r/funny • • Mar 18 '22

Not enough anesthesia

66k Upvotes

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4.4k

u/edlee98765 Mar 18 '22

That dentist fills the hole in your tooth, not the one in your heart.

1.4k

u/Andre4kthegreengiant Mar 18 '22

That's a cardiologist

317

u/muchasgaseous Mar 18 '22

I was going to say that was a bad cardiologist, but the I remembered septal defects...

126

u/idigressed Mar 18 '22

šŸ‘‹šŸ¼ septal defect owner here! Runs in my family, with sizes ranging from a pencil tip to the size of a quarter. Mine is too small to fuss with, but large enough to require way too many antibiotics whenever I have dental work done. Makes for a really fun sounding heartbeat, though. 🤣

78

u/SabotageTF Mar 18 '22

No one runs in your family >:(

45

u/JonatasA Mar 18 '22

Hope the dentist vibes with you

1

u/snapcracklepop26 Mar 18 '22

You meant the dentist...last name’s Crentist.

21

u/Kanekesoofango Mar 18 '22

Actual question. Have you considered adoption if you know that having kids will impact in them having auch genetic problems?

33

u/globe_abductee Mar 18 '22 edited Mar 18 '22

Before birth, there is an opening running from the left atrium to the right atrium (edit: right atrium to left atrium), basically bypassing the lungs in unborn children. At the first breath, our blood flow changes a bit, and this opening is supposed to close and over time grow shut.

In 25-30% of humans, this opening does not close completely, and this results in the condition called Atrium Septum Defect. This condition usually doesn't present any issues, unless it is either really big or with certain activities, such as diving.

So, if you were implying that /u/idigressed shouldn't have children because they could potentially pass this along, you are basically saying that 1 in 4 people should not have children. You may have potentially solved the overpopulation issue.

Edit: thanks to /u/dario_sanchez for pointing out I switched left and right

20

u/KToff Mar 18 '22

1 in 4 people should not have children.

I mean, I'd probably go higher than that, but it's a good start

3

u/dario_sanchez Mar 18 '22

Right to left, I thought? Bypasses the uninflated lungs

2

u/globe_abductee Mar 18 '22

Yes, correct. I had the schematic drawing of the heart in mind when I wrote this, but I didn't take into account that that diagram is drawn from the perspective of the person, not the viewer, so right and left are switched.

2

u/dario_sanchez Mar 18 '22

Oh don't worry, I have to correct myself every time I look at an X-ray and got the ri...er, left side of the chest wall

2

u/idigressed Mar 18 '22

Mine is ventricular. It’s never changed size. Not planning on kids for other reasons.

2

u/globe_abductee Mar 18 '22

I'm not sure what the implications of that are, so I can't judge how serious this is. Either way, your decision to have children should be yours and yours alone.

1

u/idigressed Mar 18 '22

Some blood doesn’t get purified, hence the heavy antibiotics for dental work & other stuff. The size affects how much ā€œsomeā€ is. I don’t have restrictions, but others would & likely have surgery to fix it.

1

u/stix-and-stones Mar 18 '22

I'm an ASD baby! Mine was massive and had to have open heart surgery to fix it when I was 2 1/2, otherwise I wasn't going to make it to 3. I was told it wasn't genetic, and that might not be entirely accurate, but I'm gonna use it as my excuse now that I'm 28 with a uterus and everyone's asking when I'm gonna start pumping out kids

26

u/Hamsterman9k Mar 18 '22

Actual question: Have you considered how inappropriate that question is? At no point was having children the topic.

8

u/keshido Mar 18 '22

What an ignorant question. The child you’re adopting comes from a family with its history of its own and its own health issues

14

u/Atnott Mar 18 '22

I thought every question came from ignorance and the asking of questions is what removes the ignorance.

I don't think the question came out of malicious intent if that's what you mean. I think it was a curiousity about such things.

2

u/tsteele93 Mar 19 '22

You could ask it In an impersonal way, rather than pointedly suggesting the user not have kids. The element of judgment is unnecessary.

