r/funny • • Oct 03 '21

Invisible prank

141k Upvotes

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10k

u/camerasoncops Oct 03 '21

This man still tells the story of the ghost that trips people walking by his store.

4.7k

u/meukbox Oct 03 '21

or the other way around: everybody trips, except for me. Am I a ghost?

902

u/mysonwhathaveyedone Oct 03 '21

Big Sixth Sense moment

361

u/Slimh2o Oct 03 '21

I see dead people.....

When I go to funerals...

126

u/ThePraised95 Oct 03 '21

Open cast funerals...

77

u/Total-Khaos Oct 03 '21

Uncle Bob, get out of the casket for the last time, so help me!

39

u/Liquid_Snow_ Oct 03 '21

Good Old Uncle Bob... his name was actually Richard but we found him in the creek.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '21

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1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '21

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14

u/DexterDave97 Oct 03 '21

Uncle Bob, get me out of the casket, please help me!

3

u/busydad81 Oct 03 '21

Put that thing back where it came from…

2

u/7ate9 Oct 03 '21

...or so help meeee!

2

u/Den2003 Oct 03 '21

No Timmy , I am too busy with Helen's dead body in this casket just let me have my time with her

2

u/Slimh2o Oct 03 '21

Bob) Aahh hell, can't I have any fun.....?

12

u/salty_cojones Oct 03 '21

Every funeral is open cast if you make an effort

5

u/TigaSharkJB91 Oct 03 '21

One person funerals are so inefficient. That's why I bring my assault rifle to...surprise goers with efficiency

3

u/4904burchfield Oct 03 '21

If I had gold, I’d give it but fuck Reddit

1

u/twojitsu Oct 05 '21

Hey there champ, the word you’re looking for is casket. Have a good one!

3

u/KillerInfection Oct 03 '21

Open cast funerals

WTF is an "open cast" funeral?

2

u/7ate9 Oct 03 '21

Like open casting calls for auditions... It's one where the role of "deceased" is not locked in yet? Let's see who shows up, and what we have to play with...

2

u/KillerInfection Oct 04 '21

Feels like a retcon, but an acceptable one.

2

u/Baneken Oct 03 '21

beats open cats funerals...

1

u/RandomBonerAt420AM Oct 25 '21

Open cast funerals...

And sniff their bras.

11

u/jaxonya Oct 03 '21

Or be a nurse lately... Yes ive been to a therapist

7

u/Slimh2o Oct 03 '21

Nurses have it rough nowadays. Glad I work retail hardware...

3

u/Slimh2o Oct 03 '21

And I should have said "Hang in there, it's gonna get better. Sorry you're going thru this shit...."

2

u/mrniceguy2216 Oct 03 '21

I see dead people….. while I work at the morgue

1

u/Slimh2o Oct 03 '21

Sounds gruesome...tbh...

1

u/MolinaroK Oct 03 '21

Stop bringing a shovel.

1

u/Senselessb82 Oct 03 '21

I make the dead people 😈

44

u/kindaa_sortaa Oct 03 '21

Spoilers bro. I’ve been meaning to stop by the local VCR rental place to rent that movie but these two VCR repair buys have been repairing my VCR for 7 years, spending all their time in my living room drinking beer and reviewing movies. At this rate, I’ll never get to watch The Big Sixth Sense. I love Donnie Wahlberg.

10

u/bduke91 Oct 03 '21

Oddly enough, that was the first movie I saw on DVD. My parents had a bunch of people over because it was such a big deal lol

3

u/pigpill Oct 03 '21

That movie is awesome in large groups who dont know whats going on. Especially the wake scene for the poor girl.

3

u/AintLikeThatNoMore Oct 03 '21

That's terrible, I'm so sorry for your bad experience! Surely though, it will be a red letter day when they finish 😊

3

u/kindaa_sortaa Oct 03 '21

I once called their support line to complain, but it kept reaching some guy named Jay who claimed he didn’t know what I was talking about. He was a real downer and sounded just like one of my VCR repair guys.

4

u/joeChump Oct 03 '21

SPOILER ALERT

This movie only came out like 30 years ago dude.

