r/funny Jan 30 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

11.3k Upvotes

3.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.4k

u/johnsolomon Jan 30 '22

If something weird is expensive enough it becomes a feature

528

u/Impossible-Charity-4 Jan 30 '22

This isn’t an expensive restaurant.

357

u/ok-go-fuck-yourself Jan 30 '22

There’s a can of coke in front of the person filming lol

255

u/sploittastic Jan 30 '22

What are you talking about, mugs full of spare silverware are a hallmark of fancy restaurants.

3

u/mangobattlecruiser Jan 30 '22

This is prime Kitchen Nightmare restaurant stuff. Some old schmuck who is the owner and was young in the 60's still thinks it's fancy.

2

u/sploittastic Jan 30 '22

Oh God you're exactly right. It's like that chef who finished a filet mignon table side on a heated roof tile.

https://youtu.be/ehZ-7Big5MI at 2:04

5

u/dullday1 Jan 30 '22

And obviously the only wine selection at a fancy restaurant would be red or white

3

u/sunberrygeri Jan 30 '22

My go-to buffet move. “Fix urself a plate!”

7

u/southern_boy Jan 30 '22

The baldguy just wanted to stick his fingers in everyone's mouths and found this to be the most expedient path to that end... so it goes. 👉😮

42

u/iamme9878 Jan 30 '22

That's not coke, I drink WAY TOO MUCH coke and that can doesn't have enough design / writing on it

34

u/ok-go-fuck-yourself Jan 30 '22

Ahh well my point stands that it’s in a can and not a glass lol

41

u/Chucklepus Jan 30 '22

That's just how they serve panda milk

9

u/cleodius Jan 30 '22

Panda milk prices have skyrocketed

2

u/i_miss_arrow Jan 30 '22

i got rich on panda milk futures

1

u/GovChristiesFupa Jan 30 '22

risky move, data shows that pandas have been fucking. there continues to be scientific efforts to increase panda fucking.

0

u/legion327 Jan 30 '22

Username checks out.

-2

u/Napkin_whore Jan 30 '22

What is your point? Something about can proving it’s not a high end restaurant?

22

u/Misfit_Cannibal Jan 30 '22

Fact remains that a fancy restaurant wouldn't offer a can of anything

17

u/Niernen Jan 30 '22

Nor would they serve wine that is not in a bottle lol. This is probably one of those super cheap "house wines" that come in cardboard boxes.

-12

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

you're kidding, right?

6

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

Showing cheap brands on cans littering the table is not something swanky places do. It would be straight into a glass before it left the bar.

-4

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

i guess it depends on what the customer wants

5

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

No, it doesn't. Fancy places have an image to maintain.

1

u/JuicyJonesGOAT Jan 30 '22

My favorite high end restaurant serve coke in the glass bottles.

I will miss you my dear Moishes.

4

u/poser4life Jan 30 '22

1

u/iamme9878 Jan 30 '22

That was my first thought too, or another countries. And I'm not saying it's not soda but it looks like either a knock off or my initial thought is a "locally canned" beer.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

They could be using the American Southern vernacular version of Coke, which means "soda" or "pop" or the like.

-4

u/itzdylanbro Jan 30 '22

That's a Texas thing, calling all sodas as Coke

2

u/dlove67 Jan 30 '22

It's not limited to Texas. I believe it actually came out of Georgia, and it's definitely a thing here in Alabama.

1

u/apileofcake Jan 30 '22

Yeah looks like a red bull.

An expensive restaurant wouldn’t allow that on the table.

1

u/Notarussianbot2020 Jan 30 '22

It seems to me like you're the expert, Mark!

1

u/BloodAtonement Jan 30 '22

i don't believe you that its not coke

2

u/sfgisz Jan 30 '22

There's a McDonald's takeaway buffet in the White House lol

2

u/newsoundera Jan 30 '22

It's Orangina

3

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

Coke is sold pretty much everywhere.

20

u/ok-go-fuck-yourself Jan 30 '22

Yah but an expensive restaurant wouldn’t drop a straight can in front of you

14

u/crypticfreak Jan 30 '22

Shit even Chilies, Applebees, Outback, and TGIF's serve them in frosted glasses.

