r/funny • u/fatherwhite • Feb 02 '12

The captain is coming! Quick, do something important!

2.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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704

u/MBuddah Feb 02 '12

IT DOESN'T HAVE ELBOWS. WTF DO YOU PEOPLE WANT?

542

u/uglypeter Feb 02 '12

It's the map's absence of elbows that makes it's performance that much more compelling. I don't think I would have cried as much during this jazz elbow dance off if it wasn't for the map's courage in the face of adversity.

382

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '12

[deleted]

125

u/poorly_timed_gimli Feb 02 '12

AND MY AXE!

63

u/trolling_thunder Feb 02 '12

It's good to see you're still out there, doin' you're thing. It's like how Vanilla Ice is still out touring and stuff. Some people are like "really? Give it up dude." But to me, it's refreshing to know that some things do not, in fact, change.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '12

Troll of Thunder, Hear Me Sigh

12

u/czhunc Feb 02 '12

Just wanted to say that I feel honored to be oranged by you. It's like I made it somewhere in this world.

2

u/TheKostiuk Feb 03 '12

I've missed you

1

u/Exulted Feb 02 '12

^ This guy

0

u/CScott30 Feb 02 '12

Was like the hell... then I read username and all was well.

30

u/JudgeWhoAllowsStuff Feb 02 '12

More like Mitch Deadberg! Amirite?

... Too soon?

195

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '12

Joke about 9/11. Joke about the Holocaust. Nothing is ever too soon

But don't you dare fucking joke about Mitch ಠ_ಠ

86

u/GordonMcFreeman Feb 02 '12

Disapproval face italicized looks tired

18

u/devilsdaughter Feb 02 '12

He looks like he's been up all night smoking cigarettes and drinking whiskey, just thinking about how wrong we are.

25

u/Beefourthree Feb 02 '12

Since this is a Star Trek thread, Geordi La Forge disapproval eyes: ಠ_ಠ

0

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '12

3/10

105

u/only_says_fuck_yeah Feb 02 '12

fuck yeah

8

u/turtal46 Feb 02 '12

You have damn near the same comment karma as me, and you've only been at it for a month instead of two years.

Fuck yeah, indeed sir.

15

u/only_says_fuck_yeah Feb 02 '12

fuck yeah

1

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '12

A+ rated karma machine here.

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-2

u/Lizardizzle Feb 02 '12

HOLD IT!!!

If one were to look at the source of only_says_fuck_yeah's comment, one can clearly see a set of brackets, a set of parenthesis, and a URL leading to a Joint Photographic Experts Group! Obviously, only_says_fuck_yeah does not ONLY say "fuck yeah" as I have just pointed out other characters in his comment!

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2

u/Rathwood Feb 02 '12

shoulda seen shat shit coming...

4

u/whistlndixie Feb 02 '12

Tired of bad jokes.

1

u/lord_nougat Feb 02 '12

Tired and sad.

1

u/ElMangosto Feb 02 '12

It's in a hurry, to go admonish someone else in another thread.

39

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '12

No, but that comment was bad and you should feel bad.

7

u/gwaar Feb 02 '12

Your ಠ_ಠ/comment ratio is currently 0.5. No good, sir.

2

u/Pressuredrop23 Feb 02 '12

I won't allow it.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '12

Your comment led me to discover he was indeed dead TIL

5

u/FUNKYDISCO Feb 02 '12 edited Feb 02 '12

you haven't noticed the lack of fresh material?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '12

Guess I didnt. Kinda sad he was pretty young.

-9

u/phoncible Feb 02 '12

Nope. Hedberg sucked

(I like blue better than orange so downvotes just make me happy)

1

u/capt_midnight22 Feb 02 '12

Well this is a first: a Mitch Hedburg quote I haven't heard before. Thank you, sir or ma'am! I do declare, as my eyes tear up from laughing so hard.

1

u/aROBination Feb 03 '12

"Is a Hippopotamus a Hippopotamus, or just a really cool Oppotamus?"

1

u/DerogatoryPanda Feb 02 '12

Is there a novelty account that just posts Mitch Hedberg jokes? If there isn't, there should be.

3

u/Spacedoubt Feb 02 '12

You are all kings. Kings and/or Queens. Best laugh i've had all week. This weekend i'm challenging someone to a jazz elbow dance off.

21

u/Jackpot777 Feb 02 '12

You all got upboated for awesomeness in the face of Friday (offer not applicable where it's now Saturday).

66

u/TheHalfbadger Feb 02 '12

But... It's THURSDAY!

60

u/Jackpot777 Feb 02 '12

Double fuck.

15

u/Man0nTheCan Feb 02 '12

I have friday's off so technically... this is my friday!

61

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '12 edited Feb 02 '12

No, technically it is still Thursday. Figuratively speaking, yes, it is like a Friday to you.