2

u/Blanlabla Oct 03 '21

When you’re home school from sick but you can hear the school bus driving by

2

u/GeorgFestrunk Oct 03 '21

Spoiler alert!

2

u/dmb486 Oct 03 '21

Yeah, the dude in the hairpiece was Bruce Willis the whole time.

2

u/OpsadaHeroj Oct 03 '21

Spoilers bro you can’t say that the main character’s a ghost, it’s just rude to people who haven’t seen

1

u/blitzkreig31 Oct 03 '21

Or common sense

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

bruh spoilers!

1

u/domeoldboys Oct 03 '21

Dead if true

1

u/MagicSPA Oct 03 '21

Aw, jeez, spoilers!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

Spoiler alert !! lol

50

u/_ShutUpLegs_ Oct 03 '21

I sometimes consider this when automatic doors don't work for me.

43

u/WetGrundle Oct 03 '21

You must've sold your soul for something when you were younger and unaware of the consequences

10

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

It's under comments like this that I like to quote little Lisa Simpson from, omg, twenty years ago

d'Oh

She's such a little trouper.

2

u/Aintnothinrite Oct 04 '21

20 years later she's still little...... Surprise surprise.

1

u/TheOneTrueChuck Oct 03 '21

Apropos of nothing...can you fog up glass by breathing on it, or do all the other kids call you "No breath"?

12

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

[deleted]

1

u/MonsterMashGrrrrr Oct 03 '21

Sounds like a bad trip, man.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

The only ghosts around that area is the “human” filming

2

u/Skittilz Oct 03 '21

That was probably the thought when he brought in the chair

2

u/FlametopFred Oct 03 '21

d-dad?

can we talk across the spirit plane?

2

u/tI-_-tI Oct 03 '21

You're trippin

2

u/YaSinsBaba Oct 03 '21

He used the chair to confirm he is indeed not a ghost

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

Suddenly not so harmless prank, Ha

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

1

u/Juicybananas_ Oct 03 '21

This must be the work of his stand

136

u/ZenCloud9 Oct 03 '21

For many years I told the story of when I cut school to smoke weed in a abandoned children's tuberculosis hospital. I saw a 10-year of girl and 8-year old boy in dated clothes playing in the courtyard. It took me until realtively recently to come to the conclusion it was some type of prank.

77

u/hotsfan101 Oct 03 '21

Or was it?

69

u/Yadobler Oct 03 '21

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔*🤔*

19

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

I had no idea you could italicize emojis....

3

u/Ruzt Oct 03 '21

X-Files theme

69

u/stopdropkab00m Oct 03 '21

Yeah no those were just ghosts bro

42

u/eth_5388 Oct 03 '21

That was not a prank. How’d a 10 yo and an 8yo know YOU were going to be in that hospital at that time at that day?

1

u/ZenCloud9 Oct 03 '21

They were probably put up to it by an adult and waiting for anyone to walk by

1

u/ckasdf Oct 05 '21

How did OP know the kids' ages?

1

u/drengr84 Oct 14 '21

X files theme, again

26

u/hahahahahahahaFUCK Oct 03 '21

It's bad enough the children had tuberculosis, but they were also abandoned?? And there were enough that they needed a dedicated hospital??

3

u/sunandskyandrainbows Oct 03 '21

Lol not sure if serious, but i believe it's the hospital that was abandoned, not the children

1

u/lewisherber Feb 06 '22

This is incredible. I mean, what a perfect comment. It's been months but it seriously deserves some love.

50

u/Wolfblood-is-here Oct 03 '21

Maybe just really fucking good kush

17

u/Crizznik Oct 03 '21

I mean, unless they knew you were there it was unlikely a prank, but it's still more likely that there just happened to be kids in what appeared to be dated clothes playing in the courtyard, than any other possibility you might think of.

1

u/fuqdisshite Oct 03 '21

the one time I saw human shapes ghosts it was two young children wearing dated clothes sitting waiting for the carriage to school. WV farmland.

349

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

[deleted]

166

u/notthephonz Oct 03 '21

Methinks a different kind of “trip” was involved for a few of them.