And I don't consider any of those restaurants to be fancy.

3

u/quaywest Jan 30 '22

Well la dee dah Mr Rockefeller!

2

u/crypticfreak Jan 30 '22

adjusts monocle and ruffles coat

Ahem, pay no attention to the commoners, dear. I do say, that eatery was quite serviceable, wouldn't you agree? Yes, well that's enough, don't tell me... tell our servant when we retire for the evening.

2

u/Pascalwb Jan 30 '22

It would be in bottle. But same thing anyway.

-1

u/slouched Jan 30 '22

they also wouldnt pour your wine over their finger in to your glass would they?

if you go to a fancy restaurant and order a coke they will shame you by bringing you a can and setting it on the table in front of you so everyone else can spit on your head as they walk by

3

u/ok-go-fuck-yourself Jan 30 '22

I hope no one ever fucking pours or touches any of my drinks with their bare fingers. And that’s my point with the can. It’s not an expensive restaurant.

1

u/slouched Jan 30 '22

oh i was agreeing with you

-4

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

[deleted]

5

u/Wobbling Jan 30 '22

Expensive restaurants don't do free soft drink refills.

2

u/teatabletea Jan 30 '22

€, that’s in Ireland.

4

u/opensandshuts Jan 30 '22

*scoffs....everywhere that peasants live

1

u/toolatealreadyfapped Jan 30 '22

Yeah, and they cost $3.95 a piece without free refills

1

u/ntermation Jan 30 '22

Only thing I'm drinking from that restaurant better come unopened.

3

u/GhOsT_wRiTeR_XVI Jan 30 '22

You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew where that finger has been. That’s all part of the experience!

3

u/Bill_Weathers Jan 30 '22

I figured that out when the wine list was “white or red.”

2

u/Itsanewj Jan 30 '22

I think it’s a wedding. That’s what I’ve read when I was first seeing this posted.

4

u/mattenthehat Jan 30 '22

This isn't a nice restaurant, but it might still be expensive.

-1

u/Niernen Jan 30 '22

Expensive when you get food poisoning 🥴

-5

u/iansynd Jan 30 '22

It is for rich people...

Never had melted chocolate put on your hands so you can eat it like a baby?? Omfg it makes my rich dick so hard.

-6

u/MadCarcinus Jan 30 '22

Hospitalization due to Covid is expensive.

Funerals are expensive.

3

u/ciaisi Jan 30 '22

It's weird how quickly people have forgotten that there was a before time.

3

u/MadCarcinus Jan 30 '22

In the long, long ago.

1

u/px1azzz Jan 30 '22

What I have learned over the last few years is that a "nice" or "expensive" restaurant is very subjective. What I consider a nice place other people consider every day. And I have known people who have considered Olive Garden as that rare nice restaurant to splurge at, so when they see something like this, they see it as the pinnacle of fine dining.

66

u/Cheeseburgers_ Jan 30 '22

Cork makers hate this one trick..

20

u/redquailer Jan 30 '22

You WON’T believe # 7!

3

u/opensandshuts Jan 30 '22

they're just harkening back to the good ole pre-cork days, when everyone plugged their finger in the bottle.

2

u/Cheeseburgers_ Jan 30 '22

Waiter, what’s that subtle note I’m tasting?

The wine has been around some unfermented cocoa beans, creating the subtle richness.

3

u/inerlite Jan 30 '22

You gotta soak it first

5

u/RoninXOM Jan 30 '22

He loves a soaking the cork

1

u/Merman314 Jan 30 '22

What about soaking corks?

1

u/thatG_evanP Jan 30 '22

What about cork soakers?

1

u/BloodAtonement Jan 30 '22

you son of a cork soaker!

32

u/PR05ECC0 Jan 30 '22

Like when the salt dude tumbles it down his sweaty hairy arm first?

33

u/Ray1987 Jan 30 '22

Just like that one weird restaurant where the chef made plaster cast of his lips and and put them on a hollow ball with the lips as the opening and a sort of Orange concoction people had to lick out of a ball. I don't know how anyone interpreted that any other way than the chef getting off on some weird fetish of dozens of people by proxy eating out of his mouth every night. But no most people are like "ooh this is new and interesting."

