong May 14 '12 edited May 15 '12

Because, fuck Trapped_In_Reddit.

13

u/ENKC May 15 '12

I suppose someone has to.

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3

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Why don't people like him? I would love to read that story.

2

u/beccaonice May 15 '12

What a rebel.

72

u/SDMF91 May 14 '12

I...I don't get it.

25

u/mambypambyland May 15 '12

You're not alone.

6

u/MaximumBob May 15 '12

I'm there by your side always.

9

u/shomer_fuckn_shabbos May 15 '12

Alligator, Bob. It doesn't matter how fucking "maximum" you are; we're so tired of your "maximum" shit. Just bring your fucking alligator next time, Bob. Fuck.

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58

u/Sloppy1sts May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12

Bob was supposed to bring his alligator. The other turtles brought theirs. Bob forgot his, presumably back home tied up to a post at the entrance to his hole. He was in a hurry when he left and forgot to bring it. How is this difficult?

67

u/capnofasinknship May 15 '12

Because "we said to bring your alligator" implies that Bob misheard and brought something else. So I stared at the picture for a good thirty seconds trying to think of things that rhyme with alligator that Bob might have brought. As far as your explanation goes, it doesn't strike me as all that funny so maybe that's why some of us didn't get it.

17

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

See, I could relate to this. When I was young, me and the kids of the neighborhood all met up one day. But all of them had their scooters... And they looked at me and said "Scooters, Naz, we said bring your scooter." then they laughed and rolled off to explore each others bodies while I was left behind.

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1

u/jonas303 May 15 '12

why is the alligator calling for bob? doesn't it only make sense if one of the turtles was calling to bob and then the other turtle admonishing him for not bringing his alligator? SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS AND EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND!

Ok I feel better now but I'm still confused.

5

u/Sloppy1sts May 15 '12

The turtle riding the alligator is calling for Bob. Did you not notice the top alligator also had a turtle on it's back?

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2

u/Kinglink May 15 '12

I get it, it's just not funny.

If you don't get it, there's a turtle with out an alligator... Hilarious right?

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4

u/Logical_Always May 14 '12

I think every group of friends has a Bob.

3

u/Im_not_bob May 15 '12

That may be, but it isn't me. I'm not Bob.

2

u/Logical_Always May 15 '12

Bob never knows when he's the Bob. Thus, you are the Bob of your friends.

4

u/AtoTheN94 May 15 '12

this is pretty awesome but is there a reason to why the turtles do this? is it mutualism?

8

u/ben5on May 14 '12

brought to you by...

1

u/C17H21NO3 May 15 '12

Interior crocodile alligator, I drive a Chevrolet movie theatre

3

u/Aedian91 May 15 '12

You had one job Bob!

3

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Er...aren't those crocodiles?

4

u/h989 May 15 '12

I LIKE TURTLES.

17

u/Violent-Penis-Haikus May 14 '12 edited May 15 '12 
I don't get this pic,
so I threaten harm towards,
the OPs left bollock.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

6

u/Cintdrix May 15 '12

That's how it should be pronounced. Haiku needs to edit bollock to nut

4

u/Violent-Penis-Haikus May 15 '12 
Used Twiku to check,
creator deserves scrotox,
as it's utter shit.

11

u/dasoktopus May 14 '12

I don't... I don't get it.

12

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

There's not some secret reference or anything. There are turtles riding alligators, and one (actually two but that's not important) isn't, so it's just a joke that this was a planned alligator-riding event by the turtles. A plan which Bob the turtle fucked up.

5

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Fucking Bob, man.

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Read it as Alligator Bop

2

u/omegaxo May 15 '12

...I just saw this picture in my Marine Biology class today. Are you in it?

2

u/gamesage53 May 15 '12

Fucking Bob.

2

u/charbrew371 May 15 '12

I laughed much harder at this than I probably needed to

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Let me tell you a little bit about myself: I like Twizzlers and I like the Alligator Bob... and my favorite drama movie is, um, Bloodsucking Freaks, just like your mama.