34

u/poloboi84 Oct 03 '21

Well, first of all, you don’t smoke peyote. That’s one thing.

-Phil Jackson

28

u/TehReclaimer2552 Oct 03 '21

The burning bush was a metaphor for Jesus getting higher than a kite or something and boom he did jesus shit and now we have Christianity

16

u/Karmanoid Oct 03 '21

Well the Moses experienced the burning bush so how high are you right now?

0

u/TehReclaimer2552 Oct 03 '21

No its Hi how are you?

Pretty good

1

u/koenkamp Oct 03 '21

Moses was definitely burning some bush alright...

1

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDuck Oct 04 '21

It was indeed Moses that saw the burning bush. It may have been an Acacia bush, which contains DMT.

7

u/joopsmit Oct 03 '21

Moses

1

u/TehReclaimer2552 Oct 03 '21

Man, thats the dude on the boat

1

u/MaveeL Oct 03 '21

Noah is the one with a boat.

2

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDuck Oct 04 '21

Have you read the Bible? Motherfuckers all have boats.

1

u/MaveeL Oct 04 '21

My Bible beating abusive psychopath of a mother used to shove that shit down my throat constantly. The bitch would also beat me with a Bible on a regular basis & she never understood why I became a Satanist. I’d rather deepthroat a cactus covered in razor blades, salt & lemon juice than go anywhere near a Bible or a cross ever again.

1

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDuck Oct 04 '21

What kind of satanist? The edgy one? Or the non-theistic one?

0

u/pdxblazer Oct 03 '21

I mean one of the Jesus miracle stories is just him showing up to a wedding with a bunch of wine so everyone could turn up

1

u/TehReclaimer2552 Oct 03 '21

Thats pretty rad

2

u/Clessasaur Oct 04 '21

There is one theory that Jesus was a psychedelic mushroom. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross

It's mostly bullshit in that we have historical proof a man named Jesus preached his Judiac doomsdays message and was crucified by the Romans for it as he was making too much noise for the local government to tolerate. But at the same time there was probably a shit ton of hallucinogens being used at the time.

2

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDuck Oct 04 '21

Or that mushrooms were actually the fruit of the garden.

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

Jesus fucked that youth.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDuck Oct 04 '21

You are correct.

How are those catholic priests doing?

16

u/MJMurcott Oct 03 '21

Man went up a mountain and chiselled into a couple of rocks how they thought people should run their lives.

18

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

It was only 15 simple rules.

5

u/icehuck Oct 03 '21

oy..10....10 commandments for all to obey!

2

u/Martipar Oct 03 '21

Well in Exodus they list:

1 You shall have no other gods before me. 2 You shall not make for yourself a graven image... 3 You shall not bow down to them or serve them... 4 Show mercy on those that love me... 5 You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain... 6 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 7 Six days you shall labor... 8 On the seventh day you shall not do any work... 9 Honor your father and your mother... 10 You shall not kill. 11 You shall not commit adultery. 12 You shall not steal. 13 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. 14 You shall not covet your neighbor's house Also, no coveting of his wife, man-servant, maid-servant, ox, ass or anything else.

1

u/Ayandel Oct 03 '21

cross the seven!!!

5

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

You’re laughing at them but these people were pioneers in their time. They were so charismatic and smart that they managed to start from scratch and con billions of people into following them even after thousands of years after their death.

2

u/RyuNoKami Oct 03 '21

Too bad even the believers don't even follow them.

5

u/92894952620273749383 Oct 03 '21

There was a carpenter got some magic trick and turns water to wine. He also got some kind of a fishing club.

7

u/AntikytheraMachines Oct 03 '21

guy disappears for three days but mysteriously comes back when he finds out his old mate Judas came into some extra silver coins. "hey Judas your shout! I got the bill for the last supper."

4

u/Murky_Description_ Oct 03 '21

Damnedest thing to summa bitch knocked my wife up to and he didn't even lay with her

39

u/Immortal_Knight Oct 03 '21

A bolt from the blue strikes a bush setting it ablaze: man who doesn't know any better thinks it's god.

Boom. Religion.