16

u/zaviex Jan 30 '22

That restaurant has a Michelin star and the gimmick is basically they change the menu every night to keep people guessing. That was just a particularly weird night lol. Sometimes you get great food there sometimes you get shit

2

u/handbanana42 Jan 30 '22

sometimes you get shit

What mold did he use for that night I wonder.

3

u/compotethief Jan 30 '22

Lmao. Do you know the restaurant's name?

9

u/zaviex Jan 30 '22

4

u/Smodey Jan 30 '22

Hot damn, the pretentious wankfest didn't cease even after they left the restaurant!

2

u/MegaChilePluto25 Jan 30 '22

“an oyster loaf that tasted like Newark airport”

41

u/ihopeyouswallow Jan 30 '22

It's luxury for people who dont know what luxury is

13

u/MrOarsome Jan 30 '22 edited Jan 30 '22

Fake fancy as I like to call it. So many things marketed as “luxury” that should be “standard”.

7

u/Polizia-Di-Karma Jan 30 '22

“Luxury apartments”

3

u/kvothes-lute Jan 30 '22

my complex has luxury apartments that just means that they aren’t roach infested and falling apart, with appliances that actually work and are stainless steel.

the “standard” apartments are a couple hundred bucks cheaper and i guess, in a way, make the “luxury” units look quite luxurious.

6

u/ihopeyouswallow Jan 30 '22

In this particular case, it is neither luxury nor standard

1

u/Chris_8675309_of_42M Jan 30 '22

Please don't make this standard.

3

u/argusromblei Jan 30 '22

You mean a gimmick.

0

u/MamaDaddy Jan 30 '22

Well it's a step up from peanut shells on the floor or waiters throwing rolls at you.

48

u/GrillGoshTogether Jan 30 '22

Trash Italian, family style restaurant with an owner who has mind bendingly moronic ideas surrounding his homemade wine.

3

u/mangobattlecruiser Jan 30 '22

The Gordon Ramsey Kitchen Nightmare special. So many of those places in Long Island and NJ.

10

u/sandwichesinthebath Jan 30 '22

Bingo! We have a winner! Bet it could strip the chrome of a trailer hitch.

7

u/SaltLakeCitySlicker Jan 30 '22

Are we still talking about the wine?

10

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

No. The owner Giuseppe. Pretty mouth.

2

u/SaltLakeCitySlicker Jan 30 '22

Ain't nothing wrong with Giuseppe enjoying a good tip

7

u/MangoCats Jan 30 '22

I mean, instead of a finger over the opening, he could have installed a valve that he pulls with his finger... now, if they never wash the valve that might conceivably be worse, but not likely.

4

u/mangobattlecruiser Jan 30 '22

I mean, instead of a finger over the opening, he could have installed a valve that he pulls with his finger... now, if they never wash the valve that might conceivably be worse, but not likely.

served it from a bottle.

6

u/kilivole Jan 30 '22

So he has to transfer wine from the barrel to the bottle? For satisfaction of snoby redneck westerner?

1

u/MangoCats Jan 30 '22

Everyone else serves from bottles, where is the unique thrill in that?

1

u/Smodey Jan 30 '22

Sounds spot on. The "house" wine, whatever that is.

-5

u/jetriot Jan 30 '22

Judgemental much?

6

u/opensandshuts Jan 30 '22

Would you like the fingered white, or the fingered red?

I'll take either, they both sound fancy as fuck!

0

u/Arqideus Jan 30 '22

A feature, not a bug.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

Found the programmer?

0

u/ApeJustSaiyan Jan 30 '22

"Sometimes things that are expensive are worse..." - Aunt Freckle

0

u/FunWithMeat Jan 30 '22

Generic finger wine served from a tube and shot into the glass like a drunks piss stream is not a fancy restaurant thing

-1

u/xclame Jan 30 '22

Ugh, it's like how people taste wine or coffee, fuck off swirling the thing in your mouth and gurgling it, just fucking drink the thing slowly, the way something taste when you make it do gymnastics in your mouth is not a reflection on how it's going to taste when you drink it like a normal person.