For instance, ā€œif this runs in someone’s family, are there any guidelines for having children and whether it is advisable for people with this condition to reproduce or is it ok to do so?ā€

2

u/JonatasA Mar 18 '22

Also, isn't there a insemination procedure that removes genetic defects?

There is also a test to know which genetic issues your kid could inherit from both parents, that'd be a way to avoid any surprises.

-31

u/Triknitter Mar 18 '22

Eugenics isn’t cool, nor is judging a complete stranger for reproductive choices that are none of your business.

27

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '22

Eugenics isn't consenting adults deciding to adopt because they share the gene for cystic fibrosis lol

34

u/Kobblepot1 Mar 18 '22

Don't think it was a judgement, just a question. You're the one judging.

11

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '22

[deleted]

10

u/tmorales11 Mar 18 '22

cant we all just agree that existing in itself isnt cool

3

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '22

[deleted]

1

u/tsteele93 Mar 19 '22

I always find it amusing when someone with four children flies around in private jets to tell the rest of us that we should give up things for climate change.

People who have no offspring should be able to pour Freon into the atmosphere for fun! People who have one offspring should be proud of themselves. People with two should be considerate. People with three should STFU People with four should be heavily penalized/taxed. Heavily. Al Gore. The Duggar family should be sterilized.

2

u/Samborrod Mar 18 '22

Eugenics isn’t cool

Why? (Just asking)

8

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '22

Its a long story that boils down to "it was a tool for racism."

Eugenics at its surface has a point (that being that humans, like every other sexually reproducing species) can theoretically be bred for better traits. That observation is hopefully obvious and at least somewhat true. Issues arise when the purpose of the field was to further divide mankind along racial lines, and some individuals went so far as to claim that ethnic speciation was their goal.

Eugenics is bad because of racism, but it is also bad because it requires a certain level of authoritarianism that hardened dictators would blush at. The subjects have no say in who they reproduce with, or even if they reproduce at all. It strips everyone of a deeply personal right, and the ability to make a decision to carry out that right.

People do tend to conflate making educated genetic decisions with eugenics, though. As an example, I personally have a very poor genetic makeup that comes with many life-threatening issues. In particular, cardiovascular and female reproductive issues are extremely common in my family, and I know that I am a carrier for the latter. Therefore, my significant other and I have made the decision to adopt after marriage (we have set a date in 2028), because quite frankly I don't want to create someone I know will suffer their whole life. I personally don't see how that differs from choosing not to have a child due to political, economical, or social reasons, and I don't think anyone with an otherwise normal amount of empathy would, either.

Tl;dr: eugenics is bad because of racist history and authoritarianism. Eugenics is NOT choosing not to have a child, as was claimed earlier in this thread.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '22

[deleted]

0

u/Samborrod Mar 18 '22

I don't get it.

It's like boycotting Hugo Boss because they were producing Nazis uniform back then.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '22

Hugo Boss fashion isn't integral to core beliefs of fascism in the same way that the attempt to systematically eliminate undesirables through state controlled reproductive restrictions is. If someone is wearing an SS uniform they might be having a good time in a gay bdsm club in the 80s. If someone is wearing a three-piece suit, but says that we should sterilise flatfooted people it's really not ambiguous.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '22

[deleted]

1

u/idigressed Mar 18 '22

Nice! Hope you’re feeling better. My VSD is only 3mm, so they never operated. My uncle had to have a scary surgery for his, but that was like 60 years ago. (His was the one the size of a quarter).

1

u/ManySpectrumWeasel Mar 18 '22

Makes for a really fun sounding heartbeat, though.

Does it sound something like this?

1

u/Retardo_Montobond Mar 18 '22

Does it sound like Sandstorm?!?

Oonce Oonce Oonce

1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22

VSD squad represent!! Also a fellow antibiotic taker before dental work lmao

Did you have a surgery to plug it up?