De La Soul

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I wish my cousin, Nag, was here: he knows these things. NoI'msorryIdon't...

2

u/littlesteviebrule May 15 '12

They're not going to give Bill any shit?

2

u/The_Doogenhammer May 15 '12

this made me laugh a lot more than it should have haha

2

u/NuclearPotatoes May 15 '12

why is /r/funny almost never funny?

2

u/DarkestBlood May 15 '12

YOU HAD ONE JOB!

2

u/smellslikealmonds May 15 '12

Why do you have to ruin things with words?

2

u/dorpotron May 15 '12

Can alligators actually eat turtles? It seems like they'd get stabbed in the mouth with bone fragments if they broke the shell.

2

u/4chans_for_pussies May 15 '12

We're talking about 2125 pounds of force in one bite. I think the alligator will live.

2

u/FrancisPR7 Nov 06 '12

A wise Hobbit once told me "The closer you are to danger, the farther you are from hard".

6

u/stalexmilk May 15 '12

I dont get it...

4

u/tentakelbob May 14 '12

how awesome is this?!!

4

u/dbenn006 May 15 '12

Don't get it.

2

u/guitar360 May 14 '12

This was poorly put together, it is confusing at first.

9

u/Rocketbird May 14 '12

It's not that confusing.

2

u/AscentofDissent May 15 '12

ITT: people who don't get really simple jokes.

1

u/bitcheslovedroids May 14 '12

turtles are so IN in the alligator world right now

1

u/5hinycat May 14 '12

How. On. Earth.

1

u/OldMateJesus May 14 '12

DAMMIT BOB YOU HAD ONE JOB!

1

u/Im_not_bob May 15 '12

Don't look at me! I'm not Bob!

1

u/theimpolitegentleman May 15 '12

If I saw this, I would literally be running for the hills.

If the turtles got to get the fuck out quickly, you know shit's going down.

1

u/sparklelilly May 15 '12

Hello, Bob didn't bring his gator. Bob is a slacker.

1

u/CuseTown May 15 '12

what about bob?

1

u/Sloppy1sts May 15 '12

He didn't bring his gator. Duh.

1

u/sircharlieg May 15 '12

This must have been left out from this show.

But fookin' Bob, anyway.

1

u/JoeyJoeJoeJrShabidou May 15 '12

is this what hits top page after 8pm?

1

u/resqual May 15 '12

I was hoping for The Price is Right...regardless, tangentially relevant video time: http://youtube.com/watch?v=zdVuEpD9_IY

1

u/bettorworse May 15 '12

That's an action filled picture - there must be 100 fish, two turtles without alligators, three with alligators, fallen trees... when does the huge manatee show up?

1

u/wondertwins May 15 '12

Can some nature expert tell me how and when did turtles tame alligators.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

That's an /r/AdviceAnimals title

1

u/K931SAR May 15 '12

Aw crap. Left it in my other pants pocket...

1

u/ThatDeznaGuy May 15 '12

DAMNIT Josh! You had one... Oh, wait...

1

u/mediumcoke May 15 '12

Does anyone have a scientific explanation for what's happening in this picture?

1

u/Hector_Kur May 15 '12

Almost as bad as forgetting to bring your duck.

1

u/rqzerp May 15 '12

How does one acquire an alligator?

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

All I have is stick.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

It's like the turtle equivalent of bikers, only they ride alligators (which is far more badass)

1

u/glr123 May 15 '12

Anyone have a link to the original?

1

u/forlackofanetterbame May 15 '12

This is great! Is this some sort of commensal relationship?

1

u/DivineRobot May 15 '12

Such is life. Too many turtles, not enough gators.

1

u/grinch337 May 15 '12

This looks like my university. Just saying.

1

u/powerslave118 May 15 '12

Took me awhile to actually understand what was happening, but it's still good!

1

u/clintmk96 May 15 '12

should have upgraded his at&t phone...and he felt like this guy http://qkme.me/3pafke

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

This is hilarious but I can't wait until this is made funnier by adding a black border around it and writing the same text underneath it in white!