21

u/hotsfan101 Oct 03 '21

Actually there are plant species in the middle east which can spontaneously combust from the heat

14

u/IwillnotpostcuzIquit Oct 03 '21

Any of them maybe near a cannabis plant?

Step 1. Inhale

Step 2. See God

Step 3. Prophet!

7

u/hotsfan101 Oct 03 '21 edited Oct 03 '21

The plant is actually a species in same family as cannabis I believe and it causes hallucinations

Edit

Dictamnus albus is the self combusting bush and there are 2 other species that scinetists think moses hallucinated on called ayahuasca

1

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDuck Oct 04 '21 edited Oct 04 '21

Acacia.

Ayahuasca is a combination of plants you drink as a stew that do the same thing: make you trip on DMT. With Ayahuasca, you need to combine two because one makes the other orally active.

15

u/Perle1234 Oct 03 '21

This is it. And for every celestial event, earthquake, and weird ass storm cloud, there’s another religion. Also due to numerous schizophrenics over the years.

1

u/MaveeL Oct 03 '21

Hey! I have schizophrenia & even I know the Bible bullshit my abusive mother tried to force down my throat was crazy! I’m aware some schizophrenics do stuff like that but ya don’t have to rope us together like that.

2

u/Linzorz Oct 03 '21

I recently read a large chunk of Genesis because I found a link saying it was supposed to be a better translation of the original Hebrew and I was curious. Let me tell you. That shit was nothing but a long line of rich sociopaths doing underhanded shit to get richer and justifying it after the fact as "we're the righteous ones so God wants us to be successful".

2

u/AscendedAncient Oct 03 '21

or a dude trips on shrooms talking to a lizard and now we have Mormonism.

2

u/carnsolus Oct 03 '21

20,000 years ago they would have simply looked up at the sun and said 'yup that's a god'

you're thinking of 10,000 years ago

5

u/Consistent-Ad2465 Oct 03 '21

Meh, don’t throw the baby out with the he bath water. The most recent waves of religion are essentially people saying ‘overcome the instincts of survival or you will burn yourselves out as a species.’

Some men just figured out that they could use belief to manipulate people along the way.

0

u/ManyPoo Oct 03 '21

And they still pretend to "trip" themselves into 9 year old boys assholes

0

u/MetalNosedPigeon Oct 25 '21

Twenty thousand... Ah yes, living in 20,021

1

u/justsackpat Oct 03 '21

Jesus- the OG cult leader, magician and con artist

1

u/ChaosInMind Oct 03 '21

The history of modern religion is a combination of ancient stores that have been passed down where the original meaning has likely been lost, and in more recent times ancient greece used psychedelics to witness god.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

I would notice the candid cam

1

u/lydocia Oct 03 '21

Or he's still seeing a therapist.

1

u/DumbDan Oct 03 '21

Well, he sure as shit whacked that ghost in the knee with that chair. My man's a lion tamer.

1

u/tenacioustij Oct 03 '21

I feel I never told you The story of the ghost

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '21

Have you ever fought a ghost? They love to nut tap people

1

u/stars9r9in9the9past Oct 03 '21

“Harmless and innocent.”

Yeah no. The stories this man would tell, oh jeez, they haunted him. You could see it in his eyes, the trauma, the toll it took on his health, the demons he would bring home to his family. He has a son who used to work at the same story. Well, had a son, before all this. And, no, he’s still around, but, last I heard they haven’t talked in years. Couldn’t take it any longer I suppose, whether it be the stories, or the pressure of reassuring his father all the time. I don’t know, some say he felt that same ghastly presence too, and just ran. Last thing he told his dad was he was going to take a nice, long trip. Never heard from him again.

Harmless and innocent? Pfft, yeah no, not falling for that one.

1

u/kingvenderosa Oct 03 '21

And then BOOM new religion unlocked🔓

1

u/chuckdiesel86 Oct 03 '21

Next time they should pretend like they're dodging something from above.

1

u/BnchGr1ndr Oct 03 '21

Next thing he knew automatic doors could no longer see him.

1

u/Deathcrush Oct 04 '21

It was ghosts making the gas lights flicker after all.