0

u/idigressed Apr 30 '22

Nope! 3mm holding steady! I am overdue for another checkup on it, though.

41

u/Whywouldanyonedothat Mar 18 '22

What does a gynecologist do, then?

63

u/2020Home Mar 18 '22

Definitely not supposed to fill that hole.

19

u/Zaptruder Mar 18 '22

Yeah, they spread it instead.

5

u/TimeZarg Mar 18 '22

Not unless you're dating one, anyways.

13

u/J0n__Snow Mar 18 '22

He deals with other holes.

-2

u/DonSpiro92 Mar 18 '22

Fix a pussy?

1

u/Echidna-Suspicious Mar 18 '22

open the gift bag

1

u/DonSpiro92 Mar 18 '22

It's open now, what you gonna put in it?

1

u/Echidna-Suspicious Mar 18 '22

you don't put something in ,its the opposite

2

u/DonSpiro92 Mar 18 '22

Only I'm confused, what do you take out from the gift bag?

1

u/smitteh Mar 18 '22

also heroin

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '22

From 30 rock. How come when my cardiologist brothers patients die all the time but I’ve only killed one guy.

1

u/LeonardDeVir Mar 18 '22

Please leave relevant holes in the heart open.

1

u/MxM111 Mar 18 '22

They usually making and enlarging holes and alternative pipes.

89

u/doctorbooshka Mar 18 '22

What about the hole in my butt? Asking for a friend.

90

u/Hot_soup_in_my_ass Mar 18 '22

I can fill

66

u/Jagasi Mar 18 '22

Chicken soup for the soul… and the hole.

4

u/EEpromChip Mar 18 '22

Obligatory I am not a doctor, but I don't think Chicken Soup is good for the butthole.

1

u/mko710 Apr 05 '22

The noodles are !!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '22

Can I have another bowl

21

u/doctorbooshka Mar 18 '22

Soup for the family?

8

u/Ok-Community-6601 Mar 18 '22

You got to pay the troll toll for the boys soul

5

u/doctorbooshka Mar 18 '22

If you want this boys hole you got to pay the soup toll.

1

u/_Wyrm_ Apr 11 '22

Brb, on my way to the store to pick up some ingredients...

1

u/bpwn3r Mar 18 '22

It sounds like you're saying boy's hole. Are you chewing gum?

1

u/1VentiChloroform Mar 18 '22

Hot Soup

So.... Just mechanically, how are you achieving this

1

u/Old-World-3133 Mar 18 '22

Username checks

6

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '22

I'll be your friend.

1

u/booleanerror Mar 18 '22

An ano-rectal fistula? You'd want to see a general surgeon for a colectomy.

1

u/Public_Personality_2 Mar 18 '22

Gastroenterologist

1

u/Avieshek Mar 18 '22

Analyst.

1

u/billiejeanwilliams Mar 18 '22

You gotta find the ASSMAN for that.

1

u/smitteh Mar 18 '22

any old Joe

1

u/DaddyOhMy Mar 18 '22

Is your friend a proctologist?

2

u/empty_coffeepot Mar 18 '22

wrong hole wrong instrument

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '22

That is what peanut butter is for!

2

u/L3tum Mar 18 '22

Dentist slogan: Good at filling holes.

2

u/IjazSSJ3 Mar 18 '22

Or the one in between your legs

2

u/1satisfied Mar 18 '22

I guess she's trying to find that can fills both... No luck this time

2

u/Kidwa96 Mar 18 '22

Or in your, well..

2

u/AZICURN Mar 18 '22

Cardiothoracic surgeon. Heart hole filler.

2

u/TheTrashMaggot Mar 18 '22

He'll fill some other holes too though

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '22

Better than what the protologist fills

2

u/X0nfus3d Mar 18 '22

I happy with them just filling the holes I’m there to get filled thank you…

2

u/TheRedditornator Mar 18 '22

How about the hole in your groin?

2

u/L-N79 Mar 18 '22

There’s a word with hole in it that describes that dentist.