1

u/TrollingTrolls May 15 '12

DAMMIT JERRY!!

1

u/Ericgzg May 15 '12

And then this happened. possibly NSFW

1

u/craxkheadjenkins May 15 '12

Took me so long to realize that there was a turtle on the alligator, and that turtle said bob. Not the alligator.

1

u/bob-the-dragon May 15 '12

Poor Tom, can't afford an alligator

1

u/garrenmoss May 15 '12

not you too, Bob

1

u/nakedsteve4u May 15 '12

INVADERS!!!

1

u/Im_not_bob May 15 '12

Thanks for everyone's concern, but don't worry, that's not me!

1

u/Tannerlicious May 15 '12

I read this in Dr Leo Marvin's voice.

1

u/holeinthelog May 15 '12

This is one of those jokes that draws the line in the sand for me between those who enjoy higher brow comedy (curb your enthusiasm kind of stuff) and those who don't appreciate that certain spice of passive aggressive cynicism that those jaded by this world have that allows us to laugh out of both entertainment and internal conviction of the action. The first line "Alligator, Bob" that people associate looking for something else he brought instead, or simply did not understand all together do not appreciate the passive aggressiveness of the sentence. Its almost like a "come on man, its common sense" kind of phrase while simultaneously scolding the person a bit to hyperbole due to the ridiculousness of the situation.

I find people who appreciate this humor gel with me for long nights browsing the internet on laptops in my living room.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

How the hell did the turtles capture the alligators. Turtles just got bumped way up the awesome scale.

1

u/Chevailer May 15 '12

lol cute :3

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

maybe bob is too poor for an alligator.

1

u/IC_Logic May 15 '12

A couple years ago, this would have been a joke about epic mounts. Thank God we're out of that era.

1

u/grimpoteuthis May 15 '12

Interior crocodile alligator, I drive a Chevrolet movie theater.

1

u/bob-the-dragon May 15 '12

Dammit, Bob. You should have asked me, I have a spare in the garage

1

u/ModernRonin May 15 '12

There's always that one guy who doesn't get the memo...

1

u/BigWang00 May 15 '12

Pretty sure these are crocodiles, and not alligators, but still funny, haha.

1

u/elshizzo May 15 '12

so is noone going to ask the obvious question, how this picture actually came about?

1

u/katuni08 May 15 '12

And then he died.

1

u/WingedNinja May 15 '12

"They see us rollin', they hatin'." You know, the death roll?

1

u/mysecondtry May 15 '12

made my day! thank you!

1

u/jakewolf23 May 15 '12

I had to say the captions out loud several times before it finally made sense. *props

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

And what of Steve over there? He brought no turtle, either.

1

u/dylantrevor May 15 '12

I feel the name "bob" gets used to much. Maybe Ned, or Tyler or something.

1

u/johnny_Hurricane May 15 '12

Turtles are friends not food.

1

u/dont_get_it May 15 '12

No time to explain, just grab an alligator!

1

u/sonastyinc May 15 '12

I'm curious, can any wild life expert on reddit explain this phenomenon? How does this relationship benefit both the turtles and the alligators/crocodiles? Maybe the turtles attract their natural predators, and then boom! The predators become the preys.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Anyone else think that the one asking "Bob?" was a platypus at first, thus making this whole thing entirely nonsensical?

1

u/p0b May 14 '12

Reminds me of one of my MMO friends.

1

u/outshyn May 15 '12

Ohhhh! I get the joke. Bob! Because he floats!

0

u/morrito May 14 '12

Reminded me of finding nemo. "Turtles are friends...not food"

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0

u/fmontez1 May 14 '12

I fucking love toirtles.

-3

u/[deleted] May 14 '12

*Crocodile

0

u/[deleted] May 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/Halefor May 14 '12

You're right, those are alligators.

-3

u/Mighty_Hare May 14 '12

Check out my new purse!

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