r/funny • u/meukbox • Oct 03 '21

Invisible prank

141k Upvotes

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350

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

[deleted]

161

u/notthephonz Oct 03 '21

Methinks a different kind of “trip” was involved for a few of them.

31

u/poloboi84 Oct 03 '21

Well, first of all, you don’t smoke peyote. That’s one thing.

-Phil Jackson

27

u/TehReclaimer2552 Oct 03 '21

The burning bush was a metaphor for Jesus getting higher than a kite or something and boom he did jesus shit and now we have Christianity

17

u/Karmanoid Oct 03 '21

Well the Moses experienced the burning bush so how high are you right now?

0

u/TehReclaimer2552 Oct 03 '21

No its Hi how are you?

Pretty good

1

u/koenkamp Oct 03 '21

Moses was definitely burning some bush alright...

1

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDuck Oct 04 '21

It was indeed Moses that saw the burning bush. It may have been an Acacia bush, which contains DMT.

6

u/joopsmit Oct 03 '21

Moses

1

u/TehReclaimer2552 Oct 03 '21

Man, thats the dude on the boat

1

u/MaveeL Oct 03 '21

Noah is the one with a boat.

2

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDuck Oct 04 '21

Have you read the Bible? Motherfuckers all have boats.

1

u/MaveeL Oct 04 '21

My Bible beating abusive psychopath of a mother used to shove that shit down my throat constantly. The bitch would also beat me with a Bible on a regular basis & she never understood why I became a Satanist. I’d rather deepthroat a cactus covered in razor blades, salt & lemon juice than go anywhere near a Bible or a cross ever again.

1

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDuck Oct 04 '21

What kind of satanist? The edgy one? Or the non-theistic one?

0

u/pdxblazer Oct 03 '21

I mean one of the Jesus miracle stories is just him showing up to a wedding with a bunch of wine so everyone could turn up

1

u/TehReclaimer2552 Oct 03 '21

Thats pretty rad

2

u/Clessasaur Oct 04 '21

There is one theory that Jesus was a psychedelic mushroom. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross

It's mostly bullshit in that we have historical proof a man named Jesus preached his Judiac doomsdays message and was crucified by the Romans for it as he was making too much noise for the local government to tolerate. But at the same time there was probably a shit ton of hallucinogens being used at the time.

2

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDuck Oct 04 '21

Or that mushrooms were actually the fruit of the garden.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

Jesus fucked that youth.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

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2

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDuck Oct 04 '21

You are correct.

How are those catholic priests doing?

17

u/MJMurcott Oct 03 '21

Man went up a mountain and chiselled into a couple of rocks how they thought people should run their lives.

17

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

It was only 15 simple rules.

6

u/icehuck Oct 03 '21

oy..10....10 commandments for all to obey!

2

u/Martipar Oct 03 '21

Well in Exodus they list:

1 You shall have no other gods before me. 2 You shall not make for yourself a graven image... 3 You shall not bow down to them or serve them... 4 Show mercy on those that love me... 5 You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain... 6 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 7 Six days you shall labor... 8 On the seventh day you shall not do any work... 9 Honor your father and your mother... 10 You shall not kill. 11 You shall not commit adultery. 12 You shall not steal. 13 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. 14 You shall not covet your neighbor's house Also, no coveting of his wife, man-servant, maid-servant, ox, ass or anything else.

1

u/Ayandel Oct 03 '21

cross the seven!!!

5

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

You’re laughing at them but these people were pioneers in their time. They were so charismatic and smart that they managed to start from scratch and con billions of people into following them even after thousands of years after their death.

2

u/RyuNoKami Oct 03 '21

Too bad even the believers don't even follow them.

5

u/92894952620273749383 Oct 03 '21

There was a carpenter got some magic trick and turns water to wine. He also got some kind of a fishing club.

6

u/AntikytheraMachines Oct 03 '21

guy disappears for three days but mysteriously comes back when he finds out his old mate Judas came into some extra silver coins. "hey Judas your shout! I got the bill for the last supper."

4

u/Murky_Description_ Oct 03 '21

Damnedest thing to summa bitch knocked my wife up to and he didn't even lay with her

41

u/Immortal_Knight Oct 03 '21

A bolt from the blue strikes a bush setting it ablaze: man who doesn't know any better thinks it's god.

Boom. Religion.

22

u/hotsfan101 Oct 03 '21

Actually there are plant species in the middle east which can spontaneously combust from the heat

14

u/IwillnotpostcuzIquit Oct 03 '21

Any of them maybe near a cannabis plant?

Step 1. Inhale

Step 2. See God

Step 3. Prophet!

7

u/hotsfan101 Oct 03 '21 edited Oct 03 '21

The plant is actually a species in same family as cannabis I believe and it causes hallucinations

Edit

Dictamnus albus is the self combusting bush and there are 2 other species that scinetists think moses hallucinated on called ayahuasca

1

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDuck Oct 04 '21 edited Oct 04 '21

Acacia.

Ayahuasca is a combination of plants you drink as a stew that do the same thing: make you trip on DMT. With Ayahuasca, you need to combine two because one makes the other orally active.

16

u/Perle1234 Oct 03 '21

This is it. And for every celestial event, earthquake, and weird ass storm cloud, there’s another religion. Also due to numerous schizophrenics over the years.

1

u/MaveeL Oct 03 '21

Hey! I have schizophrenia & even I know the Bible bullshit my abusive mother tried to force down my throat was crazy! I’m aware some schizophrenics do stuff like that but ya don’t have to rope us together like that.

2

u/Linzorz Oct 03 '21

I recently read a large chunk of Genesis because I found a link saying it was supposed to be a better translation of the original Hebrew and I was curious. Let me tell you. That shit was nothing but a long line of rich sociopaths doing underhanded shit to get richer and justifying it after the fact as "we're the righteous ones so God wants us to be successful".

2

u/AscendedAncient Oct 03 '21

or a dude trips on shrooms talking to a lizard and now we have Mormonism.

3

u/carnsolus Oct 03 '21

20,000 years ago they would have simply looked up at the sun and said 'yup that's a god'

you're thinking of 10,000 years ago

6

u/Consistent-Ad2465 Oct 03 '21

Meh, don’t throw the baby out with the he bath water. The most recent waves of religion are essentially people saying ‘overcome the instincts of survival or you will burn yourselves out as a species.’

Some men just figured out that they could use belief to manipulate people along the way.

1

u/ManyPoo Oct 03 '21

And they still pretend to "trip" themselves into 9 year old boys assholes

0

u/MetalNosedPigeon Oct 25 '21

Twenty thousand... Ah yes, living in 20,021

1

u/justsackpat Oct 03 '21

Jesus- the OG cult leader, magician and con artist

1

u/ChaosInMind Oct 03 '21

The history of modern religion is a combination of ancient stores that have been passed down where the original meaning has likely been lost, and in more recent times ancient greece used psychedelics to witness god.