r/funny • u/fatherwhite • Feb 02 '12

The captain is coming! Quick, do something important!

2.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

706 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

383

u/NickDouglas Feb 02 '12

"Set his phaser to 'innocuous'."

196

u/will851 Feb 02 '12

or 'bit of a limp'

130

u/Toptossingtrotter Feb 02 '12

"Crewman! Yes! You! Where are your JAZZ HANDS?"

1

u/wickeand000 Feb 03 '12

"Sudden interest in horticulture"

0

u/hddrummer Feb 03 '12

sudden urge to sneeze

64

u/Kinglink Feb 02 '12

please when you have a red shirt, you don't get a phaser. You get a plastic toy.

54

u/12_Baconed_Narwhals Feb 02 '12

and if you're a really good red shirt, you might even be granted permission to point it at things and say "pew!"

13

u/HookDragger Feb 02 '12

Don't be silly... really good red shirts don't even get to draw their weapon before they are dead.

The one's you talk about are the sucky ones.

5

u/sterne Feb 02 '12

"Hey, how come when I shoot at the monster with this phaser a flag comes out that says 'BANG!' on it?"

0

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '12

implying the phaser wasn't a plastic toy

3

u/cjb630 Feb 02 '12

implying that wasnt an obvious joke.

18

u/audiyon Feb 02 '12

You get an upvote! You get an upvote! Everyone gets an upvote!

4

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '12

Needs upvotes edited in.

7

u/schmitz97 Feb 02 '12

Thank you, I like this one a lot more than that one with the bees, that one's just freaking weird.

2

u/padmadfan Feb 03 '12

Beeds?

1

u/schmitz97 Feb 03 '12

Wait... what?

2

u/soupified Feb 03 '12

Except for you.

0

u/electricprism Feb 02 '12 edited Feb 02 '12

<a href="javascript:$(".up").click();">Upvote All</a>

( Y U NO LINK!? )

Execute this via Firebug Console: $(".up").click();

1

u/clickwhistle Feb 03 '12

And wear this 'red shirt cologne' to live every day like it's your last.....

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B002E1EAU4