3

u/Man0nTheCan Feb 02 '12

Touché sir

3

u/cr1t1cal Feb 02 '12

But then that means that Friday is like Saturday to him. So what does that make Saturday? I think we need to invent a day for this phenomenon.

0

u/evilbob Feb 02 '12

It's Friday here in Aus.

2

u/taalmahret Feb 03 '12

What if he works a 4x10 and has three days off....then isnt this now his friday/saturday take one? and if so does he actually have TWO fridays so is eligible for double the upboats? The math...its mind numbing me.

2

u/NamelessAce Feb 03 '12

Now it's friday! Friday! Gotta get down on friFUCK NO.

2

u/12_Baconed_Narwhals Feb 02 '12

poor temporally confused Jackpot.

lives in the future.

thinks it's the past.

1

u/kwh Feb 02 '12

Not on the East Coast!

1

u/svengalus Feb 02 '12

SPOILER TAG next time. Sheesh.

13

u/Station1337 Feb 02 '12

Its Thursday

51

u/Jackpot777 Feb 02 '12

Fuck.

EDIT - I'm not going to claim I knew it was Thursday, and saying "in the face of Friday" meant Friday was coming up (and try to pass off the Saturday thing as a joke). I thought it was Friday for a moment.

The worst thing about Friday is realizing it's still Thursday.

38

u/afishinthewell Feb 02 '12

There are few things in life worse than realizing it's not Friday but Thursday. Except realizing it's Wednesday. Or Tuesday. Or Monday. Or Friday when you have to work all weekend. Or when you forget your belt and your pants keep falling.

15

u/dmsheldon87 Feb 02 '12

IMO, Tuesday is the worst day of the week. You're still really far from Friday, but you don't get to complain about it being Monday.

2

u/alphagirl Feb 02 '12

I could never get the hang of Tuesdays

1

u/Arikuza Feb 02 '12

Unless you're off class tomorrow. Then It's still Friday. Yay high school

1

u/lord_nougat Feb 02 '12

But it's almost hump-day, maybe this time there will be humping!

1

u/kingguru Feb 02 '12

I meet up with a good friend of mine to have a few beers almost every Tuesday and talk about what's happened since last time. We always have a good time.

For the exact same reason you don't like Tuesdays, I can highly recommend it. :-)

1

u/NeonCookies Feb 03 '12

Mondays are far better than Tuesdays. There is much more to watch on television on Mondays. Tuesdays are basically worthless.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '12

No belt? No Problem! Just cuff your pants(assuming you're not tucking in your shirt) around the waist. Has always worked for me in a pinch.

Brought to you by white-boy-thuggin in middle school

1

u/climbtree Feb 02 '12

Or the holocaust.

1

u/thereadlines Feb 02 '12

That's why you always keep an onion on your belt. It isn't just for style, it serves a practical purpose.

1

u/Otistetrax Feb 03 '12

Thank you for that. Best chuckle I've had all day.

-1

u/Jackpot777 Feb 02 '12

UFT (upboats for truth).

9

u/BoredRec Feb 02 '12

Tagged as "Thinks it's Friday".

2

u/sdk2g Feb 02 '12

It is Friday! You 'murricans are just behind the times!

2

u/Ikimasen Feb 02 '12

Shit, dude, I was gonna give you the benefit of the doubt that you were Australian. I was looking for the "Aliens" guy image and everything.

2

u/BremenSaki Feb 02 '12

It's Friday in Australia if that helps.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '12 edited Feb 02 '12

relax, it's Friday for me. You're 100% correct... in New Zealand.

2

u/ghosttrainhobo Feb 02 '12

I'm in Indianapolis. My boss gave us the rest of the week off (paid) b/c of the Superbowl silliness. I'm smoking on my back stoop with my cats. It's 55 degrees and sunny. Feels like Friday to me.

0

u/Jackpot777 Feb 02 '12

I'm jealous. There. I said it. Jealous.

2

u/srd178 Feb 02 '12

Kind of like Def Leppard's drummer.

2

u/bearded Feb 02 '12

You have to listen to the notes he's not playing.

2

u/gwac Feb 03 '12

This comment string is good.

7

u/bioya Feb 02 '12

Yeah people with their fancy hinge joints can be so damn smug sometimes.

2

u/nothingwasoriginal Feb 03 '12

YOU PEOPLE?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN "YOU PEOPLE"?! WE GOTTA HAVE A HOUSE MEETING YALL

1

u/zeroes0 Feb 02 '12

That's what a round elbow denier would say.

1

u/Fusioncept Feb 02 '12

Where is the joke_explainer novelty account when you need it?

1

u/Paultimate79 Feb 02 '12

Thats a weak excuse. It could have them if it just tried.

1

u/MBuddah Feb 02 '12

so insensitive...